Party Crasher

Haste
You can attack with Party Crasher once each combat during each opponent's turn.

Garbage Elemental

When Garbage Elemental enters, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)
Undying (When this creature dies, if it had no +1/+1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a +1/+1 counter on it.)

Watermarket

{T}: Add {C}{C}. Spend this mana only to cast spells with watermarks.

Lobe Lobber

Equipped creature has "{T}: This creature deals 1 damage to target player or planeswalker. Roll a six-sided die. On a 5 or higher, untap it."
Equip {2}

Kill! Destroy!

Destroy target nonblack creature.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "kill" or "destroy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Kill! Destroy! from your graveyard to your hand.

Dragon Mage

Flying
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, each player discards their hand, then draws seven cards.

Blightsteel Colossus

Trample, infect, indestructible
If Blightsteel Colossus would be put into a graveyard from anywhere, reveal Blightsteel Colossus and shuffle it into its owner's library instead.

Mary O'Kill

{1}{B/R}: Switch a Killbot or Mary O'Kill in your hand with one on the battlefield. (If a creature is tapped, the switched creature is tapped. The same is true for untapped, attacking, blocking, enchanted, equipped, and targeted. Any counters on a creature are on the switched creature instead.)

Despondent Killbot

Pawn of Ulamog

Whenever Pawn of Ulamog or another nontoken creature you control dies, you may create a 0/1 colorless Eldrazi Spawn creature token. It has "Sacrifice this creature: Add {C}."

Grusilda, Monster Masher

Combined, enchanted, and equipped creatures you control have menace.
{3}{B}{R}, {T}: Put two target creature cards from graveyards onto the battlefield combined into one creature under your control. (Its power is equal to their total power, its toughness is equal to their total toughness, and it has their names, mana costs, types, text boxes, etc.)

Grimdancer

Grimdancer enters with your choice of two different counters on it from among menace, deathtouch, and lifelink.

Exava, Rakdos Blood Witch

First strike, haste
Unleash (You may have this creature enter with a +1/+1 counter on it. It can't block as long as it has a +1/+1 counter on it.)
Each other creature you control with a +1/+1 counter on it has haste.

Booster Tutor

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of them into your hand. (Remove that card from your deck before beginning a new game.)

Mesmeric Orb

Whenever a permanent becomes untapped, that permanent's controller mills a card.

Curious Killbot

Painiac

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. Painiac gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the result.

Altar of Dementia

Sacrifice a creature: Target player mills cards equal to the sacrificed creature's power.

Saw in Half

Destroy target creature. If that creature dies this way, its controller creates two tokens that are copies of that creature, except their power is half that creature's power and their toughness is half that creature's toughness. Round up each time.

Flame Spill

Flame Spill deals 4 damage to target creature. Excess damage is dealt to that creature's controller instead.

Burning Sun's Avatar

When Burning Sun's Avatar enters, it deals 3 damage to target opponent or planeswalker and 3 damage to up to one target creature.

Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Black Market

Whenever a creature dies, put a charge counter on Black Market.
At the beginning of your first main phase, add {B} for each charge counter on Black Market.

Delighted Killbot

Archfiend of Ifnir

Flying
Whenever you cycle or discard another card, put a -1/-1 counter on each creature your opponents control.
Cycling {2} ({2}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Syr Konrad, the Grim

Whenever another creature dies, or a creature card is put into a graveyard from anywhere other than the battlefield, or a creature card leaves your graveyard, Syr Konrad, the Grim deals 1 damage to each opponent.
{1}{B}: Each player mills a card. (They each put the top card of their library into their graveyard.)

Pestilent Spirit

Menace, deathtouch
Instant and sorcery spells you control have deathtouch. (Any amount of damage they deal to a creature is enough to destroy it.)

Super-Duper Death Ray

Trample (This spell can deal excess damage to its target's controller.)
Super-Duper Death Ray deals 4 damage to target creature.

Baron Von Count

Baron Von Count enters with a doom counter on "5."
Whenever you cast a spell with the indicated numeral in its mana cost, text box, power, or toughness, move the doom counter one numeral to the left.
When the doom counter moves from "1," destroy target player and put that doom counter on "5."

Over My Dead Bodies

Creature cards in graveyards can attack and block as though they were on the battlefield, can block or be blocked only by creature cards in graveyards, are Zombies in addition to their other types, and have undeathtouch. (If they would deal damage to a creature card, exile that creature card instead.)
Creature cards in your graveyard have haste.

Secret Base

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a spell that shares a watermark with Secret Base.

Snickering Squirrel

You may tap Snickering Squirrel to increase the result of a die any player rolled by 1.

Pathrazer of Ulamog

Annihilator 3 (Whenever this creature attacks, defending player sacrifices three permanents of their choice.)
Pathrazer of Ulamog can't be blocked except by three or more creatures.

Squirrel-Powered Scheme

Increase the result of each die you roll by 2.

Goblin Chainwhirler

First strike
When Goblin Chainwhirler enters, it deals 1 damage to each opponent and each creature and planeswalker they control.

Lost Vale

(Transforms from Dowsing Dagger.)
{T}: Add three mana of any one color.

Dowsing Dagger

When Dowsing Dagger enters, target opponent creates two 0/2 green Plant creature tokens with defender.
Equipped creature gets +2/+1.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, you may transform Dowsing Dagger.
Equip {2}

Dowsing Dagger // Lost Vale

Dreamstealer

Menace
Whenever Dreamstealer deals combat damage to a player, that player discards that many cards.
Eternalize {4}{B}{B} ({4}{B}{B}, Exile this card from your graveyard: Create a token that's a copy of it, except it's a 4/4 black Zombie Human Wizard with no mana cost. Eternalize only as a sorcery.)

Altar of the Brood

Whenever another permanent you control enters, each opponent mills a card.

Modular Monstrosity

Whenever an opponent casts a spell, you have five seconds to choose a keyword you haven't chosen for a card named Modular Monstrosity today that's been printed on a creature card. If you do, Modular Monstrosity gains that ability. Otherwise, Modular Monstrosity loses all keyword abilities.

Knollspine Dragon

Flying
When Knollspine Dragon enters, you may discard your hand and draw cards equal to the damage dealt to target opponent this turn.

Blood Curdle

Destroy target creature. Put a menace counter on a creature you control. (It can't be blocked except by two or more creatures.)

Wurmcoil Engine

Deathtouch, lifelink
When Wurmcoil Engine dies, create a 3/3 colorless Phyrexian Wurm artifact creature token with deathtouch and a 3/3 colorless Phyrexian Wurm artifact creature token with lifelink.

Summon the Pack

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put all creature cards revealed this way onto the battlefield under your control. They're Zombies in addition to their other types. (Remove those cards from your deck before beginning a new game.)

Arcane Signet

Cavalier of Flame

{1}{R}: Creatures you control get +1/+0 and gain haste until end of turn.
When Cavalier of Flame enters, discard any number of cards, then draw that many cards.
When Cavalier of Flame dies, it deals X damage to each opponent and each planeswalker they control, where X is the number of land cards in your graveyard.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.
{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.

Enraged Killbot

Exhumer Thrull

Haunt (When this creature dies, exile it haunting target creature.)
When Exhumer Thrull enters or the creature it haunts dies, return target creature card from your graveyard to your hand.

Swamp

Anger

Haste
As long as Anger is in your graveyard and you control a Mountain, creatures you control have haste.

The Big Idea

{2}{B/R}{B/R}, {T}: Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Brainiac creature tokens equal to the result.
Tap three untapped Brainiacs you control: The next time you would roll a six-sided die, instead roll two six-sided dice and use the total of those results.