Jasconian Isle

(Jasconian Isle isn't a spell, it's affected by summoning sickness, it's blue, and it has "{T}: Add {U}.")
Jasconian Isle enters tapped.
Jasconian Isle doesn't untap during your untap step.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay {U}{U}. If you do, untap Jasconian Isle.

Mountain Mover

Flying, haste
Whenever Mountain Mover enters or attacks, put a Mountain card from outside the game underneath it.
When Mountain Mover leaves the battlefield, put all cards underneath it onto the battlefield.
Crew 3

Captain Rex Nebula

At the beginning of combat on your turn, choose target nonland permanent you control. Until end of turn, it becomes a Vehicle artifact with base power and toughness each equal to its mana value, and it gains crew 2 and "Crash Land — Whenever this Vehicle deals damage, roll a six-sided die. If the result is equal to this Vehicle's mana value, sacrifice this Vehicle, then it deals that much damage to any target."

Noxious Bayou

{T}: Add {B} or {G}. You get a poison counter.

Astroquarium

When this artifact enters, you may put an art sticker on it.
{1}, {T}: Until end of turn, target creature becomes a blue Shark with base power and toughness 4/4. If the cracks in this artifact's art are completely covered, that creature becomes a blue Octopus with base power and toughness 8/8 instead. Activate only as a sorcery.

Personal Decoy

Personal Decoy enters with a number of loyalty counters on it equal to your life total. If it would leave the battlefield, exile it instead of putting it anywhere else. You can't be attacked.
+1: You gain 1 life.
−4: Draw a card.

Common Courtesy

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.
When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice this enchantment.

Queue of Beetles

Haste
The stack is now first in, first out instead of last in, first out. (The first spell or ability on the stack is the first one to resolve.)

Land Aid '04

Search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. If you sang a song the whole time you were searching and shuffling, you may untap that land.

Sacrifice Play

A person outside the game chooses an attacking or blocking creature target opponent controls. That player sacrifices that creature.

Standing Army

As long as you're standing, this creature has vigilance.

Scavenger Hunt

Visit — Choose "a vampire or zombie," "fire, lightning, or an explosion," or "a metallic creature" at random. You have ten seconds to search your library and reveal a card with the chosen item in its art. If you do, claim the prize! Then shuffle.
Prize — You get {TK}{TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own. Sacrifice Scavenger Hunt and open an Attraction.

Priority Boarding

Whenever you roll a die, you may reveal the top card of your library. Do this only once each turn. Whenever you reveal a card with mana value less than the result this way, you may exile it. If you do, you may play it this turn.

Trivia Contest

Visit — An opponent chooses blue card, enchantment card, or creature type, then mills a card. You have ten seconds to name something from the chosen category that starts with the same letter as the milled card. If you do, claim the prize!
Prize — You get {TK}{TK}{TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own. Sacrifice Trivia Contest and open an Attraction.

You're in Command

Choose target creature you own and control. That creature becomes your commander. Any other commanders you have are no longer your commander. (That creature starts with a commander tax of {0}.)

Delighted Killbot

M'Odo, the Gnarled Oracle

Eminence — {X}, Discard a card: Target player reveals cards from the top of their library until they reveal a creature card with converted mana cost X or less. Put that card onto the battlefield under your control, then that player shuffles the rest into their library. Activate this ability only if M'Odo, the Gnarled Oracle is on the battlefield or in the command zone.

Emissary's Ploy

(Start the game with this conspiracy face up in the command zone.)
Before drawing your opening hand, choose 1, 2, or 3.
You may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast creature spells with mana value equal to the chosen number.

Jund 'Em Out

Retrace (Sorry, no room for reminder text.)
Choose one at random. Create a copy of the chosen card. You may cast the copy without paying its mana cost.
• Abrupt Decay
• Blightning
• Bloodbraid Elf
• Lightning Bolt
• Liliana of the Veil
• Tarmogoyf

Alexander Clamilton

Whenever you cast a wordy spell, scry 2. (A spell is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)
{1}{R}, {T}: Choose target creature you don't control. Reveal the top card of your library. Alexander Clamilton gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of lines of rules text of the revealed card. Alexander Clamilton fights that creature.

Destroy target creature. Its controller creates two 1/2 red Half creature tokens.

Smelt

Smelt // Herd // Saw

Squirrel Squatters

When this creature enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
Whenever this creature attacks, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token that's tapped and attacking for each Attraction you've visited this turn.

Animate Graveyard

Enchant your graveyard
Enchanted graveyard is a creature on the battlefield with base power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It has the text boxes of all creature cards in it. It's still a graveyard.
If enchanted graveyard would leave the battlefield, instead exile this Aura.

