189
11/23/2024
The Joke Writes Itself
Deck Size: 100
Commander
Est deck cost: $166.26
Salt sum: 42.23
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189
11/23/2024
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Commander

Qty: 1 Price: $0.99
Alexander Clamilton

Whenever you cast a wordy spell, scry 2. (A spell is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.) {1}{R}, {T}: Choose target creature you don't control. Reveal the top card of your library. Alexander Clamilton gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of lines of rules text of the revealed card. Alexander Clamilton fights that creature.

Creature
Alexander Clamilton (ulst) 10

Commander

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Artifact

Qty: 13 Price: $27.43
Accorder's Shield

Equipped creature gets +0/+3 and has vigilance. (Attacking doesn't cause it to tap.) Equip {3} ({3}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Artifact
Accorder's Shield (m14) 204
Basilisk Collar

Equipped creature has deathtouch and lifelink. (Any amount of damage it deals to a creature is enough to destroy it. Damage dealt by this creature also causes you to gain that much life.) Equip {2} ({2}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Artifact
Basilisk Collar (fdn) 669
Fiendlash

Equipped creature gets +2/+0 and has reach. Whenever equipped creature is dealt damage, it deals damage equal to its power to target player or planeswalker. Equip {2}{R}

Artifact
Fiendlash (cmm) 221
Key to the City

{T}, Discard a card: Up to one target creature can't be blocked this turn. Whenever this artifact becomes untapped, you may pay {2}. If you do, draw a card.

Artifact
Key to the City (c21) 248
Loxodon Warhammer

Equipped creature gets +3/+0 and has trample and lifelink. Equip {3}

Artifact
Loxodon Warhammer (9ed) 303
Magebane Armor

Equipped creature gets +2/+4 and loses flying. Prevent all noncombat damage that would be dealt to equipped creature. Equip {2} ({2}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Artifact
Magebane Armor (m10) 214
Mind Stone

{T}: Add {C}. {1}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.

Artifact
Mind Stone (plst) WTH-153
Patriar's Seal

{T}: Add one mana of any color. {1}, {T}: Untap target legendary creature you control.

Artifact
Patriar's Seal (clb) 332
Planar Atlas

Planar Atlas enters tapped. When Planar Atlas enters, you may look at the top four cards of your library. If you do, reveal up to one land card from among them, then put that card on top of your library and the rest on the bottom in a random order. {T}: Add {C}.

Artifact
Planar Atlas (j22) 51
Sol Ring

{T}: Add {C}{C}.

Artifact
Sol Ring (fdc) 2
Sting, the Glinting Dagger

Equipped creature gets +1/+1 and has haste. At the beginning of each combat, untap equipped creature. Equipped creature has first strike as long as it's blocking or blocked by a Goblin or Orc. Equip {2}

Artifact
Sting, the Glinting Dagger (ltr) 250
Thran Dynamo

{T}: Add {C}{C}{C}.

Artifact
Thran Dynamo (blc) 290
Vexing Arcanix

{3}, {T}: Target player chooses a card name, then reveals the top card of their library. If that card has the chosen name, that player puts it into their hand. Otherwise, they put it into their graveyard and this artifact deals 2 damage to them.

Artifact
Vexing Arcanix (8ed) 319

Artifact

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Creature

Qty: 13 Price: $27.41
Balduvian Berserker

Enlist (As this creature attacks, you may tap a nonattacking creature you control without summoning sickness. When you do, add its power to this creature's until end of turn.) When this creature dies, it deals damage equal to its power to any target.

Creature
Balduvian Berserker (dmu) 116
Brash Taunter

Indestructible Whenever this creature is dealt damage, it deals that much damage to target opponent. {2}{R}, {T}: This creature fights another target creature.

Creature
Brash Taunter (dsc) 161
Clever Conjurer

Mage Hand — {T}: Untap target permanent not named Clever Conjurer. Activate only as a sorcery.

Creature
Clever Conjurer (afr) 51
Etali, Primal Storm

Whenever Etali attacks, exile the top card of each player's library, then you may cast any number of spells from among those cards without paying their mana costs.

Creature
Etali, Primal Storm (fdn) 329
Giant Oyster

You may choose not to untap this creature during your untap step. {T}: For as long as this creature remains tapped, target tapped creature doesn't untap during its controller's untap step, and at the beginning of each of your draw steps, put a -1/-1 counter on that creature. When this creature leaves the battlefield or becomes untapped, remove all -1/-1 counters from the creature.

