{"ops":[{"insert":{"image":"https://lede-admin.dailydot.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/69/2023/11/Elmo-Fire.jpg?w=1024"}},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"header":2},"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"italic":true,"bold":true},"insert":"\"They are rage, brutal, without mercy. But you, you will be worse. Rip and tear until it is done.\""},{"attributes":{"header":2},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"-- The Seraphim"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"underline":true,"bold":true},"insert":"General Overview"},{"insert":"\nGather 'round and celebrate my favorite aspects of Magic -- the color red, cheap jank, wanton violence, and an unending hate campaign against Sol Rings. Just shuffle in the package containing your preferred flavor of carnage and enjoy the fireworks. Or roll a d6 and let fate decide your weapon.\n\nIt should be noted that everything in this deck is built to my own tastes and with concessions for a bunch of pet cards, not for competitiveness. The "},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Used Car Sales "},{"insert":"package is actively bad but, hey, I think it's funny.\n\nSpecific package information and strategies detailed below.\n\n\n"},{"attributes":{"underline":true,"bold":true},"insert":"Communism"},{"attributes":{"header":1},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"italic":true,"bold":true},"insert":"\"He that goes a borrowing goes a sorrowing.\""},{"attributes":{"header":2},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"-- Benjamin Franklin"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Bracket"},{"insert":": Low 3, probably\n\nPlay this if you like...\nWagging your finger threateningly"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Things on leashes"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Gashapon"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Don't play this if you like...\nBeing on your phone between turns"},{"attributes":{"list":"ordered"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Kindness"},{"attributes":{"list":"ordered"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Bringing food to a potluck"},{"attributes":{"list":"ordered"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\nThis package is all about borrowing your friends' things, beating them with said things, and then throwing them in the trash. Tends to play out in a control-centric manner with "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Threaten"}},{"insert":" flavor.\n\nThe commander here is "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Starke of Rath"}},{"insert":" who looks underwhelming when taken at face value. Sure he can destroy something, but then we have to give him away permanently? Seems like a scam. And as it turns out, it is...if you don't just choose to give him back to yourself. If we read carefully, we see that Starke goes to the permanent's "},{"attributes":{"italic":true},"insert":"controller"},{"insert":" not owner. With this revelation, we realize that if we steal opponents things and then Starke them while we still control them, he stays put on our side of the board. Pretty neat.\n\nThe ultimate wincon is to take enough things that don't belong to us that we win the war of attrition and grind everyone else into irrelevancy. (Seriously, leave the "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Kiki-Jiki, Mirror Breaker"}},{"insert":" combo in if you can 'cause this deck can stall things out without it.)\n\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Gameplay Tips / Best Cards"},{"insert":"\n\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Starke of Rath"}},{"insert":" is a surprisingly good aggro deterrent. He can block in one place, then activate to kill another attacker, all while avoiding damage as he disappears to someone else's board. Unfortunately we have to lose control of him in this case but it is sometimes worth it. In a similar vein, he's effectively the equivalent of putting a flintlock on the table and makes opponents scared to anger us lest we snipe their favorite toy."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Radiate"}},{"insert":" /"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Radiant Performer"}},{"insert":" turns any single target theft spell into an "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Insurrection"}},{"insert":" (except "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Word of Seizing"}},{"insert":" as it has Split Second). Also turns "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Shivan Harvest"}},{"insert":" or "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Frenzied Fugue"}},{"insert":" + "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Greater Gargadon"}},{"insert":" into MLD so tread carefully..."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Kiki-Jiki, Mirror Breaker"}},{"insert":" & "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Zealous Conscripts"}},{"insert":" is an infinite combo resulting in unlimited hasty 3/3s. I find it helpful as a way to end games that are dragging, but it can easily be removed."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Liquimetal Torque"}},{"insert":" allows you to Starke any nonland permanent on board."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Greater Gargadon"}},{"insert":". Free sac outlet for almost anything we care about that also turns into a serviceable threat on board. "},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Cursed Recording"}},{"insert":". Doubles all of our Threaten effects. Has a big downside but we can just remove it with Starke's ability before it hurt's us."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Homeward Path"}},{"insert":". Having this on board allows us to Starke every turn cycle and then get him back for free. Can be found early with "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Expedition Map"}},{"insert":"."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Return the Favor"}},{"insert":". The card just wins games on it's own. Being able to copy triggered abilities is nutty and holding it completely changes how I analyze each game action. You haven't lived until you've copied an opponent's game winning "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Grapeshot"}},{"insert":" storm trigger."