B.F.M. (Big Furry Monster)

You must cast both B.F.M. cards to put
leaves the battlefield, sacrifice the other.
B.F.M. can't be blocked except by three or

Flaccify

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {3}{½}.

Chaos Confetti

{4}, {T}: Tear this artifact into pieces. Throw the pieces onto the battlefield from a distance of at least five feet. Destroy each permanent that a piece touches. Remove the pieces from the game.

Temple Garden

({T}: Add {G} or {W}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Ladies' Knight

Flying
Spells cast by players wearing at least one item of women's clothing cost {1} less to cast. (You can define women's clothing as you see fit. Be reasonable.)

Bountiful Promenade

This land enters tapped unless you have two or more opponents.
{T}: Add {G} or {W}.

Talisman of Dominance

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {U} or {B}. This artifact deals 1 damage to you.

Karplusan Forest

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {R} or {G}. This land deals 1 damage to you.

Talisman of Hierarchy

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {W} or {B}. This artifact deals 1 damage to you.

Goblin Bowling Team

If this creature would deal damage to a permanent or player, it deals that much damage plus the result of a six-sided die roll to that permanent or player instead.

Path of Ancestry

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity. When that mana is spent to cast a creature spell that shares a creature type with your commander, scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom.)

Chromatic Lantern

Lands you control have "{T}: Add one mana of any color."
{T}: Add one mana of any color.

Shivan Reef

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}. This land deals 1 damage to you.

Sacred Foundry

({T}: Add {R} or {W}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Caves of Koilos

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {W} or {B}. This land deals 1 damage to you.

Talisman of Creativity

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}. This artifact deals 1 damage to you.

Erase (Not the Urza's Legacy One)

If you control two or more white permanents that share an artist, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost.
Exile target enchantment.

Island

Knight of the Hokey Pokey

First strike
{1}{W}, Do the Hokey Pokey: Prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to this creature this turn. (To do the Hokey Pokey, choose an arm, a leg, or your whole self and put it in. Put it out. Put it in. Shake it all about. You do the Hokey Pokey! Turn yourself around.)

Spark Fiend

When this creature enters, roll two six-sided dice. If you rolled 2, 3, or 12, sacrifice this creature. If you rolled 7 or 11, don't roll dice for this creature during any of your following upkeeps. If you rolled any other total, note that total.
At the beginning of your upkeep, roll two six-sided dice. If you rolled 7, sacrifice this creature. If you roll the noted total, don't roll dice for this creature during any of your following upkeeps. Otherwise, do nothing.

Overgrown Tomb

({T}: Add {B} or {G}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

The Ultimate Nightmare of Wizards of the Coast® Customer Service

The Ultimate Nightmare of Wizards of the Coast® Customer Service deals X damage to each of Y target creatures and Z target players or planeswalkers.

Timmy, Power Gamer

{4}: You may put a creature card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Thassa's Oracle

When this creature enters, look at the top X cards of your library, where X is your devotion to blue. Put up to one of them on top of your library and the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order. If X is greater than or equal to the number of cards in your library, you win the game. (Each {U} in the mana costs of permanents you control counts toward your devotion to blue.)

Sex Appeal

Prevent the next 3 damage that would be dealt this turn to any number of targets, divided as you choose. If there are more people in the room of a different gender than you are as you cast this spell, prevent the next 6 damage this way instead.

Spell Counter

Counter target spell.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "spell" or "counter," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Spell Counter from your graveyard to your hand.

Mouth to Mouth

Choose target opponent and target creature they control. You and that player have a breath-holding contest. If you win, you gain control of that creature.

Forbidden Orchard

{T}: Add one mana of any color.
Whenever you tap this land for mana, target opponent creates a 1/1 colorless Spirit creature token.

Urza's Science Fair Project

{2}: Roll a six-sided die. This creature gets the indicated result.
1 — It gets -2/-2 until end of turn.
2 — Prevent all combat damage it would deal this turn.
3 — It gains vigilance until end of turn.
4 — It gains first strike until end of turn.
5 — It gains flying until end of turn.
6 — It gets +2/+2 until end of turn.

Mana Screw

{1}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add {C}{C}. Activate only as an instant.

