Aardwolf's Advantage

Creatures you control get +2/+0 and gain alpha strike until end of turn. (A creature with alpha strike has first strike as long as it's blocking or being blocked by a creature that comes after it alphabetically.)

Soul Swindler

As long as you've visited an Attraction this turn, this creature has indestructible. (Damage and effects that say "destroy" don't destroy it.)
When this creature enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Emcee

Whenever another creature enters, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.

Juggletron

Trample
Whenever this creature attacks, you may put an art sticker on it.
This creature gets +3/+0 for each item in its art that's not touching Juggletron, another item, or the card frame.

Face to Face

You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that player.

Trendy Circus Pirate

{TK}{TK} — Deathtouch
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, create that many 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens.
{TK}{TK} — 5/1
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 3/6

Mer Man

When this creature enters, you may draw a card.

Gimme Five

You gain 1 life for each person who high-fives you in the next thirty seconds. Each player in an Un-game who high-fives you gains 1 life. (Offer high fives. Don't hit people.)

Martial Impetus

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 and is goaded. (It attacks each combat if able and attacks a player other than you if able.)
Whenever enchanted creature attacks, each other creature that's attacking one of your opponents gets +1/+1 until end of turn.

Night of the Flying Merfolk

Bedtime story (Don't put a lore counter on this Saga as it enters. Put a lore counter on it at the beginning of your end step rather than your main phase. Sacrifice after III.)
I — Create two 1/1 blue Merfolk creature tokens.
II — Put a flying counter on each tapped creature you control.
III — Draw a card for each creature you control that dealt combat damage to a player this turn.

Avatar of Slaughter

All creatures have double strike and attack each combat if able.

Mistakes Were Made

Destroy target artifact or enchantment. Create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token for each fire extinguisher you can see from your seat.

Mana Abundance

If a player would add mana, instead all players add that mana.

Razortide Bridge

This land enters tapped.
Indestructible
{T}: Add {W} or {U}.

Dairy Cow

Grazing type (This creature enters the battlefield with five milk counters on it for each Forest and/or Plant you control.)

Extremely Slow Zombie

Last strike (This creature deals combat damage after creatures without last strike.)

Lethal Sting

As an additional cost to cast this spell, put a -1/-1 counter on a creature you control.
Destroy target creature.

Angelic Harold

Flying
When Angelic Harold enters, you may put a name sticker on a nonland permanent you own.
Each creature you control with three or more words in its name gets +1/+1.

Worldknit

(Start the game with this conspiracy face up in the command zone.)
As long as every card in your card pool started the game in your library or in the command zone, lands you control have "{T}: Add one mana of any color."

Sunimret

Reverse miracle {B} (If this card is on the bottom of your library as you begin searching it, you may cast it by paying its reverse miracle cost.)
Exile all creatures.

Rite of the Raging Storm

Creatures named Lightning Rager can't attack you or planeswalkers you control.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player creates a 5/1 red Elemental creature token named Lightning Rager. It has trample, haste, and "At the beginning of the end step, sacrifice this token."

Jermane, Pride of the Circus

{G}, {T}: Put two +1/+1 counters on target creature with four or more legs.
{1}{G}{G}, {T}: Until end of turn, all creatures able to block target creature with four or more legs do so.

Look at Me, I'm R&D

As this enchantment enters, choose a number and a second number one higher or one lower than the first number.
All instances of the first chosen number in the full text of each permanent, spell, and card in any zone are changed to the second chosen number.

Planequake

Planequake deals X damage to each creature without flying and each planeswalker. If X is 10 or more, open the "Uncovered Cavern" plot booster.

Wrath of Sod

Put a manabond counter on all creatures. (They lose all other abilities and become lands with "{T}: Add one mana of this card's color.")

When Fluffy Bunnies Attack

Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of times the letter of your choice appears in that creature's name.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if this card is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return this artifact to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see this artifact.
{2}, Sacrifice this artifact: Destroy target attacking creature.

Dee Kay, Finder of the Lost

When Dee Kay enters, open an Attraction.
Whenever you roll a 2, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.
Whenever you roll a 4, you may tap or untap target artifact or creature.
Whenever you roll a 6, return target creature card from your graveyard to your hand.

