Sword of Dungeons & Dragons

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from Rogues and from Clerics.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create a 4/4 gold Dragon creature token with flying and roll a d20 (a twenty-sided die). If you roll a 20, repeat this process.
Equip {2}

Blast from the Past

Madness {R}, cycling {1}{R}, kicker {2}{R}, flashback {3}{R}, buyback {4}{R}
Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to any target. If this spell was kicked, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token.

Thought Vessel

You have no maximum hand size.
{T}: Add {C}.

Animate Library

Enchant your library
Enchanted library is an artifact creature on the battlefield with power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It's still a library.
If enchanted library would leave the battlefield, exile Animate Library instead.

Gifts Given

Search target opponent's library for four cards with different names and reveal them. That player chooses two of those cards. Put the chosen cards into the player's graveyard and the rest into your hand. Then that player shuffles their library.

Thopter Pie Network

At the beginning of your upkeep, if you're eating, create a 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature token with flying. Use food to represent the token.
Whenever a creature token you control dies, if it's represented by food, eat it.

Chromatic Lantern

Lands you control have "{T}: Add one mana of any color."
{T}: Add one mana of any color.

Greater Morphling

{2}: Greater Morphling gains your choice of banding, bushido 1, double strike, fear, flying, first strike, haste, landwalk of your choice, protection from a color of your choice, provoke, rampage 1, shadow, or trample until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling becomes the colors of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling becomes the creature type of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling's expansion symbol becomes the symbol of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling's art becomes by the artist of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling gets +2/-2 or -2/+2 until end of turn.
{2}: Untap Greater Morphling.

Free-for-All

When Free-for-All enters, exile all creatures face down.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player chooses a card exiled with Free-for-All at random and puts it onto the battlefield.
When Free-for-All leaves the battlefield, put all cards exiled with it into their owners' graveyards.

Clocknapper

When Clocknapper enters, choose beginning phase, first main phase, combat phase, postcombat main phase, or ending phase. Steal that phase from target player during their next turn. (That phase occurs as though it's your turn instead.)

Everythingamajig

{1}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add {C}{C}. Activate only as an instant.
{3}, {T}: Target player discards a card. Activate only during your turn.
{X}: Everythingamajig becomes an X/X Construct artifact creature until end of turn.

Arcane Signet

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Graveyard Busybody

All graveyards are also your graveyards.
Graveyard Busybody's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards with flavor text in your graveyards.

Talisman of Creativity

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}. Talisman of Creativity deals 1 damage to you.

Fellwar Stone

{T}: Add one mana of any color that a land an opponent controls could produce.

Fire Diamond

Fire Diamond enters tapped.
{T}: Add {R}.

Bureaucracy

Pursuant to subsection 3.1(4) of Richard's Rules of Order, at the beginning of the upkeep of each participant in this game of the Magic: The Gathering® trading card game (hereafter known as "PLAYER"), that PLAYER performs all actions in the sequence of previously added actions (hereafter known as "ACTION QUEUE"), in the order those actions were added, then adds another action to the end of the ACTION QUEUE. All actions must be simple physical or verbal actions that a player can perform while sitting in a chair, without jeopardizing the health and security of said PLAYER.
When any PLAYER does not perform all the prescribed actions in the correct order, sacrifice Bureaucracy and said PLAYER discards their complement of cards in hand (hereafter known as "HAND").

{2}, {T}: Draw a card. Activate only if you have no cards in hand.
{8}, {T}: You gain 10 life.
{4}, {T}, Sacrifice Everythingamajig: You may put a silver-bordered or acorn permanent card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Myriad Landscape

Myriad Landscape enters tapped.
{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}, Sacrifice Myriad Landscape: Search your library for up to two basic land cards that share a land type, put them onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Basalt Monolith

Basalt Monolith doesn't untap during your untap step.
{T}: Add {C}{C}{C}.
{3}: Untap Basalt Monolith.

{1}, {T}: Scry 2.
{1}, {T}, Pay 1 life: Create a 0/1 white Goat creature token.
{7}, {T}, Sacrifice Everythingamajig: Choose target player. At the beginning of the next end step, exchange life totals with that player, exchange control of all permanents you and that player control, and exchange cards in your hands, cards in your libraries, and cards in your graveyards.

