Can't Quite Recall

Forbidden (This card can't be in your starting deck. Yes, you read that right. You need to figure out a way to get it into the game without it being in your deck.)
Target player draws three cards.

Necropotence

Skip your draw step.
Whenever you discard a card, exile that card from your graveyard.
Pay 1 life: Exile the top card of your library face down. Put that card into your hand at the beginning of your next end step.

Chaos Orb

{1}, {T}: If this artifact is on the battlefield, flip it onto the battlefield from a height of at least one foot. If this artifact turns over completely at least once during the flip, destroy all nontoken permanents it touches. Then destroy this artifact.

Bar Entry

Choose one —
• Destroy target creature with power 4 or greater.
• Destroy target creature with any part of its head higher than the bar. (Align the tops of both cards to check.)

Gimme Five

You gain 1 life for each person who high-fives you in the next thirty seconds. Each player in an Un-game who high-fives you gains 1 life. (Offer high fives. Don't hit people.)

Kaya, Ghost Haunter

0: Exile Kaya, Ghost Haunter haunting target creature for as long as that creature remains on the battlefield.
−1: You get an emblem with, "At the beginning of your upkeep, this emblem deals 3 damage to the owner of target haunted creature."
−2: You get an emblem with, "At the beginning of your upkeep, gain control of target haunted creature for as long as it remains haunted."

Mother of Goons

Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, sacrifice this creature unless you insult that creature.

Buried Ogre

You may begin the game with Buried Ogre in your graveyard. If you do, you lose 1 life.

Duelists' Convocation International

When Duelists' Convocation International enters the battlefield, choose a 10-digit number at random and write it down.
Whenever you play a land or cast a spell, if it shares a mana value with one or more uncrossed digits in the chosen number, cross out one of those digits and draw a card. Then if all ten digits are crossed out, you win the game.

Euru, Acorn Scrounger

When Euru, Acorn Scrounger enters, you may forage. When you do, conjure a card named Chitterspitter onto the battlefield.
Whenever one or more Squirrels you control deal combat damage to a player, you may sacrifice a token. If you do, put an acorn counter on each permanent you control named Chitterspitter.

Five Kids in a Trenchcoat

Five Kids in a Trenchcoat counts as five creatures for spells and effects that count the number of creatures you control.

B-I-N-G-O

Trample
Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value.
This creature gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.

Frankie Peanuts

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may ask target player a yes-or-no question. If you do, that player answers the question truthfully and abides by that answer if able until end of turn.

Helix Pinnacle

Shroud (This enchantment can't be the target of spells or abilities.)
{X}: Put X tower counters on this enchantment.
At the beginning of your upkeep, if there are 100 or more tower counters on this enchantment, you win the game.

The Marvelous Scientist

As this creature enters the battlefield, choose cosplay or science.
• Cosplay — Whenever you cast a creature or planeswalker spell, this creature's base power and toughness each become equal to that spell's mana value until end of turn.
• Science — Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell, this creature deals 2 damage to each opponent.

Mothers Yamazaki

Partner with itself (When this enters, target player may put Mothers Yamazaki into their hand from their library, then shuffle. A Commander deck can include two of this card, and they can be your commanders.)
As long as you control exactly two permanents named Mothers Yamazaki, the "legend rule" doesn't apply to them, and Samurai you control get +2/+2 and have vigilance and haste.

Squirrel Dealer

When this creature enters, ask a person outside the game "Do you like Squirrels?" If they do, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

The Chaos Keeper

The Chaos Keeper enters with a sealed Magic booster pack of your choice under it. (You provide a new pack each time.)
Whenever The Chaos Keeper deals combat damage to a player, reveal its cards and put one of them into your hand. (Don't open the booster pack until the first time this ability resolves.)

Red Herring

{1}{U}: Exchange Red Herring from your hand with a permanent you control on the battlefield or a spell you control on the stack. If that permanent or spell was the target of a spell or ability, change that target to Red Herring.

Opening Ceremony

Add {W}{U}{B}{R}{G}{C}. You may open a sealed Magic booster pack. Until end of turn, you may cast spells from among the cards in that booster pack.

Avacyn and Griselbrand

Flying, vigilance, lifelink
Pay 8 life: Each creature you control gains indestructible until end of turn. Then, draw a card for each creature you control.

Hurloon Wrangler

Denimwalk (This creature can't be blocked as long as defending player is wearing denim.)

The Sprinkler of Stardust

Whenever The Sprinkler of Stardust attacks, look at the top six cards of your library. You may put an instant or sorcery card from among them onto the battlefield tapped and attacking. It becomes a 2/2 creature with "Whenever this deals combat damage to an opponent, cast a copy of this card." (The 2/2 creature stays on the battlefield.) Put the rest of the cards on the bottom of your library in a random order.