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Hideous Taskmaster"}},{"insert":". Turn's out it's usually real hard to recover if you get hit with Annihilator 4. Use to neuter the most threatening opponent."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Weak Points / Things to Watch Out For"},{"insert":"\n\nCombo decks. If we don't have anything good to steal or destroy, our game plan kinda goes belly-up."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\n\n*credit and thanks to hyugafan for the inspiration for this one: "},{"attributes":{"link":"https://moxfield.com/decks/PWEFPfQcn0e8Xuv5arX27Q"},"insert":"https://moxfield.com/decks/PWEFPfQcn0e8Xuv5arX27Q"},{"insert":"\n\n\n"},{"attributes":{"underline":true,"bold":true},"insert":"Forced Combat"},{"attributes":{"header":1},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"italic":true,"bold":true},"insert":"\"This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence.\""},{"attributes":{"header":2},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"-- Ben Elton"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Bracket"},{"insert":": 2\n\nPlay this if you like...\nHot samurai"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Barely controlled chaos"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Watching people bleed on each other"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Don't play this if you like...\nSubtlety"},{"attributes":{"list":"ordered"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Combos"},{"attributes":{"list":"ordered"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Long, boring games"},{"attributes":{"list":"ordered"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\nHere we have probably my favorite package, which is all about taking the gloves off, getting involved, and taking a few hits to the jaw. Plays like a mosh pit feels.\n\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Fumiko the Lowblood"}},{"insert":" leads the charge and has a couple of relevant abilities. First, she has Bushido which improves her effectiveness as a blocker, but only against a single target. In my experience, this is largely ignored by opponents and won't really save us in a straight-up slug fest. Second, however, she has one of the most beautiful lines in the game: \""},{"attributes":{"italic":true},"insert":"Creatures your opponents control attack each turn if able\"."},{"insert":" This is the secret sauce that the package is built around, with everything else setting us up to be the least enticing person to attack. Note, I have chosen not to include any goad effects here, instead choosing to try and walk the tightrope of forcing people to attack without excluding ourselves from the fun. The package would undeniably be stronger with these effects, but in my opinion they don't fit the spirit.\n\nThe dream wincon is to force someone to attack into you and then reflect the damage back to them with one of the spiteful creatures, such as "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Mogg Maniac"}},{"insert":". Otherwise just try to let people chew each other up and then swoop in to finish things off with "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Kazuul, Tyrant of the Cliffs"}},{"insert":"'s army of ogres.\n\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Gameplay Tips / Best Cards"},{"insert":"\n\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Laccolith Rig"}},{"insert":". Put this on an opponent's massive creature and if it tries to do anything you don't like redirect all it's damage to one of your reflection creatures for a K.O."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Arcbond"}},{"insert":". If this is cast when we have a board full of spite creatures it can easily create a chain that ends the game. Note that we get individual triggers so we can order them in such a way that opponents' resolve first. Similar effect with "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Showstopping Surprise"}},{"insert":" but this one is meant to be cast on Fumiko after she gets a Bushido trigger."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Chaosphere"}},{"insert":". Makes flyers think twice about attacking us which covers up one of the weak spots in this package."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Hylda's Crown of Winter"}},{"insert":". Draws tons of cards because opponents are forced to attack, resulting in lots of tapped creatures. Can also keep us safe from an anticipated attacker if needed."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Blind Fury"}},{"insert":". Prevents a creature from trampling over our reflectors and often results in a trigger for lethal damage."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"General's Regalia"}},{"insert":". Allows us to redirect face damage from a single source onto a spite creature. "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Crackle with Power"}},{"insert":", anyone?"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Mass Hysteria"}},{"insert":". Make more things attack = make more fun. Try not to drop this one without at least one piece of attack discouragement, however."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Sentinel"}},{"insert":". It's the perfect blocker."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Weak Points / Things to Watch Out For"},{"insert":"\n\nEvasive creatures. We especially have very little protection against flying and if we are forcing everyone to attack we put ourselves in a bad spot."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Wide boards. We are set up to deal with big threats, not a lot of threats. Look to wipe a wide board if able."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\n\n"},{"attributes":{"underline":true,"bold":true},"insert":"Gobbos"},{"attributes":{"header":1},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"italic":true,"bold":true},"insert":"\"If you’re killed, you’ve lost an important part of your life.”"},{"attributes":{"header":2},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"-- Brooke Shields"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Bracket"},{"insert":": 2\n\nPlay this if you like...\nShitty little guys"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Terraforming"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Attacking without inhibitions"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Don't play this if you like...