Just Desserts

Just Desserts deals π damage to target creature. (π is the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. (It's a smidgen more than 3.))

Rakdos Guildgate

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Swamp

Rush of Vitality

Target creature gets +1/+0 and gains lifelink and indestructible until end of turn. (Damage dealt by that creature also causes its controller to gain that much life, and it can't be destroyed by damage or effects that say "destroy.")

Evolving Wilds

{T}, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Blighted Fen

{T}: Add {C}.
{4}{B}, {T}, Sacrifice Blighted Fen: Target opponent sacrifices a creature of their choice.

Exotic Orchard

{T}: Add one mana of any color that a land an opponent controls could produce.

Jund Panorama

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice Jund Panorama: Search your library for a basic Swamp, Mountain, or Forest card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Jaya Ballard, Task Mage

{R}, {T}, Discard a card: Destroy target blue permanent.
{1}{R}, {T}, Discard a card: Jaya Ballard, Task Mage deals 3 damage to any target. A creature dealt damage this way can't be regenerated this turn.
{5}{R}{R}, {T}, Discard a card: Jaya Ballard deals 6 damage to each creature and each player.

Baleful Ammit

Lifelink
When Baleful Ammit enters, put a -1/-1 counter on target creature you control.

Zulaport Enforcer

Level up {4} ({4}: Put a level counter on this. Level up only as a sorcery.)
LEVEL 1-2
3/3
LEVEL 3+
5/5
Zulaport Enforcer can't be blocked except by black creatures.

Blessing of Leeches

Flash
Enchant creature
At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 1 life.
{0}: Regenerate enchanted creature.

Without Weakness

Target creature you control gains indestructible until end of turn. (Damage and effects that say "destroy" don't destroy it. If its toughness is 0 or less, it's still put into its owner's graveyard.)
Cycling {2} ({2}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

My First Tome

{1}, {T}: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and they guessed wrong, you draw a card.

Tamiyo's Journal

At the beginning of your upkeep, investigate. (Create a Clue token. It's an artifact with "{2}, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.")
{T}, Sacrifice three Clues: Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle.

Bloodfell Caves

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, you gain 1 life.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Nirkana Cutthroat

Level up {2}{B} ({2}{B}: Put a level counter on this. Level up only as a sorcery.)
LEVEL 1-2
4/3
Deathtouch
LEVEL 3+
5/4
First strike, deathtouch

Phyrexian Totem

{T}: Add {B}.
{2}{B}: Phyrexian Totem becomes a 5/5 black Phyrexian Horror artifact creature with trample until end of turn.
Whenever Phyrexian Totem is dealt damage, if it's a creature, sacrifice that many permanents.

Elixir of Immortality

{2}, {T}: You gain 5 life. Shuffle Elixir of Immortality and your graveyard into their owner's library.

Sever the Bloodline

Exile target creature and all other creatures with the same name as that creature.
Flashback {5}{B}{B} (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

Fated Return

Put target creature card from a graveyard onto the battlefield under your control. It gains indestructible. If it's your turn, scry 2.

Greed

Terramorphic Expanse

{T}, Sacrifice Terramorphic Expanse: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Dust Stalker

Devoid (This card has no color.)
Haste
At the beginning of each end step, if you control no other colorless creatures, return Dust Stalker to its owner's hand.

Tresserhorn Sinks

Tresserhorn Sinks enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Lava Zombie

When Lava Zombie enters, return a black or red creature you control to its owner's hand.
{2}: Lava Zombie gets +1/+0 until end of turn.

Grusilda, Monster Masher

Combined, enchanted, and equipped creatures you control have menace.
{3}{B}{R}, {T}: Put two target creature cards from graveyards onto the battlefield combined into one creature under your control. (Its power is equal to their total power, its toughness is equal to their total toughness, and it has their names, mana costs, types, text boxes, etc.)

Vivid Crag

Vivid Crag enters tapped with two charge counters on it.
{T}: Add {R}.
{T}, Remove a charge counter from Vivid Crag: Add one mana of any color.

Werewolf Ransacker

Whenever this creature transforms into Werewolf Ransacker, you may destroy target artifact. If that artifact is put into a graveyard this way, Werewolf Ransacker deals 3 damage to that artifact's controller.
At the beginning of each upkeep, if a player cast two or more spells last turn, transform Werewolf Ransacker.

Afflicted Deserter

At the beginning of each upkeep, if no spells were cast last turn, transform Afflicted Deserter.

