Decisions, Decisions

Reveal the top three cards of your library, then choose a consonant. (Y counts.) Put each card that has the chosen letter in the first word of its name from among them into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library in any order.

Dr. Julius Jumblemorph

Dr. Julius Jumblemorph is every creature type (even if this card isn't on the battlefield).
Whenever a host you control enters, you may search your library and/or graveyard for a card with augment and combine it with that host. If you search your library this way, shuffle.

Half-Squirrel, Half-

Whenever a nontoken creature enters,
Augment {G} ({G}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Goblin Haberdasher

Menace (This creature can't be blocked except by two or more creatures.)
Other creatures you control wearing hats in their art have menace.

Bamboozling Beeble

Protection from Robots
{1}, {T}: The next time target player would roll one or more dice this turn, instead they roll that many dice plus one and you choose one of those rolls to ignore.

Snickering Squirrel

You may tap this creature to increase the result of a die any player rolled by 1.

Trigger Happy

Choose a triggered ability of target permanent. It triggers. You control that ability.

Wild Crocodile

When this creature enters, search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Willing Test Subject

Reach
Whenever you roll a 4 or higher on a die, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.
{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

Flaccify

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {3}{½}.

Side Quest

Target player in an Un-game you can see from your seat gains control of target creature you control until your next turn. At the beginning of your next upkeep, put two +1/+1 counters on that creature. (A creature is on the battlefield of only the game its controller is playing.)

Black Dragon Gate

This land enters tapped.
As this land enters, choose a color other than black.
{T}: Add {B} or one mana of the chosen color.

Priority Boarding

Whenever you roll a die, you may reveal the top card of your library. Do this only once each turn. Whenever you reveal a card with mana value less than the result this way, you may exile it. If you do, you may play it this turn.

Targeting Rocket

Whenever you crank this Contraption, target creature blocks this turn if able.

AWOL

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

capital offense

target creature gets -x/-x until end of turn, where x is the number of times a capital letter appears in its rules text. (ignore reminder text and flavor text.)

Skybridge Towers

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {W} or {U}.
{2}{W}{U}, {T}, Sacrifice this land: Draw a card.

Enraged Killbot

Symbol Status

Create a 1/1 colorless Expansion-Symbol creature token for each different expansion symbol among permanents you control.

Flock of Rabid Sheep

Flip X coins. For each flip you win, create a 2/2 green Sheep creature token named Rabid Sheep.

Oaken Power Suit

Whenever you crank this Contraption, target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the greatest power among creatures you control.

Look at Me, I'm the DCI

Ban a card other than a basic land card for the rest of the match. (All cards with that name in any zone or sideboard are removed from the match.)

Paper Tiger

Creatures named Rock Lobster can't attack or block.

Chivalrous Chevalier

Flying
When this creature enters, return a creature you control to its owner's hand unless you compliment an opponent.

Quick-Stick Lick Trick

Whenever you crank this Contraption, target creature gets +1/+1 and gains lifelink until end of turn.

Wall of Fortune

Defender
You may tap an untapped Wall you control to have any player reroll a die that player rolled.

Elvish Impersonators

As this creature enters, roll a six-sided die twice. Its base power becomes the first result and its base toughness becomes the second result.

Lexivore

Whenever this creature deals damage to a player, destroy target permanent other than this creature with the most lines of text in its text box. (If two or more cards are tied, target any one of them.)

Abstract Iguanart

Whenever you cast a spell, note the first letter of its artist's name. If that letter wasn't already noted, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.

Top-Secret Tunnel

Whenever you crank this Contraption, target creature can't be blocked this turn.

Attempted Murder

Choose target creature. Roll X six-sided dice. For each even result, put two -1/-1 counters on that creature. For each odd result, create a 1/2 blue Bird creature token with flying named Storm Crow.

Mad Science Fair Project

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or lower, target player adds {C}. Otherwise, that player adds one mana of any color they choose.

Everythingamajig

{1}, {T}: Scry 2.
{1}, {T}, Pay 1 life: Create a 0/1 white Goat creature token.
{7}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Choose target player. At the beginning of the next end step, exchange life totals with that player, exchange control of all permanents you and that player control, and exchange cards in your hands, cards in your libraries, and cards in your graveyards.

