Pie-roclasm

Pie-roclasm deals π damage to each non-Clown creature. (How to calculate π isn't important. It's a smidgen more than 3.)

Have

Omniclown Colossus

Affinity for Clowns (This spell costs {1} less to cast for each Clown you control.)
Trample

Omniclown Colossus // Pie-roclasm

Foam Weapons Kiosk

Visit — Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature you control. That creature gains vigilance until end of turn.

Souvenir T-Shirt

Gear Up, sponsored by Wizards of the Coast — As Souvenir T-Shirt enters, roll two six-sided dice. For each Magic-branded item you're wearing, roll an additional six-sided die. Choose two of those results.
Equipped creature gets +X/+Y, where X is the first chosen result and Y is the second.
Equip {4}

Park Bleater

Whenever another creature you own enters, you get {TK}.
{W}, {T}: You may put a sticker on a creature you own that entered this turn.

Merry-Go-Round

Visit — Creatures you control with power 2 or less gain horsemanship until end of turn. (They can't be blocked except by creatures with horsemanship.)

Gift Shop

Visit — Choose one that hasn't been chosen.
• Create a 1/1 red Balloon creature token with flying.
• Create a 2/2 pink Teddy Bear creature token.
• Create two Food tokens.
• You get {TK}{TK}{TK}.
• You may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Strength-Testing Hammer

Whenever equipped creature attacks, roll a six-sided die. That creature gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the result. Then if it has the greatest power or is tied for greatest power among creatures on the battlefield, draw a card.
Equip {3}

Giant Teddy Bear

Information Booth

Balloon Stand

Visit — Choose one.
• Create a 1/1 red Balloon creature token with flying.
• Sacrifice a Balloon. If you do, target creature gains flying until end of turn.

Non-Human Cannonball

When Non-Human Cannonball dies, roll a six-sided die. If the result is 4 or less, Non-Human Cannonball deals that much damage to you.

Park Re-Entry

Return up to two target creature cards that each have a hat and/or mana value 3 or less from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Pin Collection

When Pin Collection enters, you may put an ability sticker with ticket cost X or less on it without paying that sticker's ticket cost.
Equipped creature gets +1/+1 and has all abilities of ability stickers on Pin Collection.
Equip {2}

Roller Coaster

Visit — Creatures you control get +2/+0 until end of turn.

Assembled Ensemble

Vigilance
Assembled Ensemble's power is equal to the number of Robots you control.
Whenever you cast a spell with an artifact creature in its art, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

The Big Top

{T}: Add one mana of any color that appears on your top. (A top is an outerwear garment worn on the upper body.)

Mountain

Water Gun Balloon Game

As Water Gun Balloon Game enters, each player puts a pop! counter on "0."
Whenever a player casts a spell, move that player's pop! counter up one.
Whenever a player's pop! counter hits "5," that player creates a 5/5 pink Giant Teddy Bear creature token and resets all pop! counters to "0."

Clown Extruder

Visit — Create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Not Unfinity

Panharmonicon

If an artifact or creature entering causes a triggered ability of a permanent you control to trigger, that ability triggers an additional time.

Urza's Science Fair Project

{2}: Roll a six-sided die. Urza's Science Fair Project gets the indicated result.
1 — It gets -2/-2 until end of turn.
2 — Prevent all combat damage it would deal this turn.
3 — It gains vigilance until end of turn.
4 — It gains first strike until end of turn.
5 — It gains flying until end of turn.
6 — It gets +2/+2 until end of turn.

Complaints Clerk

When Complaints Clerk enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
Whenever you roll a 1, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Thought Vessel

You have no maximum hand size.
{T}: Add {C}.

Form of the Approach of the Second Sun

When this enchantment enters, you gain 7 life. You become a card until you leave your library or that library is shuffled. Put yourself seventh from the top, balancing the cards on top of you on your head.
When you draw yourself, you win the game.
When one or more cards fall off your head, exile them and all cards on your head, then sacrifice this enchantment.

Nearby Planet

Rangeling (This card is every land type, including Plains, Island, Swamp, Mountain, Forest, Desert, Gate, Lair, Locus, and all those Urza's ones.)
Nearby Planet enters tapped.
When Nearby Planet enters, sacrifice it unless you pay {1}.

Celebr-8000

At the beginning of combat on your turn, roll two six-sided dice. For each result of 1, Celebr-8000 gets +1/+1 until end of turn. For each other result, it gains the indicated ability until end of turn. If you rolled doubles, it also gains double strike until end of turn.
• 2 — menace
• 3 — vigilance
• 4 — lifelink
• 5 — flying
• 6 — indestructible

Teddy Bear

Wicker Picker

Creature spells you cast have sticker kicker {1}. (You may pay an additional {1} as you cast a creature spell. If you do, you get {TK}, then you may put a sticker on it.)

