Steam Vents

({T}: Add {U} or {R}.)
As Steam Vents enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Burning Cinder Fury of Crimson Chaos Fire

Whenever any player taps a permanent, that player chooses one of their opponents. The chosen player gains control of that permanent at the beginning of the next end step.
At the beginning of each player's end step, if that player didn't tap any nonland permanents that turn, Burning Cinder Fury of Crimson Chaos Fire deals 3 damage to that player.

Togglodyte

Togglodyte enters turned on.
Whenever a player casts a spell, toggle Togglodyte's ON/OFF switch.
As long as Togglodyte is turned off, it can't attack or block, and prevent all damage it would deal.

Standard Procedure

{1}, Reveal Standard Procedure from your hand: Choose an instant or sorcery card with mana value 3 or less currently legal in the Standard format. Standard Procedure becomes that card until end of turn.

Well Done

Well Done deals 5 damage to target creature. If that creature is rare or mythic rare, Well Done deals 3 damage to that creature's controller.

Mer Man

When this creature enters, you may draw a card.

Infinity Elemental

Common Iguana

When this creature enters, you may discard a card. If you do, draw a card.

Double Take

Choose another player. You draw two cards. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, you draw two cards.

Clocknapper

When Clocknapper enters, choose beginning phase, first main phase, combat phase, postcombat main phase, or ending phase. Steal that phase from target player during their next turn. (That phase occurs as though it's your turn instead.)

Sulfur Falls

Sulfur Falls enters tapped unless you control an Island or a Mountain.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}.

Richard Garfield, Ph.D.

You may play cards as though they were other cards of your choice with the same mana cost. You can't choose the same card twice. (Mana cost includes color.)

City of Ass

City of Ass enters tapped.
{T}: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.

Decisions, Decisions

Reveal the top three cards of your library, then choose a consonant. (Y counts.) Put each card that has the chosen letter in the first word of its name from among them into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library in any order.

Fowl Play

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a Bird creature with base power and toughness 1/1.

Commander's Sphere

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.
Sacrifice Commander's Sphere: Draw a card.

Stormcarved Coast

Stormcarved Coast enters tapped unless you control two or more other lands.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}.

_____

{1}: This card's name becomes the card name of your choice. Activate anywhere, anytime.

Pie-roclasm

Pie-roclasm deals π damage to each non-Clown creature. (How to calculate π isn't important. It's a smidgen more than 3.)

Omniclown Colossus

Affinity for Clowns (This spell costs {1} less to cast for each Clown you control.)
Trample

Omniclown Colossus // Pie-roclasm

Arcane Signet

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Fluros of Myra's Marvels

As Fluros of Myra's Marvels enters, choose a number greater than 0.
Whenever you cast a spell with power, toughness, or loyalty equal to the chosen number, target artifact or creature becomes an artifact creature with base power and toughness X/X until end of turn, where X is the chosen number.
Partner

Goblin Cruciverbalist

Haste
When Goblin Cruciverbalist enters, create a colorless artifact token named your choice of A, E, I, O, or U.
Whenever Goblin Cruciverbalist attacks, using the first letters of the names of permanents you control, spell a word you haven't spelled this game. It gets +1/+0 until end of turn for each letter in that word.

Mana Screw

{1}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add {C}{C}. Activate only as an instant.

Artful Looter

{T}: Draw a card, then discard a card.
Whenever a permanent that shares an artist with another permanent you control enters, untap Artful Looter.

Trigger Happy

Choose a triggered ability of target permanent. It triggers. You control that ability.

Mind Stone

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice Mind Stone: Draw a card.

How Is This a Par Three?!

Whenever you cast a spell, you may have target player mill X cards, where X is the number of words in that spell's name.

Graveyard Busybody

All graveyards are also your graveyards.
Graveyard Busybody's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards with flavor text in your graveyards.

Treacherous Trapezist

Flying
Whenever you cast an alliterative spell, scry 2. (Anything with two or more capitalized words in its name that begin with the same letter is alliterative.)
Other alliterative creatures you control have flying.