Steamflogger of the Month

When this creature enters, it assembles a Contraption for each Contraption you control. (To assemble a Contraption, put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Tramway Station

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.
{2}{B}{R}, {T}, Sacrifice this land: Draw a card.

Dispatch Dispensary

Whenever you crank this Contraption, create a 2/2 black Rogue creature token with menace.

Ineffable Blessing

As Ineffable Blessing enters, choose a number.
Whenever a creature you control with exactly the chosen number of words in its name enters, draw a card. (Hyphenated words are one word.)

Chittering Doom

Whenever you roll a 4 or higher on a die, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

The Grand Calcutron

When The Grand Calcutron enters, each player's hand becomes a program (an ordered row of revealed cards).
Players can play only the first card of their program.
If a card would be put into a player's hand from anywhere, that player reveals it and places it anywhere within their program instead.
At the beginning of each player's end step, if that player's program has fewer than five cards, they draw cards equal to the difference.
The Grand Calcutron can be your commander.

Half-Kitten, Half-

Whenever you're dealt damage,
Augment {2}{W} ({2}{W}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Do-It-Yourself Seraph

Flying
Whenever this creature attacks, you may search your library for an artifact card, exile it, then shuffle.
This creature has the text box of each card exiled with this creature in addition to its own.

Lorehold Campus

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {R} or {W}.
{4}, {T}: Scry 1.

Head Banger

Whenever you crank this Contraption, target creature must be blocked this turn if able.

Mary O'Kill

{1}{B/R}: Switch a Killbot or Mary O'Kill in your hand with one on the battlefield. (If a creature is tapped, the switched creature is tapped. The same is true for untapped, attacking, blocking, enchanted, equipped, and targeted. Any counters on a creature are on the switched creature instead.)

Stinging Scorpion

When this creature enters, target creature an opponent controls gets -1/-1 until end of turn.

Gift Horse

Whenever you crank this Contraption, roll two six-sided dice. Create a number of 1/1 red Goblin creature tokens equal to the difference between those results.

Applied Aeronautics

Whenever you crank this Contraption, until end of turn, target creature gets +1/+0, gains flying, and becomes an artifact in addition to its other types.

Steamflogger Service Rep

Whenever another Goblin you control enters, you may pay {1}. If you do, this creature assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Super-Duper Death Ray

Trample (This spell can deal excess damage to its target's controller.)
Super-Duper Death Ray deals 4 damage to target creature.

Boomflinger

Whenever you crank this Contraption, roll two six-sided dice. This Contraption deals damage to target player or planeswalker equal to the difference between those results.

Eager Beaver

When this creature enters, you may untap target permanent.

Lobe Lobber

Equipped creature has "{T}: This creature deals 1 damage to target player or planeswalker. Roll a six-sided die. On a 5 or higher, untap it."
Equip {2}

Party Crasher

Haste
You can attack with this creature once each combat during each opponent's turn.

Citadel Gate

This land enters tapped.
As this land enters, choose a color other than white.
{T}: Add {W} or one mana of the chosen color.

S.N.E.A.K. Dispatcher

{2}{U}, {T}: Look at the top card of target player's library. If it has an Agents of S.N.E.A.K. watermark, you may reveal it and put it into your hand. Otherwise, put it on your choice of the top or bottom of its owner's library.

Five-Finger Discount

Put target nonland permanent into your hand. You may spend mana as though it were mana of any color the next time you cast that card.

Mer Man

When this creature enters, you may draw a card.

Proper Laboratory Attire

Equipped creature gets +2/+1 and has protection from die rolls. (Nothing that lets a player roll a die can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to equipped creature.)
Equip {2}

Cogmentor

Flying
{4}: Reassemble target Contraption you control. (Move it onto another one of your sprockets.)

Common Iguana

When this creature enters, you may discard a card. If you do, draw a card.

Night Shift of the Living Dead

After you roll a die, you may pay 1 life. If you do, increase or decrease the result by 1. Do this only once each turn.
Whenever you roll a 6, create a 2/2 black Zombie Employee creature token.

Witherbloom Campus

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {B} or {G}.
{4}, {T}: Scry 1.

Land Aid '04

Search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. If you sang a song the whole time you were searching and shuffling, you may untap that land.

Beast in Show

Painiac

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. This creature gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the result.

Johnny, Combo Player

{4}: Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle.