Concession Stand

Visit — Create a Food token. (It's an artifact with "{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")

Clown Robot

Blue Ribbon

When Blue Ribbon enters, ask a person outside the game which creature you control is most deserving of a blue ribbon. Attach Blue Ribbon to that creature.
Equipped creature has best in show. (Whenever another creature becomes the target of a spell or ability you control, you may copy that spell or ability. If you do, the copy targets this creature.)
Equip {3}

Squirrel Stack

Visit — You have five seconds to stack dice on top of one another. If you stack at least five dice, claim the prize!
Prize — Create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token for each die you stacked above the fourth, then sacrifice Squirrel Stack and open an Attraction.

Mad Science Fair Project

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or lower, target player adds {C}. Otherwise, that player adds one mana of any color they choose.

Bar Entry

Choose one —
• Destroy target creature with power 4 or greater.
• Destroy target creature with any part of its head higher than the bar. (Align the tops of both cards to check.)

Tunnel of Hate

Whenever you attack, target attacking creature gains double strike until end of turn.
(You may cast either half. That door unlocks on the battlefield. As a sorcery, you may pay the mana cost of a locked door to unlock it.)

Ticket Booth

When you unlock this door, manifest dread.
(You may cast either half. That door unlocks on the battlefield. As a sorcery, you may pay the mana cost of a locked door to unlock it.)

Ticket Booth // Tunnel of Hate

Have (Not Unfinity)

Just Desserts

Just Desserts deals π damage to target creature. (π is the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. (It's a smidgen more than 3.))

Food

{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this token: You gain 3 life.

One-Clown Band

{2}{R}: Target Robot gets +2/+0 until end of turn.

Juggletron

Trample
Whenever Juggletron attacks, you may put an art sticker on it.
Juggletron gets +3/+0 for each item in its art that's not touching Juggletron, another item, or the card frame.

Amped Up

This spell costs {1} less to cast for each electrical socket in a wall or floor you can see from your seat.
Gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature. Until end of turn, it gets +3/+0 and gains haste.

Impounding Lot-Bot

When Impounding Lot-Bot enters, you may say "INCARCERATE!" in a robot voice. If you do, exile another target artifact or enchantment until Impounding Lot-Bot leaves the battlefield.

Wordmail

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each word in its name.

Hall of Mirrors

Visit — Choose target creature you control. Each other creature you control becomes a copy of that creature until end of turn, except it isn't legendary.

T.A.P.P.E.R.

{T}, Tap an untapped creature you control that has a hat: Tap target creature.

Far Out

Rather than choose the indicated number of modes for spells and abilities you control, you may choose one or more modes. You can't choose any mode more than once.

Trigger Happy

Choose a triggered ability of target permanent. It triggers. You control that ability.

Hat Trick

Target blocking or blocked creature you control gets +1/+1 and gains first strike until end of turn. If it has a hat, it gains double strike until end of turn. If you and that creature each have a hat, the creature gains triple strike until end of turn.

Pietra, Crafter of Clowns

Haste
Robots you control get +1/+1.
{R}{W}, {T}, Tell a joke you haven't told this game to someone outside the game: Create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token. If that person laughed, the token gains haste until end of turn.

_____ Bird Gets the Worm

Flying
When this creature enters, you may put a name sticker on it. You gain X life, where X is the number of unique vowels on that sticker. (The vowels are A, E, I, O, U, and Y.)

Log Flume

Visit — Choose up to four creatures you control. Those creatures jump in a log until end of turn. (Creatures in a log together can't be blocked unless they're all blocked. If a spell or ability you control targets one of them, it targets all of them.)

Plains

Minotaur de Force

Haste
When Minotaur de Force enters, you get {TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Ticket Turbotubes

{T}: Add one mana of any color.
{3}, {T}: You get {TK} (a ticket counter).

Slight Malfunction

Choose one —
• Destroy target artifact.
• Roll a six-sided die. When you do, Slight Malfunction deals 1 damage to each of up to X target creatures, where X is the result.

Surprise Party

When Surprise Party enters, yell "Surprise!" and put onto the battlefield any number of printed Clown Robot tokens that aren't touching each other, that you hid on the battlefield before you cast Surprise Party, and that weren't spotted by an opponent before you cast Surprise Party.
Robots you control get +1/+0 and have vigilance.

Rad Rascal

When Rad Rascal enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

Autograph Book

Autograph Book enters with a page counter on it for each person who has signed it.
{3}, {T}, Remove a page counter from Autograph Book: Draw a card.

