Guff Rewrites History

For each player, choose target nonenchantment, nonland permanent that player controls. Those permanents' owners shuffle them into their libraries. Each player who controlled one of those permanents exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card, then puts the rest on the bottom of their library in a random order. Each player may cast the nonland card they exiled without paying its mana cost.

Wild Magic Surge

Destroy target permanent an opponent controls. Its controller reveals cards from the top of their library until they reveal a permanent card that shares a card type with that permanent. They put that card onto the battlefield and the rest on the bottom of their library in a random order.

Argentum Armor

Equipped creature gets +6/+6.
Whenever equipped creature attacks, destroy target permanent.
Equip {6}

Bolt Bend

This spell costs {3} less to cast if you control a creature with power 4 or greater.
Change the target of target spell or ability with a single target.

Grappling Hook

Equipped creature has double strike.
Whenever equipped creature attacks, you may have target creature block it this turn if able.
Equip {4}

Sol Ring

Reverberate

Copy target instant or sorcery spell. You may choose new targets for the copy.

Khârn the Betrayer

Berzerker — Khârn the Betrayer attacks or blocks each combat if able.
Sigil of Corruption — When you lose control of Khârn the Betrayer, draw two cards.
The Betrayer — If damage would be dealt to Khârn the Betrayer, prevent that damage and an opponent of your choice gains control of it.

Solemn Simulacrum

When Solemn Simulacrum enters the battlefield, you may search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.
When Solemn Simulacrum dies, you may draw a card.

Pyroblast

Choose one —
• Counter target spell if it's blue.
• Destroy target permanent if it's blue.

Shiny Impetus

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and is goaded. (It attacks each combat if able and attacks a player other than you if able.)
Whenever enchanted creature attacks, you create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")

Faithless Looting

Draw two cards, then discard two cards.
Flashback {2}{R} (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

Mountain

Spectacular Showdown

Put a double strike counter on target creature, then goad each creature that had a double strike counter put on it this way. (Until your next turn, those creatures attack each combat if able and attack a player other than you if able.)
Overload {4}{R}{R}{R} (You may cast this spell for its overload cost. If you do, change "target" in its text to "each.")

Tectonic Rift

Destroy target land. Creatures without flying can't block this turn.

Stuffy Doll

Indestructible
As Stuffy Doll enters the battlefield, choose a player.
Whenever Stuffy Doll is dealt damage, it deals that much damage to the chosen player.
{T}: Stuffy Doll deals 1 damage to itself.

Sword of Vengeance

Equipped creature gets +2/+0 and has first strike, vigilance, trample, and haste.
Equip {3}

Chandra's Ignition

Target creature you control deals damage equal to its power to each other creature and each opponent.

Kher Keep

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}{R}, {T}: Create a 0/1 red Kobold creature token named Kobolds of Kher Keep.

Fling

As an additional cost to cast this spell, sacrifice a creature.
Fling deals damage equal to the sacrificed creature's power to any target.

Robber of the Rich

Reach, haste
Whenever Robber of the Rich attacks, if defending player has more cards in hand than you, exile the top card of their library. During any turn you attacked with a Rogue, you may cast that card and you may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast that spell.

Blasphemous Act

This spell costs {1} less to cast for each creature on the battlefield.
Blasphemous Act deals 13 damage to each creature.

Commander's Sphere

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.
Sacrifice Commander's Sphere: Draw a card.

Shake the Foundations

Shake the Foundations deals 1 damage to each creature without flying.
Draw a card.

Hijack

Gain control of target artifact or creature until end of turn. Untap it. It gains haste until end of turn.

Godo, Bandit Warlord

When Godo, Bandit Warlord enters the battlefield, you may search your library for an Equipment card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.
Whenever Godo attacks for the first time each turn, untap it and all Samurai you control. After this phase, there is an additional combat phase.

