Extremely Slow Zombie

Last strike (This creature deals combat damage after creatures without last strike.)

Farewell to Arms

As this enchantment enters, choose a hand attached to an opponent's arm.
When the chosen hand isn't behind its owner's back, sacrifice this enchantment. If you do, that player discards their hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers wouldn't let us do it the other way.)

Gleemax

You choose all targets for all spells and abilities.

Rejuvenating Springs

This land enters tapped unless you have two or more opponents.
{T}: Add {G} or {U}.

Shivan Reef

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}. This land deals 1 damage to you.

Polluted Delta

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for an Island or Swamp card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

First Come, First Served

Each attacking or blocking creature with the lowest collector number among attacking or blocking creatures has first strike.

Gollum, Scheming Guide

Whenever Gollum attacks, look at the top two cards of your library, put them back in any order, then choose land or nonland. An opponent guesses whether the top card of your library is the chosen kind. Reveal that card. If they guessed right, remove Gollum from combat. Otherwise, you draw a card and Gollum can't be blocked this turn.

Marsh Flats

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a Plains or Swamp card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

My First Tome

{1}, {T}: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and they guessed wrong, you draw a card.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if this card is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return this artifact to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see this artifact.
{2}, Sacrifice this artifact: Destroy target attacking creature.

AWOL

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Mouth to Mouth

Choose target opponent and target creature they control. You and that player have a breath-holding contest. If you win, you gain control of that creature.

Volrath's Motion Sensor

Enchant player
As this Aura enters, choose one of enchanted player's hands. That player balances this Aura on the back of that hand.
When this Aura falls off the chosen hand, sacrifice this Aura and enchanted player loses 3 life.

Bloodstained Mire

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a Swamp or Mountain card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

B.F.M. (Big Furry Monster)

B.F.M. onto the battlefield. If one B.F.M. card
more creatures.

Spire Garden

This land enters tapped unless you have two or more opponents.
{T}: Add {R} or {G}.

Spirit of the Season

When this creature enters, it gains haste if it's summer. Put a +1/+1 counter on it if it's autumn. You gain 5 life if it's winter. If it's spring, search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Party Crasher

Haste
You can attack with this creature once each combat during each opponent's turn.

Fellwar Stone

{T}: Add one mana of any color that a land an opponent controls could produce.

Magical Hacker

{U}: Change the text of target spell or permanent by replacing all instances of + with -, and vice versa, until end of turn.

Undergrowth Stadium

This land enters tapped unless you have two or more opponents.
{T}: Add {B} or {G}.

Steam Vents

({T}: Add {U} or {R}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Jalum Grifter

{1}{R}, {T}: Shuffle Jalum Grifter and two lands you control face down. Target opponent chooses one of those cards. Turn the cards face up. If they chose Jalum Grifter, sacrifice it. Otherwise, destroy target permanent.

Exhume

Each player puts a creature card from their graveyard onto the battlefield.

Morphic Pool

This land enters tapped unless you have two or more opponents.
{T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Baron Von Count

Baron Von Count enters with a doom counter on "5."
Whenever you cast a spell with the indicated numeral in its mana cost, text box, power, or toughness, move the doom counter one numeral to the left.
When the doom counter moves from "1," destroy target player and put that doom counter on "5."

Breeding Pool

({T}: Add {G} or {U}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Underground River

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {U} or {B}. This land deals 1 damage to you.

Handcuffs

As this enchantment enters, choose a player.
When the chosen player's hands aren't touching each other, sacrifice this enchantment and that player sacrifices three permanents.

Guff Rewrites History

For each player, choose target nonenchantment, nonland permanent that player controls. Those permanents' owners shuffle them into their libraries. Each player who controlled one of those permanents exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card, then puts the rest on the bottom of their library in a random order. Each player may cast the nonland card they exiled without paying its mana cost.

The Lord of Pain

Menace
Your opponents can't gain life.
Whenever a player casts their first spell each turn, choose another target player. The Lord of Pain deals damage equal to that spell's mana value to the chosen player.

Free-for-All

When this enchantment enters, exile all creatures face down.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player chooses a card exiled with this enchantment at random and puts it onto the battlefield.
When this enchantment leaves the battlefield, put all cards exiled with it into their owners' graveyards.

