Blood Money

Destroy all creatures. For each nontoken creature destroyed this way, you create a tapped Treasure token.

Wolf in _____ Clothing

When this creature enters, you may put a name sticker on it. When you do, up to X target creatures each get -1/-1 until end of turn, where X is the number of unique vowels on that sticker. (The vowels are A, E, I, O, U, and Y.)

Finishing Move

You get {TK}{TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own. Target creature you control deals damage equal to its power to target creature you don't control.

Ulamog, the Ceaseless Hunger

When you cast this spell, exile two target permanents.
Indestructible
Whenever Ulamog attacks, defending player exiles the top twenty cards of their library.

Insatiable Frugivore

When this creature enters, create a Food token, then you may exile three cards from your graveyard. If you do, repeat this process.
{3}{B}, Sacrifice X Foods: Creatures you control get +X/+0 and gain menace until end of turn.

Toy Boat

Cumulative upkeep—Say "Toy Boat" quickly. (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on this creature, then sacrifice it unless you say "Toy Boat" once for each age counter on it—without pausing between or fumbling it.)

Rock Star

Reach
When this creature enters, you may discard a card. If you do, reveal the top five cards of your library. Ask a person outside the game to choose which of them is most like a rock band. Put that card into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order.

Wastes

_____ Bird Gets the Worm

Flying
When this creature enters, you may put a name sticker on it. You gain X life, where X is the number of unique vowels on that sticker. (The vowels are A, E, I, O, U, and Y.)

Carnival Carnivore

Deathtouch
When Carnival Carnivore enters, you get {TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Moniker Mage

{U}, Say your middle name: This creature gains shroud until end of turn.
{U}, Say an opponent's middle name: This creature gains flying until end of turn.

Global Ruin

Each player chooses from the lands they control a land of each basic land type, then sacrifices the rest.

Widget Contraption

Whenever you crank this Contraption, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Entrapment Maneuver

Target player sacrifices an attacking creature of their choice. You create X 1/1 white Soldier creature tokens, where X is that creature's toughness.

Spatula of the Ages

{4}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You may put a silver-bordered or acorn permanent card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Genetic Recombinator

Whenever you crank this Contraption, up to two target creatures each get +2/+2 until end of turn.

Bartered Cow

When this creature dies and when you discard this card, create a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this token: You gain 3 life.")

Get Your Head in the Game

Flash
When this enchantment enters, exile target nonland permanent until it (this card) leaves the battlefield, then touch it (this card) to your head. When it (this card) stops touching it (your head), sacrifice it (the card, not your head).

Clown Car

When this Vehicle enters, roll X six-sided dice. For each odd result, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token. For each even result, put a +1/+1 counter on this Vehicle.
Crew 2

Lexivore

Whenever this creature deals damage to a player, destroy target permanent other than this creature with the most lines of text in its text box. (If two or more cards are tied, target any one of them.)

Wee Champion

Whenever you place a sticker, this creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn. If it's an art sticker, instead put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.

Prize Wall

Defender
{U}, {T}: You get {TK}.
{4}{U}, {T}: You may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own. Activate only as a sorcery.

Urza's Fun House

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {∞}. Activate only once and only if you control an Urza's Mine, an Urza's Power-Plant, and an Urza's Tower.
{7}, {T}: Head to AskUrza.com and click Urza's Fun House.

Smothering Tithe

Whenever an opponent draws a card, that player may pay {2}. If the player doesn't, you create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this token: Add one mana of any color.")

Rat in the Hat

{T}, Sacrifice this creature: Until end of turn, you may cast target creature card that has a hat from your graveyard.

Flavor Judge

{T}: Choose target spell or ability that targets a permanent you control. Then ask a person outside the game if the story of what will happen makes sense. If they say no, sacrifice this creature and counter that spell or ability.

Old-Fashioned Vampire

Flying
This creature gets +2/+2 and has deathtouch as long as it's dark outdoors.

