Whenever a creature deals damage to a player, that player may say "Ow" once for each permanent named Ow. If the player doesn't, Ow deals 1 damage to them.

Land Aid '04

Search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. If you sang a song the whole time you were searching and shuffling, you may untap that land.

Face to Face

You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that player.

Eye to Eye

You and target creature's controller have a staring contest. If you win, destroy that creature.

Who // What // When // Where // Why

Chivalrous Chevalier

Flying
When Chivalrous Chevalier enters, return a creature you control to its owner's hand unless you compliment an opponent.

Squirrel Dealer

When Squirrel Dealer enters, ask a person outside the game "Do you like Squirrels?" If they do, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Mouth to Mouth

Choose target opponent and target creature they control. You and that player have a breath-holding contest. If you win, you gain control of that creature.

Goblin S.W.A.T. Team

Say "Goblin S.W.A.T. Team": Put a +1/+1 counter on Goblin S.W.A.T. Team unless an opponent swats the table within five seconds. Activate only once each turn.

Magic Word

Enchant creature
As Magic Word enters, choose a word.
Whisper the chosen word: Tap enchanted creature.

Head to Head

You and target opponent play Seven Questions with the top card of that player's library. If you win, prevent all damage that would be dealt this turn by a source of your choice. (To play Seven Questions, that player looks at the card, then you ask up to six yes-or-no questions about the card that they answer truthfully. You guess the card's name—that's question seven—then the player reveals the card.)