Bounce Chamber

Visit — Return a creature you don't control with the lowest toughness among creatures you don't control to its owner's hand. (If multiple creatures are tied, choose any one of them.)

Toralf's Disciple

Haste
Whenever Toralf's Disciple attacks, conjure four cards named Lightning Bolt into your library, then shuffle.

Art Appreciation

Put an art sticker on a nonland permanent you own. Then ask a person outside the game to rate its new art on a scale from 1 to 5, where 5 is the best. When they rate the art, up to that many target creatures can't block this turn.

Last-Minute Chopping

Ask target opponent if they remembered to get you a present. If they say yes, they put a card they own from outside the game into your hand. Otherwise, you gain control of target permanent they control.

Do-Over

Restart the turn, except with Do-Over in exile. (First, return all cards to where they were as the turn began. For information from hidden zones like the hand, reconstruct as best you can, and do the rest at random.)

Map to Lorthos's Temple

Whenever you complete one of the following objectives, check it off. If all three are checked off, sacrifice Map to Lorthos's Temple. If you do, create a Lorthos, the Tidemaker token.
☐ Diving Gear — An artifact enters the battlefield under your control.
☐ Merfolk — A Merfolk enters the battlefield under your control.
☐ Ritual — You cast an instant or sorcery spell.

Common Black Removal

Choose one. Destroy target creature, then —
• Create a Food token.
• Create a Treasure token.
• Put a menace counter on a creature you control.
• That creature's controller mills cards equal to its power.

Keeper of the Secret Lair

Flash
You may cast Secret Lair spells as though they had flash.
Secret Lair spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.

Steady-Handed Mook

Deathtouch
When this creature enters, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Ral's Vanguard

Requirement — Your starting deck contains only instant, sorcery, and land cards.
Starting hand size +1 Starting life total -5
If an instant or sorcery spell you cast would cause you to draw one or more cards, draw an additional card. If an instant or sorcery spell you cast would deal damage to a permanent or player, it deals 1 additional damage to that permanent or player.

Questing Beast

Vigilance, deathtouch, haste
Questing Beast can't be blocked by creatures with power 2 or less.
Combat damage that would be dealt by creatures you control can't be prevented.
Whenever Questing Beast deals combat damage to an opponent, it deals that much damage to target planeswalker that player controls.

Incendiary Dissent

Hidden agenda (Start the game with this conspiracy face down in the command zone and secretly choose a card name. You may turn this conspiracy face up any time and reveal that name.)
Creatures you control with the chosen name have "{R}: This creature gets +1/+0 until end of turn."

Blast from the Past

Madness {R}, cycling {1}{R}, kicker {2}{R}, flashback {3}{R}, buyback {4}{R}
Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to any target. If this spell was kicked, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token.

Save Life

Choose one —
• Target player gains 2½ life.
• Prevent the next 2½ damage that would be dealt to target creature this turn.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "save" or "life," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Save Life from your graveyard to your hand.

Temp of the Damned

As this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. This creature enters with a number of funk counters on it equal to the result.
At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a funk counter from this creature. If you can't, sacrifice it.

Organ Harvest

Your team may sacrifice any number of creatures. For each creature sacrificed this way, you add {B}{B}.

AWOL

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Wolf in _____ Clothing

When this creature enters, you may put a name sticker on it. When you do, up to X target creatures each get -1/-1 until end of turn, where X is the number of unique vowels on that sticker. (The vowels are A, E, I, O, U, and Y.)

Can't Quite Recall

Forbidden (This card can't be in your starting deck. Yes, you read that right. You need to figure out a way to get it into the game without it being in your deck.)
Target player draws three cards.

Urabrask, Heretic Praetor

Haste
At the beginning of your upkeep, exile the top card of your library. You may play it this turn.
At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, the next time they would draw a card this turn, instead they exile the top card of their library. They may play it this turn.

Pair o' Dice Lost

Roll two six-sided dice. Return any number of cards with total mana value X or less from your graveyard to your hand, where X is the total of those results. Exile Pair o' Dice Lost.

Victory Chimes

Untap this artifact during each other player's untap step.
{T}: A player of your choice adds {C}.

_____ Balls of Fire

When this enchantment enters, you may put a name sticker on it.
Whenever you put a sticker on this enchantment, it deals damage equal to the number of o's in name stickers on this enchantment to any target.

