Acquis SANS PIMP

Dragon Mage

Flying
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, each player discards their hand, then draws seven cards.

Hit the Mother Lode

Discover 10. If the discovered card's mana value is less than 10, create a number of tapped Treasure tokens equal to the difference. (To discover 10, exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card with mana value 10 or less. Cast it without paying its mana cost or put it into your hand. Put the rest on the bottom in a random order.)

Smoldering Marsh

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)
This land enters tapped unless you control two or more basic lands.

Ensnared by the Mara

Each opponent faces a villainous choice — They exile cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card, then you may cast that card without paying its mana cost, or that player exiles the top four cards of their library and Ensnared by the Mara deals damage equal to the total mana value of those exiled cards to that player.

Talisman of Indulgence

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}. This artifact deals 1 damage to you.

Chef's Kiss

Gain control of target spell that targets only a single permanent or player. Copy it, then reselect the targets at random for the spell and the copy. The new targets can't be you or a permanent you control.

Rakdos Carnarium

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, return a land you control to its owner's hand.
{T}: Add {B}{R}.

Bojuka Bog

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, exile target player's graveyard.
{T}: Add {B}.

Guff Rewrites History

For each player, choose target nonenchantment, nonland permanent that player controls. Those permanents' owners shuffle them into their libraries. Each player who controlled one of those permanents exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card, then puts the rest on the bottom of their library in a random order. Each player may cast the nonland card they exiled without paying its mana cost.

Thieves' Auction

Exile all nontoken permanents. Starting with you, each player chooses one of the exiled cards and puts it onto the battlefield tapped under their control. Repeat this process until all cards exiled this way have been chosen.

PIMP ACQUIS

Black Mage's Rod

Job select (When this Equipment enters, create a 1/1 colorless Hero creature token, then attach this to it.)
Equipped creature gets +1/+0, has "Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, this creature deals 1 damage to each opponent," and is a Wizard in addition to its other types.
Equip {3}

Exsanguinate

Each opponent loses X life. You gain life equal to the life lost this way.

Snort

Each player may discard their hand and draw five cards. Then Snort deals 5 damage to each opponent who discarded their hand this way.
Flashback {5}{R} (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

Archfiend of Depravity

Flying
At the beginning of each opponent's end step, that player chooses up to two creatures they control, then sacrifices the rest.

Kaervek the Merciless

Whenever an opponent casts a spell, Kaervek deals damage equal to that spell's mana value to any target.

Hithlain Rope

This artifact can't be sacrificed.
{1}, {T}: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. The player to your right gains control of this artifact.
{2}, {T}: Draw a card. The player to your right gains control of this artifact.

Havoc Festival

Players can't gain life.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player loses half their life, rounded up.

Sulfurous Springs

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}. This land deals 1 damage to you.

Rakdos, the Showstopper

Flying, trample
When Rakdos enters, flip a coin for each creature that isn't a Demon, Devil, or Imp. Destroy each creature whose coin comes up tails.

Dragonskull Summit

This land enters tapped unless you control a Swamp or a Mountain.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Lavaclaw Reaches

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.
{1}{B}{R}: Until end of turn, this land becomes a 2/2 black and red Elemental creature with "{X}: This creature gets +X/+0 until end of turn." It's still a land.

Laughing Mad

As an additional cost to cast this spell, discard a card.
Draw two cards.
Flashback {3}{R} (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost and any additional costs. Then exile it.)

Mutinous Massacre

Choose odd or even. Destroy each creature with mana value of the chosen quality. Then gain control of all creatures until end of turn. Untap them. They gain haste until end of turn. (Zero is even.)

Chandra, Flamecaller

+1: Create two 3/1 red Elemental creature tokens with haste. Exile them at the beginning of the next end step.
0: Discard all the cards in your hand, then draw that many cards plus one.
−X: Chandra deals X damage to each creature.

Professor Onyx

Magecraft — Whenever you cast or copy an instant or sorcery spell, each opponent loses 2 life and you gain 2 life.
+1: You lose 1 life. Look at the top three cards of your library. Put one of them into your hand and the rest into your graveyard.
−3: Each opponent sacrifices a creature with the greatest power among creatures that player controls.
−8: Each opponent may discard a card. If they don't, they lose 3 life. Repeat this process six more times.

