Don't Have

Marshal's Anthem

Multikicker {1}{W} (You may pay an additional {1}{W} any number of times as you cast this spell.)
Creatures you control get +1/+1.
When this enchantment enters, return up to X target creature cards from your graveyard to the battlefield, where X is the number of times this enchantment was kicked.

Have

Clown Robot

Priority Boarding

Whenever you roll a die, you may reveal the top card of your library. Do this only once each turn. Whenever you reveal a card with mana value less than the result this way, you may exile it. If you do, you may play it this turn.

Emcee

Whenever another creature enters, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.

Alpine Meadow

({T}: Add {R} or {W}.)
This land enters tapped.

Component Pouch

{T}, Remove a component counter from this artifact: Add two mana of different colors.
{T}: Roll a d20.
1—9 | Put a component counter on this artifact.
10—20 | Put two component counters on this artifact.

Krark's Other Thumb

If you would roll a die, instead roll two of those dice and ignore one of those results.

Sacrifice Play

A person outside the game chooses an attacking or blocking creature target opponent controls. That player sacrifices that creature.

Underdome

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.

Punctuate

Punctuate deals damage to target creature equal to half the number of punctuation marks in that creature's text box. (The punctuation marks are ! ? , ; : - — ( ) / " " ' ' & .)

The Big Top

{T}: Add one mana of any color that appears on your top. (A top is an outerwear garment worn on the upper body.)

Pietra, Crafter of Clowns

Haste
Robots you control get +1/+1.
{R}{W}, {T}, Tell a joke you haven't told this game to someone outside the game: Create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token. If that person laughed, the token gains haste until end of turn.

Sol Ring

Complaints Clerk

When this creature enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
Whenever you roll a 1, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

T.A.P.P.E.R.

{T}, Tap an untapped creature you control that has a hat: Tap target creature.

Face to Face

You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that player.

Chivalrous Chevalier

Flying
When this creature enters, return a creature you control to its owner's hand unless you compliment an opponent.

Urza's Fun House

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {∞}. Activate only once and only if you control an Urza's Mine, an Urza's Power-Plant, and an Urza's Tower.
{7}, {T}: Head to AskUrza.com and click Urza's Fun House.

Revivify

Roll a d20 and add the number of creature cards in your graveyard that were put there from the battlefield this turn.
1—14 | Return all creature cards in your graveyard that were put there from the battlefield this turn to your hand.
15+ | Return those cards from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Park Re-Entry

Return up to two target creature cards that each have a hat and/or mana value 3 or less from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Gobsmacked

Enchant nonland permanent
As this Aura enters, choose a person outside the game.
As long as you can see the chosen person from your seat, enchanted permanent can't attack or block, and its activated abilities can't be activated.

Carnival Barker

{T}: You have thirty seconds to laud a creature you control to any people outside the game. Until end of turn, that creature gains trample and haste and gets +X/+0, where X is the number of those people who applauded. Activate only as a sorcery and only once.

Slight Malfunction

Choose one —
• Destroy target artifact.
• Roll a six-sided die. When you do, Slight Malfunction deals 1 damage to each of up to X target creatures, where X is the result.

Assembled Ensemble

Vigilance
Assembled Ensemble's power is equal to the number of Robots you control.
Whenever you cast a spell with an artifact creature in its art, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Second Thoughts

Exile target attacking creature.
Draw a card.

Hat Trick

Target blocking or blocked creature you control gets +1/+1 and gains first strike until end of turn. If it has a hat, it gains double strike until end of turn. If you and that creature each have a hat, the creature gains triple strike until end of turn.

GO TO JAIL

When this enchantment enters, exile target creature an opponent controls until this enchantment leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of the upkeep of the exiled card's owner, that player rolls two six-sided dice. If they roll doubles, sacrifice this enchantment.

Look at Me, I'm the DCI

Ban a card other than a basic land card for the rest of the match. (All cards with that name in any zone or sideboard are removed from the match.)

Goblin Bookie

{R}, {T}: Reflip any coin or reroll any die. (Activate only any time it makes sense.)

