Spatula of the Ages

{4}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: You may put a silver-bordered or acorn permanent card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle

As this artifact enters, you and an opponent each secretly choose Whack or Doodle. Then those choices are revealed. If the choices match, this artifact has that ability. Otherwise, it has Buzz.
• Whack — {T}: Target player loses 2 life.
• Doodle — {T}: You gain 3 life.
• Buzz — {2}, {T}: Draw a card.

Stone-Cold Basilisk

Whenever this creature blocks or becomes blocked by a creature with fewer letters in its name, destroy that creature at end of combat. (Punctuation and spaces aren't letters.)
Whenever an opponent reads this creature, that player is turned to stone until end of turn. Stoned players can't attack, block, cast spells, or activate abilities.

Everythingamajig

Sacrifice a land: You gain 2 life.
Sacrifice a creature: Add {C}{C}.
{2}, Discard a card: Search your library for a card that shares a complete word in its name with the name of the discarded card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Sword of Dungeons & Dragons

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from Rogues and from Clerics.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create a 4/4 gold Dragon creature token with flying and roll a d20 (a twenty-sided die). If you roll a 20, repeat this process.
Equip {2}

Stocking Tiger

Stocking Tiger enters with a sealed Magic booster pack under it.
When Stocking Tiger deals combat damage to a player, unwrap the booster pack and put it into your hand.

Graveyard Busybody

All graveyards are also your graveyards.
Graveyard Busybody's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards with flavor text in your graveyards.

Creature Guy

Gotcha — If an opponent says "creature" or "guy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Creature Guy from your graveyard to your hand.

Fraction Jackson

{G}, {T}: Return target card with a ½ on it from your graveyard to your hand.

Evolving Wilds

{T}, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if this card is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return this artifact to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see this artifact.
{2}, Sacrifice this artifact: Destroy target attacking creature.

Double Header

Flying
When this creature enters, you may return target permanent with a two-word name to its owner's hand.

Misty Rainforest

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a Forest or Island card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Steel Squirrel

Whenever you roll a 5 or higher on a die, this creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.
{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

Secret Base

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a spell that shares a watermark with this land.

Chittering Doom

Whenever you roll a 4 or higher on a die, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Island

Staff of the Letter Magus

As this artifact enters, choose a consonant other than N, R, S, or T.
Whenever a player casts a spell, you gain 1 life for each time the chosen letter appears in that spell's name.

Growth Spurt

Roll a six-sided die. Target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.

Simic Signet

Urza's Science Fair Project

{2}: Roll a six-sided die. This creature gets the indicated result.
1 — It gets -2/-2 until end of turn.
2 — Prevent all combat damage it would deal this turn.
3 — It gains vigilance until end of turn.
4 — It gains first strike until end of turn.
5 — It gains flying until end of turn.
6 — It gets +2/+2 until end of turn.

Squirrel Dealer

When this creature enters, ask a person outside the game "Do you like Squirrels?" If they do, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

R&D's Secret Lair

Play cards as written. Ignore all errata.
{T}: Add {C}. (This mana is still added to your mana pool.)

Mad Science Fair Project

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or lower, target player adds {C}. Otherwise, that player adds one mana of any color they choose.

Vineglimmer Snarl

As this land enters, you may reveal a Forest or Island card from your hand. If you don't, this land enters tapped.
{T}: Add {G} or {U}.

B.O.B. (Bevy of Beebles)

As B.O.B. enters, create four 1/1 blue Beeble creature tokens.
The number of loyalty counters on B.O.B. is equal to the number of Beebles you control. (Create or sacrifice Beebles whenever B.O.B. gains or loses loyalty.)
+1: Up to X target Beebles can't be blocked this turn, where X is the number of cards in your hand.
−1: Draw a card.

Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Psychic Network

Each player plays with the top card of their library held against their forehead, revealed to each other player.

Clam-I-Am

If you roll a 3 on a six-sided die, you may reroll that die.

Watermarket

{T}: Add {C}{C}. Spend this mana only to cast spells with watermarks.

Avatar of Me

This spell costs {1} more to cast for each ten years you've been alive.
Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½.
Avatar of Me is the color of your eyes.

Laughing Hyena

Gotcha — If an opponent laughs, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return this card from your graveyard to your hand.

Question Elemental?

Did you know this creature has flying?
Are you aware that any time you say something that isn't a question, when a player points out this fact first, they gain control of this creature?

Lobe Lobber

Equipped creature has "{T}: This creature deals 1 damage to target player or planeswalker. Roll a six-sided die. On a 5 or higher, untap it."
Equip {2}

Clocknapper

When this creature enters, choose beginning phase, first main phase, combat phase, postcombat main phase, or ending phase. Steal that phase from target player during their next turn. (That phase occurs as though it's your turn instead.)

