Burning Cinder Fury of Crimson Chaos Fire

Whenever any player taps a permanent, that player chooses one of their opponents. The chosen player gains control of that permanent at the beginning of the next end step.
At the beginning of each player's end step, if that player didn't tap any nonland permanents that turn, this enchantment deals 3 damage to that player.

Temp of the Damned

As this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. This creature enters with a number of funk counters on it equal to the result.
At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a funk counter from this creature. If you can't, sacrifice it.

Snickering Squirrel

You may tap this creature to increase the result of a die any player rolled by 1.

Party Crasher

Haste
You can attack with this creature once each combat during each opponent's turn.

Red-Hot Hottie

Whenever this creature deals damage to a creature, put a third-degree-burn counter on that creature. It gains "At the beginning of each end step, sacrifice this creature unless you scream 'Aaah!' at the top of your lungs."

Just Desserts

Just Desserts deals π damage to target creature. (π is the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. (It's a smidgen more than 3.))

Gleemax

You choose all targets for all spells and abilities.

Goblin S.W.A.T. Team

Say "Goblin S.W.A.T. Team": Put a +1/+1 counter on this creature unless an opponent swats the table within five seconds. Activate only once each turn.

Standard Procedure

{1}, Reveal Standard Procedure from your hand: Choose an instant or sorcery card with mana value 3 or less currently legal in the Standard format. Standard Procedure becomes that card until end of turn.

Super-Duper Death Ray

Trample (This spell can deal excess damage to its target's controller.)
Super-Duper Death Ray deals 4 damage to target creature.

Togglodyte

This creature enters turned on.
Whenever a player casts a spell, toggle this creature's ON/OFF switch.
As long as this creature is turned off, it can't attack or block, and prevent all damage it would deal.

Six-y Beast

As this creature enters, you secretly put six or fewer +1/+1 counters on it, then an opponent guesses the number of counters. If that player guesses right, sacrifice this creature after it enters.

The Big Idea

{2}{B/R}{B/R}, {T}: Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Brainiac creature tokens equal to the result.
Tap three untapped Brainiacs you control: The next time you would roll a six-sided die, instead roll two six-sided dice and use the total of those results.

Spark Fiend

When this creature enters, roll two six-sided dice. If you rolled 2, 3, or 12, sacrifice this creature. If you rolled 7 or 11, don't roll dice for this creature during any of your following upkeeps. If you rolled any other total, note that total.
At the beginning of your upkeep, roll two six-sided dice. If you rolled 7, sacrifice this creature. If you roll the noted total, don't roll dice for this creature during any of your following upkeeps. Otherwise, do nothing.

Attempted Murder

Choose target creature. Roll X six-sided dice. For each even result, put two -1/-1 counters on that creature. For each odd result, create a 1/2 blue Bird creature token with flying named Storm Crow.

Clown Car

When this Vehicle enters, roll X six-sided dice. For each odd result, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token. For each even result, put a +1/+1 counter on this Vehicle.
Crew 2

Circuits Act

Roll three six-sided dice. For each different result, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil

Flying, first strike, trample
Once each turn, while you're searching your library, you may pay {1}{B}, reveal this card from your library and say "I'm coming, too" If you do, this card deals 2 damage to a player of your choice.

Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Blood Crypt

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Slight Malfunction

Choose one —
• Destroy target artifact.
• Roll a six-sided die. When you do, Slight Malfunction deals 1 damage to each of up to X target creatures, where X is the result.

Infernal Spawn of Evil

Flying, first strike
{1}{B}, Reveal this card from your hand, Say "It's coming": This card deals 1 damage to target opponent or planeswalker. Activate only during your upkeep and only once each turn.

Night Shift of the Living Dead

After you roll a die, you may pay 1 life. If you do, increase or decrease the result by 1. Do this only once each turn.
Whenever you roll a 6, create a 2/2 black Zombie Employee creature token.

Kill! Destroy!