Second City

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast your second spell in a turn. When that mana is spent, create a Deep Dish Pizza token. (It's a Food artifact with "{3}, {T}, Sacrifice this token: You gain 3 life and draw a card.")

Werewolf Lightning Mage

{TK}{TK} — Landfall — Whenever a land enters under your control, put a +1/+1 counter on this permanent.
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — Whenever a creature blocks this creature, that creature gets -4/-4 until end of turn.
{TK}{TK} — 4/1
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 3/5

World-Bottling Kit

{5}, Sacrifice this artifact: Choose a Magic set. Exile all permanents with that set's expansion symbol except for basic lands.

Phyrexian Librarian

Flying, trample
At the beginning of your upkeep, exile the top card of your library and balance it on your body.
When a balanced card falls or touches another balanced card, sacrifice this creature.

Bridge from Below

Whenever a nontoken creature is put into your graveyard from the battlefield, if this card is in your graveyard, create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token.
When a creature is put into an opponent's graveyard from the battlefield, if this card is in your graveyard, exile this card.

Throat Wolf

You may cast Throat Wolf during an opponent's combat phase.
Firstest strike (This creature deals combat damage to creatures before creatures with first strike.)
After each opponent's first combat phase of each turn, there is an additional combat phase. Only Throat Wolf can attack during that combat phase.

Who // What // When // Where // Why

Work a Double

Assemble two Contraptions. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets. Then repeat this process.)

Hammer Helper

Gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature and roll a six-sided die. Until end of turn, it gains haste and gets +X/+0, where X is the result.

Cruel Entertainment

Choose target player and another target player. The first player controls the second player during the second player's next turn, and the second player controls the first player during the first player's next turn.

Rock Lobster

Creatures named Scissors Lizard can't attack or block.

Archdemon of Paliano

Draft this card face up.
As long as this card is face up during the draft, you can't look at booster packs and must draft cards at random. After you draft three cards this way, turn this card face down. (You may look at cards as you draft them.)
Flying

Slimy Burrito Illusion

{TK}{TK} — Bushido 2 (Whenever this creature blocks or becomes blocked, it gets +2/+2 until end of turn.)
{TK}{TK}{TK} — Double strike
{TK}{TK} — 2/4
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 5/6

Jermane, Pride of the Circus

{G}, {T}: Put two +1/+1 counters on target creature with four or more legs.
{1}{G}{G}, {T}: Until end of turn, all creatures able to block target creature with four or more legs do so.

Complaints Clerk

When this creature enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
Whenever you roll a 1, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Aerial Toastmaster

Flying
{3}{W}, Sacrifice another artifact: This creature assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Miss Demeanor

Flying, first strike
At the beginning of each other player's upkeep, you may compliment that player on their game play. If you don't, sacrifice this creature.

Homing Sliver

Each Sliver card in each player's hand has slivercycling {3}.
Slivercycling {3} ({3}, Discard this card: Search your library for a Sliver card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.)

Bat-

Flying
At the beginning of each end step, if an opponent lost 3 or more life this turn,
Augment {1}{B} ({1}{B}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Clam-I-Am

If you roll a 3 on a six-sided die, you may reroll that die.

Goblin Blastronauts

When this creature enters, open an Attraction.
Whenever you roll a 6, you may copy the spell, ability, or Attraction visit that caused you to roll that die. You may choose new targets for the copy.

Clowning Around

Create two 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature tokens, then roll a six-sided die. If the result is equal to or less than the number of Robots you control, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Madlands

Madlands enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.
Madness {0} (If you discard this card, discard it into exile. When you do, play it for its madness cost or put it into your graveyard. You can play a land only during your turn and only if you have an available land play remaining.)

Kiddie Coaster

Visit — Creatures you control get +1/+0 until end of turn.

Plane-Merge Elf

Landship — At the beginning of your upkeep, you may look at the top card of your library. If it's a land, you may reveal it. If you do, create a 1/1 green Elf Warrior creature token.
Kinfall — Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control, if it shares a creature type with Plane-Merge Elf, creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn.

Vindictive Lich

When this creature dies, choose one or more. Each mode must target a different player.
• Target opponent sacrifices a creature of their choice.
• Target opponent discards two cards.
• Target opponent loses 5 life.

Dart Throw

Visit — Throw a card you own from outside the game onto the playing area from a distance of three feet (about one meter). If that card touches this Attraction, claim the prize!
Prize — Create two 2/2 pink Teddy Bear creature tokens. Sacrifice this Attraction, then open an Attraction.

Vorthos, Steward of Myth

As Vorthos, Steward of Myth enters, choose a named Magic character.
Each spell you cast with the chosen character in its name, flavor text, or art costs {W}{U}{B}{R}{G} less to cast. This effect reduces only the amount of colored mana you pay.

