Frenzied Saddlebrute

Haste
All creatures can attack your opponents and planeswalkers your opponents control as though those creatures had haste.

Skull Saucer

Flying
When this creature enters, destroy target creature and put your head on the table. Sacrifice this creature when your head stops touching the table.

Mana Screw

{1}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add {C}{C}. Activate only as an instant.

Vivid Crag

This land enters tapped with two charge counters on it.
{T}: Add {R}.
{T}, Remove a charge counter from this land: Add one mana of any color.

Swamp

Akki Battle Squad

Whenever one or more modified creatures you control attack, untap all modified creatures you control. After this phase, there is an additional combat phase. This ability triggers only once each turn. (Equipment, Auras you control, and counters are modifications.)

Temple of Malice

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom.)
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Goblin Mime

Viscera Seer

Sacrifice a creature: Scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom.)

Bloodfell Caves

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, you gain 1 life.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Faithless Looting

Draw two cards, then discard two cards.
Flashback {2}{R} (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

My First Tome

{1}, {T}: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and they guessed wrong, you draw a card.

Pygmy Giant

{R}, {T}, Sacrifice a creature: This creature deals X damage to target creature, where X is a number in the sacrificed creature's text box.

Bumbling Pangolin

When this creature enters, you may destroy target artifact.

Split Screen

When this artifact enters, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it.
Play with your libraries' top cards revealed.
When this artifact leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.

Deal Damage

Deal Damage deals 4 damage to any target.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "deal" or "damage," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Deal Damage from your graveyard to your hand.

Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Pointy Finger of Doom

{3}, {T}: Spin this artifact in the middle of the table so that it rotates completely at least once, then destroy the closest permanent the finger points to.

Khorvath's Fury

For each player, choose friend or foe. Each friend discards all cards from their hand, then draws that many cards plus one. Khorvath's Fury deals damage to each foe equal to the number of cards in their hand.

Zzzyxas's Abyss

At the beginning of your upkeep, destroy all nonland permanents with the first name alphabetically among nonland permanents.

Mirage Phalanx

Soulbond (You may pair this creature with another unpaired creature when either enters. They remain paired for as long as you control both of them.)
As long as Mirage Phalanx is paired with another creature, each of those creatures has "At the beginning of combat on your turn, create a token that's a copy of this creature, except it has haste and loses soulbond. Exile it at end of combat."

Ricochet

Whenever a player casts a spell that targets a single player, each player rolls a six-sided die. Change the target of that spell to the player with the lowest result. Reroll to break ties, if necessary.

Handcuffs

As this enchantment enters, choose a player.
When the chosen player's hands aren't touching each other, sacrifice this enchantment and that player sacrifices three permanents.

Anje's Ravager

This creature attacks each combat if able.
Whenever this creature attacks, discard your hand, then draw three cards.
Madness {1}{R} (If you discard this card, discard it into exile. When you do, cast it for its madness cost or put it into your graveyard.)

The Ultimate Nightmare of Wizards of the Coast® Customer Service

The Ultimate Nightmare of Wizards of the Coast® Customer Service deals X damage to each of Y target creatures and Z target players or planeswalkers.

Magus of the Wheel

{1}{R}, {T}, Sacrifice this creature: Each player discards their hand, then draws seven cards.

Grusilda, Monster Masher

Combined, enchanted, and equipped creatures you control have menace.
{3}{B}{R}, {T}: Put two target creature cards from graveyards onto the battlefield combined into one creature under your control. (Its power is equal to their total power, its toughness is equal to their total toughness, and it has their names, mana costs, types, text boxes, etc.)

Sol Ring

Enter the Dungeon

Players play a Magic subgame under the table, starting at 5 life and using their libraries as their decks. The winner searches their library for two cards, puts those cards into their hand, then shuffles.

Water Gun Balloon Game

As this artifact enters, each player puts a pop! counter on "0."
Whenever a player casts a spell, move that player's pop! counter up one.
Whenever a player's pop! counter hits "5," that player creates a 5/5 pink Giant Teddy Bear creature token and resets all pop! counters to "0."

Over My Dead Bodies

Creature cards in graveyards can attack and block as though they were on the battlefield, can block or be blocked only by creature cards in graveyards, are Zombies in addition to their other types, and have undeathtouch. (If they would deal damage to a creature card, exile that creature card instead.)
Creature cards in your graveyard have haste.

Yet Another Aether Vortex

All creatures have haste.
Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.
Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.

Six-y Beast

As this creature enters, you secretly put six or fewer +1/+1 counters on it, then an opponent guesses the number of counters. If that player guesses right, sacrifice this creature after it enters.

Change of Fortune

Discard your hand, then draw a card for each card you've discarded this turn.

Strategy, Schmategy

Roll a six-sided die. Strategy, Schmategy has the indicated effect.
1 — Do nothing.
2 — Destroy all artifacts.
3 — Destroy all lands.
4 — Strategy, Schmategy deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.
5 — Each player discards their hand and draws seven cards.
6 — Repeat this process two more times.

Buried Alive

Search your library for up to three creature cards, put them into your graveyard, then shuffle.

Bloodletter

When the names of three or more nonland permanents begin with the same letter, sacrifice this creature. If you do, it deals 2 damage to each creature and each player.