Priority Boarding

Whenever you roll a die, you may reveal the top card of your library. Do this only once each turn. Whenever you reveal a card with mana value less than the result this way, you may exile it. If you do, you may play it this turn.

Reliquary Tower

Clown Car

When Clown Car enters, roll X six-sided dice. For each odd result, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token. For each even result, put a +1/+1 counter on Clown Car.
Crew 2

Codsworth, Handy Helper

Commanders you control have ward {2}.
{T}: Add {W}{W}. Spend this mana only to cast Aura and/or Equipment spells.
{T}: Attach target Aura or Equipment you control to target creature you control. Activate only as a sorcery.

Draconian Gate-Bot

When Draconian Gate-Bot enters, choose one —
• Open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
• Destroy target Attraction. (It's put into its owner's junkyard.)

Steel Overseer

{T}: Put a +1/+1 counter on each artifact creature you control.

Ride Guide

When Ride Guide enters, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)

A Good Day to Pie

Tap up to two target creatures.
Whenever you put a name sticker on a creature, you may return A Good Day to Pie from your graveyard to your hand.

Well Done

Well Done deals 5 damage to target creature. If that creature is rare or mythic rare, Well Done deals 3 damage to that creature's controller.

Comet, Stellar Pup

0: Roll a six-sided die.
1 or 2 — [+2], then create two 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens. They gain haste until end of turn.
3 — [−1], then return a card with mana value 2 or less from your graveyard to your hand.
4 or 5 — Comet, Stellar Pup deals damage equal to the number of loyalty counters on him to a creature or player, then [−2].
6 — [+1], and you may activate Comet, Stellar Pup's loyalty ability two more times this turn.

_____ Balls of Fire

When this enchantment enters, you may put a name sticker on it.
Whenever you put a sticker on this enchantment, it deals damage equal to the number of o's in name stickers on this enchantment to any target.

Mystic Forge

You may look at the top card of your library any time.
You may cast artifact spells and colorless spells from the top of your library.
{T}, Pay 1 life: Exile the top card of your library.

Standard Procedure

{1}, Reveal Standard Procedure from your hand: Choose an instant or sorcery card with mana value 3 or less currently legal in the Standard format. Standard Procedure becomes that card until end of turn.

Swinging Ship

Visit — After the first combat phase this turn, there's an additional combat phase. At the beginning of that combat, untap all creatures that attacked this turn.

Sanguine Sipper

Sanguine Sipper has lifelink as long as you control a stickered permanent.

Aerialephant

Flying
When Aerialephant enters, you get {TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Squirrel

Everythingamajig

{2}, {T}: Draw a card. Activate only if you have no cards in hand.
{8}, {T}: You gain 10 life.
{4}, {T}, Sacrifice Everythingamajig: You may put a silver-bordered or acorn permanent card from your hand onto the battlefield.

{2}, {T}: Move a counter from one permanent onto another. If the second permanent refers to any kind of counter, the moved counter becomes one of those counters. Otherwise, it becomes a +1/+1 counter.
{3}, {T}: Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.
{4}, {T}: Proliferate. (Choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.)

Big Winner

Big Winner has trample as long as you control a stickered permanent.

Robo-Piñata

When Robo-Piñata dies, choose one —
• You get {TK}{TK}.
• You may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Wake the Past

Return all artifact cards from your graveyard to the battlefield. They gain haste until end of turn.

Ticketomaton

When Ticketomaton enters, you get {TK}, then you may put a sticker on a nonland permanent you own.

Sacred Foundry

({T}: Add {R} or {W}.)
As Sacred Foundry enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Park Map

{1}, Sacrifice Park Map: Search your library for a land card that doesn't have the same art as a permanent you control, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Howling Mine

At the beginning of each player's draw step, if Howling Mine is untapped, that player draws an additional card.

Balloon

Circuits Act

Roll three six-sided dice. For each different result, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Ticking Mime Bomb

When Ticking Mime Bomb enters, without speaking or indicating any specific creature, pantomime to a person outside the game, then they choose a creature you don't control. Ticking Mime Bomb deals damage equal to twice the number of Robots you control to the chosen creature.

Clowning Around

Create two 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature tokens, then roll a six-sided die. If the result is equal to or less than the number of Robots you control, create a 1/1 white Clown Robot artifact creature token.

Urza's Fun House

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {∞}. Activate only once and only if you control an Urza's Mine, an Urza's Power-Plant, and an Urza's Tower.
{7}, {T}: Head to AskUrza.com and click Urza's Fun House.