Uncle Istvan

Prevent all damage that would be dealt to Uncle Istvan by creatures.

Enormous Energy Blade

Equipped creature gets +4/+0.
Whenever Enormous Energy Blade becomes attached to a creature, tap that creature.
Equip {2} ({2}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Deal Gone Bad

Target creature gets -3/-3 until end of turn. Target player mills three cards. (They put the top three cards of their library into their graveyard.)

Frost Bite

Frost Bite deals 2 damage to target creature or planeswalker. If you control three or more snow permanents, it deals 3 damage instead.

Plate Armor

Equipped creature gets +3/+3 and has ward {1}. (Whenever equipped creature becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, counter it unless that player pays {1}.)
Equip {3}. This ability costs {1} less to activate for each other Equipment you control. ({3}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Mandatory Friendship Shackles

Whenever you crank Mandatory Friendship Shackles, target creature gets -1/-1 until end of turn.

Fat Ass

Fat Ass gets +2/+2 and has trample as long as you're eating. (Gum isn't food. We checked.)

Hornet Cannon

{3}, {T}: Create a 1/1 colorless Insect artifact creature token with flying and haste named Hornet. Destroy it at the beginning of the next end step.

Narcissism

{G}, Discard a card: Target creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn.
{G}, Sacrifice Narcissism: Target creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn.

Willing Test Subject

Reach
Whenever you roll a 4 or higher on a die, put a +1/+1 counter on Willing Test Subject.
{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

Hot Soup

Equipped creature can't be blocked.
Whenever equipped creature is dealt damage, destroy it.
Equip {3} ({3}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Sinkhole

Droning Bureaucrats

{X}, {T}: Each creature with mana value X can't attack or block this turn.

Divine Smite

Target creature or planeswalker an opponent controls phases out. If that permanent is black, exile it instead. (If it phases out, treat it and anything attached to it as though they don't exist until its controller's next turn.)

Reparations

Whenever an opponent casts a spell that targets you or a creature you control, you may draw a card.

Natural Selection

Look at the top three cards of target player's library, then put them back in any order. You may have that player shuffle.

Need for Speed

Sacrifice a land: Target creature gains haste until end of turn.

Improvised Weaponry

Improvised Weaponry deals 2 damage to any target. Create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")

Bumper Cars

Visit — Target creature must be blocked this turn if able.

Criminal Past

Commander creatures you own have menace and "This creature gets +X/+0, where X is the number of creature cards in your graveyard." (A creature with menace can't be blocked except by two or more creatures.)

Mortal Combat

At the beginning of your upkeep, if twenty or more creature cards are in your graveyard, you win the game.

Righteousness

Target blocking creature gets +7/+7 until end of turn.

Hand of Death

Cancel

Rite of Passage

Whenever a creature you control is dealt damage, put a +1/+1 counter on it. (It must survive the damage to get the counter.)

Barbarian Horde

Vikya, Scorching Stalwart

Training (Whenever this creature attacks with another creature with greater power, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.)
{4}{R}, {Q}, Discard a card: Vikya, Scorching Stalwart deals damage equal to its power to any target. If excess damage was dealt to a creature this way, draw a card. ({Q} is the untap symbol.)

Decision Paralysis

Tap up to two target creatures. Those creatures don't untap during their controller's next untap step.

Encrust

Enchant artifact or creature
Enchanted permanent doesn't untap during its controller's untap step and its activated abilities can't be activated.

Tectonic Instability

Whenever a land enters, tap all lands its controller controls.

Anarchist

When Anarchist enters, you may return target sorcery card from your graveyard to your hand.

Gus enters with a +1/+1 counter on it for each Magic game you have lost to one of your opponents since you last won a game against them.

Squirrel Mob

Squirrel Mob gets +1/+1 for each other Squirrel on the battlefield.

Fear

Enchant creature (Target a creature as you cast this. This card enters attached to that creature.)
Enchanted creature has fear. (It can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or black creatures.)

Master Chef

Commander creatures you own have "This creature enters with an additional +1/+1 counter on it" and "Other creatures you control enter with an additional +1/+1 counter on them."

Garbage Elemental

Battle cry (Whenever this creature attacks, each other attacking creature gets +1/+0 until end of turn.)
When Garbage Elemental enters, roll two six-sided dice. Create a number of 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens equal to the difference between those results.

Exterminatus

Nonland permanents your opponents control lose indestructible until end of turn.
Destroy all nonland permanents.

