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Don't @ Me
Cast this spell only during the declare blockers step on an opponent's turn. Remove all attacking creatures from combat and untap them. After this phase, there is an additional combat phase. Each of those creatures attacks that combat if able. They can't attack you or planeswalkers you control that combat.

Enchant creature Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and is goaded. (It attacks each combat if able and attacks a player other than you if able.) Whenever enchanted creature attacks, you create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this token: Add one mana of any color.")

Don't @ Me
Draw
Cumulative upkeep {1} (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on this permanent, then sacrifice it unless you pay its upkeep cost for each age counter on it.) Whenever an opponent casts a noncreature spell, you may draw a card unless that player pays {4}.

Draw
Enchantment
Enchantment
Kit
Until your next turn, your life total can't change and you gain protection from everything. All permanents you control phase out. (While they're phased out, they're treated as though they don't exist. They phase in before you untap during your untap step.) Exile Teferi's Protection.

Kit
Land
Land
Ramp
Ramp
Removal
Removal
Spare Me
You may have Sakashima the Impostor enter as a copy of any creature on the battlefield, except its name is Sakashima the Impostor, it's legendary in addition to its other types, and it has "{2}{U}{U}: Return Sakashima the Impostor to its owner's hand at the beginning of the next end step."

Spare Me
Warmonger
Flying, first strike If a source would deal damage to an opponent or a permanent an opponent controls, that source deals double that damage to that player or permanent instead. If a source would deal damage to you or a permanent you control, prevent half that damage, rounded up.
