Assquatch

Each other Donkey gets +1½/+1½.
Whenever another Donkey enters, untap target creature and gain control of it until end of turn. That creature gains haste until end of turn.

Celestine Cave Witch

When Celestine Cave Witch enters, create two 1/1 black Insect creature tokens.
Whenever Celestine Cave Witch attacks, you may sacrifice an Insect. When you do, curse defending player. (Create a black Aura Curse enchantment token that's attached to that player. It has enchant player and "At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 1 life.")

A Good Thing

Spells and abilities you control can't destroy, exile, target, or cause you to sacrifice A Good Thing.
At the beginning of your upkeep, double your life total. Then, if you have 1,000 or more life, you lose the game.

Panglacial Shinobi

Library ninjutsu {1}{U} ({1}{U}, Shuffle an unblocked attacker you control into its owner's library: Put this card onto the battlefield from your library tapped and attacking. Activate only while searching your library.)
Whenever Panglacial Shinobi deals combat damage to a player, draw a card.

Nocturno of Myra's Marvels

As Nocturno of Myra's Marvels enters, choose a word with five or more letters.
Whenever you cast a spell with the chosen word in its rules text, you draw a card and you lose 2 life.
Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

Advantageous Proclamation

(Start the game with this conspiracy face up in the command zone.)
Your minimum deck size is reduced by five.

Garbage Fire

Reveal this card as you draft it and note how many cards you've drafted this draft round, including this card.
Garbage Fire deals damage to target creature equal to the highest number you noted for cards named Garbage Fire.

Ignacio of Myra's Marvels

As Ignacio of Myra's Marvels enters, choose armor, blood, book, bottle, fang, fire, scroll, spear, sword, or water.
Whenever you cast a spell with the chosen object in its art, create two Treasure tokens.
Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

Plain Walker

Plainswalk
Planeswalkerwalk (This creature can't be blocked as long as defending player controls a planeswalker.)
Whenever Plain Walker deals combat damage to a player or planeswalker, planeswalk. (If you're playing Planechase, proceed to the next plane.)

The Countdown Is at One

Players play a Magic subgame, starting at 1 life and using their libraries as their decks. For the rest of the main game, if a source would deal damage to a player who didn't win the subgame, it deals double that damage to that player instead.

Smart Ass

Whenever this creature attacks, choose a card name. If defending player has no cards with the chosen name in their hand, they may reveal their hand. If they don't reveal their hand, this creature can't be blocked this turn.

As Luck Would Have It

Hexproof
Whenever you roll a die, put a number of luck counters on this enchantment equal to the result. Then if there are 100 or more luck counters on this enchantment, you win the game. (Count both rolls if you reroll a die.)

Zone of Flame

Enchant zone (Battlefield, command, exile, and stack are shared zones. Each player has their own graveyard, hand, and library zones.)
Whenever one or more cards enter or leave enchanted zone, Zone of Flame deals 1 damage to each opponent. (Tokens aren't cards.)

Tug of War

Players play a subgame starting at 5 life and with up to three permanent cards with different names from their main-game library on the battlefield. As the subgame ends, the winner chooses one of the cards they put onto the battlefield as the subgame began and puts it onto the battlefield rather than shuffling it into their library.

Gorilla Tactics

Create a 2/2 green Gorilla creature token.
When a spell or ability an opponent controls causes you to discard Gorilla Tactics, create two 2/2 green Gorilla creature tokens.

_____

{1}: This card's name becomes the card name of your choice. Activate anywhere, anytime.

Cogwork Librarian

Draft this card face up.
As you draft a card, you may draft an additional card from that booster pack. If you do, put this card into that booster pack.

Under-Construction Skyscraper

Level up {1} ({1}: Put a level counter on this. Level up only as a sorcery.)
{T}: Add {C}.
LEVEL 1-7
{T}: Add {W}, {B}, {G}, or {C}.
LEVEL 8+
{T}: Add {W}, {B}, {G}, or {C}. Scry 1.