Devil K. Nevil

Haste
When Devil K. Nevil enters, jump it over any number of creatures. If it clears those creatures, put that many +1/+1 counters on it. (You can see a jumping demonstration at DevilKNevil.com.)

Blast from the Past

Madness {R}, cycling {1}{R}, kicker {2}{R}, flashback {3}{R}, buyback {4}{R}
Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to any target. If this spell was kicked, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token.

Druid's Call

Enchant creature
Whenever enchanted creature is dealt damage, its controller creates that many 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens.

Cheatyface

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying

Take a Trip to...

Draw two cards. This spell deals 2 damage to each opponent. (Then exile this card. You may play the land later from exile.)

Value Town

Value Town enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}.

Value Town // Take a Trip to...

It Came from Planet Glurg

You may have It Came from Planet Glurg enter as a copy of X different creatures on the battlefield. (It has their total power, total toughness, combined mana costs, all text boxes, names, art, and so on.)

Gobland

(Gobland isn't a spell, it's affected by summoning sickness, and it has "{T}: Add {R}.")
Gobland can't block.

Hazmat Suit (Used)

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+1 and has menace.
Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches enchanted creature, that player loses 2 life.

Trash Panda

When Trash Panda enters the battlefield, exile target opponent's graveyard. Create a Food token for each creature card exiled this way.
When Trash Panda dies, put it into target opponent's graveyard.
Opponent dredge 4 (If an opponent would draw a card, instead you may have them mill exactly four cards and put this card into their hand from their graveyard.)

First Stage of Magic Design

You gain 3 life. Draw three cards. Add {B}{B}{B}. This spell deals 3 damage to any target. Target creature gets +3/+3 until end of turn.

The Judge of Height

Trample
The Judge of Height gets +1/+0 for each creature on the battlefield that it's taller than. (A creature's height is equal to its toughness plus its mana value.)

Shellephant

{0}: Choose one. You may activate this ability while Shellephant is in any zone.
• Shellephant has base power and toughness 1/4.
• Shellephant has base power and toughness 3/3.

Urza, Academy Headmaster

+1: Head to AskUrza.com and click +1.
−1: Head to AskUrza.com and click -1.
−6: Head to AskUrza.com and click -6.

Colossal Dreadmaw and Storm Crow

Don't Worry About It

Enchant card in your hand (This Aura remains on the battlefield. If you play enchanted card or it otherwise leaves your hand, put this Aura into the graveyard.)
Enchanted card costs {1} less to cast.
When you cast enchanted card, copy it.

Crow Storm

Create a 1/2 blue Bird creature token with flying named Storm Crow.
Storm (When you cast this spell, copy it for each spell cast before it this turn.)

Command the Chaff

Look at target opponent's sideboard. You may cast a card from that sideboard without paying its mana cost.
Exile Command the Chaff.

Stop That

Target player discards a card.
Gotcha — If an opponent audibly flicks the cards in their hand, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return this card from your graveyard to your hand.

Lutri, Pauper Otter

Companion — Your starting deck contains no cards with a silver, gold, orange, or purple expansion symbol. (If this card is your chosen companion, you may put it into your hand from outside the game for {3} as a sorcery.)
When Lutri, Pauper Otter enters the battlefield, discard your hand, then draw three cards.

Seventh Stage of Magic Design

Double all your spells and abilities. (All spells and abilities cast, activated, or triggered by you are copied. Mana abilities produce twice as much mana.)

How to Keep an Izzet Mage Busy

Return How to Keep an Izzet Mage Busy to its owner's hand.

Booster Tutor

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of them into your hand. (Remove that card from your deck before beginning a new game.)

Nut Collector

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.
Threshold — All Squirrels get +2/+2 as long as there are seven or more cards in your graveyard.

_____

{1}: This card's name becomes the card name of your choice. Activate anywhere, anytime.

Graveyard Dig

Return up to two target [black or green] creature cards from your graveyard to your hand.
You may cast this spell for {2}{B/G}{B/G}. If you do, ignore the bracketed text.

Slumbering Waterways

Slumbering Waterways enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {G} or {U}.
Flying, vigilance, trample

Mistakes Were Made

Destroy target artifact or enchantment. Create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token for each fire extinguisher you can see from your seat.

Imaginary Friends

Create three 0/0 white Spirit creature tokens with flying.

Friarball

Create a 2/2 white Monk creature token.
Coststorm (When you cast this spell, copy it for each different mana value among other spells and lands you've played this turn.)