Creature
Giant Oyster (hml) 28
Hellkite Tyrant

Flying, trample Whenever Hellkite Tyrant deals combat damage to a player, gain control of all artifacts that player controls. At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control twenty or more artifacts, you win the game.

Creature
Hellkite Tyrant (rvr) 111
Monstrosity of the Lake

When Monstrosity of the Lake enters, you may pay {5}. If you do, tap all creatures your opponents control, then put a stun counter on each of those creatures. (If a permanent with a stun counter would become untapped, remove one from it instead.) Islandcycling {2} ({2}, Discard this card: Search your library for an Island card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.)

Creature
Monstrosity of the Lake (ltc) 22
Orcish Siegemaster

Trample Other Orcs and Goblins you control have trample. Whenever this creature attacks, it gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the greatest power among creatures you control.

Creature
Orcish Siegemaster (ltc) 33
River Song

Meet in Reverse — You draw cards from the bottom of your library rather than the top. Spoilers — Whenever an opponent scries, surveils, or searches their library, put a +1/+1 counter on River Song. Then River Song deals damage to that player equal to its power.

Creature
River Song (who) 152
The Reality Chip

You may look at the top card of your library any time. As long as The Reality Chip is attached to a creature, you may play lands and cast spells from the top of your library. Reconfigure {2}{U} ({2}{U}: Attach to target creature you control; or unattach from a creature. Reconfigure only as a sorcery. While attached, this isn't a creature.)

Creature Artifact
The Reality Chip (neo) 74
Tideforce Elemental

{U}, {T}: You may tap or untap another target creature. Landfall — Whenever a land you control enters, you may untap this creature.

Creature
Tideforce Elemental (wwk) 41
Toralf, God of Fury

Creature
Toralf, God of Fury // Toralf's Hammer (khm) 154Toralf, God of Fury // Toralf's Hammer (khm) 154
Urabrask the Hidden

Creatures you control have haste. Creatures your opponents control enter tapped.

Creature
Urabrask the Hidden (sld) 212

Creature

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Enchantment

Qty: 18 Price: $46.80
Aboshan's Desire

Enchant creature Enchanted creature has flying. Threshold — Enchanted creature has shroud as long as seven or more cards are in your graveyard. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities.)

Enchantment
Aboshan's Desire (ody) 59
Amphibian Downpour

Flash Storm (When you cast this spell, copy it for each spell cast before it this turn. You may choose new targets for the copies. Copies become tokens.) Enchant creature Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a blue Frog creature with base power and toughness 1/1.

Enchantment
Amphibian Downpour (mh3) 51
Behold the Unspeakable

Enchantment
Behold the Unspeakable // Vision of the Unspeakable (neo) 48Behold the Unspeakable // Vision of the Unspeakable (neo) 48
Blood Moon

Nonbasic lands are Mountains.

Enchantment
Blood Moon (plst) A25-122
Eaten by Piranhas

Flash (You may cast this spell any time you could cast an instant.) Enchant creature Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a black Skeleton creature with base power and toughness 1/1. (It loses all other colors, card types, and creature types.)

Enchantment
Eaten by Piranhas (fdn) 507
Exchange of Words

When this enchantment enters, choose two target creatures. For as long as this enchantment remains on the battlefield, exchange the text boxes of those creatures.

Enchantment
Exchange of Words (unf) 45
Fall of Cair Andros

Whenever a creature an opponent controls is dealt excess noncombat damage, amass Orcs X, where X is that excess damage. (Put X +1/+1 counters on an Army you control. It's also an Orc. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Orc Army creature token first.) {7}{R}: This enchantment deals 7 damage to target creature.

Enchantment
Fall of Cair Andros (ltr) 124
Grim Reaper's Sprint

Morbid — This spell costs {3} less to cast if a creature died this turn. Enchant creature When this Aura enters, untap each creature you control. If it's your main phase, there is an additional combat phase after this phase. Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and has haste.

Enchantment
Grim Reaper's Sprint (pip) 58
Heaven Sent

(As this Saga enters and after your draw step, add a lore counter. Sacrifice after III.) I, II — Investigate. III — This Saga deals 1 damage to each opponent. Then if an opponent has 0 or less life, draw seven cards. Otherwise, exile this Saga and you may cast it this turn.

Enchantment
Heaven Sent (who) 134
Imprisoned in the Moon

Enchant creature, land, or planeswalker Enchanted permanent is a colorless land with "{T}: Add {C}" and loses all other card types and abilities.