Cheatyface

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying

Greater Morphling

{2}: This creature gains your choice of banding, bushido 1, double strike, fear, flying, first strike, haste, landwalk of your choice, protection from a color of your choice, provoke, rampage 1, shadow, or trample until end of turn.
{2}: This creature becomes the colors of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: This creature becomes the creature type of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: This creature's expansion symbol becomes the symbol of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: This creature's art becomes by the artist of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: This creature gets +2/-2 or -2/+2 until end of turn.
{2}: Untap this creature.

Spatula of the Ages

{4}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You may put a silver-bordered or acorn permanent card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Reliquary Tower

You have no maximum hand size.
{T}: Add {C}.

Talisman of Resilience

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {B} or {G}. This artifact deals 1 damage to you.

Watery Grave

({T}: Add {U} or {B}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Double Cross

Choose another player. Look at that player's hand and choose a card other than a basic land card from it. They discard that card. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, look at that player's hand and choose a card other than a basic land card from it. They discard that card.

Urza's Contact Lenses

This artifact enters tapped.
This artifact doesn't untap during your untap step.
As long as this artifact is untapped, all players play with their hands revealed.
Clap your hands twice: You may tap or untap this artifact.

Talisman of Indulgence

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}. This artifact deals 1 damage to you.

Johnny, Combo Player

{4}: Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle.

Denied!

Choose a card name, then target spell's controller reveals their hand. If a card with the chosen name is revealed this way, counter that spell.

Urza, Academy Headmaster

+1: Head to AskUrza.com and click +1.
−1: Head to AskUrza.com and click -1.
−6: Head to AskUrza.com and click -6.

Sauté

Gleemax

You choose all targets for all spells and abilities.

Handcuffs

As this enchantment enters, choose a player.
When the chosen player's hands aren't touching each other, sacrifice this enchantment and that player sacrifices three permanents.

Brushland

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {G} or {W}. This land deals 1 damage to you.

Look at Me, I'm the DCI

Ban a card other than a basic land card for the rest of the match. (All cards with that name in any zone or sideboard are removed from the match.)

B.F.M. onto the battlefield. If one B.F.M. card
more creatures.

Emcee

Whenever another creature enters, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.

Talisman of Progress

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {W} or {U}. This artifact deals 1 damage to you.

Talisman of Impulse

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {R} or {G}. This artifact deals 1 damage to you.

Battlefield Forge

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {R} or {W}. This land deals 1 damage to you.

Meddling Kids

As this creature enters, choose a word with four or more letters.
Spells with the chosen word in their text box can't be cast.

Fascist Art Director

{W}{W}: This creature gains protection from the artist of your choice until end of turn.

Exotic Orchard

{T}: Add one mana of any color that a land an opponent controls could produce.

Godless Shrine

({T}: Add {W} or {B}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Rejuvenating Springs

This land enters tapped unless you have two or more opponents.
{T}: Add {G} or {U}.

R&D's Secret Lair

Play cards as written. Ignore all errata.
{T}: Add {C}. (This mana is still added to your mana pool.)

Adarkar Wastes

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {W} or {U}. This land deals 1 damage to you.

Sorry

Before any player casts a spell with the same name as a card in any graveyard, that player may say "sorry." If they don't, any other player may say "sorry" as the spell is being cast. When another player says "sorry" this way, counter the spell.
Whenever a player says "sorry" at any other time, Sorry deals 2 damage to that player.

Enter the Dungeon

Players play a Magic subgame under the table, starting at 5 life and using their libraries as their decks. The winner searches their library for two cards, puts those cards into their hand, then shuffles.

Talisman of Conviction

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {R} or {W}. This artifact deals 1 damage to you.

Steam Vents

({T}: Add {U} or {R}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Yavimaya Coast

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {G} or {U}. This land deals 1 damage to you.

Talisman of Curiosity

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {G} or {U}. This artifact deals 1 damage to you.

Aesthetic Consultation

Choose an artist. Exile the top six cards of your library, then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a card with art by the chosen artist. Put that card in your hand and exile all other cards revealed this way.

Now I Know My ABC's

At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control permanents with names that include all twenty-six letters of the English alphabet, you win the game.

Hallowed Fountain

({T}: Add {W} or {U}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Jack-in-the-Mox

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. This ability has the indicated effect.
1 — Sacrifice this artifact and you lose 5 life.
2 — Add {W}.
3 — Add {U}.
4 — Add {B}.
5 — Add {R}.
6 — Add {G}.

