Guff Rewrites History

For each player, choose target nonenchantment, nonland permanent that player controls. Those permanents' owners shuffle them into their libraries. Each player who controlled one of those permanents exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card, then puts the rest on the bottom of their library in a random order. Each player may cast the nonland card they exiled without paying its mana cost.

Mount Doom

{T}, Pay 1 life: Add {B} or {R}.
{1}{B}{R}, {T}: Mount Doom deals 1 damage to each opponent.
{5}{B}{R}, {T}, Sacrifice Mount Doom and a legendary artifact: Choose up to two creatures, then destroy the rest. Activate only as a sorcery.

Winds of Change

Each player shuffles the cards from their hand into their library, then draws that many cards.

Ritual Chamber

When you unlock this door, create a 6/6 black Demon creature token with flying.
(You may cast either half. That door unlocks on the battlefield. As a sorcery, you may pay the mana cost of a locked door to unlock it.)

Unholy Annex

At the beginning of your end step, draw a card. If you control a Demon, each opponent loses 2 life and you gain 2 life. Otherwise, you lose 2 life.
(You may cast either half. That door unlocks on the battlefield. As a sorcery, you may pay the mana cost of a locked door to unlock it.)

Unholy Annex // Ritual Chamber

Magebane Lizard

Whenever a player casts a noncreature spell, this creature deals damage to that player equal to the number of noncreature spells they've cast this turn.

Deadly Rollick

If you control a commander, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost.
Exile target creature.

Getting

Pyroblast

Choose one —
• Counter target spell if it's blue.
• Destroy target permanent if it's blue.

Pelakka Caverns

Pelakka Predation

Target opponent reveals their hand. You choose a card from it with mana value 3 or greater. That player discards that card.

Pelakka Predation // Pelakka Caverns

Dark Ritual

Razorkin Needlehead

This creature has first strike during your turn.
Whenever an opponent draws a card, this creature deals 1 damage to them.

Mana Vault

This artifact doesn't untap during your untap step.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay {4}. If you do, untap this artifact.
At the beginning of your draw step, if this artifact is tapped, it deals 1 damage to you.
{T}: Add {C}{C}{C}.

Demonic Tutor

Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle.

No Mercy

Whenever a creature deals damage to you, destroy it.

Prosper, Tome-Bound

Deathtouch
Mystic Arcanum — At the beginning of your end step, exile the top card of your library. Until the end of your next turn, you may play that card.
Pact Boon — Whenever you play a card from exile, create a Treasure token.

Scheming Symmetry

Choose two target players. Each of them searches their library for a card, then shuffles and puts that card on top.

Descent into Avernus

At the beginning of your upkeep, put two descent counters on this enchantment. Then each player creates X Treasure tokens and this enchantment deals X damage to each player, where X is the number of descent counters on this enchantment.

Wooded Foothills

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a Mountain or Forest card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Hissing Miasma

Whenever a creature attacks you, its controller loses 1 life.

Untimely Malfunction

Choose one —
• Destroy target artifact.
• Change the target of target spell or ability with a single target.
• One or two target creatures can't block this turn.

Lightning Greaves

Equipped creature has haste and shroud. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities.)
Equip {0}

Reverberate

Copy target instant or sorcery spell. You may choose new targets for the copy.

Liliana's Caress

Whenever an opponent discards a card, that player loses 2 life.

Yahenni's Expertise

All creatures get -3/-3 until end of turn.
You may cast a spell with mana value 3 or less from your hand without paying its mana cost.

Exquisite Blood

Whenever an opponent loses life, you gain that much life.

Orcish Bowmasters

Flash
When this creature enters and whenever an opponent draws a card except the first one they draw in each of their draw steps, this creature deals 1 damage to any target. Then amass Orcs 1.

Fork

Copy target instant or sorcery spell, except that the copy is red. You may choose new targets for the copy.

Spellshock

Whenever a player casts a spell, this enchantment deals 2 damage to that player.

Koskun Falls

At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice this enchantment unless you tap an untapped creature you control.
Creatures can't attack you unless their controller pays {2} for each creature they control that's attacking you.

Blood Artist

Whenever this creature or another creature dies, target player loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.

Song-Mad Ruins

Song-Mad Treachery

Gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature. It gains haste until end of turn.

Song-Mad Treachery // Song-Mad Ruins

Haunted Ridge

This land enters tapped unless you control two or more other lands.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

War Elemental

When this creature enters, sacrifice it unless an opponent was dealt damage this turn.
Whenever an opponent is dealt damage, put that many +1/+1 counters on this creature.

Bonehoard Dracosaur

Flying, first strike
At the beginning of your upkeep, exile the top two cards of your library. You may play them this turn. If you exiled a land card this way, create a 3/1 red Dinosaur creature token. If you exiled a nonland card this way, create a Treasure token.

Bojuka Bog

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, exile target player's graveyard.
{T}: Add {B}.