\nCars, the movie"},{"attributes":{"list":"ordered"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"That one goblin"},{"attributes":{"list":"ordered"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Strong men"},{"attributes":{"list":"ordered"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\nThis one is all about showing up, trying your best, and getting shot in face for the effort. This is a surprisingly midrange goblin package that rolls out slower than most but also builds in a level of inevitability that is usually lacking with everyone's favorite little shit-stirrers.\n\nThe horde is led by "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Ib Halfheart, Goblin Tactician"}},{"insert":", everyone's favorite and most well-known goblin commander... Ib has two abilities. The first turns all of his friends into bombs, and while it is cute and cranks the fear factor a little bit, we largely ignore it in this build and just treat it like a fun little surprise when it happens. The second ability, which allows us to mine our landbase for money is where true power lies, as any self-respecting dwarf could attest. You see, what Ib can do that not a lot of other creatures can do is build an army, "},{"attributes":{"italic":true},"insert":"on demand. "},{"insert":"Need a couple blockers? Just blow up the mountains and they come crawling out. Need to close the game out next turn? Blow them all up, you won't need them later anyway. \n\nThe easiest wincon is to build a respectable goblin horde through Ib himself, "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Searslicer Goblin"}},{"insert":", or "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Siege-Gang Lieutenant"}},{"insert":"and then \"allow\" them to lend their bodies as fuel for the cause. The most straightforward way to do this is one of the direct burn effects, such as "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Massive Raid"}},{"insert":". Alternatively, we can kinda reach the same conclusion by adding booby traps to the board ("},{"insert":{"card-link":"Pashalik Mons"}},{"insert":" / "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Boggart Shenanigans"}},{"insert":" / "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Hissing Iguanar"}},{"insert":") and then pushing our guys down a hill ("},{"insert":{"card-link":"Goblin Trashmaster"}},{"insert":" / "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Goblin Bombardment"}},{"insert":" / "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Mogg Raider"}},{"insert":". Or, if we're facing greedy opponents, "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Mercadia's Downfall"}},{"insert":" can force them to wish they paid their property taxes. Finally, "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Devilish Valet"}},{"insert":" is a 64 damage bazooka if we sac at least 6 lands to Ib, and it only gets better from there.\n\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Gameplay Tips / Best Cards"},{"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Gerrard's Hourglass Pendant"}},{"insert":". With a bit of creativity, this allows us to sac our landbase and every creature we have on board for fun effects, then simply bring it all back like it was a fit of amnesia."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Goblin Assassin"}},{"insert":". We make a lot of goblin tokens and this means each one has a chance at killing 1-3 opponent creatures. Now that's value!"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Devilish Valet"}},{"insert":". As stated above, this kills someone if dropped late game with our commander on board."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Invasion Plans"}},{"insert":". Let's us force all of our opponents creatures to block one of our tokens, simultaneously dealing 4 to all their creatures and punching holes for the rest of our attackers. We have to be sure to not cast this until we can go for lethal, or close to it, because it is a global effect and can backfire spectacularly."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Spiteful Repossession"}},{"insert":". Tap all lands for mana, sac them all to Ib for goblin friends, then dome everyone for big damage and a massive pile of treasure. Again, do this to only to end the game because we have effectively "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Armageddon"}},{"insert":"ed ourselves."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Descendants' Fury"}},{"insert":". Turn tokens into better guys. Simple goblin math right there."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\n\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Weak Points / Things to Watch Out For"},{"insert":"\n\nBoard wipes hurt pretty bad if we don't have any "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Pashalik Mons"}},{"insert":" style effects out."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Trample renders our tiny blockers ineffective."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Ghostly Prison"}},{"insert":" style effects really slow down the violence we can bring."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\n\n"},{"attributes":{"underline":true,"bold":true},"insert":"Group Slug"},{"attributes":{"header":1},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"italic":true,"bold":true},"insert":"\"I did mostly good things, except light things on fire.\""},{"attributes":{"header":2},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"-- Mark Hoppus"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Bracket"},{"insert":": 2\n\nPlay this if you like...\nKnives"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"The IRS"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Playing more than one game per night"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Don't play this if you like...\nYour friends"},{"attributes":{"list":"ordered"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Taking game actions"},{"attributes":{"list":"ordered"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Being a coward"},{"attributes":{"list":"ordered"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\nThis one goes out to all the freaks that just want to set the world on fire and see who burns out last. There's not a lot of nuance to speak of here we just want to make every game action hurt.