Socketed Sprocketer

{T}: Uninstall all results from Socketed Sprocketer, then roll a six-sided die. Install the result on Socketed Sprocketer. (Put the die on this card.)
You may uninstall a result from Socketed Sprocketer to use it for a die you rolled.
Uninstall a 6 from Socketed Sprocketer: Draw a card.

AWOL

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Chaos Confetti

{4}, {T}: Tear Chaos Confetti into pieces. Throw the pieces onto the battlefield from a distance of at least five feet. Destroy each permanent that a piece touches. Remove the pieces from the game.

Time Out

Roll a six-sided die. Put target nonland permanent into its owner's library just beneath the top X cards of that library, where X is the result.

Princess Twilight Sparkle

Flying
Other Alicorns, Horses, Pegasi, Ponies, and Unicorns you control get +1/+1.
{W}{U}{B}{R}{G}: If you control Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity, everypony wins the game.

Whenever a creature deals damage to a player, that player may say "Ow" once for each permanent named Ow. If the player doesn't, Ow deals 1 damage to them.

Despondent Killbot

Pinkie Pie

Whenever you cast a spell with a smile in its art, create a tapped Treasure token.
Everypony's Invited — Your party consists of each creature you control, and your party is always full.

GO TO JAIL

When GO TO JAIL enters, exile target creature an opponent controls until GO TO JAIL leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of the upkeep of the exiled card's owner, that player rolls two six-sided dice. If they roll doubles, sacrifice GO TO JAIL.

Wandering Fumarole

Wandering Fumarole enters tapped.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}.
{2}{U}{R}: Until end of turn, Wandering Fumarole becomes a 1/4 blue and red Elemental creature with "{0}: Switch this creature's power and toughness until end of turn." It's still a land.

Better Than One

A person outside the game becomes your teammate. (Choose any number of cards in your hand, on top of your library, or on the battlefield under your control. Those cards become your teammate's hand, library, and permanents, respectively.)

Spell Counter

Counter target spell.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "spell" or "counter," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Spell Counter from your graveyard to your hand.

B-I-N-G-O

Trample
Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value.
B-I-N-G-O gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.

Shambling Vent

Shambling Vent enters tapped.
{T}: Add {W} or {B}.
{1}{W}{B}: Shambling Vent becomes a 2/3 white and black Elemental creature with lifelink until end of turn. It's still a land.

Ashnod's Coupon

{T}, Sacrifice Ashnod's Coupon: Target player gets you target drink. You pay any costs for the drink.

Plains

Nomad Outpost

Nomad Outpost enters tapped.
{T}: Add {R}, {W}, or {B}.

Opulent Palace

Opulent Palace enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B}, {G}, or {U}.

Garbage Elemental

Battle cry (Whenever this creature attacks, each other attacking creature gets +1/+0 until end of turn.)
When Garbage Elemental enters, roll two six-sided dice. Create a number of 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens equal to the difference between those results.

Keeper of the Sacred Word

As Keeper of the Sacred Word enters, choose a word.
Whenever an opponent says the chosen word, Keeper of the Sacred Word gets +3/+3 until end of turn.

Terramorphic Expanse

{T}, Sacrifice Terramorphic Expanse: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Hydradoodle

As Hydradoodle enters, roll X six-sided dice. Hydradoodle enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the total of those results.
Reach, trample

Pippa, Duchess of Dice

{2}{G}, {T}: Roll a six-sided die. It becomes a green Die creature token with power and toughness each equal to its result.
{2}{U}, {T}: Reroll any die. (Activate only any time it makes sense.)

Goblin Tutor

Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
2 — A card named Goblin Tutor
3 — An enchantment
4 — An artifact
5 — A creature
6 — An instant or sorcery

Lumbering Falls

Lumbering Falls enters tapped.
{T}: Add {G} or {U}.
{2}{G}{U}: Lumbering Falls becomes a 3/3 green and blue Elemental creature with hexproof until end of turn. It's still a land.

Squirrel-Powered Scheme

Increase the result of each die you roll by 2.

Savage Lands

Savage Lands enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B}, {R}, or {G}.

Rarity

Rare and mythic rare spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
{1}, {T}, Reveal a My Little Pony® toy you own: Until end of turn, another target creature gains protection from each color in that toy's coat, mane, and outfit.

Who // What // When // Where // Why

Island

Forest

Mother of Goons

Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, sacrifice Mother of Goons unless you insult that creature.