Luxury Suite

This land enters tapped unless you have two or more opponents.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Gleeful Arsonist

Whenever an opponent casts a noncreature spell, this creature deals damage equal to its power to that player.
Undying (When this creature dies, if it had no +1/+1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a +1/+1 counter on it.)

Shivan Gorge

{T}: Add {C}.
{2}{R}, {T}: Shivan Gorge deals 1 damage to each opponent.

Bloodstained Mire

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a Swamp or Mountain card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Zoyowa's Justice

The owner of target artifact or creature with mana value 1 or greater shuffles it into their library. Then that player discovers X, where X is its mana value. (They exile cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card with that mana value or less. They cast it without paying its mana cost or put it into their hand. They put the rest on the bottom in a random order.)

Stab Wound

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets -2/-2.
At the beginning of the upkeep of enchanted creature's controller, that player loses 2 life.

Shatterskull, the Hammer Pass

As this land enters, you may pay 3 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.
{T}: Add {R}.

Shatterskull Smashing

Shatterskull Smashing deals X damage divided as you choose among up to two target creatures and/or planeswalkers. If X is 6 or more, Shatterskull Smashing deals twice X damage divided as you choose among them instead.

Shatterskull Smashing // Shatterskull, the Hammer Pass

Lost Vale

(Transforms from Dowsing Dagger.)
{T}: Add three mana of any one color.

Dowsing Dagger

When this Equipment enters, target opponent creates two 0/2 green Plant creature tokens with defender.
Equipped creature gets +2/+1.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, you may transform this Equipment.
Equip {2}

Dowsing Dagger // Lost Vale

Cemetery Gatekeeper

First strike
When this creature enters, exile a card from a graveyard.
Whenever a player plays a land or casts a spell, if it shares a card type with the exiled card, this creature deals 2 damage to that player.

Blood Crypt

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Mayhem Devil

Whenever a player sacrifices a permanent, this creature deals 1 damage to any target.

Redirect Lightning

As an additional cost to cast this spell, pay 5 life or pay {2}.
Change the target of target spell or ability with a single target.

Nykthos, Shrine to Nyx

{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}: Choose a color. Add an amount of mana of that color equal to your devotion to that color. (Your devotion to a color is the number of mana symbols of that color in the mana costs of permanents you control.)

Ob Nixilis, the Hate-Twisted

Whenever an opponent draws a card, Ob Nixilis deals 1 damage to that player.
−2: Destroy target creature. Its controller draws two cards.

Entomb

Search your library for a card, put that card into your graveyard, then shuffle.

Spiteful Visions

At the beginning of each player's draw step, that player draws an additional card.
Whenever a player draws a card, this enchantment deals 1 damage to that player.

Court of Embereth

When this enchantment enters, you become the monarch.
At the beginning of your upkeep, create a 3/1 red Knight creature token. Then if you're the monarch, this enchantment deals X damage to each opponent, where X is the number of creatures you control.

Gonti, Night Minister

Whenever a player casts a spell they don't own, that player creates a Treasure token.
Whenever a creature deals combat damage to one of your opponents, its controller looks at the top card of that opponent's library and exiles it face down. They may play that card for as long as it remains exiled. Mana of any type can be spent to cast a spell this way.

Polluted Bonds

Whenever a land an opponent controls enters, that player loses 2 life and you gain 2 life.

Hellish Rebuke

Until end of turn, permanents your opponents control gain "When this permanent deals damage to the player who cast Hellish Rebuke, sacrifice this permanent. You lose 2 life."

Shadowblood Ridge

Rug of Smothering

Flying
Whenever a player casts a spell, they lose 1 life for each spell they've cast this turn.

Soot Imp

Flying
Whenever a player casts a nonblack spell, that player loses 1 life.

Polluted Delta

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for an Island or Swamp card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Graven Cairns

{T}: Add {C}.
{B/R}, {T}: Add {B}{B}, {B}{R}, or {R}{R}.

Keen Duelist

At the beginning of your upkeep, you and target opponent each reveal the top card of your library. You each lose life equal to the mana value of the card revealed by the other player. You each put the card you revealed into your hand.

Sheoldred, the Apocalypse

Deathtouch
Whenever you draw a card, you gain 2 life.
Whenever an opponent draws a card, they lose 2 life.

Gravestorm

At the beginning of your upkeep, target opponent may exile a card from their graveyard. If that player doesn't, you may draw a card.

Clawing Torment

Enchant artifact or creature
As long as enchanted permanent is a creature, it gets -1/-1 and can't block.
Enchanted permanent has "At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 1 life."

Withering Torment

Destroy target creature or enchantment. You lose 2 life.

Snow-Covered Mountain

Mox Diamond

If this artifact would enter, you may discard a land card instead. If you do, put this artifact onto the battlefield. If you don't, put it into its owner's graveyard.
{T}: Add one mana of any color.

Harnfel, Horn of Bounty

Discard a card: Exile the top two cards of your library. You may play those cards this turn.

Birgi, God of Storytelling

Whenever you cast a spell, add {R}. Until end of turn, you don't lose this mana as steps and phases end.
Creatures you control can boast twice during each of your turns rather than once.