Punctuate

Punctuate deals damage to target creature equal to half the number of punctuation marks in that creature's text box. (The punctuation marks are ! ? , ; : - — ( ) / " " ' ' & .)

Baaallerina

Flying
When Baaallerina enters, you may put a name sticker on a nonland permanent you own.
{2}{U}: Another target creature with a name sticker on it gains flying until end of turn.

Temple of Epiphany

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom.)
{T}: Add {U} or {R}.

Astroquarium

When Astroquarium enters, you may put an art sticker on it.
{1}, {T}: Until end of turn, target creature becomes a blue Shark with base power and toughness 4/4. If the cracks in Astroquarium's art are completely covered, that creature becomes a blue Octopus with base power and toughness 8/8 instead. Activate only as a sorcery.

Island

Urza's Fun House

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {∞}. Activate only once and only if you control an Urza's Mine, an Urza's Power-Plant, and an Urza's Tower.
{7}, {T}: Head to AskUrza.com and click Urza's Fun House.

Wandering Fumarole

Wandering Fumarole enters tapped.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}.
{2}{U}{R}: Until end of turn, Wandering Fumarole becomes a 1/4 blue and red Elemental creature with "{0}: Switch this creature's power and toughness until end of turn." It's still a land.

Frostboil Snarl

As Frostboil Snarl enters, you may reveal an Island or Mountain card from your hand. If you don't, Frostboil Snarl enters tapped.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}.

Flaccify

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {3}{½}.

Alexander Clamilton

Whenever you cast a wordy spell, scry 2. (A spell is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)
{1}{R}, {T}: Choose target creature you don't control. Reveal the top card of your library. Alexander Clamilton gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of lines of rules text of the revealed card. Alexander Clamilton fights that creature.

Lavaglide Pathway

Riverglide Pathway

Riverglide Pathway // Lavaglide Pathway

Shivan Reef

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}. Shivan Reef deals 1 damage to you.

Jalum Grifter

{1}{R}, {T}: Shuffle Jalum Grifter and two lands you control face down. Target opponent chooses one of those cards. Turn the cards face up. If they chose Jalum Grifter, sacrifice it. Otherwise, destroy target permanent.

Double Header

Flying
When Double Header enters, you may return target permanent with a two-word name to its owner's hand.

Rod of Spanking

{2}, {T}: Rod of Spanking deals 1 damage to target player. Then untap Rod of Spanking unless that player says "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"

Now I Know My ABC's

At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control permanents with names that include all twenty-six letters of the English alphabet, you win the game.

Eye of the Storm

Whenever a player casts an instant or sorcery card, exile it. Then that player copies each instant or sorcery card exiled with Eye of the Storm. For each copy, the player may cast the copy without paying its mana cost.

My First Tome

{1}, {T}: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and they guessed wrong, you draw a card.

Hive Mind

Whenever a player casts an instant or sorcery spell, each other player copies that spell. Each of those players may choose new targets for their copy.

Octo Opus

When Octo Opus enters, create a 4/4 blue Octopus Performer creature token named Contortionist with "At the beginning of your upkeep, you may fold this token in half." (It becomes 2/2, then 1/1, ½/½, and so on.)
Sacrifice Octo Opus: Draw a card and an additional card for each of Contortionist's folds.

Park Map

{1}, Sacrifice Park Map: Search your library for a land card that doesn't have the same art as a permanent you control, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Topsy Turvy

The phases of each player's turn are reversed. (The phases are, in reverse order, ending, second main, combat, first main, and beginning.)
As long as there are more than two players in the game, the turn order is reversed.

Bumbling Pangolin

When this creature enters, you may destroy target artifact.

Nearby Planet

Rangeling (This card is every land type, including Plains, Island, Swamp, Mountain, Forest, Desert, Gate, Lair, Locus, and all those Urza's ones.)
Nearby Planet enters tapped.
When Nearby Planet enters, sacrifice it unless you pay {1}.

Mox Lotus

{T}: Add {∞}.
{100}: Add one mana of any color.

Izzet Signet

Bag Check

Counter target spell, then ask a person outside the game if that spell looks dangerous to them. If they say yes, draw a card, then discard a card.