Gluttonous Troll

Trample
When this creature enters, create a number of Food tokens equal to the number of opponents you have. (Food tokens are artifacts with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this token: You gain 3 life.")
{1}{G}, Sacrifice another nonland permanent: This creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn.

Clown Extruder

Visit — Create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Clay Pigeon

Flying
{1}, Throw this creature into the air at least two feet above your head while seated: If you catch this creature with one hand, prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to you this turn and tap this creature. Otherwise, sacrifice it.

Plague Rats

Plague Rats's power and toughness are each equal to the number of creatures named Plague Rats on the battlefield.

Monoxa, Midway Manager

Whenever you roll a 3 or higher, Monoxa gains first strike until end of turn. If the roll was 4 or higher, it gains menace until end of turn. If the roll was 5 or higher, it gains lifelink until end of turn.
{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

Necro-Impotence

Skip your untap step.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay X life. If you do, untap X permanents.
Pay ½ life: Exile the top card of your library face down. Put that card into your hand at the beginning of the next end step.

Void Winnower

Your opponents can't cast spells with even mana values. (Zero is even.)
Your opponents can't block with creatures with even mana values.

The Cheese Stands Alone

When you control no permanents other than The Cheese Stands Alone and have no cards in hand, you win the game.

Sanguine Sipper

This creature has lifelink as long as you control a stickered permanent.

Extremely Slow Zombie

Last strike (This creature deals combat damage after creatures without last strike.)

Ride Guide

When this creature enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Applejack

Family Gathering — At the beginning of your end step, put a toy you own onto the battlefield as a 2/2 creature token with that toy's name, colors, and creature types. If the toy has wings, the token has flying. If the toy has a horn, scry 2. If it has neither, create a Food token.

This spell can't be countered.
Fry deals 5 damage to target creature or planeswalker that's white or blue.

Complaints Clerk

When this creature enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
Whenever you roll a 1, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Share the Spoils

When this enchantment enters and whenever an opponent loses the game, exile the top card of each player's library.
During each player's turn, that player may play a land or cast a spell from among cards exiled with this enchantment, and they may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast that spell. When they do, exile the top card of their library.

Baron Von Count

Baron Von Count enters with a doom counter on "5."
Whenever you cast a spell with the indicated numeral in its mana cost, text box, power, or toughness, move the doom counter one numeral to the left.
When the doom counter moves from "1," destroy target player and put that doom counter on "5."

Double Take

Choose another player. You draw two cards. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, you draw two cards.

Nuka-Cola Vending Machine

{1}, {T}: Create a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this token: You gain 3 life.")
Whenever you sacrifice a Food, create a tapped Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this token: Add one mana of any color.")

Name Dropping

Gotcha — If an opponent says a word that's in the name of a card in your graveyard, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return that card to your hand.

Incoming!

Each player searches their library for any number of artifact, creature, enchantment, and/or land cards, puts them onto the battlefield, then shuffles.

Swords to Plowshares

Exile target creature. Its controller gains life equal to its power.

S.N.O.T.

You may have S.N.O.T. enter stuck to another creature named S.N.O.T. If you do, all those creatures form a single creature.
S.N.O.T.'s power and toughness are each equal to the square of the number of cards named S.N.O.T. stuck together to form it. (One is a 1/1, two are a 4/4, three are a 9/9, and four are a 16/16. If you manage to get -1 S.N.O.T.s stuck together, it's a 1/1.)

Dee Kay, Finder of the Lost

When Dee Kay enters, open an Attraction.
Whenever you roll a 2, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.
Whenever you roll a 4, you may tap or untap target artifact or creature.
Whenever you roll a 6, return target creature card from your graveyard to your hand.

Souvenir T-Shirt

Gear Up, sponsored by Wizards of the Coast — As this Equipment enters, roll two six-sided dice. For each Magic-branded item you're wearing, roll an additional six-sided die. Choose two of those results.
Equipped creature gets +X/+Y, where X is the first chosen result and Y is the second.
Equip {4}

Sap Sucker

Whenever you crank this Contraption, add {G}. Until end of turn, you don't lose this mana as steps and phases end.