Afflicted Deserter // Werewolf Ransacker

Wild-Field Scarecrow

Defender
{2}, Sacrifice Wild-Field Scarecrow: Search your library for up to two basic land cards, reveal them, put them into your hand, then shuffle.

Wail of the Nim

Choose one —
• Regenerate each creature you control.
• Wail of the Nim deals 1 damage to each creature and each player.
Entwine {B} (Choose both if you pay the entwine cost.)

Mountain

Bronze Calendar

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice Bronze Calendar.

Granulate

Destroy each nonland artifact with mana value 4 or less.

Over My Dead Bodies

Creature cards in graveyards can attack and block as though they were on the battlefield, can block or be blocked only by creature cards in graveyards, are Zombies in addition to their other types, and have undeathtouch. (If they would deal damage to a creature card, exile that creature card instead.)
Creature cards in your graveyard have haste.

Baron Von Count

Baron Von Count enters with a doom counter on "5."
Whenever you cast a spell with the indicated numeral in its mana cost, text box, power, or toughness, move the doom counter one numeral to the left.
When the doom counter moves from "1," destroy target player and put that doom counter on "5."

Mask of Avacyn

Equipped creature gets +1/+2 and has hexproof. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control.)
Equip {3}

Swiftfoot Boots

Equipped creature has hexproof and haste. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control. It can attack and {T} no matter when it came under your control.)
Equip {1} ({1}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Necro-Impotence

Skip your untap step.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay X life. If you do, untap X permanents.
Pay ½ life: Exile the top card of your library face down. Put that card into your hand at the beginning of the next end step.

Reckless Spite

Destroy two target nonblack creatures. You lose 5 life.

capital offense

target creature gets -x/-x until end of turn, where x is the number of times a capital letter appears in its rules text. (ignore reminder text and flavor text.)

Codex Shredder

{T}: Target player mills a card. (They put the top card of their library into their graveyard.)
{5}, {T}, Sacrifice Codex Shredder: Return target card from your graveyard to your hand.

Auger Spree

Target creature gets +4/-4 until end of turn.

Urza's Science Fair Project

{2}: Roll a six-sided die. Urza's Science Fair Project gets the indicated result.
1 — It gets -2/-2 until end of turn.
2 — Prevent all combat damage it would deal this turn.
3 — It gains vigilance until end of turn.
4 — It gains first strike until end of turn.
5 — It gains flying until end of turn.
6 — It gets +2/+2 until end of turn.

Inhumaniac

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or 4, put a +1/+1 counter on Inhumaniac. On a 5 or higher, put two +1/+1 counters on it. On a 1, remove all +1/+1 counters from Inhumaniac.

Rising Miasma

All creatures get -2/-2 until end of turn.
Awaken 3—{5}{B}{B} (If you cast this spell for {5}{B}{B}, also put three +1/+1 counters on target land you control and it becomes a 0/0 Elemental creature with haste. It's still a land.)

Heart-Piercer Manticore

When Heart-Piercer Manticore enters, you may sacrifice another creature. When you do, Heart-Piercer Manticore deals damage equal to that creature's power to any target.
Embalm {5}{R} ({5}{R}, Exile this card from your graveyard: Create a token that's a copy of it, except it's a white Zombie Manticore with no mana cost. Embalm only as a sorcery.)

Exuberant Firestoker

At the beginning of your end step, if you control a creature with power 5 or greater, you may have Exuberant Firestoker deal 2 damage to target player or planeswalker.
{T}: Add {C}.

Super-Duper Death Ray

Trample (This spell can deal excess damage to its target's controller.)
Super-Duper Death Ray deals 4 damage to target creature.

Cinder Barrens

Cinder Barrens enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Grixis Panorama

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice Grixis Panorama: Search your library for a basic Island, Swamp, or Mountain card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Archfiend of Ifnir

Flying
Whenever you cycle or discard another card, put a -1/-1 counter on each creature your opponents control.
Cycling {2} ({2}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Jalum Grifter

{1}{R}, {T}: Shuffle Jalum Grifter and two lands you control face down. Target opponent chooses one of those cards. Turn the cards face up. If they chose Jalum Grifter, sacrifice it. Otherwise, destroy target permanent.

Ashes to Ashes

Exile two target nonartifact creatures. Ashes to Ashes deals 5 damage to you.

Vivid Marsh

Vivid Marsh enters tapped with two charge counters on it.
{T}: Add {B}.
{T}, Remove a charge counter from Vivid Marsh: Add one mana of any color.