Rocket-Powered Turbo Slug

Super haste (This may attack the turn before you cast it. (You may put this card from your hand onto the battlefield tapped and attacking during your declare attackers step. If you do, you lose the game at the beginning of your next turn's end step unless you pay this card's mana cost during that turn.))

Forcefield

{1}: The next time an unblocked creature of your choice would deal combat damage to you this turn, prevent all but 1 of that damage.

Childhood Horror

Flying
Threshold — As long as seven or more cards are in your graveyard, Childhood Horror gets +2/+2 and can't block.

The Lost and the Damned

Whenever a land you control enters from anywhere other than your hand or you cast a spell from anywhere other than your hand, create a 3/3 red Spawn creature token.

Bureaucracy

Pursuant to subsection 3.1(4) of Richard's Rules of Order, at the beginning of the upkeep of each participant in this game of the Magic: The Gathering® trading card game (hereafter known as "PLAYER"), that PLAYER performs all actions in the sequence of previously added actions (hereafter known as "ACTION QUEUE"), in the order those actions were added, then adds another action to the end of the ACTION QUEUE. All actions must be simple physical or verbal actions that a player can perform while sitting in a chair, without jeopardizing the health and security of said PLAYER.
When any PLAYER does not perform all the prescribed actions in the correct order, sacrifice Bureaucracy and said PLAYER discards their complement of cards in hand (hereafter known as "HAND").

Crusade

Demonic Attorney

Remove Demonic Attorney from your deck before playing if you're not playing for ante.
Each player antes the top card of their library.

Divide by Zero

Return target spell or permanent with mana value 1 or greater to its owner's hand.
Learn. (You may reveal a Lesson card you own from outside the game and put it into your hand, or discard a card to draw a card.)

Underdome

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.

Filth

Swampwalk (This creature can't be blocked as long as defending player controls a Swamp.)
As long as Filth is in your graveyard and you control a Swamp, creatures you control have swampwalk.

Commune with Spirits

Look at the top four cards of your library. You may reveal an enchantment or land card from among them and put it into your hand. Put the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order.

Great Wall

Creatures with plainswalk can be blocked as though they didn't have plainswalk.

Critical Hit

Target creature gains double strike until end of turn.
When you roll a natural 20, return Critical Hit from your graveyard to your hand. (A natural 20 is a roll that displays 20 on the die.)

Nostalgic Dreams

As an additional cost to cast this spell, discard X cards.
Return X target cards from your graveyard to your hand. Exile Nostalgic Dreams.

Karma

At the beginning of each player's upkeep, Karma deals damage to that player equal to the number of Swamps they control.

Noble Heritage

Commander creatures you own have "When this creature enters and at the beginning of your upkeep, each player may put two +1/+1 counters on a creature they control. For each opponent who does, you gain protection from that player until your next turn." (You can't be targeted, dealt damage, or enchanted by anything controlled by that player.)

Preacher

You may choose not to untap Preacher during your untap step.
{T}: For as long as Preacher remains tapped, gain control of target creature of an opponent's choice they control.

Really Epic Punch

Target creature you control gets +2/+2 if it's a host or has augment. Then it fights target creature you don't control.

Cement Shoes

Equipped creature gets +3/+3 and has "At the beginning of your end step, tap this creature."
Equipped creature doesn't untap during its controller's untap step.
Equip {2} ({2}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Obliterate

This spell can't be countered.
Destroy all artifacts, creatures, and lands. They can't be regenerated.

Some Disassembly Required

{B}, Sacrifice a creature: Distribute the sacrificed creature's keyword abilities among any number of other target creatures until end of turn. If it's December, you gain 1 life for each of those keywords.

Harsh Justice

Cast this spell only during the declare attackers step and only if you've been attacked this step.
This turn, whenever an attacking creature deals combat damage to you, it deals that much damage to its controller.

Hypnotic Swirly Disc

Whenever you crank Hypnotic Swirly Disc, target player mills X cards, where X is the number of creatures you control.

An Offer You Can't Refuse

Counter target noncreature spell. Its controller creates two Treasure tokens. (They're artifacts with "{T}, Sacrifice this token: Add one mana of any color.")

Jackhammer

Equipped creature gets +2/+0.
Equip {2} ({2}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Compost

Whenever a black card is put into an opponent's graveyard from anywhere, you may draw a card.

Twisted Experiment

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +3/-1.

Damnation

Destroy all creatures. They can't be regenerated.

Boa Constrictor

{T}: Boa Constrictor gets +3/+3 until end of turn.