Richard Garfield, Ph.D.

You may play cards as though they were other cards of your choice with the same mana cost. You can't choose the same card twice. (Mana cost includes color.)

Pippa, Duchess of Dice

{2}{G}, {T}: Roll a six-sided die. It becomes a green Die creature token with power and toughness each equal to its result.
{2}{U}, {T}: Reroll any die. (Activate only any time it makes sense.)

Land Aid '04

Search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. If you sang a song the whole time you were searching and shuffling, you may untap that land.

Rings a Bell

As this enchantment enters, choose a word with four or more letters.
After you say the chosen word for the first time each turn, an opponent may ring or imitate a bell within five seconds. When no opponent does, draw a card.

Arcane Signet

Common Courtesy

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.
When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice this enchantment.

Flaccify

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {3}{½}.

Free-Range Chicken

{1}{G}: Roll two six-sided dice. If both results are the same, this creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is that result. If the total of those results is equal to any other total you have rolled this turn for this ability, sacrifice it. (For example, if you roll two 3s, it gets +3/+3. If you roll a 4 and a 2 for this ability later that turn, sacrifice it.)

Rejuvenating Springs

This land enters tapped unless you have two or more opponents.
{T}: Add {G} or {U}.

Ambiguity

Whenever a player plays a spell that counters a spell that has been played or a player plays a spell that comes into play with counters, that player may counter the next spell played or put an additional counter on a permanent that has already been played, but not countered.

Spell Counter

Counter target spell.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "spell" or "counter," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Spell Counter from your graveyard to your hand.

Kindslaver

{5}, {T}, Sacrifice Kindslaver: A person outside the game controls target player during that player's next turn. Neither player may advise that person until the end of that turn.

Dreamroot Cascade

This land enters tapped unless you control two or more other lands.
{T}: Add {G} or {U}.

Opal Palace

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity. If you spend this mana to cast your commander, it enters with a number of additional +1/+1 counters on it equal to the number of times it's been cast from the command zone this game.

Krark's Other Thumb

If you would roll a die, instead roll two of those dice and ignore one of those results.

Gleemax

You choose all targets for all spells and abilities.

B-I-N-G-O

Trample
Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value.
This creature gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.

Flock of Rabid Sheep

Flip X coins. For each flip you win, create a 2/2 green Sheep creature token named Rabid Sheep.

Bronze Calendar

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice this artifact.

Time Out

Roll a six-sided die. Put target nonland permanent into its owner's library just beneath the top X cards of that library, where X is the result.

Animate Library

Enchant your library
Enchanted library is an artifact creature on the battlefield with power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It's still a library.
If enchanted library would leave the battlefield, exile this Aura instead.

Willing Test Subject

Reach
Whenever you roll a 4 or higher on a die, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.
{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

Elvish Impersonators

As this creature enters, roll a six-sided die twice. Its base power becomes the first result and its base toughness becomes the second result.

Cheatyface

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying

Ashnod's Coupon

{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Target player gets you target drink. You pay any costs for the drink.

Supersize

Target creature gets +3½/+3½ until end of turn.

Rod of Spanking

{2}, {T}: This artifact deals 1 damage to target player. Then untap this artifact unless that player says "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"

Getting

Breeding Pool

({T}: Add {G} or {U}.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Brokers Hideout

When this land enters, sacrifice it. When you do, search your library for a basic Forest, Plains, or Island card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle and you gain 1 life.

Socketed Sprocketer

{T}: Uninstall all results from this creature, then roll a six-sided die. Install the result on this creature. (Put the die on this creature.)
You may uninstall a result from this creature to use it for a die you rolled.
Uninstall a 6 from this creature: Draw a card.

Johnny, Combo Player

{4}: Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle.

Chicken à la King

Whenever a 6 is rolled on a six-sided die, put a +1/+1 counter on each Bird. (You may roll dice only when instructed to.)
Tap an untapped Bird you control: Roll a six-sided die. (Like now.)

Hydradoodle

As this creature enters, roll X six-sided dice. This creature enters with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the total of those results.
Reach, trample

Ground Pounder

{3}{G}: Roll a six-sided die. This creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.
Whenever you roll a 5 or higher on a die, this creature gains trample until end of turn.

My First Tome

{1}, {T}: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and they guessed wrong, you draw a card.

Pair o' Dice Lost

Roll two six-sided dice. Return any number of cards with total mana value X or less from your graveyard to your hand, where X is the total of those results. Exile Pair o' Dice Lost.

Forest

Granny's Payback

Wall of Fortune

Defender
You may tap an untapped Wall you control to have any player reroll a die that player rolled.

Sol Ring

Selfie Preservation

Search your library for a basic land card and reveal it. If there's a tree in its art, put it onto the battlefield tapped. Otherwise, put it into your hand. Then shuffle.