Bumbling Pangolin

When this creature enters, you may destroy target artifact.

Sauté

The Big Idea

{2}{B/R}{B/R}, {T}: Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Brainiac creature tokens equal to the result.
Tap three untapped Brainiacs you control: The next time you would roll a six-sided die, instead roll two six-sided dice and use the total of those results.

Ember Swallower

{5}{R}{R}: Monstrosity 3. (If this creature isn't monstrous, put three +1/+1 counters on it and it becomes monstrous.)
When Ember Swallower becomes monstrous, each player sacrifices three lands of their choice.

Pharagax Giant

Tribute 2 (As this creature enters, an opponent of your choice may put two +1/+1 counters on it.)
When Pharagax Giant enters, if tribute wasn't paid, Pharagax Giant deals 5 damage to each opponent.

Pygmy Giant

{R}, {T}, Sacrifice a creature: Pygmy Giant deals X damage to target creature, where X is a number in the sacrificed creature's text box.

Mana Screw

{1}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add {C}{C}. Activate only as an instant.

Ruinous Path

Destroy target creature or planeswalker.
Awaken 4—{5}{B}{B} (If you cast this spell for {5}{B}{B}, also put four +1/+1 counters on target land you control and it becomes a 0/0 Elemental creature with haste. It's still a land.)

Plague Belcher

Menace
When Plague Belcher enters, put two -1/-1 counters on target creature you control.
Whenever another Zombie you control dies, each opponent loses 1 life.

Blighted Gorge

{T}: Add {C}.
{4}{R}, {T}, Sacrifice Blighted Gorge: It deals 2 damage to any target.

Void

Choose a number. Destroy all artifacts and creatures with mana value equal to that number. Then target player reveals their hand and discards all nonland cards with mana value equal to the number.

Rakdos Carnarium

Rakdos Carnarium enters tapped.
When Rakdos Carnarium enters, return a land you control to its owner's hand.
{T}: Add {B}{R}.

Boltwing Marauder

Flying
Whenever another creature you control enters, target creature gets +2/+0 until end of turn.

Handy Dandy Clone Machine

{2}, {T}: Create a 2/2 colorless Homunculus creature token. It must be represented by a unique hand and two fingers at all times, or it ceases to exist.

Temple of Aclazotz

(Transforms from Arguel's Blood Fast.)
{T}: Add {B}.
{T}, Sacrifice a creature: You gain life equal to the sacrificed creature's toughness.

Arguel's Blood Fast

{1}{B}, Pay 2 life: Draw a card.
At the beginning of your upkeep, if you have 5 or less life, you may transform Arguel's Blood Fast.

Arguel's Blood Fast // Temple of Aclazotz

Urborg Volcano

Urborg Volcano enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Split Screen

When Split Screen enters, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it.
Play with your libraries' top cards revealed.
When Split Screen leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.

Conduit of Emrakul

Whenever Conduit of Emrakul attacks, add {C}{C} at the beginning of your next main phase this turn.

Conduit of Storms

Whenever Conduit of Storms attacks, add {R} at the beginning of your next main phase this turn.
{3}{R}{R}: Transform Conduit of Storms.

Conduit of Storms // Conduit of Emrakul

Wildfire Cerberus

{5}{R}{R}: Monstrosity 1. (If this creature isn't monstrous, put a +1/+1 counter on it and it becomes monstrous.)
When Wildfire Cerberus becomes monstrous, it deals 2 damage to each opponent and each creature they control.

Ricochet

Whenever a player casts a spell that targets a single player, each player rolls a six-sided die. Change the target of that spell to the player with the lowest result. Reroll to break ties, if necessary.

Mizzium Mortars

Mizzium Mortars deals 4 damage to target creature you don't control.
Overload {3}{R}{R}{R} (You may cast this spell for its overload cost. If you do, change "target" in its text to "each.")

Kolaghan, the Storm's Fury

Flying
Whenever a Dragon you control attacks, creatures you control get +1/+0 until end of turn.
Dash {3}{B}{R} (You may cast this spell for its dash cost. If you do, it gains haste, and it's returned from the battlefield to its owner's hand at the beginning of the next end step.)

Akoum Refuge

Akoum Refuge enters tapped.
When Akoum Refuge enters, you gain 1 life.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Skull Saucer

Flying
When Skull Saucer enters, destroy target creature and put your head on the table. Sacrifice Skull Saucer when your head stops touching the table.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.
{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.