Hammer of Nazahn

Whenever Hammer of Nazahn or another Equipment enters the battlefield under your control, you may attach that Equipment to target creature you control.
Equipped creature gets +2/+0 and has indestructible.
Equip {4}

Mark of Mutiny

Gain control of target creature until end of turn. Put a +1/+1 counter on it and untap it. That creature gains haste until end of turn. (It can attack and {T} this turn.)

Molten Disaster

Kicker {R} (You may pay an additional {R} as you cast this spell.)
If this spell was kicked, it has split second. (As long as this spell is on the stack, players can't cast spells or activate abilities that aren't mana abilities.)
Molten Disaster deals X damage to each creature without flying and each player.

Cosmotronic Wave

Cosmotronic Wave deals 1 damage to each creature your opponents control. Creatures your opponents control can't block this turn.

Chandra, Acolyte of Flame

0: Put a loyalty counter on each red planeswalker you control.
0: Create two 1/1 red Elemental creature tokens. They gain haste. Sacrifice them at the beginning of the next end step.
−2: You may cast target instant or sorcery card with mana value 3 or less from your graveyard. If that spell would be put into your graveyard, exile it instead.

Bloodthirsty Blade

Equipped creature gets +2/+0 and is goaded. (It attacks each combat if able and attacks a player other than you if able.)
{1}: Attach Bloodthirsty Blade to target creature an opponent controls. Activate only as a sorcery.

Umezawa's Jitte

Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage, put two charge counters on Umezawa's Jitte.
Remove a charge counter from Umezawa's Jitte: Choose one —
• Equipped creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn.
• Target creature gets -1/-1 until end of turn.
• You gain 2 life.
Equip {2}

Assault Suit

Equipped creature gets +2/+2, has haste, can't attack you or planeswalkers you control, and can't be sacrificed.
At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, you may have that player gain control of equipped creature until end of turn. If you do, untap it.
Equip {3}

Cast into the Fire

Choose one —
• Cast into the Fire deals 1 damage to each of up to two target creatures.
• Exile target artifact.

Forerunner of the Empire

When Forerunner of the Empire enters the battlefield, you may search your library for a Dinosaur card, reveal it, then shuffle and put that card on top.
Whenever a Dinosaur enters the battlefield under your control, you may have Forerunner of the Empire deal 1 damage to each creature.

Endbringer

Untap Endbringer during each other player's untap step.
{T}: Endbringer deals 1 damage to any target.
{C}, {T}: Target creature can't attack or block this turn.
{C}{C}, {T}: Draw a card.

Detection Tower

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}: Until end of turn, your opponents and creatures your opponents control with hexproof can be the targets of spells and abilities you control as though they didn't have hexproof.

Fiery Cannonade

Fiery Cannonade deals 2 damage to each non-Pirate creature.

Dire Fleet Daredevil

First strike
When Dire Fleet Daredevil enters the battlefield, exile target instant or sorcery card from an opponent's graveyard. You may cast it this turn, and mana of any type can be spent to cast that spell. If that spell would be put into a graveyard, exile it instead.

Silent Arbiter

No more than one creature can attack each combat.
No more than one creature can block each combat.

Sting, the Glinting Dagger

Equipped creature gets +1/+1 and has haste.
At the beginning of each combat, untap equipped creature.
Equipped creature has first strike as long as it's blocking or blocked by a Goblin or Orc.
Equip {2}

Anger of the Gods

Anger of the Gods deals 3 damage to each creature. If a creature dealt damage this way would die this turn, exile it instead.

Blade of Selves

Equipped creature has myriad. (Whenever it attacks, for each opponent other than defending player, you may create a token copy that's tapped and attacking that player or a planeswalker they control. Exile the tokens at end of combat.)
Equip {4}

Homeward Path

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Each player gains control of all creatures they own.

Vow of Lightning

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2, has first strike, and can't attack you or planeswalkers you control.

Key to the City

{T}, Discard a card: Up to one target creature can't be blocked this turn.
Whenever Key to the City becomes untapped, you may pay {2}. If you do, draw a card.