Dual Doomsuits

Whenever you crank this Contraption, each time a source you control would deal damage this turn, it deals double that damage instead.

Idyllic Beachfront

({T}: Add {W} or {U}.)
This land enters tapped.

Emcee

Whenever another creature enters, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.

Underdome

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.

Fowl Play

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a Bird creature with base power and toughness 1/1.

Pair o' Dice Lost

Roll two six-sided dice. Return any number of cards with total mana value X or less from your graveyard to your hand, where X is the total of those results. Exile Pair o' Dice Lost.

Goblin Slingshot

Whenever you crank this Contraption, creatures you control get +2/+0 and gain trample until end of turn.

Atomwheel Acrobats

Whenever you roll a 1 or 2, put that many +1/+1 counters on this creature.
{2}{G}: Roll a six-sided die.

Monoxa, Midway Manager

Whenever you roll a 3 or higher, Monoxa gains first strike until end of turn. If the roll was 4 or higher, it gains menace until end of turn. If the roll was 5 or higher, it gains lifelink until end of turn.
{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

Really Epic Punch

Target creature you control gets +2/+2 if it's a host or has augment. Then it fights target creature you don't control.

Hard Hat Area

Whenever you crank this Contraption, roll two six-sided dice. This Contraption assembles a number of Contraptions equal to the difference between those results. (To assemble a Contraption, put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Gray Merchant of Alphabet

When this creature enters, choose a letter. For each creature you control that has the chosen letter in its name, you gain 1 life and each opponent loses 1 life.

Super-Duper Lost

Put target creature into its owner's library just beneath the top X cards of that library, where X is the number of doors you can see from your seat.

Prismari Campus

This land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}.
{4}, {T}: Scry 1.

Cliffgate

This land enters tapped.
As this land enters, choose a color other than red.
{T}: Add {R} or one mana of the chosen color.

Chicken Egg

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 6, sacrifice this creature and create a 4/4 red Giant Bird creature token.

Gnome-Made Engine

When this creature enters, create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.

Robo-

At the beginning of each end step, if an artifact entered the battlefield under your control this turn,
Augment {2} ({2}, Reveal this card from your hand: Combine it with target host. Augment only as a sorcery.)

Grand Marshal Macie

You may choose not to untap Grand Marshal Macie during your untap step. If you do, put a pause counter on it, then you lose 1 life for each pause counter on it.
Whenever Macie becomes untapped, remove all pause counters from it.
{2}, {T}: Choose an "until end of turn" or "this turn" effect. As long as Macie remains tapped, that effect doesn't end.

Double Header

Flying
When this creature enters, you may return target permanent with a two-word name to its owner's hand.

Squirrel-Powered Scheme

Increase the result of each die you roll by 2.

Scissors Lizard

Creatures named Paper Tiger can't attack or block.

Adorable Kitten

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. You gain life equal to the result.

Eye to Eye

You and target creature's controller have a staring contest. If you win, destroy that creature.

Lackey Recycler

Whenever you crank this Contraption, put target creature card from your graveyard on top of your library.

The Big Idea

{2}{B/R}{B/R}, {T}: Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Brainiac creature tokens equal to the result.
Tap three untapped Brainiacs you control: The next time you would roll a six-sided die, instead roll two six-sided dice and use the total of those results.

T.A.P.P.E.R.

{T}, Tap an untapped creature you control that has a hat: Tap target creature.

Spell Suck

Counter target spell, then assemble a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Trapeze Artist

Flying
This creature enters by being flipped from a height of at least one foot (about 0.3 meters). If it lands face down or didn't turn over completely at least once during the flip, return it to its owner's hand.

Blast from the Past

Madness {R}, cycling {1}{R}, kicker {2}{R}, flashback {3}{R}, buyback {4}{R}
Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to any target. If this spell was kicked, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token.

Time Out

Roll a six-sided die. Put target nonland permanent into its owner's library just beneath the top X cards of that library, where X is the result.

Overt Operative

Menace
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Mother Kangaroo

When this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. Put a number of +1/+1 counters on this creature equal to the result.

Molten Tributary

({T}: Add {U} or {R}.)
This land enters tapped.

Geothermal Bog

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)
This land enters tapped.

Tangled Islet

({T}: Add {G} or {U}.)
This land enters tapped.