Cursed Mirror

{T}: Add {R}.
As this artifact enters, you may have it become a copy of any creature on the battlefield until end of turn, except it has haste.

Temple of the False God

{T}: Add {C}{C}. Activate only if you control five or more lands.

Victimize

Choose two target creature cards in your graveyard. Sacrifice a creature. If you do, return the chosen cards to the battlefield tapped.

Hecteyes

When this creature enters, each opponent discards a card.

Sepulchral Primordial

Intimidate (This creature can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or creatures that share a color with it.)
When this creature enters, for each opponent, you may put up to one target creature card from that player's graveyard onto the battlefield under your control.

Wild Evocation

At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player reveals a card at random from their hand. If it's a land card, the player puts it onto the battlefield. Otherwise, the player casts it without paying its mana cost if able.

Mountain

Shivan Gorge

{T}: Add {C}.
{2}{R}, {T}: Shivan Gorge deals 1 damage to each opponent.

Terminate

Destroy target creature. It can't be regenerated.

Accursed Marauder

When this creature enters, each player sacrifices a nontoken creature of their choice.

Locke, Treasure Hunter

Locke can't be blocked by creatures with greater power.
Mug — Whenever Locke attacks, each player mills a card. If a land card was milled this way, create a Treasure token. Until end of turn, you may cast a spell from among those cards.

Searstep Pathway

Blightstep Pathway

Blightstep Pathway // Searstep Pathway

Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Terramorphic Expanse

{T}, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

The Ruinous Powers

At the beginning of your upkeep, choose an opponent at random. Exile the top card of that player's library. Until end of turn, you may play that card and you may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast it. When you cast a spell this way, its owner loses life equal to its mana value.

Imposing Grandeur

Each player may discard their hand and draw cards equal to the greatest mana value of a commander they own on the battlefield or in the command zone.

Kefka, Dancing Mad

During your turn, Kefka has indestructible.
At the beginning of your end step, exile a card at random from each opponent's graveyard. You may cast any number of spells from among cards exiled this way without paying their mana costs. Then each player who owns a spell you cast this way loses life equal to its mana value.

Exhume

Each player puts a creature card from their graveyard onto the battlefield.

Strago and Relm

Sketch and Lore — {2}{R}, {T}: Target opponent exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile an instant, sorcery, or creature card. You may cast that card without paying its mana cost. If you cast a creature spell this way, it gains haste and "At the beginning of the end step, sacrifice this creature." Activate only as a sorcery.

Wand of Wonder

{4}, {T}: Roll a d20. Each opponent exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile an instant or sorcery card, then shuffles the rest into their library. You may cast up to X instant and/or sorcery spells from among cards exiled this way without paying their mana costs.
1—9 | X is one.
10—19 | X is two.
20 | X is three.

Magus of the Wheel

{1}{R}, {T}, Sacrifice this creature: Each player discards their hand, then draws seven cards.

Prisoner's Dilemma

Each opponent secretly chooses silence or snitch, then the choices are revealed. If each opponent chose silence, Prisoner's Dilemma deals 4 damage to each of them. If each opponent chose snitch, Prisoner's Dilemma deals 8 damage to each of them. Otherwise, Prisoner's Dilemma deals 12 damage to each opponent who chose silence.
Flashback {5}{R}{R}

Painful Quandary

Whenever an opponent casts a spell, that player loses 5 life unless they discard a card.

Illicit Auction

Each player may bid life for control of target creature. You start the bidding with a bid of 0. In turn order, each player may top the high bid. The bidding ends if the high bid stands. The high bidder loses life equal to the high bid and gains control of the creature. (This effect lasts indefinitely.)

Riveteers Overlook

When this land enters, sacrifice it. When you do, search your library for a basic Swamp, Mountain, or Forest card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle and you gain 1 life.

Shadowblood Ridge

Warp World

Each player shuffles all permanents they own into their library, then reveals that many cards from the top of their library. Each player puts all artifact, creature, and land cards revealed this way onto the battlefield, then does the same for enchantment cards, then puts all cards revealed this way that weren't put onto the battlefield on the bottom of their library.

Blackcleave Cliffs

This land enters tapped unless you control two or fewer other lands.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Haunted Ridge

This land enters tapped unless you control two or more other lands.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Tempt with Mayhem

Tempting offer — Choose target instant or sorcery spell. Each opponent may copy that spell and may choose new targets for the copy they control. You copy that spell once plus an additional time for each opponent who copied the spell this way. You may choose new targets for the copies you control.