\n\nThis package was honestly just spawned because I wanted a way to play "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Kamahl, Pit Fighter"}},{"insert":" in the command zone. I was struggling to make it viable in a 4 player format, but then I realized that his effectiveness is inversely related to a player's life total and so we need to bring those down fast so he has a shot at leaving his mark on the world. Still, there's definitely some games that he never gets cast. The one true benefit that Kamahl brings is that he can activate as soon as he comes down, so he won't be leaving the board without making someone hurt for it. Due to this I usually don't attack with him, even when possible, because I think he's better as a deterrent/response. I have saved my game before by activating Kamahl to kill someone on the stack when they had a lethal attack on me, which felt...revelatory.\n\nThe intended wincon is simply to try and navigate the self-imposed maze of barbed wire so that everyone else bleeds out first. Jigsaw would be proud.\n\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Gameplay Tips / Best Cards"},{"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Ojer Axonil, Deepest Might // Ojer Axonil, Deepest Might"}},{"insert":". A 400% increase in deck effectiveness. Will immediately put a target on our back but it's almost always worth it."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Chandra's Incinerator"}},{"insert":". Turns all of our noncreature damage into creature damage as well. Keeps the board clear which is usually one of our biggest problems."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Razorkin Needlehead"}},{"insert":". Drawing cards is an incredibly common action and this punishes it. Absolutely brutal when paired with "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Zenith Chronicler"}},{"insert":" or wheel effects."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Chandra's Pyreling"}},{"insert":". A really good blocker in a deck without many good blockers. I find it usually pumps itself 2-3 times before the attack step."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Burning Earth"}},{"insert":". Essentially asymmetrical due to our basic land base and an absolutely vicious effect. I also love "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Manabarbs"}},{"insert":" here but we have to be willing to also pay the price."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\n\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Weak Points / Things to Watch Out For"},{"insert":"\nPeople really don't like losing life This deck draws aggro and will result in being targeted even if we are no longer the threat. Comes with the territory, I suppose."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Combat-based decks can often out-scale our noncombat damage output."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\n\n"},{"attributes":{"underline":true,"bold":true},"insert":"Red Deck Wins"},{"attributes":{"header":1},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"italic":true,"bold":true},"insert":"\"I feel very comfortable going at full speed.\""},{"attributes":{"header":2},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"-- Steve Nash"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Bracket"},{"insert":": 2\n\nPlay this if you like...\nCars 2, the movie"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Counting on your hands"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Looking in the mirror every morning"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Don't play this if you like...\nFancy dinners"},{"attributes":{"list":"ordered"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Kaiju"},{"attributes":{"list":"ordered"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Thinking about what to do next turn"},{"attributes":{"list":"ordered"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\nMy take on adapting the classic Sligh/RDW philosophy for EDH. Feels like beating your opponents to death with a bag full of soap.\n\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Norin, Swift Survivalist"}},{"insert":" is a commander that uniquely enables us to attack as fast as possible. His ability makes it so that we will never lose a creature when attacking, unless we choose to. When combined with a tiny mana curve we can usually recast our entire board in second main if necessary, even if single creature got blocked. To follow this aggression up and in an attempt to scale for multiplayer, we also include as many "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Impact Tremors"}},{"insert":" effects as we can to capitalize on the quasi-blink strategy that we slip into.\n\nThe only real wincon is to get chip damage under people while they are still setting up and then follow up with burn to finish things off.\n\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Gameplay Tips / Best Cards"},{"insert":"\nWe almost always want to save all of our mana until second main so we can use it to recast anything that has been sent to exile."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Legion Loyalist"}},{"insert":". Pumps the board but the best bit here is that it prevents token chump blocks. Has been way more useful than I expected."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Signal Pest"}},{"insert":". Since most of our creatures are 1/1s, this essentially doubles the power of our attack."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Grenzo, Havoc Raiser"}},{"insert":". Generates card advantage, removes opponents options, and allows us to create holes and slip aggro. An all-star performer."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"All of the "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Impact Tremors"}},{"insert":" effects."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\n\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Weak Points / Things to Watch Out For"},{"insert":"\nThe deck struggles if nobody wants to block. If this is happening focus on a single player to try and force them to protect their life total."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"The format itself. This is not an archetype that scales well to EDH; there will always be a pretty low ceiling on this deck so don't expect to win a lot."