Claire D'Loon, Joy Sculptor

When Claire D'Loon, Joy Sculptor enters, for the rest of the game, tokens you own become cards that are still tokens. (They continue to exist after they leave the battlefield.)
{1}{W}{U}, {T}: You may put a token from your graveyard or hand onto the battlefield.

"Lifetime" Pass Holder

This creature enters tapped.
When this creature dies, open an Attraction.
Whenever you roll to visit your Attractions, if you roll a 6, you may return this card from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Muraganda Petroglyphs

Jetpack Death Seltzer

{TK}{TK} — Trample
{TK}{TK}{TK} — {3}: Monstrosity 3. (If this creature isn't monstrous, put three +1/+1 counters on it and it becomes monstrous.)
{TK}{TK}{TK} — 2/7
{TK}{TK}{TK}{TK} — 6/5

Restless Vents

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.
{1}{B}{R}: Until end of turn, this land becomes a 2/3 black and red Insect creature with menace. It's still a land.
Whenever this land attacks, you may discard a card. If you do, draw a card.

Form of the Mulldrifter

When Form of the Mulldrifter enters, draw two cards.
You may cast creature cards from your hand as though they were the card Mulldrifter. (You can still evoke this way. They're Mulldrifters.)

Uktabi Kong

Trample
When this creature enters, destroy all artifacts.
Tap two untapped Apes you control: Create a 1/1 green Ape creature token.

Black Hole

Destroy target creature and up to X other target creatures, where X is the number of Attractions you've visited this turn.

Jeskai Baller

When you cast this spell, create a 1/1 white Athlete creature token.
Rebound (If you cast this spell from your hand, exile it as it resolves. At the beginning of your next upkeep, you may cast this card from exile without paying its mana cost.)

Acornelia, Fashionable Filcher

Whenever you cast a spell with a squirrel in its art, you get {A} (an acorn counter).
Whenever a Squirrel you control enters or dies, you get {A}.
{2}{B}, Pay X {A}: Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn.
{G}, Pay X {A}: Target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn.

Burning Cinder Fury of Crimson Chaos Fire

Whenever any player taps a permanent, that player chooses one of their opponents. The chosen player gains control of that permanent at the beginning of the next end step.
At the beginning of each player's end step, if that player didn't tap any nonland permanents that turn, this enchantment deals 3 damage to that player.

B-I-N-G-O

Trample
Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value.
This creature gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.

Clown Extruder

Visit — Create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Muraganda Eldrazi

Devoid (This card has no color.)
Deworded (This creature counts as having no abilities.)
When you cast this spell, put a primeval counter on target creature. (A creature with a primeval counter loses all abilities and can't gain abilities.)

Wizard from Beyond

Create a Character (Any nonlegendary creature can choose this as its Background. It becomes legendary and can be your commander.)
Commander creatures you own are Clerics, Rogues, Warriors, and Wizards in addition to their other types.
As long as you have a full party, if an ability of a creature you control triggers, that ability triggers an additional time.

Super-Duper Lost

Put target creature into its owner's library just beneath the top X cards of that library, where X is the number of doors you can see from your seat.

Extremely Slow Zombie

Last strike (This creature deals combat damage after creatures without last strike.)

Soul Swindler

As long as you've visited an Attraction this turn, this creature has indestructible. (Damage and effects that say "destroy" don't destroy it.)
When this creature enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Once More with Feeling

Exile all permanents and all cards from all graveyards. Each player shuffles their hand into their library, then draws seven cards. Each player's life total becomes 10. Exile Once More with Feeling.
DCI ruling — A deck can have only one card named Once More with Feeling.

Jester's Sombrero

{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Look at target player's sideboard, choose three cards from it, and remove those cards from the match.

Question Elemental?

Did you know this creature has flying?
Are you aware that any time you say something that isn't a question, when a player points out this fact first, they gain control of this creature?

Monoxa, Midway Manager

Whenever you roll a 3 or higher, Monoxa gains first strike until end of turn. If the roll was 4 or higher, it gains menace until end of turn. If the roll was 5 or higher, it gains lifelink until end of turn.
{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

Parasitic Impetus

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and is goaded. (It attacks each combat if able and attacks a player other than you if able.)
Whenever enchanted creature attacks, its controller loses 2 life and you gain 2 life.

S.N.O.T.

You may have S.N.O.T. enter stuck to another creature named S.N.O.T. If you do, all those creatures form a single creature.
S.N.O.T.'s power and toughness are each equal to the square of the number of cards named S.N.O.T. stuck together to form it. (One is a 1/1, two are a 4/4, three are a 9/9, and four are a 16/16. If you manage to get -1 S.N.O.T.s stuck together, it's a 1/1.)