Hot Fix

You have ten seconds to look at and rearrange the cards in your library. At the end of those ten seconds, if you're touching one or more of those cards, shuffle.

The Cheese Stands Alone

When you control no permanents other than The Cheese Stands Alone and have no cards in hand, you win the game.

Once More with Feeling

Exile all permanents and all cards from all graveyards. Each player shuffles their hand into their library, then draws seven cards. Each player's life total becomes 10. Exile Once More with Feeling.
DCI ruling — A deck can have only one card named Once More with Feeling.

Fluttershy

Defender, flying
{1}, {T}: Put a +1/+1 counter on each creature with a tail target player controls. Stare down up to one target creature until end of turn. (It can't attack or block as long as you're looking directly at it.)

Censorship

As Censorship enters, choose a word.
Whenever a player says the chosen word, Censorship deals 2 damage to that player.

Needle Spires

Needle Spires enters tapped.
{T}: Add {R} or {W}.
{2}{R}{W}: Needle Spires becomes a 2/1 red and white Elemental creature with double strike until end of turn. It's still a land.

Delighted Killbot

Sword of Dungeons & Dragons

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from Rogues and from Clerics.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create a 4/4 gold Dragon creature token with flying and roll a d20 (a twenty-sided die). If you roll a 20, repeat this process.
Equip {2}

Discord, Lord of Disharmony

Flying
At the beginning of your end step, choose a random nonland Magic card name. Until your next end step, you may cast a copy of a spell with that name, and mana of any type can be spent to cast it. If you cast a spell this way, copy this ability if Discord is on the battlefield.

Cheatyface

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying

Enraged Killbot

Applejack

Family Gathering — At the beginning of your end step, put a toy you own onto the battlefield as a 2/2 creature token with that toy's name, colors, and creature types. If the toy has wings, the token has flying. If the toy has a horn, scry 2. If it has neither, create a Food token.

Animate Library

Enchant your library
Enchanted library is an artifact creature on the battlefield with power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It's still a library.
If enchanted library would leave the battlefield, exile Animate Library instead.

Poultrygeist

Flying
Whenever a creature dies, you may roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, sacrifice Poultrygeist. Otherwise, put a +1/+1 counter on Poultrygeist.

Crumbling Necropolis

Crumbling Necropolis enters tapped.
{T}: Add {U}, {B}, or {R}.

More or Less

Add or subtract 1 or one from a number or number word on target spell or permanent until end of turn.

Chittering Doom

Whenever you roll a 4 or higher on a die, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Rainbow Dash

Flying, haste
Whenever a creature you control with flying and/or haste attacks, you get 20% cooler. (You start at 0% coolness.)
Sonic Rainboom — {T}: If you're at least 100% cool, add {W}{U}{B}{R}{G}, draw a card, and reset your coolness.

Curious Killbot

Princess Luna

Flying
When this creature transforms into Princess Luna, choose up to six cards you own from outside the game with a moon in their art, then exile those cards. As long as those cards remain exiled, you may cast them, and your friends may cast them with your permission. (Gifts are appreciated.)

Nightmare Moon

Flying
As long as it's nighttime, Nightmare Moon gets +2/+2 and has menace.
{6}: Transform Nightmare Moon. Anypony may activate this ability or help pay the cost. When they do, they become your friend.

Nightmare Moon // Princess Luna

Yet Another Aether Vortex

All creatures have haste.
Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.
Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.

Arcane Sanctum

Arcane Sanctum enters tapped.
{T}: Add {W}, {U}, or {B}.

Granny's Payback

Name Dropping

Gotcha — If an opponent says a word that's in the name of a card in your graveyard, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return that card to your hand.

Lavaclaw Reaches

Lavaclaw Reaches enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.
{1}{B}{R}: Until end of turn, Lavaclaw Reaches becomes a 2/2 black and red Elemental creature with "{X}: This creature gets +X/+0 until end of turn." It's still a land.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.
{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.

Now I Know My ABC's

At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control permanents with names that include all twenty-six letters of the English alphabet, you win the game.

Land Aid '04

Search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. If you sang a song the whole time you were searching and shuffling, you may untap that land.

Sandsteppe Citadel

Sandsteppe Citadel enters tapped.
{T}: Add {W}, {B}, or {G}.

Krazy Kow

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. If you a roll a 1, sacrifice Krazy Kow and it deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.

Creeping Tar Pit

Creeping Tar Pit enters tapped.
{T}: Add {U} or {B}.
{1}{U}{B}: Creeping Tar Pit becomes a 3/2 blue and black Elemental creature until end of turn and can't be blocked this turn. It's still a land.