Human Frailty

Bosom Buddy

Whenever you cast a spell, you may gain ½ life for each word in that spell's name.

Nut Collector

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.
Threshold — All Squirrels get +2/+2 as long as seven or more cards are in your graveyard.

Breeding Pool

({T}: Add {G} or {U}.)
As Breeding Pool enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Smart Ass

Whenever Smart Ass attacks, choose a card name. If defending player has no cards with the chosen name in their hand, they may reveal their hand. If they don't reveal their hand, Smart Ass can't be blocked this turn.

Reckless Abandon

As an additional cost to cast this spell, sacrifice a creature.
Reckless Abandon deals 4 damage to any target.

Fascist Art Director

{W}{W}: Fascist Art Director gains protection from the artist of your choice until end of turn.

Time Stop

End the turn. (Exile all spells and abilities, including this spell. The player whose turn it is discards down to their maximum hand size. Damage heals and "this turn" and "until end of turn" effects end.)

Inflation Station

Whenever you crank Inflation Station, target creature gets +3/+3 until end of turn.

Lobotomy

Target player reveals their hand, then you choose a card other than a basic land card from it. Search that player's graveyard, hand, and library for all cards with the same name as the chosen card and exile them. Then that player shuffles.

Chicken à la King

Whenever a 6 is rolled on a six-sided die, put a +1/+1 counter on each Bird. (You may roll dice only when instructed to.)
Tap an untapped Bird you control: Roll a six-sided die. (Like now.)

Exponential Growth

Until end of turn, double target creature's power X times.

Book Burning

Any player may have Book Burning deal 6 damage to them. If no one does, target player mills six cards.

Fountain of Youth

Massacre

If an opponent controls a Plains and you control a Swamp, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost.
All creatures get -2/-2 until end of turn.

First Day of Class

Whenever a creature you control enters this turn, put a +1/+1 counter on it and it gains haste until end of turn.
Learn. (You may reveal a Lesson card you own from outside the game and put it into your hand, or discard a card to draw a card.)

Goblin Piledriver

Protection from blue (This creature can't be blocked, targeted, dealt damage, or enchanted by anything blue.)
Whenever Goblin Piledriver attacks, it gets +2/+0 until end of turn for each other attacking Goblin.

Disease Carriers

When Disease Carriers dies, target creature gets -2/-2 until end of turn.

Bottomless Pit

At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player discards a card at random.

Moment of Silence

Target player skips their next combat phase this turn.

Lightning Bolt

Lightning Bolt deals 3 damage to any target.

Bone Flute

{2}, {T}: All creatures get -1/-0 until end of turn.

Mourning

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets -2/-0.
{B}: Return Mourning to its owner's hand.

Blackmail

Target player reveals three cards from their hand and you choose one of them. That player discards that card.

Drench the Soil in Their Blood

When you set this scheme in motion, after this main phase, there is an additional combat phase followed by an additional main phase. Creatures you control gain vigilance until end of turn.

Leeches

Target player loses all poison counters. Leeches deals that much damage to that player.

Immard, the Stormcleaver

Whenever Immard, the Stormcleaver enters or attacks, put a charge counter on it or remove one from it. When you remove a counter this way, choose one —
• Immard deals 4 damage to any target.
• Immard gains lifelink and indestructible until end of turn.

Wet Willie of the Damned

Wet Willie of the Damned deals 2½ damage to any target and you gain 2½ life.

Big Play

Target creature gets +2/+2 and gains reach until end of turn. Put a +1/+1 counter on it. (A creature with reach can block creatures with flying.)

Sensory Deprivation

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets -3/-0.

Resurrection

Return target creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Hurricane

Hurricane deals X damage to each creature with flying and each player.

Deranged Hermit

Echo {3}{G}{G} (At the beginning of your upkeep, if this came under your control since the beginning of your last upkeep, sacrifice it unless you pay its echo cost.)
When Deranged Hermit enters, create four 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens.
Squirrel creatures get +1/+1.

Plague Wind

Destroy all creatures you don't control. They can't be regenerated.

Maniacal Rage

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and can't block.

Power Armor

Domain — {3}, {T}: Target creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each basic land type among lands you control.

Force of Nature

Trample (This creature can deal excess combat damage to the player or planeswalker it's attacking.)
At the beginning of your upkeep, Force of Nature deals 8 damage to you unless you pay {G}{G}{G}{G}.

Blight Grenade

Destroy target creature.
All creatures get -3/-3 until end of turn.

Library of Alexandria

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Draw a card. Activate only if you have exactly seven cards in hand.