196
9/4/2024
simic stax with no real wincon
Deck Size: 100
Commander
Est deck cost: $9941.44
Salt sum: 112.72
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196
9/4/2024
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He's also just annoying

Qty: 1 Price: $5.99
Koma, Cosmos Serpent

This spell can't be countered. At the beginning of each upkeep, create a 3/3 blue Serpent creature token named Koma's Coil. Sacrifice another Serpent: Choose one — • Tap target permanent. Its activated abilities can't be activated this turn. • Koma gains indestructible until end of turn.

Creature
Koma, Cosmos Serpent (mkc) 213

He's also just annoying

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Counters - You're not allowed to play

Qty: 9 Price: $302.77
An Offer You Can't Refuse

Counter target noncreature spell. Its controller creates two Treasure tokens. (They're artifacts with "{T}, Sacrifice this token: Add one mana of any color.")

Instant
An Offer You Can't Refuse (blc) 170
Counterspell

Counter target spell.

Instant
Counterspell (cmm) 81
Fierce Guardianship

If you control a commander, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost. Counter target noncreature spell.

Instant
Fierce Guardianship (cmm) 94
Force of Negation

If it's not your turn, you may exile a blue card from your hand rather than pay this spell's mana cost. Counter target noncreature spell. If that spell is countered this way, exile it instead of putting it into its owner's graveyard.

Instant
Force of Negation (2x2) 50
Force of Will

You may pay 1 life and exile a blue card from your hand rather than pay this spell's mana cost. Counter target spell.

Instant
Force of Will (dmr) 50
Mana Drain

Counter target spell. At the beginning of your next main phase, add an amount of {C} equal to that spell's mana value.

Instant
Mana Drain (2x2) 57
Mana Leak

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {3}.

Instant
Mana Leak (2x2) 58
Mindbreak Trap

If an opponent cast three or more spells this turn, you may pay {0} rather than pay this spell's mana cost. Exile any number of target spells.

Instant
Mindbreak Trap (zen) 57
Swan Song

Counter target enchantment, instant, or sorcery spell. Its controller creates a 2/2 blue Bird creature token with flying.

Instant
Swan Song (c16) 98

Counters - You're not allowed to play

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Fast Mana

Qty: 10 Price: $2351.90
Chrome Mox

Imprint — When this artifact enters, you may exile a nonartifact, nonland card from your hand. {T}: Add one mana of any of the exiled card's colors.

Artifact
Chrome Mox (2xm) 240
Grim Monolith

This artifact doesn't untap during your untap step. {T}: Add {C}{C}{C}. {4}: Untap this artifact.

Artifact
Grim Monolith (ulg) 126
Jeweled Lotus

{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add three mana of any one color. Spend this mana only to cast your commander.

Artifact
Jeweled Lotus (cmm) 396
Lion's Eye Diamond

Discard your hand, Sacrifice this artifact: Add three mana of any one color. Activate only as an instant.

Artifact
Lion's Eye Diamond (mir) 307
Lotus Petal

{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.

Artifact
Lotus Petal (plst) TMP-294
Mana Crypt

At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, this artifact deals 3 damage to you. {T}: Add {C}{C}.

Artifact
Mana Crypt (plst) EMA-225
Mana Vault

This artifact doesn't untap during your untap step. At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay {4}. If you do, untap this artifact. At the beginning of your draw step, if this artifact is tapped, it deals 1 damage to you. {T}: Add {C}{C}{C}.

Artifact
Mana Vault (2x2) 308
Mox Diamond

If this artifact would enter, you may discard a land card instead. If you do, put this artifact onto the battlefield. If you don't, put it into its owner's graveyard. {T}: Add one mana of any color.

Artifact
Mox Diamond (sth) 138
Mox Opal

Metalcraft — {T}: Add one mana of any color. Activate only if you control three or more artifacts.

Artifact
Mox Opal (2xm) 275
Sol Ring

{T}: Add {C}{C}.

Artifact
Sol Ring (blc) 129

Fast Mana

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Just Annoying

Qty: 8 Price: $746.42
Cyclonic Rift

Return target nonland permanent you don't control to its owner's hand. Overload {6}{U} (You may cast this spell for its overload cost. If you do, change "target" in its text to "each.")

Instant
Cyclonic Rift (rvr) 40
Expropriate

Council's dilemma — Starting with you, each player votes for time or money. For each time vote, take an extra turn after this one. For each money vote, choose a permanent owned by the voter and gain control of it. Exile Expropriate.

Sorcery
Expropriate (plst) CN2-30
Heroic Intervention

Permanents you control gain hexproof and indestructible until end of turn.

Instant
Heroic Intervention (cmm) 295
Jin-Gitaxias, Core Augur

Flash At the beginning of your end step, draw seven cards. Each opponent's maximum hand size is reduced by seven.