Birgi, God of Storytelling // Harnfel, Horn of Bounty

Talon Gates of Madara

When this land enters, up to one target creature phases out.
{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}: Add one mana of any color.
{4}: Put this card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Chaos Warp

The owner of target permanent shuffles it into their library, then reveals the top card of their library. If it's a permanent card, they put it onto the battlefield.

Varragoth, Bloodsky Sire

Deathtouch
Boast — {1}{B}: Target player searches their library for a card, then shuffles and puts that card on top. (Activate only if this creature attacked this turn and only once each turn.)

Mox Amber

{T}: Add one mana of any color among legendary creatures and planeswalkers you control.

Urza's Saga

(As this Saga enters and after your draw step, add a lore counter. Sacrifice after III.)
I — This Saga gains "{T}: Add {C}."
II — This Saga gains "{2}, {T}: Create a 0/0 colorless Construct artifact creature token with 'This token gets +1/+1 for each artifact you control.'"
III — Search your library for an artifact card with mana cost {0} or {1}, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Ricochet Trap

If an opponent cast a blue spell this turn, you may pay {R} rather than pay this spell's mana cost.
Change the target of target spell with a single target.

Karazikar, the Eye Tyrant

Whenever you attack a player, tap target creature that player controls and goad it. (Until your next turn, that creature attacks each combat if able and attacks a player other than you if able.)
Whenever an opponent attacks another one of your opponents, you and the attacking player each draw a card and lose 1 life.

Bolt Bend

This spell costs {3} less to cast if you control a creature with power 4 or greater.
Change the target of target spell or ability with a single target.

Not Dead After All

Until end of turn, target creature you control gains "When this creature dies, return it to the battlefield tapped under its owner's control, then create a Wicked Role token attached to it." (Enchanted creature gets +1/+1. When this token is put into a graveyard, each opponent loses 1 life.)

Bontu's Monument

Black creature spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
Whenever you cast a creature spell, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.

Jeska's Will

Choose one. If you control a commander as you cast this spell, you may choose both instead.
• Add {R} for each card in target opponent's hand.
• Exile the top three cards of your library. You may play them this turn.

Ragavan, Nimble Pilferer

Whenever Ragavan deals combat damage to a player, create a Treasure token and exile the top card of that player's library. Until end of turn, you may cast that card.
Dash {1}{R} (You may cast this spell for its dash cost. If you do, it gains haste, and it's returned from the battlefield to its owner's hand at the beginning of the next end step.)

Enchanter's Bane

At the beginning of your end step, target enchantment deals damage equal to its mana value to its controller unless that player sacrifices it.

Blood Pet

Gwenom, Remorseless

Deathtouch, lifelink
Whenever Gwenom attacks, until end of turn, you may look at the top card of your library any time and you may play cards from the top of your library. If you cast a spell this way, pay life equal to its mana value rather than pay its mana cost.

Darkness

Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt this turn.

Sanguine Morass

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Bloodsoaked Insight

This spell costs {1} less to cast for each 1 life your opponents have lost this turn.
Target opponent exiles the top three cards of their library. Until the end of your next turn, you may play those cards. If you cast a spell this way, mana of any type can be spent to cast it.

Bloodsoaked Insight // Sanguine Morass

Deadpool, Trading Card

As Deadpool enters, you may exchange his text box and another creature's.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 3 life.
{3}, Sacrifice this creature: Each other player draws a card.

Font of Mythos

At the beginning of each player's draw step, that player draws two additional cards.

Rampaging Ferocidon

Menace
Players can't gain life.
Whenever another creature enters, this creature deals 1 damage to that creature's controller.

Verdant Catacombs

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a Swamp or Forest card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Dauthi Voidwalker

Shadow (This creature can block or be blocked by only creatures with shadow.)
If a card would be put into an opponent's graveyard from anywhere, instead exile it with a void counter on it.
{T}, Sacrifice this creature: Choose an exiled card an opponent owns with a void counter on it. You may play it this turn without paying its mana cost.

Lake of the Dead

If this land would enter, sacrifice a Swamp instead. If you do, put this land onto the battlefield. If you don't, put it into its owner's graveyard.
{T}: Add {B}.
{T}, Sacrifice a Swamp: Add {B}{B}{B}{B}.

The Last Agni Kai

Target creature you control fights target creature an opponent controls. If the creature the opponent controls is dealt excess damage this way, add that much {R}.
Until end of turn, you don't lose unspent red mana as steps and phases end.

Twilight Prophet

Flying
Ascend (If you control ten or more permanents, you get the city's blessing for the rest of the game.)
At the beginning of your upkeep, if you have the city's blessing, reveal the top card of your library and put it into your hand. Each opponent loses X life and you gain X life, where X is that card's mana value.

Persistent Constrictor

At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, they lose 1 life and you put a -1/-1 counter on up to one target creature they control.
Persist (When this creature dies, if it had no -1/-1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a -1/-1 counter on it.)