Evolving Wilds

Swamp

Thran Dynamo

Espers to Magicite

Exile each opponent's graveyard. When you do, choose up to one target creature card exiled this way. Create a token that's a copy of that card, except it's an artifact and it loses all other card types.

Chaos Warp

The owner of target permanent shuffles it into their library, then reveals the top card of their library. If it's a permanent card, they put it onto the battlefield.

Witch Hunt

Players can't gain life.
At the beginning of your upkeep, this enchantment deals 4 damage to you.
At the beginning of your end step, target opponent chosen at random gains control of this enchantment.

Powerbalance

Whenever an opponent casts a spell, you may reveal the top card of your library. If you do, you may cast that card without paying its mana cost if the two spells have the same mana value.

Canyon Slough

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)
This land enters tapped.
Cycling {2} ({2}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Abrade

Choose one —
• Abrade deals 3 damage to target creature.
• Destroy target artifact.

Sol Ring

Dance with Calamity

Shuffle your library. As many times as you choose, you may exile the top card of your library. If the total mana value of the cards exiled this way is 13 or less, you may cast any number of spells from among those cards without paying their mana costs.

Triple Triad

At the beginning of your upkeep, each player exiles the top card of their library. Until end of turn, you may play the card you own exiled this way and each other card exiled this way with lesser mana value than it without paying their mana costs.

Blasphemous Act

This spell costs {1} less to cast for each creature on the battlefield.
Blasphemous Act deals 13 damage to each creature.

Temple of Malice

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom.)
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Whims of the Fates

Starting with you, each player separates all permanents they control into three piles. Then each player chooses one of their piles at random and sacrifices those permanents. (Piles can be empty.)

Alexios, Deimos of Kosmos

Trample
Alexios attacks each combat if able, can't be sacrificed, and can't attack its owner.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player gains control of Alexios, untaps it, and puts a +1/+1 counter on it. It gains haste until end of turn.

Command the Dreadhorde

Choose any number of target creature and/or planeswalker cards in graveyards. Command the Dreadhorde deals damage to you equal to the total mana value of those cards. Put them onto the battlefield under your control.

Pyromancer's Goggles

{T}: Add {R}. When that mana is spent to cast a red instant or sorcery spell, copy that spell and you may choose new targets for the copy.

Scrambleverse

For each nonland permanent, choose a player at random. Then each player gains control of each permanent for which they were chosen. Untap those permanents.

Wound Reflection

At the beginning of each end step, each opponent loses life equal to the life they lost this turn. (Damage causes loss of life.)

Possibility Storm

Whenever a player casts a spell from their hand, that player exiles it, then exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a card that shares a card type with it. That player may cast that card without paying its mana cost. Then they put all cards exiled with this enchantment on the bottom of their library in a random order.

Grip of Chaos

Whenever a spell or ability is put onto the stack, if it has a single target, reselect its target at random. (Select from among all legal targets.)

Omen Machine

Players can't draw cards.
At the beginning of each player's draw step, that player exiles the top card of their library. If it's a land card, the player puts it onto the battlefield. Otherwise, the player casts it without paying its mana cost if able.

Sycorax Commander

First strike, haste
Sanctified Rules of Combat — When this creature enters, each opponent faces a villainous choice — That opponent discards all the cards in their hand, then draws that many cards minus one, or this creature deals damage to that player equal to the number of cards in their hand.

Rakdos Charm

Choose one —
• Exile target player's graveyard.
• Destroy target artifact.
• Each creature deals 1 damage to its controller.

Liliana, Death's Majesty

+1: Create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token. Mill two cards.
−3: Return target creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield. That creature is a black Zombie in addition to its other colors and types.
−7: Destroy all non-Zombie creatures.

Risky Move

At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player gains control of this enchantment.
When you gain control of this enchantment from another player, choose a creature you control and an opponent. Flip a coin. If you lose the flip, that opponent gains control of that creature.

Graven Cairns

{T}: Add {C}.
{B/R}, {T}: Add {B}{B}, {B}{R}, or {R}{R}.

Arcane Signet

Disrupt Decorum

Goad all creatures you don't control. (Until your next turn, those creatures attack each combat if able and attack a player other than you if able.)