Ashnod's Coupon

{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Target player gets you target drink. You pay any costs for the drink.

Cogwork Grinder

Draft this card face up.
As you draft a card, you may remove it from the draft face down. (Those cards aren't in your card pool.)
This creature enters with X +1/+1 counters on it, where X is the number of cards you removed from the draft with cards named Cogwork Grinder.

Strategy, Schmategy

Roll a six-sided die. Strategy, Schmategy has the indicated effect.
1 — Do nothing.
2 — Destroy all artifacts.
3 — Destroy all lands.
4 — Strategy, Schmategy deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.
5 — Each player discards their hand and draws seven cards.
6 — Repeat this process two more times.

Ass Whuppin'

Destroy target silver-bordered or acorn permanent in any game you can see from your seat.

Jermane, Pride of the Circus

{G}, {T}: Put two +1/+1 counters on target creature with four or more legs.
{1}{G}{G}, {T}: Until end of turn, all creatures able to block target creature with four or more legs do so.

Goblin Girder Gang

Reach
Whenever you roll a die, if the result isn't stored on this creature, you may store that result on it. When you do, this creature deals 1 damage to any target without a hat.
This creature gets +1/+0 for each result stored on it.

Ruff, Underdog Champ

All Hounds are Dogs. (We'll errata this to be true.)
First strike, lifelink
Underdog — If you've lost a game this match, Ruff, Underdog Champ and other Dogs you control get +1/+1.

Throat Wolf

You may cast Throat Wolf during an opponent's combat phase.
Firstest strike (This creature deals combat damage to creatures before creatures with first strike.)
After each opponent's first combat phase of each turn, there is an additional combat phase. Only Throat Wolf can attack during that combat phase.

Corrupted Key

As long as Corrupted Key is tapped, creatures you control have menace and deathtouch.

The Many Deeds of Belzenlok

I — Exile up to one target Saga card from a graveyard. Copy its chapter I ability.
II — Exile up to one target Saga card from a graveyard. Copy its chapter II ability.
III — Exile up to one target Saga card from a graveyard. Copy its chapter III ability.

Toddler's Rage

Flash
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+1 and has tantrum. (It's like trample but for blocking.)

You're in Command

Choose target creature you own and control. That creature becomes your commander. Any other commanders you have are no longer your commander. (That creature starts with a commander tax of {0}.)

Blood Poet

Spark (Activate spark abilities by spending or giving yourself spark counters. Activate only one spark ability per turn, and only as a sorcery.)
+1: Blood Poet gains lifelink until end of turn.
−3: Target opponent discards a card. You gain life equal to its converted mana cost.

Jetpack Janitor

Alpha strike (This creature has first strike as long as it's blocking or being blocked by a creature that comes after it alphabetically.)

Lantern of Undersight

You draw cards from the bottom of your library instead of the top of your library.

Everythingamajig

{2}, {T}: Move a counter from one permanent onto another. If the second permanent refers to any kind of counter, the moved counter becomes one of those counters. Otherwise, it becomes a +1/+1 counter.
{3}, {T}: Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.
{4}, {T}: Proliferate. (Choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.)

Inspirational Antelope

Legacy — Before the game starts, choose a keyword or ability word and write it below.
Spells with __________ you cast cost {1} less to cast.

Infernal Spawn of Evil

Flying, first strike
{1}{B}, Reveal this card from your hand, Say "It's coming": This card deals 1 damage to target opponent or planeswalker. Activate only during your upkeep and only once each turn.

Claire D'Loon, Joy Sculptor

When Claire D'Loon, Joy Sculptor enters, for the rest of the game, tokens you own become cards that are still tokens. (They continue to exist after they leave the battlefield.)
{1}{W}{U}, {T}: You may put a token from your graveyard or hand onto the battlefield.

