Bedlam

Rhino-

Whenever this creature blocks,
Augment {3}{W} ({3}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Time Out

Roll a six-sided die. Put target nonland permanent into its owner's library just beneath the top X cards of that library, where X is the result.

First Pick

Destroy target artifact or enchantment. Assemble a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Skeletal Vampire

Flying
When Skeletal Vampire enters, create two 1/1 black Bat creature tokens with flying.
{3}{B}{B}, Sacrifice a Bat: Create two 1/1 black Bat creature tokens with flying.
Sacrifice a Bat: Regenerate Skeletal Vampire.

Refibrillator

Whenever you crank Refibrillator, return target creature card from your graveyard to your hand.

Evolving Wilds

{T}, Sacrifice Evolving Wilds: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

capital offense

target creature gets -x/-x until end of turn, where x is the number of times a capital letter appears in its rules text. (ignore reminder text and flavor text.)

Shellephant

{0}: Choose one. You may activate this ability while Shellephant is in any zone.
• Shellephant has base power and toughness 1/4.
• Shellephant has base power and toughness 3/3.

Half-Orc, Half-

Trample
At the beginning of each end step, if an opponent was dealt damage this turn,
Augment {1}{R}{R} ({1}{R}{R}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Eager Beaver

When this creature enters, you may untap target permanent.

Nine Lives

Hexproof
If a source would deal damage to you, prevent that damage and put an incarnation counter on Nine Lives.
When there are nine or more incarnation counters on Nine Lives, exile it.
When Nine Lives leaves the battlefield, you lose the game.

Last One Standing

Choose a creature at random, then destroy the rest.

Invoke the Divine

Destroy target artifact or enchantment. You gain 4 life.

Painiac

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. Painiac gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the result.

Inflation Station

Whenever you crank Inflation Station, target creature gets +3/+3 until end of turn.

Sacred Fire

Sacred Fire deals 2 damage to any target and you gain 2 life.
Flashback {4}{R}{W} (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

Lackey Recycler

Whenever you crank Lackey Recycler, put target creature card from your graveyard on top of your library.

Proper Laboratory Attire

Equipped creature gets +2/+1 and has protection from die rolls. (Nothing that lets a player roll a die can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to equipped creature.)
Equip {2}

Steamflogger Service Rep

Whenever another Goblin you control enters, you may pay {1}. If you do, Steamflogger Service Rep assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Hammer Helper

Gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature and roll a six-sided die. Until end of turn, it gains haste and gets +X/+0, where X is the result.

Side Quest

Target player in an Un-game you can see from your seat gains control of target creature you control until your next turn. At the beginning of your next upkeep, put two +1/+1 counters on that creature. (A creature is on the battlefield of only the game its controller is playing.)

GO TO JAIL

When GO TO JAIL enters, exile target creature an opponent controls until GO TO JAIL leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of the upkeep of the exiled card's owner, that player rolls two six-sided dice. If they roll doubles, sacrifice GO TO JAIL.

Sword of Dungeons & Dragons

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from Rogues and from Clerics.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create a 4/4 gold Dragon creature token with flying and roll a d20 (a twenty-sided die). If you roll a 20, repeat this process.
Equip {2}

Hyena Umbra

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 and has first strike.
Umbra armor (If enchanted creature would be destroyed, instead remove all damage from it and destroy this Aura.)

Steady-Handed Mook

Deathtouch
When Steady-Handed Mook enters, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Pet Project

Whenever you crank Pet Project, put target creature card from an opponent's graveyard onto the battlefield under your control.

Shaggy Camel

When this creature enters, creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn.

Incite Insight

Assemble X Contraptions. (To assemble a Contraption, put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Old Guard

{W}, {T}: Tap target creature without reminder text. (Reminder text is still any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Just Desserts

Just Desserts deals π damage to target creature. (π is the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. (It's a smidgen more than 3.))

Half-Squirrel, Half-

Whenever a nontoken creature enters,
Augment {G} ({G}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

False Prophet

When False Prophet dies, exile all creatures.

Super-Duper Death Ray

Trample (This spell can deal excess damage to its target's controller.)
Super-Duper Death Ray deals 4 damage to target creature.

Extremely Slow Zombie

Last strike (This creature deals combat damage after creatures without last strike.)

Buzz Buggy

Whenever you crank Buzz Buggy, target creature gets +2/+0 and gains trample until end of turn.

Angelic Rocket

Flying
When this creature enters, you may destroy target nonland permanent.

Magic Word

Enchant creature
As Magic Word enters, choose a word.
Whisper the chosen word: Tap enchanted creature.