Destroy target nonblack creature.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "kill" or "destroy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Kill! Destroy! from your graveyard to your hand.

The Countdown Is at One

Players play a Magic subgame, starting at 1 life and using their libraries as their decks. For the rest of the main game, if a source would deal damage to a player who didn't win the subgame, it deals double that damage to that player instead.

Infinity Elemental

Mountain

Rocket-Powered Turbo Slug

Super haste (This may attack the turn before you cast it. (You may put this card from your hand onto the battlefield tapped and attacking during your declare attackers step. If you do, you lose the game at the beginning of your next turn's end step unless you pay this card's mana cost during that turn.))

The Ultimate Nightmare of Wizards of the Coast® Customer Service

The Ultimate Nightmare of Wizards of the Coast® Customer Service deals X damage to each of Y target creatures and Z target players or planeswalkers.

Trigger Happy

Choose a triggered ability of target permanent. It triggers. You control that ability.

Monoxa, Midway Manager

Whenever you roll a 3 or higher, Monoxa gains first strike until end of turn. If the roll was 4 or higher, it gains menace until end of turn. If the roll was 5 or higher, it gains lifelink until end of turn.
{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

B.F.M. (Big Furry Monster)

You must cast both B.F.M. cards to put
leaves the battlefield, sacrifice the other.
B.F.M. can't be blocked except by three or

Mad Science Fair Project

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or lower, target player adds {C}. Otherwise, that player adds one mana of any color they choose.

Swamp

Sauté

Strength-Testing Hammer

Whenever equipped creature attacks, roll a six-sided die. That creature gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the result. Then if it has the greatest power or is tied for greatest power among creatures on the battlefield, draw a card.
Equip {3}

B.F.M. onto the battlefield. If one B.F.M. card
more creatures.

Yet Another Aether Vortex

All creatures have haste.
Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.
Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.

Goblin Bowling Team

If this creature would deal damage to a permanent or player, it deals that much damage plus the result of a six-sided die roll to that permanent or player instead.

Punctuate

Punctuate deals damage to target creature equal to half the number of punctuation marks in that creature's text box. (The punctuation marks are ! ? , ; : - — ( ) / " " ' ' & .)

Strategy, Schmategy

Roll a six-sided die. Strategy, Schmategy has the indicated effect.
1 — Do nothing.
2 — Destroy all artifacts.
3 — Destroy all lands.
4 — Strategy, Schmategy deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.
5 — Each player discards their hand and draws seven cards.
6 — Repeat this process two more times.

Priority Boarding

Whenever you roll a die, you may reveal the top card of your library. Do this only once each turn. Whenever you reveal a card with mana value less than the result this way, you may exile it. If you do, you may play it this turn.

Hammer Helper

Gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature and roll a six-sided die. Until end of turn, it gains haste and gets +X/+0, where X is the result.

Painiac

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. This creature gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the result.

Squirrel-Powered Scheme

Increase the result of each die you roll by 2.

Six-Sided Die

Choose target creature. Roll a six-sided die.
1 — It has base toughness 1 until end of turn.
2 — Put two -1/-1 counters on it.
3 — Six-Sided Die deals 3 damage to it and you gain 3 life.
4 — It gets -4/-4 until end of turn.
5 — Destroy it.
6 — Exile it.

Sly Spy

Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, roll a six-sided die. That player loses life equal to the result.

Assquatch

Each other Donkey gets +1½/+1½.
Whenever another Donkey enters, untap target creature and gain control of it until end of turn. That creature gains haste until end of turn.

Scooch

Add or subtract 1 from target creature's power, target player's life total, or target die roll's result.
Draw a card.

Hangman

As this creature enters, secretly note a word with six to eight letters.
{1}: Target player who doesn't control this creature guesses the noted word or an unguessed letter in that word. If they guess wrong, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature. Any player may activate this ability.
When a player guesses the noted word or all of its letters, sacrifice this creature.