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\n\n"},{"attributes":{"underline":true,"bold":true},"insert":"Used Car Sales"},{"attributes":{"header":1},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"italic":true,"bold":true},"insert":"\"There were times when I thought I would never own a car.\""},{"attributes":{"header":2},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"-- Victor Cruz"},{"attributes":{"header":3},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Bracket"},{"insert":": Lowwwww 2\n\nPlay this if you like...\nSharing"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Group projects"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Laughing"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Don't play this if you like...\nMaking an honest living"},{"attributes":{"list":"ordered"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"The game Magic the Gathering"},{"attributes":{"list":"ordered"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"Winning"},{"attributes":{"list":"ordered"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\nOnce upon a time I had a "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Bill Ferny, Bree Swindler"}},{"insert":" deck that was all about selling people \"horses\" (see "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Amoeboid Changeling"}},{"insert":") and then stealing them back in order to do it again. Because I was a good little capitalist, there was no wincon outside of making as much money as possible. It was terrible and I loved it, but eventually I let it go and I moved on to greener pastures. This is my attempt at recapturing the spirit of that deck, but in a red trench coat and with horses that are so bad I don't even want them back.\n\nHolding the command zone down is "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Hivis of the Scale"}},{"insert":"because, well, it's a red card. And who knows, maybe by turn 6 someone will have a sick dragon. Beyond that, there's a 1% chance that we find "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Draconic Destiny"}},{"insert":" which is actually kinda cool because then he lets us take any creature on the board. Ultimately though, like teeth on a fish, he's really just a medical mystery (seriously, he's not even a dragon...) that we don't have time to try and figure out.\n\nInstead, we're going in the back door and packing a whole bunch of creatures that can throw themselves at our opponents the moment they sense they're on the losing side. Particularly effective at defecting are "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Drooling Ogre"}},{"insert":", "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Goblin Cadets"}},{"insert":", "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Crag Saurian"}},{"insert":" and "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Fickle Efreet"}},{"insert":". "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Custody Battle"}},{"insert":" and "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Risky Move"}},{"insert":" do their best impressions of colonialism.\n\nSo what do we get out of this racket? Well, in the words of Mark Knopfler, \"money for nothing\", which comes via the suite of equipment that we can glue onto our double-agents before they run for the hills. That's right, no matter which country our children end up in, "},{"insert":{"card-link":"The Reaver Cleaver"}},{"insert":", "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Goldvein Pick"}},{"insert":", and "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Sword of the Animist"}},{"insert":" ensure that they still have an obligation to send money home from war. We can also strap them up with a "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Bloodforged Battle-Axe"}},{"insert":" or the actual "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Armory of Iroas"}},{"insert":" to ensure they don't forget to take their creatine while they're gone. Finally, because people tend to get miserly when they realize they're being scammed, we ensure that our boys still get their reps in with a suite of goad and/or forced combat effects, the cream of the crop being "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Disrupt Decorum"}},{"insert":".\n\nThe intended wincon is...unclear. Probably our best shot is hoping to end up with a big pile of treasure and then dropping a "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Depthshaker Titan"}},{"insert":" on it. Otherwise, we can always just play "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Confusion in the Ranks"}},{"insert":" and try to trade our garbage cards for other people's actual good Magic cards.\n\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Gameplay Tips / Best Cards"},{"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Adaptive Omnitool"}},{"insert":". Allows us to look at a lot of cards on attack and we pack enough artifacts that we usually hit at least one."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Bazaar Trader"}},{"insert":". The only effect we have that repeatedly makes opponents take our stuff. I don't really know if that's good but it's on brand? "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Bloodcrazed Neonate"}},{"insert":" or "},{"insert":{"card-link":"Slumbering Dragon"}},{"insert":" are interesting donation targets."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Custody Battle"}},{"insert":". Shuffles the creature around the board quite a bit which should result in more attacks. Groovy!"},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Draconic Destiny"}},{"insert":". Actually kinda useful. Turns any of our opponent's creatures into a dragon so it can be commandeered with Hivis. As a bonus, it returns itself to our hand if the creature dies so we can do it again."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":{"card-link":"Assault Suit"}},{"insert":". Staple a couple of treasure generating equipment to something, shove it in the suit, and watch the retirement account explode."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"},{"insert":"\n\n"},{"attributes":{"bold":true},"insert":"Weak Points / Things to Watch Out For"},{"insert":"\nThe biggest downside of this package is that it's meant to be a joke and it sucks. Don't show up to your LGS with this if you want to be respected among your peers."},{"attributes":{"list":"bullet"},"insert":"\n"}]}