Tusk and Whiskers

Whenever you put an ability sticker on a creature, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.
{2}{G}{W}, {T}: You get {TK}. You may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Jamming Device

Whenever you crank this Contraption, creatures target player controls get -1/-1 until end of turn.

Ruff, Underdog Champ

All Hounds are Dogs. (We'll errata this to be true.)
First strike, lifelink
Underdog — If you've lost a game this match, Ruff, Underdog Champ and other Dogs you control get +1/+1.

Far Out

Rather than choose the indicated number of modes for spells and abilities you control, you may choose one or more modes. You can't choose any mode more than once.

Amped Up

This spell costs {1} less to cast for each electrical socket in a wall or floor you can see from your seat.
Gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature. Until end of turn, it gets +3/+0 and gains haste.

Stop That

Target player discards a card.
Gotcha — If an opponent audibly flicks the cards in their hand, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return this card from your graveyard to your hand.

Kindly Cognician

Spells you cast that refer to artifacts or Contraptions in their rules text cost {1} less to cast.

Steamflogger Temp

{6}, {T}: This creature assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Ladies' Knight

Flying
Spells cast by players wearing at least one item of women's clothing cost {1} less to cast. (You can define women's clothing as you see fit. Be reasonable.)

Unicycle

First strike, haste
Equipped creature has first strike and haste.
Equip {1}
Crew 1

A Good Thing

Spells and abilities you control can't destroy, exile, target, or cause you to sacrifice A Good Thing.
At the beginning of your upkeep, double your life total. Then, if you have 1,000 or more life, you lose the game.

Arcanum Wings

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature has flying.
Aura swap {2}{U} ({2}{U}: Exchange this Aura with an Aura card in your hand.)

Rod of Spanking

{2}, {T}: This artifact deals 1 damage to target player. Then untap this artifact unless that player says "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"

Necro-Impotence

Skip your untap step.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay X life. If you do, untap X permanents.
Pay ½ life: Exile the top card of your library face down. Put that card into your hand at the beginning of the next end step.

Knife and Death

Just a second (As long as this spell is on the stack, players can't move permanents.)
One at a time, throw ten cards you own from outside the game onto the playing area from a distance of at least three feet (about one meter). For each of those cards, Knife and Death deals 1 damage to each creature or planeswalker you don't control that card is touching. You gain life equal to the damage dealt this way.

Lutri, Pauper Otter

Companion — Your starting deck contains no cards with a silver, gold, orange, or purple expansion symbol. (If this card is your chosen companion, you may put it into your hand from outside the game for {3} as a sorcery.)
When Lutri, Pauper Otter enters the battlefield, discard your hand, then draw three cards.

Tibalt the Chaotic

+1: Cast a copy of one of the following cards chosen at random—Ignorant Bliss, Crack the Earth, Blazing Volley.
−3: Cast a copy of one of the following cards chosen at random—Seething Song, Dance with Devils, Flamebreak.
−6: Cast a copy of one of the following cards chosen at random—Hellion Eruption, Insurrection, Warp World.

Ghoulish Impetus

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1, has deathtouch, and is goaded.
When enchanted creature dies, return this card to the battlefield at the beginning of the next end step.

Processing Plant

Processing Plant enters the battlefield tapped.
When Processing Plant enters the battlefield, you may put a card an opponent owns from exile into that player's graveyard. If you do, untap Processing Plant. Otherwise, exile the top card of each opponent's library.
{T}: Add {W}, {U}, {B}, or {C}.

Bronze Calendar

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice this artifact.

Magic Word

Enchant creature
As this Aura enters, choose a word.
Whisper the chosen word: Tap enchanted creature.

Gobland

(Gobland isn't a spell, it's affected by summoning sickness, and it has "{T}: Add {R}.")
Gobland can't block.

Labro Bot

When this creature enters, return target host card or card with augment from your graveyard to your hand.

Storybook Ride

Visit — Exile the top X cards of your library, where X is the number of Attractions you've visited this turn (including this one). You may play those cards this turn. At the beginning of the next end step, if any of those cards remain exiled, put them on the bottom of your library in any order.

Squirrel Farm

{1}{G}: Reveal a card in your hand, covering the artist credit. Target opponent guesses the artist. If they guess wrong, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Moniker Mage

{U}, Say your middle name: This creature gains shroud until end of turn.
{U}, Say an opponent's middle name: This creature gains flying until end of turn.

Taiga Stadium

Taiga Stadium enters tapped unless you control a white, blue, or black permanent.
{T}: Add {R} or {G}.