Ticking Mime Bomb

When this creature enters, without speaking or indicating any specific creature, pantomime to a person outside the game, then they choose a creature you don't control. This creature deals damage equal to twice the number of Robots you control to the chosen creature.

One-Clown Band

{2}{R}: Target Robot gets +2/+0 until end of turn.

Goblin S.W.A.T. Team

Say "Goblin S.W.A.T. Team": Put a +1/+1 counter on this creature unless an opponent swats the table within five seconds. Activate only once each turn.

Surprise Party

When this enchantment enters, yell "Surprise!" and put onto the battlefield any number of printed Clown Robot tokens that aren't touching each other, that you hid on the battlefield before you cast this enchantment, and that weren't spotted by an opponent before you cast this enchantment.
Robots you control get +1/+0 and have vigilance.

Bar Entry

Choose one —
• Destroy target creature with power 4 or greater.
• Destroy target creature with any part of its head higher than the bar. (Align the tops of both cards to check.)

Painiac

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. This creature gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the result.

Goblin Tutor

Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
2 — A card named Goblin Tutor
3 — An enchantment
4 — An artifact
5 — A creature
6 — An instant or sorcery

Thought Vessel

You have no maximum hand size.
{T}: Add {C}.

Clifftop Retreat

This land enters tapped unless you control a Mountain or a Plains.
{T}: Add {R} or {W}.

Wand of Wonder

{4}, {T}: Roll a d20. Each opponent exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile an instant or sorcery card, then shuffles the rest into their library. You may cast up to X instant and/or sorcery spells from among cards exiled this way without paying their mana costs.
1—9 | X is one.
10—19 | X is two.
20 | X is three.

Clowning Around

Create two 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature tokens, then roll a six-sided die. If the result is equal to or less than the number of Robots you control, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Starlight Spectacular

Parade! — At the beginning of combat on your turn, choose creatures you control one at a time until each creature you control has been chosen. Each of those creatures gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each creature chosen before it. (Places everyone! The first creature in line gets +0/+0.)

Super-Duper Death Ray

Trample (This spell can deal excess damage to its target's controller.)
Super-Duper Death Ray deals 4 damage to target creature.

Pygmy Giant

{R}, {T}, Sacrifice a creature: This creature deals X damage to target creature, where X is a number in the sacrificed creature's text box.

Chief of the Foundry

Other artifact creatures you control get +1/+1.

Pie-roclasm

This creature deals π damage to each non-Clown creature. (How to calculate π isn't important. It's a smidgen more than 3.)

Omniclown Colossus

Affinity for Clowns (This spell costs {1} less to cast for each Clown you control.)
Trample

Omniclown Colossus // Pie-roclasm

Aardwolf's Advantage

Creatures you control get +2/+0 and gain alpha strike until end of turn. (A creature with alpha strike has first strike as long as it's blocking or being blocked by a creature that comes after it alphabetically.)

Trapeze Artist

Flying
This creature enters by being flipped from a height of at least one foot (about 0.3 meters). If it lands face down or didn't turn over completely at least once during the flip, return it to its owner's hand.

Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Impounding Lot-Bot

When this creature enters, you may say "INCARCERATE!" in a robot voice. If you do, exile another target artifact or enchantment until this creature leaves the battlefield.

Circuits Act

Roll three six-sided dice. For each different result, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Wordmail

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each word in its name.

Impassioned Orator

Whenever another creature you control enters, you gain 1 life.

Trigger Happy

Choose a triggered ability of target permanent. It triggers. You control that ability.

Just Desserts

Just Desserts deals π damage to target creature. (π is the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. (It's a smidgen more than 3.))

Goblin Bowling Team

If this creature would deal damage to a permanent or player, it deals that much damage plus the result of a six-sided die roll to that permanent or player instead.

Rock Star

Reach
When this creature enters, you may discard a card. If you do, reveal the top five cards of your library. Ask a person outside the game to choose which of them is most like a rock band. Put that card into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order.