Keen Duelist

At the beginning of your upkeep, you and target opponent each reveal the top card of your library. You each lose life equal to the mana value of the card revealed by the other player. You each put the card you revealed into your hand.

B-I-N-G-O

Trample
Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value.
This creature gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.

Misty Rainforest

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a Forest or Island card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Llanowar Wastes

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {B} or {G}. This land deals 1 damage to you.

Mother of Goons

Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, sacrifice this creature unless you insult that creature.

Get a Life

Target player and each of that player's teammates exchange life totals.

Temple Garden

({T}: Add {G} or {W}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

You must cast both B.F.M. cards to put
leaves the battlefield, sacrifice the other.
B.F.M. can't be blocked except by three or

Hangman

As this creature enters, secretly note a word with six to eight letters.
{1}: Target player who doesn't control this creature guesses the noted word or an unguessed letter in that word. If they guess wrong, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature. Any player may activate this ability.
When a player guesses the noted word or all of its letters, sacrifice this creature.

Miss Demeanor

Flying, first strike
At the beginning of each other player's upkeep, you may compliment that player on their game play. If you don't, sacrifice this creature.

Head to Head

You and target opponent play Seven Questions with the top card of that player's library. If you win, prevent all damage that would be dealt this turn by a source of your choice. (To play Seven Questions, that player looks at the card, then you ask up to six yes-or-no questions about the card that they answer truthfully. You guess the card's name—that's question seven—then the player reveals the card.)

Slaying Mantis

Just a second (As long as this spell is on the stack, players can't move permanents.)
This creature enters by being thrown from a distance of at least three feet.
When this creature enters, it fights each creature an opponent controls that it touched as it entered.

Infernal Spawn of Evil

Flying, first strike
{1}{B}, Reveal this card from your hand, Say "It's coming": This card deals 1 damage to target opponent or planeswalker. Activate only during your upkeep and only once each turn.

Stomping Ground

({T}: Add {R} or {G}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Watery Grave

({T}: Add {U} or {B}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Descent into Avernus

At the beginning of your upkeep, put two descent counters on this enchantment. Then each player creates X Treasure tokens and this enchantment deals X damage to each player, where X is the number of descent counters on this enchantment.

Standing Army

As long as you're standing, this creature has vigilance.

Yet Another Aether Vortex

All creatures have haste.
Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.
Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.

Infinity Elemental

Pointy Finger of Doom

{3}, {T}: Spin this artifact in the middle of the table so that it rotates completely at least once, then destroy the closest permanent the finger points to.

Old-Fashioned Vampire

Flying
This creature gets +2/+2 and has deathtouch as long as it's dark outdoors.

Ancient Tomb

{T}: Add {C}{C}. This land deals 2 damage to you.

Bucknard's Everfull Purse

{1}, {T}: Roll a d4 and create a number of Treasure tokens equal to the result. The player to your right gains control of this artifact.

Mox Lotus

{T}: Add {∞}.
{100}: Add one mana of any color.

Border Guardian

Whenever you cast a silver-bordered spell, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.
Whenever you cast a black-bordered spell, this creature can't be blocked this turn.
Whenever you cast a white-bordered spell, this creature gains double strike until end of turn.

Bountiful Promenade

This land enters tapped unless you have two or more opponents.
{T}: Add {G} or {W}.

Stone-Cold Basilisk

Whenever this creature blocks or becomes blocked by a creature with fewer letters in its name, destroy that creature at end of combat. (Punctuation and spaces aren't letters.)
Whenever an opponent reads this creature, that player is turned to stone until end of turn. Stoned players can't attack, block, cast spells, or activate abilities.

Face to Face

You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that player.

Exotic Orchard

Land Aid '04

Search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. If you sang a song the whole time you were searching and shuffling, you may untap that land.

Battlefield Forge

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {R} or {W}. This land deals 1 damage to you.

Hurloon Wrangler

Denimwalk (This creature can't be blocked as long as defending player is wearing denim.)

Verdant Catacombs

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a Swamp or Forest card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Sacred Foundry

({T}: Add {R} or {W}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Wooded Foothills

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a Mountain or Forest card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Question Elemental?

Did you know this creature has flying?
Are you aware that any time you say something that isn't a question, when a player points out this fact first, they gain control of this creature?