Magical Hacker

{U}: Change the text of target spell or permanent by replacing all instances of + with -, and vice versa, until end of turn.

Bureaucracy

Pursuant to subsection 3.1(4) of Richard's Rules of Order, at the beginning of the upkeep of each participant in this game of the Magic: The Gathering® trading card game (hereafter known as "PLAYER"), that PLAYER performs all actions in the sequence of previously added actions (hereafter known as "ACTION QUEUE"), in the order those actions were added, then adds another action to the end of the ACTION QUEUE. All actions must be simple physical or verbal actions that a player can perform while sitting in a chair, without jeopardizing the health and security of said PLAYER.
When any PLAYER does not perform all the prescribed actions in the correct order, sacrifice this enchantment and said PLAYER discards their complement of cards in hand (hereafter known as "HAND").

Blacker Lotus

{T}: Tear this artifact into pieces. Add four mana of any one color. Remove the pieces from the game.

City of Ass

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.

Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Little Girl

Talisman of Unity

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {G} or {W}. This artifact deals 1 damage to you.

Letter Bomb

When this artifact enters, sign it and shuffle it into target player's library. That player reveals each card they draw until they draw this card. When that player draws this card, it deals 19½ damage to them.

Miss Demeanor

Flying, first strike
At the beginning of each other player's upkeep, you may compliment that player on their game play. If you don't, sacrifice this creature.

Stomping Ground

({T}: Add {R} or {G}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Mox Lotus

{T}: Add {∞}.
{100}: Add one mana of any color.

Blood Crypt

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Wishclaw Talisman

This artifact enters with three wish counters on it.
{1}, {T}, Remove a wish counter from this artifact: Search your library for a card, put it into your hand, then shuffle. An opponent gains control of this artifact. Activate only during your turn.

Red-Hot Hottie

Whenever this creature deals damage to a creature, put a third-degree-burn counter on that creature. It gains "At the beginning of each end step, sacrifice this creature unless you scream 'Aaah!' at the top of your lungs."

Breeding Pool

({T}: Add {G} or {U}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Time Machine

{T}: Exile this artifact and target nontoken creature you own. Return them to the battlefield at the beginning of your upkeep on your turn X in the next game you play with one of your opponents in this game, where X is the mana value of the exiled creature.

Fat Ass

This creature gets +2/+2 and has trample as long as you're eating. (Gum isn't food. We checked.)

Bronze Calendar

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice this artifact.

Llanowar Wastes

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {B} or {G}. This land deals 1 damage to you.

Ashnod's Coupon

{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Target player gets you target drink. You pay any costs for the drink.

Clam Session

As this creature enters, choose a word.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may sing at least six words of a song, at least one of which is the chosen word. If you don't, sacrifice this creature. You can't repeat a song.

Who // What // When // Where // Why

I'm Rubber, You're Glue

When you speak in non-rhyming sentences, sacrifice this enchantment.
Say "I'm rubber, you're glue. Everything bounces off me and sticks to you": Change the target of target spell or ability that targets only you.

Censorship

As this enchantment enters, choose a word.
Whenever a player says the chosen word, this enchantment deals 2 damage to that player.

Richard Garfield, Ph.D.

You may play cards as though they were other cards of your choice with the same mana cost. You can't choose the same card twice. (Mana cost includes color.)

Giant Fan

{2}, {T}: Move a counter from one permanent onto another. If the second permanent refers to any kind of counter, the moved counter becomes one of those counters. Otherwise, it becomes a +1/+1 counter.

Save Life

Choose one —
• Target player gains 2½ life.
• Prevent the next 2½ damage that would be dealt to target creature this turn.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "save" or "life," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Save Life from your graveyard to your hand.

Goblin Tutor

Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
2 — A card named Goblin Tutor
3 — An enchantment
4 — An artifact
5 — A creature
6 — An instant or sorcery

_____

{1}: This card's name becomes the card name of your choice. Activate anywhere, anytime.

Frazzled Editor

Protection from wordy (Something is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)

Incoming!

Each player searches their library for any number of artifact, creature, enchantment, and/or land cards, puts them onto the battlefield, then shuffles.

Clay Pigeon

Flying
{1}, Throw this creature into the air at least two feet above your head while seated: If you catch this creature with one hand, prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to you this turn and tap this creature. Otherwise, sacrifice it.