Food Coma

When this enchantment enters, exile target creature an opponent controls until this enchantment leaves the battlefield. Create a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this token: You gain 3 life.")

Smokestack

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may put a soot counter on this artifact.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player sacrifices a permanent of their choice for each soot counter on this artifact.

Goblin Bookie

{R}, {T}: Reflip any coin or reroll any die. (Activate only any time it makes sense.)

Night Shift of the Living Dead

After you roll a die, you may pay 1 life. If you do, increase or decrease the result by 1. Do this only once each turn.
Whenever you roll a 6, create a 2/2 black Zombie Employee creature token.

Gimme Five

You gain 1 life for each person who high-fives you in the next thirty seconds. Each player in an Un-game who high-fives you gains 1 life. (Offer high fives. Don't hit people.)

The Space Family Goblinson

The Space Family Goblinson has trample as long as you've rolled three or more dice this turn.
Whenever you roll a die, put a +1/+1 counter on The Space Family Goblinson.

Boil

Food

{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this token: You gain 3 life.

Sword of Feast and Famine

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from black and from green.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, that player discards a card and you untap all lands you control.
Equip {2}

Fat Ass

This creature gets +2/+2 and has trample as long as you're eating. (Gum isn't food. We checked.)

Insufferable Syphon

Whenever you crank this Contraption, target player discards a card.

Down for Repairs

Target opponent reveals their hand. You choose a nonland card from it. That player discards that card. Destroy up to one target Attraction that player controls. (It's put into their junkyard.)

"Lifetime" Pass Holder

This creature enters tapped.
When this creature dies, open an Attraction.
Whenever you roll to visit your Attractions, if you roll a 6, you may return this card from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Liberated Livestock

When this creature dies, create a 1/1 white Cat creature token with lifelink, a 1/1 white Bird creature token with flying, and a 2/4 white Ox creature token. For each of those tokens, you may put an Aura card from your hand and/or graveyard onto the battlefield attached to it.

Scathe Zombies

Park Bleater

Whenever another creature you own enters, you get {TK}.
{W}, {T}: You may put a sticker on a creature you own that entered this turn.

Juggletron

Trample
Whenever this creature attacks, you may put an art sticker on it.
This creature gets +3/+0 for each item in its art that's not touching Juggletron, another item, or the card frame.

Food Fight

Artifacts you control have "{2}, Sacrifice this artifact: It deals damage to any target equal to 1 plus the number of permanents named Food Fight you control."

Armory Mice

Celebration — This creature gets +0/+2 as long as two or more nonland permanents entered the battlefield under your control this turn.

Confusion in the Ranks

Whenever an artifact, creature, or enchantment enters, its controller chooses target permanent another player controls that shares a card type with it. Exchange control of those permanents.

Jack-in-the-Mox

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. This ability has the indicated effect.
1 — Sacrifice this artifact and you lose 5 life.
2 — Add {W}.
3 — Add {U}.
4 — Add {B}.
5 — Add {R}.
6 — Add {G}.

Earth Elemental

Pet Project

Whenever you crank this Contraption, put target creature card from an opponent's graveyard onto the battlefield under your control.

The Big Top

{T}: Add one mana of any color that appears on your top. (A top is an outerwear garment worn on the upper body.)

Free-Range Chicken

{1}{G}: Roll two six-sided dice. If both results are the same, this creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is that result. If the total of those results is equal to any other total you have rolled this turn for this ability, sacrifice it. (For example, if you roll two 3s, it gets +3/+3. If you roll a 4 and a 2 for this ability later that turn, sacrifice it.)

Ladies' Knight

Flying
Spells cast by players wearing at least one item of women's clothing cost {1} less to cast. (You can define women's clothing as you see fit. Be reasonable.)

Kickoff Celebrations

Start your engines! (If you have no speed, it starts at 1. It increases once on each of your turns when an opponent loses life. Max speed is 4.)
When this enchantment enters, you may discard a card. If you do, draw two cards.
Max speed — Sacrifice this enchantment: Creatures and Vehicles you control gain haste until end of turn.