Hissing Quagmire

Hissing Quagmire enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B} or {G}.
{1}{B}{G}: Hissing Quagmire becomes a 2/2 black and green Elemental creature with deathtouch until end of turn. It's still a land.

Jumbo Imp

Flying
As Jumbo Imp enters, roll a six-sided die. Jumbo Imp enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.
At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die and put a number of +1/+1 counters on Jumbo Imp equal to the result.
At the beginning of your end step, roll a six-sided die and remove a number of +1/+1 counters from Jumbo Imp equal to the result.

Seaside Citadel

Seaside Citadel enters tapped.
{T}: Add {G}, {W}, or {U}.

Celestial Colonnade

Celestial Colonnade enters tapped.
{T}: Add {W} or {U}.
{3}{W}{U}: Until end of turn, Celestial Colonnade becomes a 4/4 white and blue Elemental creature with flying and vigilance. It's still a land.

Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Clam-I-Am

If you roll a 3 on a six-sided die, you may reroll that die.

Stirring Wildwood

Stirring Wildwood enters tapped.
{T}: Add {G} or {W}.
{1}{G}{W}: Until end of turn, Stirring Wildwood becomes a 3/4 green and white Elemental creature with reach. It's still a land.

Elvish Impersonators

As Elvish Impersonators enters, roll a six-sided die twice. Its base power becomes the first result and its base toughness becomes the second result.

Hammer Jammer

As Hammer Jammer enters, roll a six-sided die. Hammer Jammer enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.
Whenever you roll a die, remove all +1/+1 counters from Hammer Jammer, then put a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.

Mountain

Reliquary Tower

You have no maximum hand size.
{T}: Add {C}.

Mad Science Fair Project

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or lower, target player adds {C}. Otherwise, that player adds one mana of any color they choose.

Inhumaniac

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or 4, put a +1/+1 counter on Inhumaniac. On a 5 or higher, put two +1/+1 counters on it. On a 1, remove all +1/+1 counters from Inhumaniac.

Baron Von Count

Baron Von Count enters with a doom counter on "5."
Whenever you cast a spell with the indicated numeral in its mana cost, text box, power, or toughness, move the doom counter one numeral to the left.
When the doom counter moves from "1," destroy target player and put that doom counter on "5."

Swamp

Urza, Academy Headmaster

+1: Head to AskUrza.com and click +1.
−1: Head to AskUrza.com and click -1.
−6: Head to AskUrza.com and click -6.

The Big Idea

{2}{B/R}{B/R}, {T}: Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Brainiac creature tokens equal to the result.
Tap three untapped Brainiacs you control: The next time you would roll a six-sided die, instead roll two six-sided dice and use the total of those results.

_____

{1}: This card's name becomes the card name of your choice. Activate anywhere, anytime.

Evolving Wilds

{T}, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Growth Spurt

Roll a six-sided die. Target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.

Jack-in-the-Mox

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. This ability has the indicated effect.
1 — Sacrifice Jack-in-the-Mox and you lose 5 life.
2 — Add {W}.
3 — Add {U}.
4 — Add {B}.
5 — Add {R}.
6 — Add {G}.

Mystic Monastery

Mystic Monastery enters tapped.
{T}: Add {U}, {R}, or {W}.

Krark's Other Thumb

If you would roll a die, instead roll two of those dice and ignore one of those results.

Chicken Egg

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 6, sacrifice Chicken Egg and create a 4/4 red Giant Bird creature token.

Raging Ravine

Raging Ravine enters tapped.
{T}: Add {R} or {G}.
{2}{R}{G}: Until end of turn, Raging Ravine becomes a 3/3 red and green Elemental creature with "Whenever this creature attacks, put a +1/+1 counter on it." It's still a land.

Frontier Bivouac

Frontier Bivouac enters tapped.
{T}: Add {G}, {U}, or {R}.

Strategy, Schmategy

Roll a six-sided die. Strategy, Schmategy has the indicated effect.
1 — Do nothing.
2 — Destroy all artifacts.
3 — Destroy all lands.
4 — Strategy, Schmategy deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.
5 — Each player discards their hand and draws seven cards.
6 — Repeat this process two more times.

As Luck Would Have It

Hexproof
Whenever you roll a die, put a number of luck counters on As Luck Would Have It equal to the result. Then if there are 100 or more luck counters on As Luck Would Have It, you win the game. (Count both rolls if you reroll a die.)