Enchantment
Imprisoned in the Moon (fdn) 156
Induced Amnesia

When this enchantment enters, target player exiles all cards from their hand face down, then draws that many cards. When this enchantment is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, return the exiled cards to their owner's hand.

Enchantment
Induced Amnesia (rix) 40
Kiora Bests the Sea God

(As this Saga enters and after your draw step, add a lore counter. Sacrifice after III.) I — Create an 8/8 blue Kraken creature token with hexproof. II — Tap all nonland permanents target opponent controls. They don't untap during their controller's next untap step. III — Gain control of target permanent an opponent controls. Untap it.

Enchantment
Kiora Bests the Sea God (thb) 52
Kumano Faces Kakkazan

Enchantment
Kumano Faces Kakkazan // Etching of Kumano (neo) 152Kumano Faces Kakkazan // Etching of Kumano (neo) 152
Pemmin's Aura

Enchant creature {U}: Untap enchanted creature. {U}: Enchanted creature gains flying until end of turn. {U}: Enchanted creature gains shroud until end of turn. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities.) {1}: Enchanted creature gets +1/-1 or -1/+1 until end of turn.

Enchantment
Pemmin's Aura (plst) SCG-45
Propaganda

Creatures can't attack you unless their controller pays {2} for each creature they control that's attacking you.

Enchantment
Propaganda (m3c) 191
Repercussion

Whenever a creature is dealt damage, this enchantment deals that much damage to that creature's controller.

Enchantment
Repercussion (wot) 78
Retreat to Coralhelm

Landfall — Whenever a land you control enters, choose one — • You may tap or untap target creature. • Scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom.)

Enchantment
Retreat to Coralhelm (dsc) 126
Security Bypass

Enchant creature As long as enchanted creature is attacking alone, it can't be blocked. Enchanted creature has "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, it connives." (Its controller draws a card, then discards a card. If they discarded a nonland card, they put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.)

Enchantment
Security Bypass (snc) 59

Enchantment

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Full Text Lands

Qty: 24 Price: $263.76
Island

({T}: Add {U}.)

Land
Island (sld) 255
Mountain

({T}: Add {R}.)

Land
Mountain (sld) 257

Full Text Lands

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Instant

Qty: 12 Price: $17.82
Artificial Evolution

Change the text of target spell or permanent by replacing all instances of one creature type with another. The new creature type can't be Wall. (This effect lasts indefinitely.)

Instant
Artificial Evolution (ons) 67
Big Score

As an additional cost to cast this spell, discard a card. Draw two cards and create two Treasure tokens. (They're artifacts with "{T}, Sacrifice this token: Add one mana of any color.")

Instant
Big Score (blc) 193
Chaos Warp

The owner of target permanent shuffles it into their library, then reveals the top card of their library. If it's a permanent card, they put it onto the battlefield.

Instant
Chaos Warp (2x2) 359
Crypsis

Target creature you control gains protection from creatures your opponents control until end of turn. Untap it.

Instant
Crypsis (bng) 34
Disallow

Counter target spell, activated ability, or triggered ability. (Mana abilities can't be targeted.)

Instant
Disallow (aer) 31
Fling

As an additional cost to cast this spell, sacrifice a creature. Fling deals damage equal to the sacrificed creature's power to any target.

Instant
Fling (j25) 553
Frantic Search

Draw two cards, then discard two cards. Untap up to three lands.

Instant
Frantic Search (woc) 93
Gift of Tusks

Until end of turn, target creature loses all abilities and becomes a green Elephant with base power and toughness 3/3.

Instant
Gift of Tusks (ogw) 55
Intellectual Offering

Choose an opponent. You and that player each draw three cards. Choose an opponent. Untap all nonland permanents you control and all nonland permanents that player controls.

Instant
Intellectual Offering (blc) 168
Mystic Confluence

Choose three. You may choose the same mode more than once. • Counter target spell unless its controller pays {3}. • Return target creature to its owner's hand. • Draw a card.

Instant
Mystic Confluence (cmm) 108
Savage Alliance

Escalate {1} (Pay this cost for each mode chosen beyond the first.) Choose one or more — • Creatures target player controls gain trample until end of turn. • Savage Alliance deals 2 damage to target creature. • Savage Alliance deals 1 damage to each creature target opponent controls.

Instant
Savage Alliance (emn) 140
Soul's Fire

Target creature you control deals damage equal to its power to any target.