Lazotep Archway

Lazotep Archway enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {W} or {B}.
Eternalize {3}{W}{B} ({3}{W}{B}, Exile this card from your graveyard: Create a token that's a copy of it, except it's a 4/4 black Zombie creature and loses all other card types. Eternalize only as a sorcery. And don't forget it still enters tapped!)

GO TO JAIL

When this enchantment enters, exile target creature an opponent controls until this enchantment leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of the upkeep of the exiled card's owner, that player rolls two six-sided dice. If they roll doubles, sacrifice this enchantment.

Form of the Squirrel

As this enchantment enters, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token. You lose the game when that creature leaves the battlefield.
Creatures can't attack you.
You have shroud.
You can't cast spells.

Form of the Mulldrifter

When Form of the Mulldrifter enters, draw two cards.
You may cast creature cards from your hand as though they were the card Mulldrifter. (You can still evoke this way. They're Mulldrifters.)

Valley Rotcaller

Menace
Whenever this creature attacks, each opponent loses X life and you gain X life, where X is the number of other Squirrels, Bats, Lizards, and Rats you control.

Pie-Eating Contest

As an additional cost to cast this spell, gobble X. (Each time you gobble, take a bite of food or sacrifice a Food token.)
X target creatures you control each get +2/+2 and gain trample until end of turn.

Ragavan, Nimble Pilferer

Whenever Ragavan deals combat damage to a player, create a Treasure token and exile the top card of that player's library. Until end of turn, you may cast that card.
Dash {1}{R} (You may cast this spell for its dash cost. If you do, it gains haste, and it's returned from the battlefield to its owner's hand at the beginning of the next end step.)

Animate Graveyard

Enchant your graveyard
Enchanted graveyard is a creature on the battlefield with base power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It has the text boxes of all creature cards in it. It's still a graveyard.
If enchanted graveyard would leave the battlefield, instead exile this Aura.

Experiment Five

{1}{Z}: Put a +1/+2 counter on Experiment Five. ({Z} is paid with one mana from any source that could produce two or more colors of mana.)

Killer Cosplay

Whenever this Equipment becomes attached to a creature, choose a creature card name with an identical mana cost. That creature becomes a copy of the card with the chosen name until this Equipment becomes unattached from it.
Equip {3}

Cheap Ass

Pietra, Crafter of Clowns

Haste
Robots you control get +1/+1.
{R}{W}, {T}, Tell a joke you haven't told this game to someone outside the game: Create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token. If that person laughed, the token gains haste until end of turn.

Sole Performer

{T}: Add {T}{T}. Activate only once each turn. (While activating an ability, use {T} rather than tapping the permanent to pay for {T}.)

Noxious Bayou

{T}: Add {B} or {G}. You get a poison counter.

Spike, Tournament Grinder

({B/P} can be paid with either {B} or 2 life.)
{B/P}{B/P}{B/P}{B/P}: Reveal a card you own from outside the game that has been banned or restricted in a Constructed format and put it into your hand.

Infinity Elemental

Clocknapper

When this creature enters, choose beginning phase, first main phase, combat phase, postcombat main phase, or ending phase. Steal that phase from target player during their next turn. (That phase occurs as though it's your turn instead.)

Spelling Bee

Flying, deathtouch
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, that player looks at the top card of your library and chooses a word on that card. You spell that word. If you spell it correctly, draw a card. Otherwise, scry 1.

Alexander Clamilton

Whenever you cast a wordy spell, scry 2. (A spell is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)
{1}{R}, {T}: Choose target creature you don't control. Reveal the top card of your library. Alexander Clamilton gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of lines of rules text of the revealed card. Alexander Clamilton fights that creature.

Squirrel Farm

{1}{G}: Reveal a card in your hand, covering the artist credit. Target opponent guesses the artist. If they guess wrong, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

One with Death

Bombardment

Until end of turn, cards you own that aren't on the battlefield lose all card types, costs, names, and abilities and become red sorceries named Missile that cost {R} with "Missile deals 2 damage to any target."

True-Name Nemesis

As this creature enters, choose a player.
This creature has protection from the chosen player.

Form of the Approach of the Second Sun

When this enchantment enters, you gain 7 life. You become a card until you leave your library or that library is shuffled. Put yourself seventh from the top, balancing the cards on top of you on your head.
When you draw yourself, you win the game.
When one or more cards fall off your head, exile them and all cards on your head, then sacrifice this enchantment.

Emrakul and Chatterfang

Devoid (This card has no color.)
Flying, Trample, Forestwalk, protection from non-Squirrels
When you cast Emrakul and Chatterfang, create 15 1/1 green Eldrazi Squirrel Scion creature tokens with "Sacrifice this creature: Add {G} or {B}".