Blufferfish

{3}{U}: An opponent tells you a statement about themselves and secretly notes whether it's true or false. You guess which it is. If you guessed correctly, Blufferfish gets +2/+0 and can't be blocked this turn.

Chromatic Lantern

Lands you control have "{T}: Add one mana of any color."
{T}: Add one mana of any color.

Command Tower

Training Center

Training Center enters tapped unless you have two or more opponents.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}.

Exchange of Words

When Exchange of Words enters, choose two target creatures. For as long as Exchange of Words remains on the battlefield, exchange the text boxes of those creatures.

Spirebluff Canal

Spirebluff Canal enters tapped unless you control two or fewer other lands.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}.

Double Deal

Choose another player. Double Deal deals 3 damage to that player. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, Double Deal deals 3 damage to the player.

Cascade Bluffs

{T}: Add {C}.
{U/R}, {T}: Add {U}{U}, {U}{R}, or {R}{R}.

The Ultimate Nightmare of Wizards of the Coast® Customer Service

The Ultimate Nightmare of Wizards of the Coast® Customer Service deals X damage to each of Y target creatures and Z target players or planeswalkers.

Braid of Fire

Cumulative upkeep—Add {R}. (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on this permanent, then sacrifice it unless you pay its upkeep cost for each age counter on it.)

Don't Try This at Home

If a hot source you control would deal damage to a permanent or player, it deals that much damage plus 1 instead. (Something is hot if it has hot things in its art, like fire or explosions.)
{1}{R}, Sacrifice Don't Try This at Home: It deals damage equal to twice the number of hot cards in your graveyard to target creature or planeswalker.

Carnivorous Death-Parrot

Flying
At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice Carnivorous Death-Parrot unless you say its flavor text.

Frazzled Editor

Protection from wordy (Something is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)

Dumb Ass

At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, target opponent chooses whether Dumb Ass attacks this turn.

Clambassadors

Whenever Clambassadors deals damage to a player, choose an artifact, creature, or land you control. That player gains control of that permanent.

Swiftwater Cliffs

This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, you gain 1 life.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}.

Sol Ring

Busted!

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {X}, where X is the number of words in the name with the most words among permanents you control.

More or Less

Add or subtract 1 or one from a number or number word on target spell or permanent until end of turn.

Giant Fan

{2}, {T}: Move a counter from one permanent onto another. If the second permanent refers to any kind of counter, the moved counter becomes one of those counters. Otherwise, it becomes a +1/+1 counter.

Mountain

World-Bottling Kit

{5}, Sacrifice World-Bottling Kit: Choose a Magic set. Exile all permanents with that set's expansion symbol except for basic lands.

Question Elemental?

Did you know this creature has flying?
Are you aware that any time you say something that isn't a question, when a player points out this fact first, they gain control of Question Elemental?

Prismari Campus

Prismari Campus enters tapped.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}.
{4}, {T}: Scry 1.

Ignacio of Myra's Marvels

As Ignacio of Myra's Marvels enters, choose armor, blood, book, bottle, fang, fire, scroll, spear, sword, or water.
Whenever you cast a spell with the chosen object in its art, create two Treasure tokens.
Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

Ambiguity

Whenever a player plays a spell that counters a spell that has been played or a player plays a spell that comes into play with counters, that player may counter the next spell played or put an additional counter on a permanent that has already been played, but not countered.

Greater Morphling

{2}: Greater Morphling gains your choice of banding, bushido 1, double strike, fear, flying, first strike, haste, landwalk of your choice, protection from a color of your choice, provoke, rampage 1, shadow, or trample until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling becomes the colors of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling becomes the creature type of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling's expansion symbol becomes the symbol of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling's art becomes by the artist of your choice until end of turn.
{2}: Greater Morphling gets +2/-2 or -2/+2 until end of turn.
{2}: Untap Greater Morphling.

Animate Library

Enchant your library
Enchanted library is an artifact creature on the battlefield with power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It's still a library.
If enchanted library would leave the battlefield, exile Animate Library instead.

Volcanic Island

Common Courtesy

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.
When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice Common Courtesy.