Jack-in-the-Mox

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. This ability has the indicated effect.
1 — Sacrifice this artifact and you lose 5 life.
2 — Add {W}.
3 — Add {U}.
4 — Add {B}.
5 — Add {R}.
6 — Add {G}.

Vorthos, Steward of Myth

As Vorthos, Steward of Myth enters, choose a named Magic character.
Each spell you cast with the chosen character in its name, flavor text, or art costs {W}{U}{B}{R}{G} less to cast. This effect reduces only the amount of colored mana you pay.

Haberthrasher

Deathtouch
Whenever another creature you control that has a hat enters or a hat sticker is put on a creature you control, each opponent loses 1 life.

Ineffable Blessing

As this enchantment enters, choose white-bordered or silver-bordered.
Whenever a creature you control with the chosen border enters, draw a card.

Scooch

Add or subtract 1 from target creature's power, target player's life total, or target die roll's result.
Draw a card.

Lutri, Pauper Otter

Companion — Your starting deck contains no cards with a silver, gold, orange, or purple expansion symbol. (If this card is your chosen companion, you may put it into your hand from outside the game for {3} as a sorcery.)
When Lutri, Pauper Otter enters the battlefield, discard your hand, then draw three cards.

Hymn of the Wilds

(Start the game with this conspiracy face up in the command zone.)
The first creature spell you cast each turn costs {1} less to cast.
You can't cast instant or sorcery spells.

Yet Another Aether Vortex

All creatures have haste.
Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.
Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.

Subgoyf

Subgoyf's power and toughness are each equal to the number of different subtypes other than creature types among cards in all graveyards and its toughness is equal to that number plus 1. (Subtypes include but are absolutely not limited to: Plains, Equipment, Aura, Arcane, Jace, Curse, Urza's, Ulamog's, etc.)

Personal Decoy

Personal Decoy enters with a number of loyalty counters on it equal to your life total. If it would leave the battlefield, exile it instead of putting it anywhere else. You can't be attacked.
+1: You gain 1 life.
−4: Draw a card.

Swarm of Locus

Flying
Whenever Swarm of Locus attacks, it gets +1/+0 until end of turn for each Locus you control.

Caller of the Untamed

Before you shuffle your deck to start the game, you may reveal this card from your deck and exile a creature card you drafted that isn't in your deck.
{X}, {T}: Create a token that's a copy of a card you exiled with cards named Caller of the Untamed. X is the mana value of that card.

Knife and Death

Just a second (As long as this spell is on the stack, players can't move permanents.)
One at a time, throw ten cards you own from outside the game onto the playing area from a distance of at least three feet (about one meter). For each of those cards, Knife and Death deals 1 damage to each creature or planeswalker you don't control that card is touching. You gain life equal to the damage dealt this way.

Elvish Impersonators

As this creature enters, roll a six-sided die twice. Its base power becomes the first result and its base toughness becomes the second result.

Jester's Sombrero

{2}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Look at target player's sideboard, choose three cards from it, and remove those cards from the match.

Captain Rex Nebula

At the beginning of combat on your turn, choose target nonland permanent you control. Until end of turn, it becomes a Vehicle artifact with base power and toughness each equal to its mana value, and it gains crew 2 and "Crash Land — Whenever this Vehicle deals damage, roll a six-sided die. If the result is equal to this Vehicle's mana value, sacrifice this Vehicle, then it deals that much damage to any target."

Control Win Condition

This spell can't be countered.
Shroud
Control Win Condition's power and toughness are each equal to the number of turns you've taken this game. (If this is in your deck, please keep track of your turns. This means you, Mark.)

Fowl Play

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a Bird creature with base power and toughness 1/1.

Starting Town NPC

Each creature card in your hand has a {1}{G} Adventure sorcery named Fetch Herbs with "You gain 2 life." (You may cast it as the Adventure for {1}{G}. Then exile it, and you may cast the creature later from exile.)
Each creature card you cast from exile enters the battlefield with an additional +1/+1 counter on it.