Chatterstorm and Awaken the Woods

Create a 1/1 green Forest Dryad Squirrel land creature token. (It's affected by summoning sickness.)
Storm (When you cast this spell, copy it for each spell cast before it this turn.)

Tarmogoyf

Tarmogoyf's power is equal to the number of card types among cards in all graveyards and its toughness is equal to that number plus 1.

Acornelia, Fashionable Filcher

Whenever you cast a spell with a squirrel in its art, you get {A} (an acorn counter).
Whenever a Squirrel you control enters or dies, you get {A}.
{2}{B}, Pay X {A}: Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn.
{G}, Pay X {A}: Target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn.

"Brims" Barone, Midway Mobster

When "Brims" Barone, Midway Mobster enters, put a +1/+1 counter on each other creature you control that has a hat.
"Brims" Barone, Midway Mobster has menace as long as you're wearing a hat.

Who // What // When // Where // Why

Squirrel Nest

Enchant land
Enchanted land has "{T}: Create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token."

Animate Library

Enchant your library
Enchanted library is an artifact creature on the battlefield with power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It's still a library.
If enchanted library would leave the battlefield, exile this Aura instead.

Aggressive Crag

At the beginning of your combat step, tap Aggressive Crag.
{T}: Add {R} or {W}.

Creature Guy

Gotcha — If an opponent says "creature" or "guy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Creature Guy from your graveyard to your hand.

Kindslaver

{5}, {T}, Sacrifice Kindslaver: A person outside the game controls target player during that player's next turn. Neither player may advise that person until the end of that turn.

The Joiner of Cats

Whenever this creature attacks, look at the top six cards of your library. You may put a Cat creature card from among them onto the battlefield tapped and attacking. Put the rest of the cards on the bottom of your library in a random order. If you don't put a card onto the battlefield this way, create a token that's a tapped and attacking copy of Lurrus of the Dream-Den.

Autumn Willow and Baron Sengir

Shroud (This creature can't be the target of spells or abilities.)
Flying
Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, put a +2/+2 counter on each Vampire you control that dealt damage to that creature this turn.

Simic, Value Engine

At the beginning of your end step, if more lands entered the battlefield under your control this turn than an opponent had enter during their last turn, draw a card. Then, not counting that draw, if you drew more cards this turn than an opponent drew on their last turn, you may put a land card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Flavor Judge

{T}: Choose target spell or ability that targets a permanent you control. Then ask a person outside the game if the story of what will happen makes sense. If they say no, sacrifice this creature and counter that spell or ability.

Arvad of the Weatherlight

Rulebreaker — If Arvad of the Weatherlight is your Commander, you may include legendary permanents of any color in your deck regardless of color identity.
Whenever Arvad deals combat damage to an opponent, you may put a legendary permanent card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Jack-in-the-Mox

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. This ability has the indicated effect.
1 — Sacrifice this artifact and you lose 5 life.
2 — Add {W}.
3 — Add {U}.
4 — Add {B}.
5 — Add {R}.
6 — Add {G}.

Impatient Iguana

If Impatient Iguana is in your opening hand and you're not the starting player, you may reveal it. If you do, you become the starting player.
Haste

Wrenn and One

+1: Wrenn and One gains "{T}: Add {G}" until your next turn.
−1: Create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.
−4: You get an emblem with "At the beginning of your precombat main phase, add {G} for each creature you control."

Bucket List

Whenever you cast a spell of a type showing on Bucket List, put a counter over that type and draw a card. If all five types on Bucket List have counters over them, sacrifice it and draw one more card.
☐ artifact ☐ creature ☐ enchantment ☐ instant ☐ sorcery

Earl of Squirrel

Squirrellink (Damage dealt by this creature also causes you to create that many 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens.)
Creature tokens you control are Squirrels in addition to their other creature types.
Other Squirrels you control get +1/+1.

Ass Whuppin'

Destroy target silver-bordered or acorn permanent in any game you can see from your seat.

The Colossal Dreadmaw

Trample
You may cast creature cards from your hand as though they were the card Colossal Dreadmaw. (They become Colossal Dreadmaws.)

High Troller

All targeted spells and abilities cost {2} less and have their targets chosen randomly.

Thornvault Forager

{T}: Add {G}.
{T}, Forage: Add two mana in any combination of colors. (To forage, exile three cards from your graveyard or sacrifice a Food.)
{3}{G}, {T}: Search your library for a Squirrel card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Pick Your Poison

Choose any number of modes that total exactly 4. You may choose the same mode more than once.
[1] Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.
[2] Create a 1/1 black Snake creature token with deathtouch.
[4] All creatures get -2/-2 until end of turn.