Selfie Preservation

Search your library for a basic land card and reveal it. If there's a tree in its art, put it onto the battlefield tapped. Otherwise, put it into your hand. Then shuffle.

Mage Hunter

Whenever an opponent casts or copies an instant or sorcery spell, they lose 1 life.

GO TO JAIL

When GO TO JAIL enters, exile target creature an opponent controls until GO TO JAIL leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of the upkeep of the exiled card's owner, that player rolls two six-sided dice. If they roll doubles, sacrifice GO TO JAIL.

Curious Killbot

Negate

Hoisted Hireling

Hoisted Hireling has flying as long as it's being held above the battlefield.

Robo-

At the beginning of each end step, if an artifact entered the battlefield under your control this turn,
Augment {2} ({2}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Applied Aeronautics

Whenever you crank Applied Aeronautics, until end of turn, target creature gets +1/+0, gains flying, and becomes an artifact in addition to its other types.

Tread Mill

Whenever you crank Tread Mill, until end of turn, target creature gets +1/+2, gains vigilance, and becomes an artifact in addition to its other types.

Start from Scratch

Choose one —
• Start from Scratch deals 1 damage to any target.
• Destroy target artifact.

Feisty Stegosaurus

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. This creature deals damage equal to the result to target creature an opponent controls.

Reconstruct History

Return up to one target artifact card, up to one target enchantment card, up to one target instant card, up to one target sorcery card, and up to one target planeswalker card from your graveyard to your hand.
Exile Reconstruct History.

Blurry Beeble

Blurry (This creature can be blocked only if defending player was wearing glasses as it was cast.)
Whenever Blurry Beeble deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card. If you do, discard a card.

Riveting Rigger

When Riveting Rigger enters, you may sacrifice another artifact. If you do, put two +1/+1 counters on Riveting Rigger and it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Bumbling Pangolin

When this creature enters, you may destroy target artifact.

Island

Teacher's Pet

{2}{W}, Sacrifice Teacher's Pet: Search your library for a card with augment, combine it with target host you control, then shuffle.

Really Epic Punch

Target creature you control gets +2/+2 if it's a host or has augment. Then it fights target creature you don't control.

S.N.E.A.K. Dispatcher

{2}{U}, {T}: Look at the top card of target player's library. If it has an Agents of S.N.E.A.K. watermark, you may reveal it and put it into your hand. Otherwise, put it on your choice of the top or bottom of its owner's library.

Cram Session

You gain 4 life.
Learn. (You may reveal a Lesson card you own from outside the game and put it into your hand, or discard a card to draw a card.)

Demonic Tutor

Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle.

Tanazir Quandrix

Flying, trample
When Tanazir Quandrix enters, double the number of +1/+1 counters on target creature you control.
Whenever Tanazir Quandrix attacks, you may have the base power and toughness of other creatures you control become equal to Tanazir Quandrix's power and toughness until end of turn.

Magic Word

Enchant creature
As Magic Word enters, choose a word.
Whisper the chosen word: Tap enchanted creature.

Thrilling Discovery

You gain 2 life. Then you may discard two cards. If you do, draw three cards.

Gift of Estates

If an opponent controls more lands than you, search your library for up to three Plains cards, reveal them, put them into your hand, then shuffle.

Bury in Books

This spell costs {2} less to cast if it targets an attacking creature.
Put target creature into its owner's library second from the top.

Spined Karok

Half-Kitten, Half-

Whenever you're dealt damage,
Augment {2}{W} ({2}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Lorehold Pledgemage

First strike
Magecraft — Whenever you cast or copy an instant or sorcery spell, Lorehold Pledgemage gets +1/+0 until end of turn.

Pigment Storm

Pigment Storm deals 5 damage to target creature. Excess damage is dealt to that creature's controller instead.

Thud-for-Duds

Whenever you crank Thud-for-Duds, roll two six-sided dice. Thud-for-Duds deals damage to target creature equal to the difference between those results.

"Rumors of My Death . . ."

{3}{B}, Exile a permanent you control with a League of Dastardly Doom watermark: Return a permanent card with a League of Dastardly Doom watermark from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Neural Network

Whenever you crank Neural Network, gain control of target creature an opponent controls with power less than or equal to the number of creature cards in its controller's graveyard until end of turn. Untap that creature. It gains haste until end of turn.