Trial and Error

Whenever Trial and Error is countered or fizzles, you may copy it and choose new targets for the copy.
Trial and Error deals 3 damage to any target.

Thud-for-Duds

Whenever you crank this Contraption, roll two six-sided dice. This Contraption deals damage to target creature equal to the difference between those results.

Water Gun Balloon Game

As this artifact enters, each player puts a pop! counter on "0."
Whenever a player casts a spell, move that player's pop! counter up one.
Whenever a player's pop! counter hits "5," that player creates a 5/5 pink Giant Teddy Bear creature token and resets all pop! counters to "0."

Yet Another Aether Vortex

All creatures have haste.
Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.
Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.

Creepy Crawler

Menace, reach
Whenever Creepy Crawler deals combat damage to a player who is afraid of you, that player discards a card and you draw a card. (An opponent is afraid of you if a Horror, Nightmare, enchantment, or face-down creature you control entered the battlefield or attacked them this turn.)

Ineffable Blessing

As this enchantment enters, choose white-bordered or silver-bordered.
Whenever a creature you control with the chosen border enters, draw a card.

Your Wish Is My Command

You may cast an instant or sorcery spell from your sideboard. If you cast a modal spell this way, you may choose an additional mode. (A modal spell lets you choose one or more modes from a bulleted list.)

Omenpath to Naya

Vanishing 4 (This land enters the battlefield with four time counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter from it. When the last is removed, sacrifice it.)
{T}: Add {R}, {G}, or {W}.

Man of Measure

As long as you're shorter than an opponent, Man of Measure gets +0/+1 and has first strike.
As long as you're taller than an opponent, Man of Measure gets +1/+0.

Cardboard Carapace

Enchant creature
For each other card named Cardboard Carapace you have with you outside the game, enchanted creature gets +1/+1.

Phyrexian Librarian

Flying, trample
At the beginning of your upkeep, exile the top card of your library and balance it on your body.
When a balanced card falls or touches another balanced card, sacrifice this creature.

Steamflogger of the Month

When this creature enters, it assembles a Contraption for each Contraption you control. (To assemble a Contraption, put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Night Brushwagg Ringmaster

{TK}{TK} — Menace
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Persist (When this permanent dies, if it had no -1/-1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a -1/-1 counter on it.)
{TK}{TK} — 2/3
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 10/10

Jeskai Baller

When you cast this spell, create a 1/1 white Athlete creature token.
Rebound (If you cast this spell from your hand, exile it as it resolves. At the beginning of your next upkeep, you may cast this card from exile without paying its mana cost.)

Narrow-Minded Baloney Fireworks

{TK}{TK} — Whenever this creature attacks, you gain 2 life.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Vigilance, reach
{TK}{TK} — 2/4
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 7/7

Sorry

Before any player casts a spell with the same name as a card in any graveyard, that player may say "sorry." If they don't, any other player may say "sorry" as the spell is being cast. When another player says "sorry" this way, counter the spell.
Whenever a player says "sorry" at any other time, Sorry deals 2 damage to that player.

The Hunter

{T}: Target creature you control gets +1/+1 until end of turn.

Snazzy Aether Homunculus

{TK}{TK} — {1}: Target creature gains all creature types until end of turn.
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Magecraft — Whenever you cast or copy an instant or sorcery spell, draw a card.
{TK}{TK} — 2/4
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 8/7

Big Boa Constrictor

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. Target opponent loses life equal to the result.

Carnival Barker

{T}: You have thirty seconds to laud a creature you control to any people outside the game. Until end of turn, that creature gains trample and haste and gets +X/+0, where X is the number of those people who applauded. Activate only as a sorcery and only once.

Hot Fix

You have ten seconds to look at and rearrange the cards in your library. At the end of those ten seconds, if you're touching one or more of those cards, shuffle.

Trash Bin

Visit — Mill two cards, then return a card at random from your graveyard to your hand. (To mill a card, a player puts the top card of their library into their graveyard.)

Infernal Offering

Choose an opponent. You and that player each sacrifice a creature. Each player who sacrificed a creature this way draws two cards.
Choose an opponent. Return a creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield, then that player returns a creature card from their graveyard to the battlefield.