Clay Pigeon

Flying
{1}, Throw this creature into the air at least two feet above your head while seated: If you catch this creature with one hand, prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to you this turn and tap this creature. Otherwise, sacrifice it.

Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil

Flying, first strike, trample
Once each turn, while you're searching your library, you may pay {1}{B}, reveal this card from your library and say "I'm coming, too" If you do, this card deals 2 damage to a player of your choice.

Ashnod's Coupon

{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Target player gets you target drink. You pay any costs for the drink.

Yavimaya Coast

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {G} or {U}. This land deals 1 damage to you.

Keeper of the Sacred Word

As this creature enters, choose a word.
Whenever an opponent says the chosen word, this creature gets +3/+3 until end of turn.

Spectator Seating

This land enters tapped unless you have two or more opponents.
{T}: Add {R} or {W}.

Brushland

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {G} or {W}. This land deals 1 damage to you.

Plains

Godless Shrine

({T}: Add {W} or {B}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Flooded Strand

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a Plains or Island card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Dumb Ass

At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, target opponent chooses whether this creature attacks this turn.

Kindslaver

{5}, {T}, Sacrifice Kindslaver: A person outside the game controls target player during that player's next turn. Neither player may advise that person until the end of that turn.

Emcee

Whenever another creature enters, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.

Golos, Tireless Pilgrim

When Golos enters, you may search your library for a land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.
{2}{W}{U}{B}{R}{G}: Exile the top three cards of your library. You may play them this turn without paying their mana costs.

Our Market Research Shows That Players Like Really Long Card Names So We Made this Card to Have the Absolute Longest Card Name Ever Elemental

Art rampage 2 (Whenever this creature becomes blocked by a creature, it gets +2/+2 for each creature in the blocker's art beyond the first.)

Wild Magic Surge

Destroy target permanent an opponent controls. Its controller reveals cards from the top of their library until they reveal a permanent card that shares a card type with that permanent. They put that card onto the battlefield and the rest on the bottom of their library in a random order.

Generous Plunderer

Menace
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may create a Treasure token. When you do, target opponent creates a tapped Treasure token.
Whenever this creature attacks, it deals damage to defending player equal to the number of artifacts they control.

Ricochet

Whenever a player casts a spell that targets a single player, each player rolls a six-sided die. Change the target of that spell to the player with the lowest result. Reroll to break ties, if necessary.

Avatar of Me

This spell costs {1} more to cast for each ten years you've been alive.
Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½.
Avatar of Me is the color of your eyes.

Windswept Heath

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a Forest or Plains card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Forbidden Orchard

{T}: Add one mana of any color.
Whenever you tap this land for mana, target opponent creates a 1/1 colorless Spirit creature token.

Island

Squirrel Dealer

When this creature enters, ask a person outside the game "Do you like Squirrels?" If they do, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Swamp

Tempting Contract

At the beginning of your upkeep, each opponent may create a Treasure token. For each opponent who does, you create a Treasure token.

Tempt with Mayhem

Tempting offer — Choose target instant or sorcery spell. Each opponent may copy that spell and may choose new targets for the copy they control. You copy that spell once plus an additional time for each opponent who copied the spell this way. You may choose new targets for the copies you control.

Prisoner's Dilemma

Each opponent secretly chooses silence or snitch, then the choices are revealed. If each opponent chose silence, Prisoner's Dilemma deals 4 damage to each of them. If each opponent chose snitch, Prisoner's Dilemma deals 8 damage to each of them. Otherwise, Prisoner's Dilemma deals 12 damage to each opponent who chose silence.
Flashback {5}{R}{R}

Mountain

Arcane Signet

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Arid Mesa

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a Mountain or Plains card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Overgrown Tomb

({T}: Add {B} or {G}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Sol Ring

Toy Boat

Cumulative upkeep—Say "Toy Boat" quickly. (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on this creature, then sacrifice it unless you say "Toy Boat" once for each age counter on it—without pausing between or fumbling it.)

Cheatyface

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying

Eye to Eye

You and target creature's controller have a staring contest. If you win, destroy that creature.

Game of Chaos

Flip a coin. If you win the flip, you gain 1 life and target opponent loses 1 life, and you decide whether to flip again. If you lose the flip, you lose 1 life and that opponent gains 1 life, and that player decides whether to flip again. Double the life stakes with each flip.