Garbage Elemental

Last strike (This creature deals combat damage after creatures without last strike.)
Battalion — Whenever Garbage Elemental and at least two other creatures attack, target creature can't block this turn.

Chitterspitter

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may sacrifice a token. If you do, put an acorn counter on Chitterspitter.
Squirrels you control get +1/+1 for each acorn counter on Chitterspitter.
{G}, {T}: Create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Dual Doomsuits

Whenever you crank Dual Doomsuits, each time a source you control would deal damage this turn, it deals double that damage instead.

Curious Killbot

Beast in Show

Nin, the Pain Artist

{X}{U}{R}, {T}: Nin, the Pain Artist deals X damage to target creature. That creature's controller draws X cards.

Division Table

Whenever you crank Division Table, target player loses 2 life.

Auto-Key

Whenever you crank Auto-Key, until end of turn, target creature becomes an artifact in addition to its other types and gains "{T}: You gain 3 life."

Hungry for More

Create a 3/1 black and red Vampire creature token with trample, lifelink, and haste. Sacrifice it at the beginning of the next end step.
Flashback {1}{B}{R} (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

Willing Test Subject

Reach
Whenever you roll a 4 or higher on a die, put a +1/+1 counter on Willing Test Subject.
{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

Hot Fix

You have ten seconds to look at and rearrange the cards in your library. At the end of those ten seconds, if you're touching one or more of those cards, shuffle.

Modular Monstrosity

Whenever an opponent casts a spell, you have five seconds to choose a keyword you haven't chosen for a card named Modular Monstrosity today that's been printed on a creature card. If you do, Modular Monstrosity gains that ability. Otherwise, Modular Monstrosity loses all keyword abilities.

Midlife Upgrade

As an additional cost to cast this spell, sacrifice X Contraptions.
Assemble X plus one Contraptions. (To assemble a Contraption, put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Stuffy Doll

Indestructible
As Stuffy Doll enters, choose a player.
Whenever Stuffy Doll is dealt damage, it deals that much damage to the chosen player.
{T}: Stuffy Doll deals 1 damage to itself.

Gelatinous Cube

Engulf — When Gelatinous Cube enters, exile target non-Ooze creature an opponent controls until Gelatinous Cube leaves the battlefield.
Dissolve — {X}{B}: Put target creature card with mana value X exiled with Gelatinous Cube into its owner's graveyard.

Head Banger

Whenever you crank Head Banger, target creature must be blocked this turn if able.

Meteorite

When Meteorite enters, it deals 2 damage to any target.
{T}: Add one mana of any color.

Adorable Kitten

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. You gain life equal to the result.

By Force

Split Screen

When Split Screen enters, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it.
Play with your libraries' top cards revealed.
When Split Screen leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.

Wrong Turn

Target opponent gains control of target creature. (If an attacking or blocking creature changes controllers, it's removed from combat.)

Animate Library

Enchant your library
Enchanted library is an artifact creature on the battlefield with power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It's still a library.
If enchanted library would leave the battlefield, exile Animate Library instead.

Knight of the Kitchen Sink

First strike, protection from watermarks (Nothing with a watermark can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Success!

Target creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn. If it's a host or has augment, it gains lifelink until end of turn.

Steamfloggery

Roll a six-sided die. Assemble a number of Contraptions equal to the result. (To assemble a Contraption, put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Hull Breach

Choose one —
• Destroy target artifact.
• Destroy target enchantment.
• Destroy target artifact and target enchantment.

Panglacial Wurm

Trample
While you're searching your library, you may cast Panglacial Wurm from your library.

Watermarket

{T}: Add {C}{C}. Spend this mana only to cast spells with watermarks.

Blurry Beeble

Blurry (This creature can be blocked only if defending player was wearing glasses as it was cast.)
Whenever Blurry Beeble deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card. If you do, discard a card.

Riveting Rigger

When Riveting Rigger enters, you may sacrifice another artifact. If you do, put two +1/+1 counters on Riveting Rigger and it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Serpentine

Landfall — Whenever a land you control enters,
Augment {2}{G} ({2}{G}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Ol' Buzzbark

When Ol' Buzzbark enters, roll X six-sided dice onto the battlefield from a height of at least X inches. For each die, put a number of +1/+1 counters equal to the result on each creature you control that die is touching. For each die, Ol' Buzzbark deals damage equal to the result to each creature an opponent controls that die is touching.

Ambassador Laquatus

Hazmat Suit (Used)

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+1 and has menace.
Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches enchanted creature, that player loses 2 life.

Voracious Vacuum

When this creature enters, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.

Krark's Other Thumb

If you would roll a die, instead roll two of those dice and ignore one of those results.

Common Iguana

When this creature enters, you may discard a card. If you do, draw a card.