Creature
Jin-Gitaxias, Core Augur (plst) NPH-37
Narset, Parter of Veils

Each opponent can't draw more than one card each turn. −2: Look at the top four cards of your library. You may reveal a noncreature, nonland card from among them and put it into your hand. Put the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order.

Planeswalker
Narset, Parter of Veils (cmm) 853
Propaganda

Creatures can't attack you unless their controller pays {2} for each creature they control that's attacking you.

Enchantment
Propaganda (otc) 108
Rhystic Study

Whenever an opponent casts a spell, you may draw a card unless that player pays {1}.

Enchantment
Rhystic Study (j22) 114
The One Ring

Indestructible When The One Ring enters, if you cast it, you gain protection from everything until your next turn. At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 1 life for each burden counter on The One Ring. {T}: Put a burden counter on The One Ring, then draw a card for each burden counter on The One Ring.

Artifact
The One Ring (ltr) 748

Just Annoying

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Land

Qty: 36 Price: $6290.80
Boseiju, Who Endures

{T}: Add {G}. Channel — {1}{G}, Discard this card: Destroy target artifact, enchantment, or nonbasic land an opponent controls. That player may search their library for a land card with a basic land type, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle. This ability costs {1} less to activate for each legendary creature you control.

Land
Boseiju, Who Endures (neo) 266
Breeding Pool

({T}: Add {G} or {U}.) As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Land
Breeding Pool (rvr) 275
Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Land
Command Tower (blc) 130
Forest

({T}: Add {G}.)

Land
Forest (blb) 378
Gaea's Cradle

{T}: Add {G} for each creature you control.

Land
Gaea's Cradle (usg) 321
Island

({T}: Add {U}.)

Land
Island (blb) 372
Rejuvenating Springs

This land enters tapped unless you have two or more opponents. {T}: Add {G} or {U}.

Land
Rejuvenating Springs (cmm) 424
Reliquary Tower

You have no maximum hand size. {T}: Add {C}.

Land
Reliquary Tower (blc) 132
Strip Mine

{T}: Add {C}. {T}, Sacrifice this land: Destroy target land.

Land
Strip Mine (4ed) 363
The Tabernacle at Pendrell Vale

All creatures have "At the beginning of your upkeep, destroy this creature unless you pay {1}."

Land
The Tabernacle at Pendrell Vale (leg) 307
Tropical Island

({T}: Add {G} or {U}.)

Land
Tropical Island (3ed) 288
Wasteland

{T}: Add {C}. {T}, Sacrifice this land: Destroy target nonbasic land.

Land
Wasteland (ema) 248

Land

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Ramp

Qty: 11 Price: $93.55
Ashnod's Altar

Sacrifice a creature: Add {C}{C}.

Artifact
Ashnod's Altar (cmm) 368
Cultivate

Search your library for up to two basic land cards, reveal those cards, put one onto the battlefield tapped and the other into your hand, then shuffle.

Sorcery
Cultivate (blc) 212
Decanter of Endless Water

You have no maximum hand size. {T}: Add one mana of any color.

Artifact
Decanter of Endless Water (clb) 309
Farseek

Search your library for a Plains, Island, Swamp, or Mountain card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Sorcery
Farseek (blc) 119
Growth Spiral

Draw a card. You may put a land card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Instant
Growth Spiral (lcc) 270
Kodama's Reach

Search your library for up to two basic land cards, reveal those cards, put one onto the battlefield tapped and the other into your hand, then shuffle.

Sorcery
Kodama's Reach (otc) 196
Nature's Lore

Search your library for a Forest card, put that card onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Sorcery
Nature's Lore (mkc) 178
Phyrexian Altar

Sacrifice a creature: Add one mana of any color.

Artifact
Phyrexian Altar (2x2) 311
Rampant Growth

Search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Sorcery
Rampant Growth (blc) 234
Thought Vessel

You have no maximum hand size. {T}: Add {C}.

Artifact
Thought Vessel (blc) 289
Three Visits

Search your library for a Forest card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Sorcery
Three Visits (otc) 209

Ramp

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Restart the game

Qty: 3 Price: $9.47
Karn Liberated

+4: Target player exiles a card from their hand. −3: Exile target permanent. −14: Restart the game, leaving in exile all non-Aura permanent cards exiled with Karn. Then put those cards onto the battlefield under your control.

Planeswalker
Karn Liberated (j22) 97
Sunder

Return all lands to their owners' hands.

Instant
Sunder (plst) USG-101
The Great Aurora

Each player shuffles all cards from their hand and all permanents they own into their library, then draws that many cards. Each player may put any number of land cards from their hand onto the battlefield. Exile The Great Aurora.