Instant
Soul's Fire (cmr) 200

Instant

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Land

Qty: 9 Price: $8.25
Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Land
Command Tower (moc) 396
Evolving Wilds

{T}, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Land
Evolving Wilds (moc) 397
Exotic Orchard

{T}: Add one mana of any color that a land an opponent controls could produce.

Land
Exotic Orchard (moc) 398
Izzet Boilerworks

This land enters tapped. When this land enters, return a land you control to its owner's hand. {T}: Add {U}{R}.

Land
Izzet Boilerworks (2x2) 326
Library

This land enters tapped. {T}: Add {U} or {R}. {4}, {T}: Investigate. (Create a Clue token. It's an artifact with "{2}, Sacrifice this token: Draw a card.")

Land
Library (clu) 18
Myriad Landscape

This land enters tapped. {T}: Add {C}. {2}, {T}, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for up to two basic land cards that share a land type, put them onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Land
Myriad Landscape (moc) 416
Swiftwater Cliffs

This land enters tapped. When this land enters, you gain 1 life. {T}: Add {U} or {R}.

Land
Swiftwater Cliffs (mom) 273
Temple of Epiphany

This land enters tapped. When this land enters, scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom.) {T}: Add {U} or {R}.

Land
Temple of Epiphany (moc) 433
Terramorphic Expanse

{T}, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Land
Terramorphic Expanse (sld) 585

Land

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Planeswalker

Qty: 1 Price: $3.99
Dack Fayden

+1: Target player draws two cards, then discards two cards. −2: Gain control of target artifact. −6: You get an emblem with "Whenever you cast a spell that targets one or more permanents, gain control of those permanents."

Planeswalker
Dack Fayden (sld) 251

Planeswalker

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Sorcery

Qty: 9 Price: $33.57
Blasphemous Act

This spell costs {1} less to cast for each creature on the battlefield. Blasphemous Act deals 13 damage to each creature.

Sorcery
Blasphemous Act (dsc) 160
Chandra's Ignition

Target creature you control deals damage equal to its power to each other creature and each opponent.

Sorcery
Chandra's Ignition (lcc) 220
Cosmotronic Wave

Cosmotronic Wave deals 1 damage to each creature your opponents control. Creatures your opponents control can't block this turn.

Sorcery
Cosmotronic Wave (clu) 129
Dance with Calamity

Shuffle your library. As many times as you choose, you may exile the top card of your library. If the total mana value of the cards exiled this way is 13 or less, you may cast any number of spells from among those cards without paying their mana costs.

Sorcery
Dance with Calamity (moc) 29
Ponder

Look at the top three cards of your library, then put them back in any order. You may shuffle. Draw a card.

Sorcery
Ponder (dsc) 73
Prisoner's Dilemma

Each opponent secretly chooses silence or snitch, then the choices are revealed. If each opponent chose silence, Prisoner's Dilemma deals 4 damage to each of them. If each opponent chose snitch, Prisoner's Dilemma deals 8 damage to each of them. Otherwise, Prisoner's Dilemma deals 12 damage to each opponent who chose silence. Flashback {5}{R}{R}

Sorcery
Prisoner's Dilemma (mkc) 34
Raise the Palisade

Choose a creature type. Return all creatures that aren't of the chosen type to their owners' hands.

Sorcery
Raise the Palisade (ltc) 23
Thud

As an additional cost to cast this spell, sacrifice a creature. Thud deals damage equal to the sacrificed creature's power to any target.

Sorcery
Thud (m19) 163
Wheel of Misfortune

Each player secretly chooses a number 0 or greater, then all players reveal those numbers simultaneously and determine the highest and lowest numbers revealed this way. Wheel of Misfortune deals damage equal to the highest number to each player who chose that number. Each player who didn't choose the lowest number discards their hand, then draws seven cards.

Sorcery
Wheel of Misfortune (cmr) 211

Sorcery

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Maybeboard

Qty: 2 Price: $85.34
Izzet Guildgate

This land enters tapped. {T}: Add {U} or {R}.

Land
Izzet Guildgate (c19) 253
Sol Ring

{T}: Add {C}{C}.

Artifact
Sol Ring (cei) 270

Maybeboard

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Deck Info

Deck stats

0 pips - 0 cards
0 mana - 4 cards
37 pips - 30 cards
20 mana - 20 cards
0 pips - 0 cards
0 mana - 4 cards
36 pips - 28 cards
20 mana - 20 cards
0 pips - 0 cards
0 mana - 4 cards
0 pips - 0 cards
9 mana - 6 cards
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