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Major League Dick Move
Flying When this creature enters, creatures your opponents control get -2/-2 until end of turn. Unearth {3}{B}{B} ({3}{B}{B}: Return this card from your graveyard to the battlefield. It gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step or if it would leave the battlefield. Unearth only as a sorcery.)

Major League Dick Move
Theft
Theft
Counterspell
Until end of turn, target creature you control gains "When this creature dies, return it to the battlefield tapped under its owner's control, then create a Wicked Role token attached to it." (Enchanted creature gets +1/+1. When this token is put into a graveyard, each opponent loses 1 life.)

Counter target spell. Choose 1, 2, or 3 at random. Its controller mills that many cards, then exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card with a different name than that spell. They may cast that card without paying its mana cost. Then they put the exiled cards on the bottom of their library in a random order.

Counterspell
Ramp
+1: Exile the top card of your library. You may cast that card. If you don't, Chandra deals 2 damage to each opponent. +1: Add {R}{R}. −3: Chandra deals 4 damage to target creature. −7: You get an emblem with "Whenever you cast a spell, this emblem deals 5 damage to any target."

Ramp
Tokens
{T}: Add {B}. Whenever a creature you control dies, put a corpse counter on this artifact. {4}{B}{B}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token with decayed for each corpse counter on this artifact. (A creature with decayed can't block. When it attacks, sacrifice it at end of combat.)

At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 1 life and amass Zombies 1. (Put a +1/+1 counter on an Army you control. It's also a Zombie. If you don't control an Army, create a 0/0 black Zombie Army creature token first.) Whenever a Zombie token you control with power 6 or greater attacks, it gains lifelink until end of turn.

Fabricate 3 (When this creature enters, put three +1/+1 counters on it or create three 1/1 colorless Servo artifact creature tokens.) Whenever an artifact you control is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, target opponent loses life equal to this creature's power.

Create X 2/2 black Zombie Berserker creature tokens, where X is the number of nontoken creatures that died this turn. Foretell {B} (During your turn, you may pay {2} and exile this card from your hand face down. Cast it on a later turn for its foretell cost.)

Deathtouch When this creature enters, you may pay {2}{B} any number of times. When you pay this cost one or more times, put that many +1/+1 counters on this creature, then create twice that many 2/2 black Zombie creature tokens with decayed. (A creature with decayed can't block. When it attacks, sacrifice it at end of combat.)

At the beginning of combat on your turn, put an oil counter on this artifact, then create an X/1 red Phyrexian Horror creature token with trample and haste, where X is the number of oil counters on this artifact. Sacrifice that token at the beginning of the next end step.

When this creature enters, create a 0/1 white Goat creature token. Sacrifice another creature: Scry 1. Escape—{3}{B}{B}, Exile four other cards from your graveyard. (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its escape cost.) This creature escapes with two +1/+1 counters on it.

Tokens
Draw
At the beginning of combat on your turn, create a 2/1 red Elemental creature token with trample and haste. Sacrifice it at the beginning of the next end step. {T}: Search your library for a card, put it into your hand, then shuffle. Activate only if five or more creatures died this turn.

Draw
Recursion
Enchant creature card in a graveyard When this Aura enters, if it's on the battlefield, it loses "enchant creature card in a graveyard" and gains "enchant creature put onto the battlefield with this Aura." Return enchanted creature card to the battlefield under your control and attach this Aura to it. When this Aura leaves the battlefield, that creature's controller sacrifices it. Enchanted creature gets -1/-0.

When Rakdos Joins Up enters, return target creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield with two additional +1/+1 counters on it. Whenever a legendary creature you control dies, Rakdos Joins Up deals damage equal to that creature's power to target opponent.

Recursion
Land
Land
Removal
Choose one. If you control a commander as you cast this spell, you may choose both instead. • Each opponent sacrifices a creature they control with the greatest power. • Exile all opponents' graveyards, then create X 0/1 black Thrull creature tokens, where X is the greatest power among creature cards exiled this way.

Removal
Maybeboard
(Gain the next level as a sorcery to add its ability.) When this Class enters, create two tapped Treasure tokens. {1}{R}: Level 2 Treasures you control have "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add two mana of any one color." {4}{R}: Level 3 Whenever you cast a spell, if mana from a Treasure was spent to cast it, this Class deals damage equal to that spell's mana value to each opponent.

Whenever a creature you control dies, draw a card. +1: Create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token. −4: Each player sacrifices two creatures of their choice. −9: Each opponent chooses a permanent they control of each permanent type and sacrifices the rest.

Whenever a creature you control dies, put a loyalty counter on Lolth. 0: You draw a card and you lose 1 life. −3: Create two 2/1 black Spider creature tokens with menace and reach. −8: You get an emblem with "Whenever an opponent is dealt combat damage by one or more creatures you control, if that player lost less than 8 life this turn, they lose life equal to the difference."

When this creature enters, create four 1/1 colorless Myr artifact creature tokens. Whenever this creature attacks, you may tap X untapped Myr you control. If you do, this creature gets +X/+0 until end of turn and deals X damage to the player or planeswalker it's attacking.

When this creature dies, create three 3/3 colorless Phyrexian Golem artifact creature tokens. Encore {12} ({12}, Exile this card from your graveyard: For each opponent, create a token copy that attacks that opponent this turn if able. They gain haste. Sacrifice them at the beginning of the next end step. Activate only as a sorcery.)

Flying, trample Whenever you sacrifice another creature, exile cards equal to its mana value from the top of target player's library. Until your next end step, you may play those cards, and mana of any type can be spent to cast those spells. Sacrifice another creature: Rakdos gains indestructible until end of turn. Tap it. Activate only once each turn.

Roiling Horror's power and toughness are each equal to your life total minus the life total of an opponent with the most life. Suspend X—{X}{B}{B}{B}. X can't be 0. (Rather than cast this card from your hand, you may pay {X}{B}{B}{B} and exile it with X time counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter. When the last is removed, you may cast it without paying its mana cost. It has haste.) Whenever a time counter is removed from this card while it's exiled, target player loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.

Intimidate (This creature can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or creatures that share a color with it.) When this creature enters, for each opponent, you may put up to one target creature card from that player's graveyard onto the battlefield under your control.

Swampwalk (This creature can't be blocked as long as defending player controls a Swamp.) At the beginning of your upkeep, return target creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield. At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, that player sacrifices a creature of their choice.

+2: Create two 0/1 black Thrull creature tokens. +1: You may sacrifice another creature or planeswalker. If you do, draw two cards, then draw another card if the sacrificed permanent was a commander. −10: Gain control of all commanders. Put all commanders from the command zone onto the battlefield under your control. Tevesh Szat, Doom of Fools can be your commander. Partner

Whenever another artifact or creature you control is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, put an oil counter on this artifact. {2}{B}, {T}, Remove four oil counters from this artifact: Return target creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield. Activate only as a sorcery.

Maybeboard
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