Sorcery
The Great Aurora (plst) ORI-179

Restart the game

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Stax - No one else can play

Qty: 21 Price: $137.55
Collector Ouphe

Activated abilities of artifacts can't be activated.

Creature
Collector Ouphe (plst) MH1-158
Crawlspace

No more than two creatures can attack you each combat.

Artifact
Crawlspace (dmr) 217
Cursed Totem

Activated abilities of creatures can't be activated.

Artifact
Cursed Totem (mh2) 295
Damping Sphere

If a land is tapped for two or more mana, it produces {C} instead of any other type and amount. Each spell a player casts costs {1} more to cast for each other spell that player has cast this turn.

Artifact
Damping Sphere (dmr) 219
Defense Grid

Each spell costs {3} more to cast except during its controller's turn.

Artifact
Defense Grid (9ed) 293
Energy Flux

All artifacts have "At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice this artifact unless you pay {2}."

Enchantment
Energy Flux (plst) MMQ-78
Fatespinner

At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, that player chooses draw step, main phase, or combat phase. The player skips each instance of the chosen step or phase this turn.

Creature
Fatespinner (plst) MRD-36
God-Pharaoh's Statue

Spells your opponents cast cost {2} more to cast. At the beginning of your end step, each opponent loses 1 life.

Artifact
God-Pharaoh's Statue (plst) WAR-238
Grafdigger's Cage

Creature cards in graveyards and libraries can't enter the battlefield. Players can't cast spells from graveyards or libraries.

Artifact
Grafdigger's Cage (m20) 227
Harbinger of the Seas

Nonbasic lands are Islands.

Creature
Harbinger of the Seas (mh3) 63
Mindlock Orb

Players can't search libraries.

Artifact
Mindlock Orb (plst) ALA-51
Smokestack

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may put a soot counter on this artifact. At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player sacrifices a permanent of their choice for each soot counter on this artifact.

Artifact
Smokestack (plst) USG-309
Sphere of Resistance

Spells cost {1} more to cast.

Artifact
Sphere of Resistance (exo) 139
Stasis

Players skip their untap steps. At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice this enchantment unless you pay {U}.

Enchantment
Stasis (5ed) 127
Static Orb

As long as this artifact is untapped, players can't untap more than two permanents during their untap steps.

Artifact
Static Orb (7ed) 319
Thorn of Amethyst

Noncreature spells cost {1} more to cast.

Artifact
Thorn of Amethyst (lrw) 262
Torpor Orb

Creatures entering don't cause abilities to trigger.

Artifact
Torpor Orb (nph) 162
Vexing Bauble

Whenever a player casts a spell, if no mana was spent to cast it, counter that spell. {1}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.

Artifact
Vexing Bauble (mh3) 212
Vorinclex, Voice of Hunger

Trample Whenever you tap a land for mana, add one mana of any type that land produced. Whenever an opponent taps a land for mana, that land doesn't untap during its controller's next untap step.

Creature
Vorinclex, Voice of Hunger (plst) NPH-127
Winter Moon

Players can't untap more than one nonbasic land during their untap steps.

Artifact
Winter Moon (mh3) 213
Winter Orb

As long as this artifact is untapped, players can't untap more than one land during their untap steps.

Artifact
Winter Orb (ema) 234

Stax - No one else can play

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The only way to win is to lose

Qty: 1 Price: $2.99
The Millennium Calendar

Whenever you untap one or more permanents during your untap step, put that many time counters on The Millennium Calendar. {2}, {T}: Double the number of time counters on The Millennium Calendar. When there are 1,000 or more time counters on The Millennium Calendar, sacrifice it and each opponent loses 1,000 life.

Artifact
The Millennium Calendar (lci) 257

The only way to win is to lose

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Deck Info

Deck stats

0 pips - 0 cards
0 mana - 11 cards
35 pips - 23 cards
31 mana - 27 cards
0 pips - 0 cards
0 mana - 11 cards
0 pips - 0 cards
0 mana - 11 cards
16 pips - 12 cards
33 mana - 29 cards
0 pips - 0 cards
17 mana - 10 cards
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Description

{"ops":[{"insert":"There is no "},{"attributes":{"italic":true},"insert":"real"},{"insert":" wincon, waste everyone's time - including you. Play the multiplayer format we all know and love like it's solitaire. Put our fast mana, play your stax pieces, and counter any fun anyone tries to have - be "},{"attributes":{"italic":true},"insert":"that guy"},{"insert":". I hated making this deck so I had to put one fun thing in here at least, if your goal is to slow the game down to an awful pace, your only chance at winning is going through "},{"insert":{"card-link":"The Millennium Calendar"}},{"insert":"... one turn at a time... the only way to win is to lose.\n"}]}
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