Spectacle Mage

Flying
Instant and sorcery spells you cast with mana value 5 or greater cost {1} less to cast.

Divine Gambit

Exile target artifact, creature, or enchantment an opponent controls. That player may put a permanent card from their hand onto the battlefield.

Work a Double

Assemble two Contraptions. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets. Then repeat this process.)

Grapeshot

Grapeshot deals 1 damage to any target.
Storm (When you cast this spell, copy it for each spell cast before it this turn. You may choose new targets for the copies.)

Serpentine Curve

Create a 0/0 green and blue Fractal creature token. Put X +1/+1 counters on it, where X is one plus the total number of instant and sorcery cards you own in exile and in your graveyard.

Show of Confidence

When you cast this spell, copy it for each other instant and sorcery spell you've cast this turn. You may choose new targets for the copies.
Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature. It gains vigilance until end of turn.

Head Banger

Whenever you crank Head Banger, target creature must be blocked this turn if able.

Dispatch Dispensary

Whenever you crank Dispatch Dispensary, create a 2/2 black Rogue creature token with menace.

Awaken the Blood Avatar

As an additional cost to cast this spell, you may sacrifice any number of creatures. This spell costs {2} less to cast for each creature sacrificed this way.
Each opponent sacrifices a creature of their choice. Create a 3/6 black and red Avatar creature token with haste and "Whenever this creature attacks, it deals 3 damage to each opponent."

Extus, Oriq Overlord

Double strike
Magecraft — Whenever you cast or copy an instant or sorcery spell, return target nonlegendary creature card from your graveyard to your hand.

Extus, Oriq Overlord // Awaken the Blood Avatar

Wrench-Rigger

When Wrench-Rigger enters, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Voracious Vacuum

When this creature enters, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.

Quandrix Command

Choose two —
• Return target creature or planeswalker to its owner's hand.
• Counter target artifact or enchantment spell.
• Put two +1/+1 counters on target creature.
• Target player shuffles up to three target cards from their graveyard into their library.

Just Desserts

Just Desserts deals π damage to target creature. (π is the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. (It's a smidgen more than 3.))

Contraption Cannon

{2}, Sacrifice Contraption Cannon: It deals damage to any target equal to the number of Contraptions you control.

Steel Squirrel

Whenever you roll a 5 or higher on a die, Steel Squirrel gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.
{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

It That Gets Left Hanging

When It That Gets Left Hanging enters, ask a person outside the game to high-five you. If they won't, It That Gets Left Hanging gains haste until end of turn.

Mad Science Fair Project

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or lower, target player adds {C}. Otherwise, that player adds one mana of any color they choose.

Flunk

Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is 7 minus the number of cards in that creature's controller's hand.

Summon the Pack

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put all creature cards revealed this way onto the battlefield under your control. They're Zombies in addition to their other types. (Remove those cards from your deck before beginning a new game.)

Subcontract

A person outside the game looks at target opponent's hand and chooses a nonland card from it. That player discards that card.

Ordinary Pony

When this creature enters, you may exile target non-Horse creature you control that wasn't put onto the battlefield with this ability this turn, then return it to the battlefield under its owner's control.

Counterspell

Willing Test Subject

Reach
Whenever you roll a 4 or higher on a die, put a +1/+1 counter on Willing Test Subject.
{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

Plains

Expel

Chipper Chopper

Flying
When Chipper Chopper enters, you may sacrifice another artifact. If you do, put two +1/+1 counters on Chipper Chopper and it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Forest

Sly Spy

Whenever Sly Spy deals combat damage to a player, roll a six-sided die. That player loses life equal to the result.

Twinscroll Shaman

Clock of DOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

{4}, {T}: Move the CRANK! counter to your Contraption deck's next sprocket and crank any number of that sprocket's Contraptions.

Dictation Quillograph

Whenever you crank Dictation Quillograph, until end of turn, target creature gains "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card. If you do, discard a card."

Chittering Doom

Whenever you roll a 4 or higher on a die, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Angelic Rocket

Flying
When this creature enters, you may destroy target nonland permanent.

Three-Headed Goblin

Triple strike (This creature deals first-strike, regular, and last-strike combat damage.)

Cultivate

Search your library for up to two basic land cards, reveal those cards, put one onto the battlefield tapped and the other into your hand, then shuffle.

Eliminate

Destroy target creature or planeswalker with mana value 3 or less.