Command Tower

{2}, {T}: Move a counter from one permanent onto another. If the second permanent refers to any kind of counter, the moved counter becomes one of those counters. Otherwise, it becomes a +1/+1 counter.
{3}, {T}: Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.
{4}, {T}: Proliferate. (Choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.)

Terramorphic Expanse

{T}, Sacrifice Terramorphic Expanse: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Decanter of Endless Water

You have no maximum hand size.
{T}: Add one mana of any color.

Izzet Boilerworks

Izzet Boilerworks enters tapped.
When Izzet Boilerworks enters, return a land you control to its owner's hand.
{T}: Add {U}{R}.

Ashnod's Coupon

{T}, Sacrifice Ashnod's Coupon: Target player gets you target drink. You pay any costs for the drink.

Liquimetal Torque

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Target nonland permanent becomes an artifact in addition to its other types until end of turn.

Gilded Lotus

Worn Powerstone

Worn Powerstone enters tapped.
{T}: Add {C}{C}.

Island

Mind Stone

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice Mind Stone: Draw a card.

Assquatch

Each other Donkey gets +1½/+1½.
Whenever another Donkey enters, untap target creature and gain control of it until end of turn. That creature gains haste until end of turn.

Boomstacker

As Boomstacker enters and whenever it attacks, stack two dice on top of it. (All dice must be stacked vertically, one on top of another.)
Boomstacker gets +1/+1 for each die in its stack.
Boomstacker attacks each combat if able.
When the stack falls, sacrifice Boomstacker.

Infinity Elemental

Commander's Sphere

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.
Sacrifice Commander's Sphere: Draw a card.

Nerf War

Fire a Nerf® blaster until empty at target library from at least two meters away. For each card knocked off that library, put it into its owner's graveyard and Nerf War deals ½ damage to that player. (Foam darts only.)

Swiftwater Cliffs

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, you gain 1 life.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}.

Exotic Orchard

Izzet Signet

Mountain

City of Ass

City of Ass enters tapped.
{T}: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.

Thran Dynamo

Alexander Clamilton

Whenever you cast a wordy spell, scry 2. (A spell is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)
{1}{R}, {T}: Choose target creature you don't control. Reveal the top card of your library. Alexander Clamilton gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of lines of rules text of the revealed card. Alexander Clamilton fights that creature.

{T}: Add one mana of any color.
{1}, {T}: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and your opponent guessed wrong, draw a card.
{8}, {T}: Everythingamajig deals 12 damage to target creature.

Evolving Wilds

{T}, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Chicken à la King

Whenever a 6 is rolled on a six-sided die, put a +1/+1 counter on each Bird. (You may roll dice only when instructed to.)
Tap an untapped Bird you control: Roll a six-sided die. (Like now.)

Izzet Guildgate

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}.

Blacker Lotus

{T}: Tear Blacker Lotus into pieces. Add four mana of any one color. Remove the pieces from the game.

Everflowing Chalice

Multikicker {2} (You may pay an additional {2} any number of times as you cast this spell.)
Everflowing Chalice enters with a charge counter on it for each time it was kicked.
{T}: Add {C} for each charge counter on Everflowing Chalice.

Temple of Epiphany

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom.)
{T}: Add {U} or {R}.

Sky Diamond

Hedron Archive

{T}: Add {C}{C}.
{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw two cards.

Sol Ring

Avatar of Me

This spell costs {1} more to cast for each ten years you've been alive.
Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½.
Avatar of Me is the color of your eyes.

Gleemax

You choose all targets for all spells and abilities.

Ambiguity

Whenever a player plays a spell that counters a spell that has been played or a player plays a spell that comes into play with counters, that player may counter the next spell played or put an additional counter on a permanent that has already been played, but not countered.

Sacrifice a land: You gain 2 life.
Sacrifice a creature: Add {C}{C}.
{2}, Discard a card: Search your library for a card that shares a complete word in its name with the name of the discarded card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.