PIMP ACQUIS

Vampire Cutthroat

Skulk (This creature can't be blocked by creatures with greater power.)
Lifelink (Damage dealt by this creature also causes you to gain that much life.)

Getting

Gingerbrute

Haste (This creature can attack and {T} as soon as it comes under your control.)
{1}: This creature can't be blocked this turn except by creatures with haste.
{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this creature: You gain 3 life.

Feed the Swarm

Destroy target creature or enchantment an opponent controls. You lose life equal to that permanent's mana value.

Vashta Nerada

Indestructible
Shadow (This creature can block or be blocked by only creatures with shadow.)
Morbid — At the beginning of each end step, if a creature died this turn, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.

Swamp

Keen Duelist

At the beginning of your upkeep, you and target opponent each reveal the top card of your library. You each lose life equal to the mana value of the card revealed by the other player. You each put the card you revealed into your hand.

Thieves' Tools

When this Equipment enters, create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this token: Add one mana of any color.")
Equipped creature can't be blocked as long as its power is 3 or less.
Equip {2} ({2}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Bojuka Bog

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, exile target player's graveyard.
{T}: Add {B}.

Sign in Blood

Target player draws two cards and loses 2 life.

Acquis SANS PIMP

Coveted Jewel

When this artifact enters, draw three cards.
{T}: Add three mana of any one color.
Whenever one or more creatures an opponent controls attack you and aren't blocked, that player draws three cards and gains control of this artifact. Untap it.

Vorpal Sword

Equipped creature gets +2/+0 and has deathtouch.
{5}{B}{B}{B}: Until end of turn, this Equipment gains "Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, that player loses the game."
Equip {B}{B}

Thieving Varmint

Deathtouch, lifelink
{T}, Pay 1 life: Add two mana of any one color. Spend this mana only to cast spells you don't own.

Charcoal Diamond

This artifact enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B}.

Bismuth Mindrender

Devoid (This card has no color.)
Menace
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, that player exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card. You may cast that card by paying life equal to the spell's mana value rather than paying its mana cost.

Sol Ring

Gilded Lotus

Village Rites

As an additional cost to cast this spell, sacrifice a creature.
Draw two cards.

Strategic Betrayal

Target opponent exiles a creature they control and their graveyard.

Lantern of Insight

Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.
{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Target player shuffles.

Alpharael, Stonechosen

Ward—Discard a card at random.
Void — Whenever Alpharael attacks, if a nonland permanent left the battlefield this turn or a spell was warped this turn, defending player loses half their life, rounded up.

Rogue's Passage

{T}: Add {C}.
{4}, {T}: Target creature can't be blocked this turn.

Tragic Slip

Target creature gets -1/-1 until end of turn.
Morbid — That creature gets -13/-13 until end of turn instead if a creature died this turn.

Infernal Grasp

Destroy target creature. You lose 2 life.

Blackbloom Bog

Blackbloom Bog enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B}.

Blackbloom Rogue

Menace (This creature can't be blocked except by two or more creatures.)
Blackbloom Rogue gets +3/+0 as long as an opponent has eight or more cards in their graveyard.

Blackbloom Rogue // Blackbloom Bog

Elder Brain

Menace
Whenever this creature attacks a player, exile all cards from that player's hand, then they draw that many cards. You may play lands and cast spells from among the exiled cards for as long as they remain exiled. If you cast a spell this way, you may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast it.

Heartless Conscription

Exile all creatures. For each card exiled this way, you may play that card for as long as it remains exiled, and mana of any type can be spent to cast that spell. Exile Heartless Conscription.

Syphon Mind

Each other player discards a card. You draw a card for each card discarded this way.

Parasitic Impetus

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and is goaded. (It attacks each combat if able and attacks a player other than you if able.)
Whenever enchanted creature attacks, its controller loses 2 life and you gain 2 life.

Nighthawk Scavenger

Flying, deathtouch, lifelink
Nighthawk Scavenger's power is equal to 1 plus the number of card types among cards in your opponents' graveyards.

Vault Skirge

({B/P} can be paid with either {B} or 2 life.)
Flying
Lifelink (Damage dealt by this creature also causes you to gain that much life.)

Changeling Outcast

Changeling (This card is every creature type.)
This creature can't block and can't be blocked.

Withering Torment

Destroy target creature or enchantment. You lose 2 life.

Final Act

Choose one or more —
• Destroy all creatures.
• Destroy all planeswalkers.
• Destroy all battles.
• Exile all graveyards.
• Each opponent loses all counters.

Reno and Rude

Menace
Whenever Reno and Rude deals combat damage to a player, exile the top card of that player's library. Then you may sacrifice another creature or artifact. If you do, you may play the exiled card this turn, and mana of any type can be spent to cast it.

Ravenous Chupacabra

When this creature enters, destroy target creature an opponent controls.

Kain, Traitorous Dragoon

Jump — During your turn, Kain has flying.
Whenever Kain deals combat damage to a player, that player gains control of Kain. If they do, you draw that many cards, create that many tapped Treasure tokens, then lose that much life.

Gonti, Night Minister

Whenever a player casts a spell they don't own, that player creates a Treasure token.
Whenever a creature deals combat damage to one of your opponents, its controller looks at the top card of that opponent's library and exiles it face down. They may play that card for as long as it remains exiled. Mana of any type can be spent to cast a spell this way.