Blood Moon

Goblin Snowman

Whenever Goblin Snowman blocks, prevent all combat damage that would be dealt to and dealt by it this turn.
{T}: Goblin Snowman deals 1 damage to target creature it's blocking.

Scythe of the Wretched

Equipped creature gets +2/+2.
Whenever a creature dealt damage by equipped creature this turn dies, return that card to the battlefield under your control. Attach Scythe of the Wretched to that creature.
Equip {4}

Brass Squire

{T}: Attach target Equipment you control to target creature you control.

Pariah's Shield

All damage that would be dealt to you is dealt to equipped creature instead.
Equip {3}

Emergence Zone

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice Emergence Zone: You may cast spells this turn as though they had flash.

Frenzied Rage

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+1 and has menace. (It can't be blocked except by two or more creatures.)

Chandra, Fire Artisan

Whenever one or more loyalty counters are removed from Chandra, Fire Artisan, she deals that much damage to target opponent or planeswalker.
+1: Exile the top card of your library. You may play it this turn.
−7: Exile the top seven cards of your library. You may play them this turn.

Swiftfoot Boots

Equipped creature has hexproof and haste. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control.)
Equip {1}

Helm of the Host

At the beginning of combat on your turn, create a token that's a copy of equipped creature, except the token isn't legendary. That token gains haste.
Equip {5}

Infiltration Lens

Whenever equipped creature becomes blocked by a creature, you may draw two cards.
Equip {1}

Prodigal Pyromancer

{T}: Prodigal Pyromancer deals 1 damage to any target.

Mizzium Mortars

Mizzium Mortars deals 4 damage to target creature you don't control.
Overload {3}{R}{R}{R} (You may cast this spell for its overload cost. If you do, change "target" in its text to "each.")

Buried Ruin

{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}, Sacrifice Buried Ruin: Return target artifact card from your graveyard to your hand.

Temple of the False God

{T}: Add {C}{C}. Activate only if you control five or more lands.

Gold-Forge Garrison

(Transforms from Golden Guardian.)
{T}: Add two mana of any one color.
{4}, {T}: Create a 4/4 colorless Golem artifact creature token.

Golden Guardian

Defender
{2}: Golden Guardian fights another target creature you control. When Golden Guardian dies this turn, return it to the battlefield transformed under your control.

Golden Guardian // Gold-Forge Garrison

Sword of the Animist

Equipped creature gets +1/+1.
Whenever equipped creature attacks, you may search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.
Equip {2}

Deflecting Swat

If you control a commander, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost.
You may choose new targets for target spell or ability.

Staff of Titania

Equipped creature gets +X/+X, where X is the number of Forests you control.
Whenever equipped creature attacks, create a 1/1 green Forest Dryad land creature token. (It's affected by summoning sickness.)
Equip {3}

Brash Taunter

Indestructible
Whenever Brash Taunter is dealt damage, it deals that much damage to target opponent.
{2}{R}, {T}: Brash Taunter fights another target creature.

Etali, Primal Storm

Whenever Etali, Primal Storm attacks, exile the top card of each player's library, then you may cast any number of spells from among those cards without paying their mana costs.

Vandalblast

Destroy target artifact you don't control.
Overload {4}{R} (You may cast this spell for its overload cost. If you do, change "target" in its text to "each.")

Reliquary Tower

You have no maximum hand size.
{T}: Add {C}.

Hazoret's Monument

Red creature spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
Whenever you cast a creature spell, you may discard a card. If you do, draw a card.

Bloodforged Battle-Axe

Equipped creature gets +2/+0.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create a token that's a copy of Bloodforged Battle-Axe.
Equip {2}

Myriad Landscape

Myriad Landscape enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}, Sacrifice Myriad Landscape: Search your library for up to two basic land cards that share a land type, put them onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Chaos Warp

The owner of target permanent shuffles it into their library, then reveals the top card of their library. If it's a permanent card, they put it onto the battlefield.