Three-Headed Goblin

Triple strike (This creature deals first-strike, regular, and last-strike combat damage.)

Deal Damage

Deal Damage deals 4 damage to any target.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "deal" or "damage," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Deal Damage from your graveyard to your hand.

Over My Dead Bodies

Creature cards in graveyards can attack and block as though they were on the battlefield, can block or be blocked only by creature cards in graveyards, are Zombies in addition to their other types, and have undeathtouch. (If they would deal damage to a creature card, exile that creature card instead.)
Creature cards in your graveyard have haste.

Krark's Other Thumb

If you would roll a die, instead roll two of those dice and ignore one of those results.

Everythingamajig

{2}, {T}: Draw a card. Activate only if you have no cards in hand.
{8}, {T}: You gain 10 life.
{4}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You may put a silver-bordered or acorn permanent card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Dumb Ass

At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, target opponent chooses whether this creature attacks this turn.

Disemvowel

Destroy target creature. That creature's controller loses 1 life for each unique vowel in the creature's name. (The vowels are A, E, I, O, U, and Y.)

Curse of the Fire Penguin Creature

Trample
When this creature dies, return Curse of the Fire Penguin to the battlefield.

Curse of the Fire Penguin

Enchant creature
This enchantment consumes and confuses enchanted creature.

Curse of the Fire Penguin // Curse of the Fire Penguin Creature

Ricochet

Whenever a player casts a spell that targets a single player, each player rolls a six-sided die. Change the target of that spell to the player with the lowest result. Reroll to break ties, if necessary.

Infernius Spawnington III, Esq.

Flying, first strike, trample, haste
This spell costs {3} less to cast for each card you've revealed this turn.
When this creature enters, you may say "I'm here." If you do, it deals 3 damage to target player.

Urza's Contact Lenses

This artifact enters tapped.
This artifact doesn't untap during your untap step.
As long as this artifact is untapped, all players play with their hands revealed.
Clap your hands twice: You may tap or untap this artifact.

Steel Squirrel

Whenever you roll a 5 or higher on a die, this creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.
{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

Masterful Ninja

Haste
Reveal this card from your hand: Masterful Ninja is on the battlefield and in your hand until end of turn.
{1}{B}: This creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn.

Mox Lotus

{T}: Add {∞}.
{100}: Add one mana of any color.

Well Done

Well Done deals 5 damage to target creature. If that creature is rare or mythic rare, Well Done deals 3 damage to that creature's controller.

Jumbo Imp

Flying
As this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. This creature enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.
At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die and put a number of +1/+1 counters on this creature equal to the result.
At the beginning of your end step, roll a six-sided die and remove a number of +1/+1 counters from this creature equal to the result.

Garbage Elemental

Cascade (When you cast this spell, exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card that costs less. You may cast it without paying its mana cost. Put the exiled cards on the bottom in a random order.)
When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. This creature deals damage equal to the result to target opponent or planeswalker.

Whenever a creature deals damage to a player, that player may say "Ow" once for each permanent named Ow. If the player doesn't, this enchantment deals 1 damage to them.

Knife and Death

Just a second (As long as this spell is on the stack, players can't move permanents.)
One at a time, throw ten cards you own from outside the game onto the playing area from a distance of at least three feet (about one meter). For each of those cards, Knife and Death deals 1 damage to each creature or planeswalker you don't control that card is touching. You gain life equal to the damage dealt this way.

Urza's Science Fair Project

{2}: Roll a six-sided die. This creature gets the indicated result.
1 — It gets -2/-2 until end of turn.
2 — Prevent all combat damage it would deal this turn.
3 — It gains vigilance until end of turn.
4 — It gains first strike until end of turn.
5 — It gains flying until end of turn.
6 — It gets +2/+2 until end of turn.

Inhumaniac

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or 4, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature. On a 5 or higher, put two +1/+1 counters on it. On a 1, remove all +1/+1 counters from this creature.