Park Re-Entry

Return up to two target creature cards that each have a hat and/or mana value 3 or less from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Leovold's Operative

Draft this card face up.
As you draft a card, you may draft an additional card from that booster pack. If you do, turn this card face down, then pass the next booster pack without drafting a card from it. (You may look at that booster pack.)

Goblin Bowling Team

If this creature would deal damage to a permanent or player, it deals that much damage plus the result of a six-sided die roll to that permanent or player instead.

Geometric Weird

At the beginning of each end step, you may have Geometric Weird's base power and toughness each become equal to the greatest number of spells and abilities from different sources that were on the stack simultaneously that turn.

Richard Garfield, Ph.D.

You may play cards as though they were other cards of your choice with the same mana cost. You can't choose the same card twice. (Mana cost includes color.)

Decisions, Decisions

Reveal the top three cards of your library, then choose a consonant. (Y counts.) Put each card that has the chosen letter in the first word of its name from among them into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library in any order.

Centaur of Attention

When this creature enters, roll five six-sided dice and store those results on it.
At the beginning of combat on your turn, you may reroll any number of this creature's stored results.
This creature gets +X/+X, where X is the greatest number of stored results on it of the same value.

Wizened Arbiter

When Wizened Arbiter enters, you may reveal a white card you own from outside the game. If you do, exchange that card with a card in your hand.

Xyru Specter

Flying
Whenever Xyru Specter deals damage to an opponent, that player discards a card unless they challenge you. If challenged, and you show them two black cards in your hand, they must discard two cards.

Wordmail

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each word in its name.

Search Elemental

Whenever you search your library, scry 1.
Scryfall — Whenever you scry, put a +1/+1 counter on Search Elemental. It can't be blocked this turn.

Lazier Goblin

Motivate {3}{R} (This creature can't attack or block unless you have paid its motivate cost once. Motivate only as a sorcery.)
When Lazier Goblin enters, it deals 2 damage to any target.

Supersize

Target creature gets +3½/+3½ until end of turn.

Anax and Cymede & Kynaios and Tiro

First strike, vigilance
Heroic — Whenever you cast a spell that targets Anax and Cymede & Kynaios and Tiro, draw a card. Each player may put a land card from their hand onto the battlefield, then each opponent who didn't draws a card.

Experiment Five

{1}{Z}: Put a +1/+2 counter on Experiment Five. ({Z} is paid with one mana from any source that could produce two or more colors of mana.)

By Gnome Means

{1}{W}, Remove a counter from a permanent you control: Create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.
{1}{W}, Sacrifice an artifact: Choose any kind of counter a printed card refers to, then put one of that counter on target permanent.

Very Cryptic Command

Choose two —
• Draw a card from an opponent's library.
• Copy target instant or sorcery spell. You may choose new targets for the copy.
• Until end of turn, target creature loses all abilities and becomes a blue Frog with base power and toughness 1/1.
• Create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.

Toofer, Keeper of the Full Grip

Whenever a spell you control causes you to gain card advantage, each opponent loses 2 life. (You gain card advantage each time a spell you control resolves and you end up having more cards relative to your opponents than before that spell resolved. Divination, Annihilate, and Wrath of God can all be card advantage. And remember: tokens aren't cards!)

Forsaken Crossroads

Forsaken Crossroads enters the battlefield tapped.
As Forsaken Crossroads enters the battlefield, choose a color.
When Forsaken Crossroads enters the battlefield, scry 1. If you weren't the starting player, you may untap Forsaken Crossroads instead.
{T}: Add one mana of the chosen color.

Recycla-bird

Flying
When Recycla-bird dies, put a flying counter on target creature you control.

Learned Learner

As long as you have a maximum hand size other than 7, Learned Learner has "{T}: Draw a card."

Standard Procedure

{1}, Reveal Standard Procedure from your hand: Choose an instant or sorcery card with mana value 3 or less currently legal in the Standard format. Standard Procedure becomes that card until end of turn.