Intellect Devourer

Devour Intellect — When this creature enters, each opponent exiles a card from their hand until this creature leaves the battlefield.
Body Thief — You may play lands and cast spells from among cards exiled with this creature. If you cast a spell this way, you may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast it.

Mutilate

All creatures get -1/-1 until end of turn for each Swamp you control.

Dead Man's Chest

Enchant creature an opponent controls
When enchanted creature dies, exile cards equal to its power from the top of its owner's library. You may cast spells from among those cards for as long as they remain exiled, and mana of any type can be spent to cast them.

Tormented Soul

This creature can't block and can't be blocked.

Temple of the False God

{T}: Add {C}{C}. Activate only if you control five or more lands.

Outrageous Robbery

Target opponent exiles the top X cards of their library face down. You may look at and play those cards for as long as they remain exiled. If you cast a spell this way, you may spend mana as though it were mana of any type to cast it.

Assassin Initiate

{1}: This creature gains your choice of flying, deathtouch, or lifelink until end of turn.

Dauthi Slayer

Shadow (This creature can block or be blocked by only creatures with shadow.)
This creature attacks each combat if able.

Mastermind Plum

Whenever Mastermind Plum attacks, exile up to one target card from a graveyard. If an artifact card was exiled this way, create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this token: Add one mana of any color.")
Whenever you cast a spell, if mana from a Treasure was spent to cast it, you draw a card and you lose 1 life.

Fake Your Own Death

Until end of turn, target creature gets +2/+0 and gains "When this creature dies, return it to the battlefield tapped under its owner's control and you create a Treasure token." (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this token: Add one mana of any color.")

Swiftfoot Boots

Equipped creature has hexproof and haste. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control. It can attack and {T} no matter when it came under your control.)
Equip {1} ({1}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Vampire Nighthawk

Flying
Deathtouch (Any amount of damage this deals to a creature is enough to destroy it.)
Lifelink (Damage dealt by this creature also causes you to gain that much life.)

Cunning Rhetoric

Whenever an opponent attacks you and/or one or more planeswalkers you control, exile the top card of that player's library. You may play that card for as long as it remains exiled, and you may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast it.

Predators' Hour

Until end of turn, creatures you control gain menace and "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, exile the top card of that player's library face down. You may look at and play that card for as long as it remains exiled, and you may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast that spell."

Fatal Push

Destroy target creature if it has mana value 2 or less.
Revolt — Destroy that creature if it has mana value 4 or less instead if a permanent left the battlefield under your control this turn.

Dream-Thief's Bandana

Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, look at the top card of their library, then exile it face down. For as long as it remains exiled, you may play it, and mana of any type can be spent to cast that spell.
Equip {1}

Rankle, Master of Pranks

Flying, haste
Whenever Rankle deals combat damage to a player, choose any number —
• Each player discards a card.
• Each player loses 1 life and draws a card.
• Each player sacrifices a creature of their choice.

Overkill

Target creature gets -0/-9999 until end of turn.

Prickly Boggart

Fear (This creature can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or black creatures.)

Thieving Amalgam

At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, you manifest the top card of that player's library. (Put it onto the battlefield face down as a 2/2 creature. Turn it face up any time for its mana cost if it's a creature card.)
Whenever a creature you control but don't own dies, its owner loses 2 life and you gain 2 life.

Faerie Dreamthief

Flying
When this creature enters, surveil 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put it into your graveyard.)
{2}{B}, Exile this card from your graveyard: You draw a card and you lose 1 life.

Gonti, Lord of Luxury

Deathtouch
When Gonti enters, look at the top four cards of target opponent's library, exile one of them face down, then put the rest on the bottom of that library in a random order. You may cast that card for as long as it remains exiled, and mana of any type can be spent to cast that spell.

Mirkwood Bats

Flying
Whenever you create or sacrifice a token, each opponent loses 1 life.

Arvinox, the Mind Flail

Arvinox isn't a creature unless you control three or more permanents you don't own.
At the beginning of your end step, exile the bottom card of each opponent's library face down. For as long as those cards remain exiled, you may look at them, you may cast permanent spells from among them, and you may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast those spells.

Sadistic Shell Game

Starting with the next opponent in turn order, each player chooses a creature you don't control. Destroy the chosen creatures.

Hero's Downfall

Bloodthirsty Blade

Equipped creature gets +2/+0 and is goaded. (It attacks each combat if able and attacks a player other than you if able.)
{1}: Attach this Equipment to target creature an opponent controls. Activate only as a sorcery.

Dalek Squadron

Menace
Myriad (Whenever this creature attacks, for each opponent other than defending player, you may create a token copy that's tapped and attacking that player or a planeswalker they control. Exile the tokens at end of combat.)

Snarling Gorehound

Menace
Whenever another creature you control with power 2 or less enters, surveil 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put it into your graveyard.)

Decree of Pain

Destroy all creatures. They can't be regenerated. Draw a card for each creature destroyed this way.
Cycling {3}{B}{B} ({3}{B}{B}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)
When you cycle this card, all creatures get -2/-2 until end of turn.