Pongify

Destroy target creature. It can't be regenerated. Its controller creates a 3/3 green Ape creature token.

Enraged Killbot

Nessian Boar

All creatures able to block Nessian Boar do so.
Whenever Nessian Boar becomes blocked by a creature, that creature's controller draws a card.

Barroom Brawl

Target creature you control fights target creature the opponent to your left controls. Then that player may copy this spell and may choose new targets for the copy.

The Grand Calcutron

The Grand Calcutron can be your commander.
When The Grand Calcutron enters, each player's hand becomes a program (an ordered row of revealed cards).
Players can only play the first card of their program.
If a card would be put into a player's hand from anywhere, that player reveals it and places it anywhere within their program instead.
At the beginning of each player's end step, if that player's program has fewer than five cards, they draw cards equal to the difference.

Warp World

Each player shuffles all permanents they own into their library, then reveals that many cards from the top of their library. Each player puts all artifact, creature, and land cards revealed this way onto the battlefield, then does the same for enchantment cards, then puts all cards revealed this way that weren't put onto the battlefield on the bottom of their library.

Tavern Swindler

{T}, Pay 3 life: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, you gain 6 life.

Crafty Octopus

When this creature enters, this creature assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Clocknapper

When Clocknapper enters, choose beginning phase, first main phase, combat phase, postcombat main phase, or ending phase. Steal that phase from target player during their next turn. (That phase occurs as though it's your turn instead.)

Very Cryptic Command

Choose two —
• Scry 3.
• Create a 2/2 black Rogue creature token with menace.
• Add or subtract 1 or one from a number or number word on target spell or permanent until end of turn.
• Return all artifacts target player controls to their owner's hand.

Suspicious Nanny

Whenever Suspicious Nanny deals combat damage to a player, it reassembles target Contraption that player controls. (Gain control of it and move it onto one of your sprockets.)

Mindless Automaton

Mindless Automaton enters with two +1/+1 counters on it.
{1}, Discard a card: Put a +1/+1 counter on Mindless Automaton.
Remove two +1/+1 counters from Mindless Automaton: Draw a card.

Despondent Killbot

Impulsive Pilferer

When Impulsive Pilferer dies, create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")
Encore {3}{R} ({3}{R}, Exile this card from your graveyard: For each opponent, create a token copy that attacks that opponent this turn if able. They gain haste. Sacrifice them at the beginning of the next end step. Activate only as a sorcery.)

Ordinary Pony

When this creature enters, you may exile target non-Horse creature you control that wasn't put onto the battlefield with this ability this turn, then return it to the battlefield under its owner's control.

Novellamental

Flying
Novellamental can block only creatures with flying.

Hammer Jammer

As Hammer Jammer enters, roll a six-sided die. Hammer Jammer enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.
Whenever you roll a die, remove all +1/+1 counters from Hammer Jammer, then put a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.

Steel Squirrel

Whenever you roll a 5 or higher on a die, Steel Squirrel gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.
{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

Widget Contraption

Whenever you crank Widget Contraption, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

S.N.E.A.K. Dispatcher

{2}{U}, {T}: Look at the top card of target player's library. If it has an Agents of S.N.E.A.K. watermark, you may reveal it and put it into your hand. Otherwise, put it on the top or bottom of its owner's library.

Contraband Livestock

Exile target creature, then roll a d20.
1—9 | Its controller creates a 4/4 green Ox creature token.
10—19 | Its controller creates a 2/2 green Boar creature token.
20 | Its controller creates a 0/1 white Goat creature token.

Steamflogger Boss

Other Riggers you control get +1/+0 and have haste.
If a Rigger you control would assemble a Contraption, it assembles two Contraptions instead.

Amateur Auteur

Sacrifice Amateur Auteur: Destroy target enchantment.

As Luck Would Have It

Hexproof
Whenever you roll a die, put a number of luck counters on As Luck Would Have It equal to the result. Then if there are 100 or more luck counters on As Luck Would Have It, you win the game. (Count both rolls if you reroll a die.)

Ravenous Squirrel

Whenever you sacrifice an artifact or creature, put a +1/+1 counter on Ravenous Squirrel.
{1}{B}{G}, Sacrifice an artifact or creature: You gain 1 life and draw a card.

Assault Suit

Equipped creature gets +2/+2, has haste, can't attack you or planeswalkers you control, and can't be sacrificed.
At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, you may have that player gain control of equipped creature until end of turn. If you do, untap it.
Equip {3}

Guest List

Whenever you crank Guest List, target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of creature cards in its controller's graveyard.

Swerve

Change the target of target spell with a single target.

Numbing Jellyfish

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. Target player mills X cards, where X is the result.