Modular Monstrosity

Whenever an opponent casts a spell, you have five seconds to choose a keyword you haven't chosen for a card named Modular Monstrosity today that's been printed on a creature card. If you do, this creature gains that ability. Otherwise, this creature loses all keyword abilities.

Shadowblood Ridge

Booster Tutor

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of them into your hand. (Remove that card from your deck before beginning a new game.)

Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Dragon Mage

Flying
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, each player discards their hand, then draws seven cards.

Deadhead

{0}: Return this card from your graveyard to the battlefield. Activate only if an opponent isn't touching their hand (of cards).

Urborg Volcano

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Hazmat Suit (Used)

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+1 and has menace.
Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches enchanted creature, that player loses 2 life.

Bojuka Bog

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, exile target player's graveyard.
{T}: Add {B}.

The Countdown Is at One

Players play a Magic subgame, starting at 1 life and using their libraries as their decks. For the rest of the main game, if a source would deal damage to a player who didn't win the subgame, it deals double that damage to that player instead.

Rakdos Carnarium

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, return a land you control to its owner's hand.
{T}: Add {B}{R}.

Letter Bomb

When this artifact enters, sign it and shuffle it into target player's library. That player reveals each card they draw until they draw this card. When that player draws this card, it deals 19½ damage to them.

Kardur, Doomscourge

When Kardur enters, until your next turn, creatures your opponents control attack each combat if able and attack a player other than you if able.
Whenever an attacking creature dies, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.

Sin Prodder

Menace
At the beginning of your upkeep, reveal the top card of your library. Any opponent may have you put that card into your graveyard. If a player does, this creature deals damage to that player equal to that card's mana value. Otherwise, put that card into your hand.

Swiftfoot Boots

Equipped creature has hexproof and haste. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control. It can attack and {T} no matter when it came under your control.)
Equip {1} ({1}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Flamerush Rider

Whenever this creature attacks, create a token that's a copy of another target attacking creature and that's tapped and attacking. Exile the token at end of combat.
Dash {2}{R}{R} (You may cast this spell for its dash cost. If you do, it gains haste, and it's returned from the battlefield to its owner's hand at the beginning of the next end step.)

Vivid Marsh

This land enters tapped with two charge counters on it.
{T}: Add {B}.
{T}, Remove a charge counter from this land: Add one mana of any color.

Rare-B-Gone

Each player sacrifices all permanents that are rare or mythic rare, then each player reveals their hand and discards all cards that are rare or mythic rare.

Mortivore

Mortivore's power and toughness are each equal to the number of creature cards in all graveyards.
{B}: Regenerate this creature. (The next time this creature would be destroyed this turn, instead tap it, remove it from combat, and heal all damage on it.)

Fleshbag Marauder

When this creature enters, each player sacrifices a creature of their choice.

Commander's Sphere

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.
Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.

Archfiend of Depravity

Flying
At the beginning of each opponent's end step, that player chooses up to two creatures they control, then sacrifices the rest.

Eye to Eye

You and target creature's controller have a staring contest. If you win, destroy that creature.

Artisan of Kozilek

When you cast this spell, you may return target creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield.
Annihilator 2 (Whenever this creature attacks, defending player sacrifices two permanents of their choice.)

Kill! Destroy!

Destroy target nonblack creature.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "kill" or "destroy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Kill! Destroy! from your graveyard to your hand.

Tresserhorn Sinks

Hangman

As this creature enters, secretly note a word with six to eight letters.
{1}: Target player who doesn't control this creature guesses the noted word or an unguessed letter in that word. If they guess wrong, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature. Any player may activate this ability.
When a player guesses the noted word or all of its letters, sacrifice this creature.

Cathartic Reunion

As an additional cost to cast this spell, discard two cards.
Draw three cards.

Goblin Diplomats

{T}: Each creature attacks this turn if able.

Sire of Insanity

At the beginning of each end step, each player discards their hand.

Ninja

You may activate this card's augment ability any time you could cast an instant.
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player,
Augment {2}{B} ({2}{B}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as—oh, never mind.)

Anger

Haste
As long as this card is in your graveyard and you control a Mountain, creatures you control have haste.

Reliquary Tower

You have no maximum hand size.
{T}: Add {C}.

Nether Traitor

Haste
Shadow (This creature can block or be blocked by only creatures with shadow.)
Whenever another creature is put into your graveyard from the battlefield, you may pay {B}. If you do, return this card from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if this card is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return this artifact to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see this artifact.
{2}, Sacrifice this artifact: Destroy target attacking creature.

Life's Finale

Destroy all creatures, then search target opponent's library for up to three creature cards and put them into their graveyard. Then that player shuffles.

Rod of Spanking

{2}, {T}: This artifact deals 1 damage to target player. Then untap this artifact unless that player says "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"

Infinity Elemental

Big Boa Constrictor

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. Target opponent loses life equal to the result.

It That Gets Left Hanging

When this creature enters, ask a person outside the game to high-five you. If they won't, this creature gains haste until end of turn.

Kheru Mind-Eater

Menace
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, that player exiles a card from their hand face down.
You may look at cards exiled with this creature, and you may play lands and cast spells from among those cards.

Lightning Greaves

Equipped creature has haste and shroud. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities.)
Equip {0}

Underdome

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.