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Commander
At the beginning of your end step, target opponent gains control of up to one target creature you control. Put two +1/+1 counters on it and tap it. It's goaded for the rest of the game and it gains "This creature can't be sacrificed." (It attacks each combat if able and attacks a player other than you if able.) Whenever a creature you own but don't control attacks, you draw a card.

Commander
Don't fucking touch me
Don't fucking touch me
Draw
At the beginning of your end step, if Kaito entered this turn, he phases out. +1: Draw a card. Then discard a card unless you attacked this turn. −2: Create a 1/1 blue Ninja creature token with "This token can't be blocked." −7: You get an emblem with "Whenever a creature you control deals combat damage to a player, search your library for a blue or black creature card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle."

Soulbond (You may pair this creature with another unpaired creature when either enters. They remain paired for as long as you control both of them.) As long as Tandem Lookout is paired with another creature, each of those creatures has "Whenever this creature deals damage to an opponent, draw a card."

Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, look at that many cards from the top of your library. You may exile a nonland card from among them. Put the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order. You may cast the exiled card without paying its mana cost. Equip {2}{U}

Draw
Land
Land
Protection
Protection
Ramp
Ramp
Real enemies stab you in the front
Whenever this creature attacks, you lose half your life, rounded up. Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, that player loses half their life, rounded up. Morph {3}{B}{B} (You may cast this card face down as a 2/2 creature for {3}. Turn it face up any time for its morph cost.)

Real enemies stab you in the front
Removal
Gift a tapped Fish (You may promise an opponent a gift as you cast this spell. If you do, they create a tapped 1/1 blue Fish creature token before its other effects.) Return target creature an opponent controls to its owner's hand. If the gift was promised, instead return target nonland permanent an opponent controls to its owner's hand.

Removal
Unblockable
This creature can't be blocked. Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, choose one that hasn't been chosen — • Put two +1/+1 counters on this creature. • Draw a card. • This creature becomes a copy of another target creature you control.

Unblockable
Maybeboard
Shadow (This creature can block or be blocked by only creatures with shadow.) If a card would be put into an opponent's graveyard from anywhere, instead exile it with a void counter on it. {T}, Sacrifice this creature: Choose an exiled card an opponent owns with a void counter on it. You may play it this turn without paying its mana cost.

Counter target spell. If the spell is countered this way, exile it with three time counters on it instead of putting it into its owner's graveyard. If it doesn't have suspend, it gains suspend. (At the beginning of its owner's upkeep, they remove a time counter. When the last is removed, they may play it without paying its mana cost. If it's a creature, it has haste.)

Look at the top five cards of your library. As many times as you choose, you may pay 1 life, put those cards on the bottom of your library in any order, then look at the top five cards of your library. Then shuffle and put the last cards you looked at this way on top in any order.

As an additional cost to cast this spell, you may exile any number of blue cards from your hand. This spell costs {2} less to cast for each card exiled this way. Up to X target creatures phase out. (While they're phased out, they're treated as though they don't exist. Each one phases in before its controller untaps during their next untap step.)

{T}: Add {U}. {2}{U}: Put an hour counter on this artifact. At the beginning of each upkeep, put an hour counter on this artifact. When the twelfth hour counter is put on this artifact, shuffle your hand and graveyard into your library, then draw seven cards. Exile this artifact.

Equipped creature gets +2/+2, has intimidate, and is a black Zombie. (A creature with intimidate can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or creatures that share a color with it.) Whenever a nontoken creature is put into your graveyard from the battlefield, you may pay {4}. If you do, return that card to the battlefield and attach this Equipment to it. Equip {4}

Suspend 2—{1}{B} (Rather than cast this card from your hand, pay {1}{B} and exile it with two time counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter. When the last is removed, you may cast it without paying its mana cost.) Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle.

{T}: Add {C}. Put a point counter on this artifact. Whenever a creature deals combat damage to you, remove a point counter from this artifact. Whenever a creature you control deals combat damage to an opponent, put a point counter on this artifact. Then if it has ten or more point counters on it, remove them all and that player loses the game.

You may look at the top card of your library any time. As long as The Reality Chip is attached to a creature, you may play lands and cast spells from the top of your library. Reconfigure {2}{U} ({2}{U}: Attach to target creature you control; or unattach from a creature. Reconfigure only as a sorcery. While attached, this isn't a creature.)