Painiac

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. This creature gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the result.

Generated Horizons

At the beginning of your upkeep, create a Forest land token.

T.A.P.P.E.R.

{T}, Tap an untapped creature you control that has a hat: Tap target creature.

Defender of the Queue

Positioning (As this creature enters, lock your creatures in order from left to right for as long as you control a creature with positioning. Each time a creature enters or comes under your control, position it to the left or right of another creature you control.)
Adjacent creatures to the left and right of Defender of the Queue get +1/+1 and have vigilance.

Cogwork Spy

Reveal this card as you draft it. You may look at the next card drafted from this booster pack.
Flying

Witty Demon

Flying
When Witty Demon enters, if your starting library had at least 13 cards over the minimum, search your library for a card and put that card into your hand, then shuffle your library. Otherwise, Witty Demon deals 4 damage to you.

Siege Elemental

Trample
Untapped creatures can't block.
Tapped creatures can block.

Vegetation Abomination

Deathtouch
{T}, Sacrifice this creature: Roll a six-sided die. You gain life equal to the result.

Imaginary Friends

Create three 0/0 white Spirit creature tokens with flying.

Pygmy Giant

{R}, {T}, Sacrifice a creature: This creature deals X damage to target creature, where X is a number in the sacrificed creature's text box.

Soulmates

Enchant two creatures
Enchanted creatures each get +1/+1 and have hexproof.
When one of the enchanted creatures dies, destroy the other.

Chea, Friend to Maybe Too Many

Familiar spells you cast have flash. (Bats, Birds, Cats, Dragons, Faeries, Foxes, Frogs, Imps, Lizards, and Spiders are familiars, as well as any creature with "Familiar" in its name.)
{T}: Add X {G} and each opponent loses X life, where X is the number of familiars you control.

Goblin Bookie

{R}, {T}: Reflip any coin or reroll any die. (Activate only any time it makes sense.)

Rat in the Hat

{T}, Sacrifice this creature: Until end of turn, you may cast target creature card that has a hat from your graveyard.

Chimney Goyf

Flying
Chimney Goyf's power is equal to the number of card types among cards in all graveyards and its toughness is equal to that number plus 1.
When Chimney Goyf dies, target opponent puts a card from their hand on top of their library.

Six-y Beast

As this creature enters, you secretly put six or fewer +1/+1 counters on it, then an opponent guesses the number of counters. If that player guesses right, sacrifice this creature after it enters.

Temp of the Damned

As this creature enters, roll a six-sided die. This creature enters with a number of funk counters on it equal to the result.
At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a funk counter from this creature. If you can't, sacrifice it.

Monkey Monkey Monkey

As this creature enters, choose a letter.
This creature gets +1/+1 for each nonland permanent whose name begins with the chosen letter.

Yawgmoth's Day Planner

{T}, Pay 2 life: Add {B}{B}.
You may cast spells from your graveyard. Only mana produced by abilities that caused you to lose life may be spent to cast spells this way. (Damage causes loss of life.)
If a card would be put into your graveyard from anywhere, exile it instead.

Jalum Grifter

{1}{R}, {T}: Shuffle Jalum Grifter and two lands you control face down. Target opponent chooses one of those cards. Turn the cards face up. If they chose Jalum Grifter, sacrifice it. Otherwise, destroy target permanent.

The Heron Moon

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}: Exile the bottom card of target opponent's library.
Whenever one or more cards an opponent owns are put into exile, put a release counter on The Heron Moon. Then if it has thirteen or more release counters on it, sacrifice it and create a copy of Emrakul, the Promised End. Cast it without paying its mana cost.

Take a Trip to...

Draw two cards. This spell deals 2 damage to each opponent. (Then exile this card. You may play the land later from exile.)

Value Town

Value Town enters the battlefield tapped.
{T}: Add {U} or {R}.