Robo-Piñata

When Robo-Piñata dies, choose one —
• You get {TK}{TK}.
• You may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Circuits Act

Roll three six-sided dice. For each different result, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Dairy Cow

Grazing type (This creature enters the battlefield with five milk counters on it for each Forest and/or Plant you control.)

Zombie Fanboy

As this creature enters, choose an artist.
Whenever a permanent with art by the chosen artist is put into a graveyard, put two +1/+1 counters on this creature.

Balloon Stand

Visit — Choose one.
• Create a 1/1 red Balloon creature token with flying.
• Sacrifice a Balloon. If you do, target creature gains flying until end of turn.

This creature enters with a +1/+1 counter on it for each Magic game you have lost to one of your opponents since you last won a game against them.

Clever Combo

Search your library for a host card or a card with augment, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Krazy Kow

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. If you a roll a 1, sacrifice this creature and it deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.

Slayer's Cleaver

Equipped creature gets +3/+1 and must be blocked by an Eldrazi if able.
Equip {4}

How Is This a Par Three?!

Whenever you cast a spell, you may have target player mill X cards, where X is the number of words in that spell's name.

Vegetation Abomination

Deathtouch
{T}, Sacrifice this creature: Roll a six-sided die. You gain life equal to the result.

Spider-Ham, Peter Porker

When Spider-Ham enters, create a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this token: You gain 3 life.")
Animal May-Ham — Other Spiders, Boars, Bats, Bears, Birds, Cats, Dogs, Frogs, Jackals, Lizards, Mice, Otters, Rabbits, Raccoons, Rats, Squirrels, Turtles, and Wolves you control get +1/+1.

Top-Secret Tunnel

Whenever you crank this Contraption, target creature can't be blocked this turn.

Keeper of the Accord

At the beginning of each opponent's end step, if that player controls more creatures than you, create a 1/1 white Soldier creature token.
At the beginning of each opponent's end step, if that player controls more lands than you, you may search your library for a basic Plains card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Bamboozling Beeble

Protection from Robots
{1}, {T}: The next time target player would roll one or more dice this turn, instead they roll that many dice plus one and you choose one of those rolls to ignore.

Plate Spinning

Whenever you cast a spell, copy it and you may choose new targets for the copy. Then balance a card from outside the game on one of your fingertips. When that card falls or touches another card, sacrifice this enchantment.

Art Appreciation

Put an art sticker on a nonland permanent you own. Then ask a person outside the game to rate its new art on a scale from 1 to 5, where 5 is the best. When they rate the art, up to that many target creatures can't block this turn.

Hungry Hungry Heifer

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may remove a counter from a permanent you control. If you don't, sacrifice this creature.

Case of the Uneaten Feast

Whenever a creature you control enters, you gain 1 life.
To solve — You've gained 5 or more life this turn. (If unsolved, solve at the beginning of your end step.)
Solved — Sacrifice this Case: Creature cards in your graveyard gain "You may cast this card from your graveyard" until end of turn.

I'm Rubber, You're Glue

When you speak in non-rhyming sentences, sacrifice this enchantment.
Say "I'm rubber, you're glue. Everything bounces off me and sticks to you": Change the target of target spell or ability that targets only you.

Supersize

Target creature gets +3½/+3½ until end of turn.

Collector Protector

{W}, Give an opponent a nonland card you own from outside the game: Prevent the next 1 damage that would be dealt to you or this creature this turn.

Poultrygeist

Flying
Whenever a creature dies, you may roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, sacrifice this creature. Otherwise, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.

B-I-N-G-O

Trample
Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value.
This creature gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.

Zhulodok, Void Gorger

Colorless spells you cast from your hand with mana value 7 or greater have "Cascade, cascade." (When you cast one, exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card that costs less. You may cast it without paying its mana cost. Put the exiled cards on the bottom in a random order. Then do it again.)