Feather of Flight

Flash
Enchant creature
When this Aura enters, draw a card.
Enchanted creature gets +1/+0 and has flying.

Rules Lawyer

State-based actions don't apply to you or other permanents you control. (You don't lose the game due to having 0 or less life or drawing from an empty library. Your creatures aren't destroyed due to damage or deathtouch and aren't put into a graveyard due to having 0 or less toughness. Your planeswalkers aren't put into a graveyard if they have 0 loyalty. You don't put a legendary permanent into a graveyard if you control two with the same name. Counters aren't removed from your permanents due to game rules. Permanents you control attached or combined illegally remain on the battlefield. For complete rules and regulations, see rule 704.)

Adaptive Automaton

As this creature enters, choose a creature type.
This creature is the chosen type in addition to its other types.
Other creatures you control of the chosen type get +1/+1.

Celebr-8000

At the beginning of combat on your turn, roll two six-sided dice. For each result of 1, this creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn. For each other result, it gains the indicated ability until end of turn. If you rolled doubles, it also gains double strike until end of turn.
• 2 — menace
• 3 — vigilance
• 4 — lifelink
• 5 — flying
• 6 — indestructible

Arcane Signet

Strength-Testing Hammer

Whenever equipped creature attacks, roll a six-sided die. That creature gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the result. Then if it has the greatest power or is tied for greatest power among creatures on the battlefield, draw a card.
Equip {3}

Non-Human Cannonball

When this creature dies, roll a six-sided die. If the result is 4 or less, this creature deals that much damage to you.

Get Your Head in the Game

Flash
When this enchantment enters, exile target nonland permanent until it (this card) leaves the battlefield, then touch it (this card) to your head. When it (this card) stops touching it (your head), sacrifice it (the card, not your head).

Boros Signet

I'm Rubber, You're Glue

When you speak in non-rhyming sentences, sacrifice this enchantment.
Say "I'm rubber, you're glue. Everything bounces off me and sticks to you": Change the target of target spell or ability that targets only you.

Standard Procedure

{1}, Reveal Standard Procedure from your hand: Choose an instant or sorcery card with mana value 3 or less currently legal in the Standard format. Standard Procedure becomes that card until end of turn.

Leading Performance

Choose two letters. Put a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control whose name begins with either of the chosen letters.

Plains

Man of Measure

As long as you're shorter than an opponent, Man of Measure gets +0/+1 and has first strike.
As long as you're taller than an opponent, Man of Measure gets +1/+0.

My First Tome

{1}, {T}: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and they guessed wrong, you draw a card.

Mountain

Gimme Five

You gain 1 life for each person who high-fives you in the next thirty seconds. Each player in an Un-game who high-fives you gains 1 life. (Offer high fives. Don't hit people.)

Knight of the Kitchen Sink

First strike, protection from black borders (Nothing with a black border can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Tempered Steel

Artifact creatures you control get +2/+2.

Chain Reaction

Chain Reaction deals X damage to each creature, where X is the number of creatures on the battlefield.

Jetpack Janitor

Alpha strike (This creature has first strike as long as it's blocking or being blocked by a creature that comes after it alphabetically.)

Party Crasher

Haste
You can attack with this creature once each combat during each opponent's turn.

Goblin Haberdasher

Menace (This creature can't be blocked except by two or more creatures.)
Other creatures you control wearing hats in their art have menace.

Clown Car

When this Vehicle enters, roll X six-sided dice. For each odd result, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token. For each even result, put a +1/+1 counter on this Vehicle.
Crew 2

Amped Up

This spell costs {1} less to cast for each electrical socket in a wall or floor you can see from your seat.
Gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature. Until end of turn, it gets +3/+0 and gains haste.

Vicious Clown

Whenever another creature you control with power 2 or less enters, this creature gets +2/+0 until end of turn.

Rustvale Bridge

This land enters tapped.
Indestructible
{T}: Add {R} or {W}.

Access Tunnel

{T}: Add {C}.
{3}, {T}: Target creature with power 3 or less can't be blocked this turn.