Clever Combo

Search your library for a host card or a card with augment, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Bayou Groff

As an additional cost to cast this spell, sacrifice a creature or pay {3}.

Fractal Summoning

Create a 0/0 green and blue Fractal creature token. Put X +1/+1 counters on it.

Targeting Rocket

Whenever you crank Targeting Rocket, target creature blocks this turn if able.

Beast in Show

Hammer Jammer

As Hammer Jammer enters, roll a six-sided die. Hammer Jammer enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.
Whenever you roll a die, remove all +1/+1 counters from Hammer Jammer, then put a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.

Oriq Loremage

{T}: Search your library for a card, put it into your graveyard, then shuffle. If it's an instant or sorcery card, put a +1/+1 counter on Oriq Loremage.

Krark's Other Thumb

If you would roll a die, instead roll two of those dice and ignore one of those results.

Mascot Interception

This spell costs {3} less to cast if it targets a creature token.
Gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature. It gets +2/+0 and gains haste until end of turn.

Gnome-Made Engine

When this creature enters, create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.

Squirrel Dealer

When Squirrel Dealer enters, ask a person outside the game "Do you like Squirrels?" If they do, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Over My Dead Bodies

Creature cards in graveyards can attack and block as though they were on the battlefield, can block or be blocked only by creature cards in graveyards, are Zombies in addition to their other types, and have undeathtouch. (If they would deal damage to a creature card, exile that creature card instead.)
Creature cards in your graveyard have haste.

Shock

capital offense

target creature gets -x/-x until end of turn, where x is the number of times a capital letter appears in its rules text. (ignore reminder text and flavor text.)

The Countdown Is at One

Players play a Magic subgame, starting at 1 life and using their libraries as their decks. For the rest of the main game, if a source would deal damage to a player who didn't win the subgame, it deals double that damage to that player instead.

Tempted by the Oriq

For each opponent, gain control of up to one target creature or planeswalker that player controls with mana value 3 or less.

Cogmentor

Flying
{4}: Reassemble target Contraption you control. (Move it onto another one of your sprockets.)

Knight of the Kitchen Sink

First strike, protection from watermarks (Nothing with a watermark can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Handy Dandy Clone Machine

{2}, {T}: Create a 2/2 colorless Homunculus creature token. It must be represented by a unique hand and two fingers at all times, or it ceases to exist.

Witherbloom Campus

Witherbloom Campus enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B} or {G}.
{4}, {T}: Scry 1.

Semester's End

Exile any number of target creatures and/or planeswalkers you control. At the beginning of the next end step, return each of them to the battlefield under its owner's control. Each of them enters with an additional +1/+1 counter on it if it's a creature and an additional loyalty counter on it if it's a planeswalker.

Guiding Voice

Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.
Learn. (You may reveal a Lesson card you own from outside the game and put it into your hand, or discard a card to draw a card.)

Defective Detective

Defective Detective can't be blocked.
When Defective Detective enters, a person outside the game looks at target opponent's hand and chooses a card from it. That player reveals that card.

Shellephant

{0}: Choose one. You may activate this ability while Shellephant is in any zone.
• Shellephant has base power and toughness 1/4.
• Shellephant has base power and toughness 3/3.

Deadly Poison Sampler

Whenever you crank Deadly Poison Sampler, until end of turn, target creature gains "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, destroy target creature that player controls."

Skull Saucer

Flying
When Skull Saucer enters, destroy target creature and put your head on the table. Sacrifice Skull Saucer when your head stops touching the table.

Painiac

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. Painiac gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the result.

Gnomeball Machine

Whenever you crank Gnomeball Machine, create two 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature tokens.

Big Play

Target creature gets +2/+2 and gains reach until end of turn. Put a +1/+1 counter on it. (A creature with reach can block creatures with flying.)

Target Minotaur

Prowess (Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, this creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn.)

Sap Sucker

Whenever you crank Sap Sucker, add {G}. Until end of turn, you don't lose this mana as steps and phases end.

Scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom.)
Draw a card.

Rip Apart

Choose one —
• Rip Apart deals 3 damage to target creature or planeswalker.
• Destroy target artifact or enchantment.

Success!

Target creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn. If it's a host or has augment, it gains lifelink until end of turn.

Mother Kangaroo

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. Put a number of +1/+1 counters on this creature equal to the result.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.
{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.