Queue of Beetles

Haste
The stack is now first in, first out instead of last in, first out. (The first spell or ability on the stack is the first one to resolve.)

Avatar of Me

This spell costs {1} more to cast for each ten years you've been alive.
Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½.
Avatar of Me is the color of your eyes.

Mirrored Lotus

Reflect {0} (As this enters, each opponent may pay {0}. When they do, they create a token copy of this except it lacks this ability.)
{T}, Exile Mirrored Lotus: Add three mana of any one color.

Flavor Judge

{T}: Choose target spell or ability that targets a permanent you control. Then ask a person outside the game if the story of what will happen makes sense. If they say no, sacrifice this creature and counter that spell or ability.

Ruination

Frenemy of the Guildpact

Protection from enemy-colored multicolored (This creature can't be blocked, targeted, dealt damage, enchanted, or equipped by anything that's two enemy colors, such as blue and green.)

Tempt with Vengeance

Tempting offer — Create X 1/1 red Elemental creature tokens with haste. Each opponent may create X 1/1 red Elemental creature tokens with haste. For each opponent who does, create X 1/1 red Elemental creature tokens with haste.

Mesa Chicken

Stand up, Flap your arms, Cluck like a chicken: This creature gains flying until end of turn.

Assembled Ensemble

Vigilance
Assembled Ensemble's power is equal to the number of Robots you control.
Whenever you cast a spell with an artifact creature in its art, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

_____

{1}: This card's name becomes the card name of your choice. Activate anywhere, anytime.

Knight of the Kitchen Sink

First strike, protection from black borders (Nothing with a black border can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Noble Banneret

Draft this card face up.
As you draft a creature card, you may reveal it, note its name, then turn this card face down.
As long as you control one or more creatures with a name you noted for cards named Noble Banneret, this creature and those creatures get +1/+1 and have lifelink.

Pippa, Duchess of Dice

{2}{G}, {T}: Roll a six-sided die. It becomes a green Die creature token with power and toughness each equal to its result.
{2}{U}, {T}: Reroll any die. (Activate only any time it makes sense.)

Pools of Becoming

At the beginning of your end step, put the cards in your hand on the bottom of your library in any order, then draw that many cards.
Whenever chaos ensues, reveal the top three cards of your planar deck. Each of the revealed cards' chaos abilities triggers. Then put the revealed cards on the bottom of your planar deck in any order.

Split Screen

When this artifact enters, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it.
Play with your libraries' top cards revealed.
When this artifact leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.

Chivalrous Chevalier

Flying
When this creature enters, return a creature you control to its owner's hand unless you compliment an opponent.

Bone Rattler

When Bone Rattler is put into your graveyard from anywhere, exile it. When you do, create four Reassembling Skeleton token cards and put them into your graveyard.

Boomflinger

Whenever you crank this Contraption, roll two six-sided dice. This Contraption deals damage to target player or planeswalker equal to the difference between those results.

Simic Growth Chamber

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, return a land you control to its owner's hand.
{T}: Add {G}{U}.

Indicate

Booster Tutor

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of them into your hand. (Remove that card from your deck before beginning a new game.)

Abrupt Decay

This spell can't be countered.
Destroy target nonland permanent with mana value 3 or less.

Chatzuk, Mighty Guitarist

Banding (Just ask around until you find someone who knows.)
Creature spells you cast with banding cost {2} less to cast.
Whenever two or more creatures you control attack in a band, each creature in that band gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each creature in that band.

Refibrillator

Whenever you crank this Contraption, return target creature card from your graveyard to your hand.

Ignacio of Myra's Marvels

As Ignacio of Myra's Marvels enters, choose armor, blood, book, bottle, fang, fire, scroll, spear, sword, or water.
Whenever you cast a spell with the chosen object in its art, create two Treasure tokens.
Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

Domesticated Watercourse

Domesticated Watercourse enters tapped.
{T}: Add {U} or {B}.
{U}{B}: Until end of turn, Domesticated Watercourse becomes an Equipment artifact with equip {2}.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, draw a card.

Bag Check

Counter target spell, then ask a person outside the game if that spell looks dangerous to them. If they say yes, draw a card, then discard a card.

As this enchantment enters, choose odd or even.
Whenever a creature you control with a collector number of the chosen value enters, draw a card.