Monologue Tax

Whenever an opponent casts their second spell each turn, you create a Treasure token.

Earth-Cult Elemental

Siege Monster — When Earth-Cult Elemental enters, roll a d20.
1—9 | Each player sacrifices a permanent.
10—19 | Each opponent sacrifices a permanent.
20 | Each opponent sacrifices two permanents.

Swarming Goblins

When Swarming Goblins enters, roll a d20.
1—9 | Create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token.
10—19 | Create two of those tokens.
20 | Create three of those tokens.

Attempted Murder

Choose target creature. Roll X six-sided dice. For each even result, put two -1/-1 counters on that creature. For each odd result, create a 1/2 blue Bird creature token with flying named Storm Crow.

Captain Lannery Storm

Haste
Whenever Captain Lannery Storm attacks, create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")
Whenever you sacrifice a Treasure, Captain Lannery Storm gets +1/+0 until end of turn.

Crime Novelist

Whenever you sacrifice an artifact, put a +1/+1 counter on Crime Novelist and add {R}.

Priority Boarding

Whenever you roll a die, you may reveal the top card of your library. Do this only once each turn. Whenever you reveal a card with mana value less than the result this way, you may exile it. If you do, you may play it this turn.

Six-Sided Die

Choose target creature. Roll a six-sided die.
1 — It has base toughness 1 until end of turn.
2 — Put two -1/-1 counters on it.
3 — Six-Sided Die deals 3 damage to it and you gain 3 life.
4 — It gets -4/-4 until end of turn.
5 — Destroy it.
6 — Exile it.