322
3/24/2025
ANY% GET MARRIED SPEEDRUN (TURN 5 WR)
Deck Size: 100
Commander
Legal
Est deck cost: $262.02
Salt sum: 35.1
322
3/24/2025
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Commander

Qty: 2 Price: $0.98
The First Doctor

When The First Doctor enters, search your library and/or graveyard for a card named TARDIS, reveal it, and put it into your hand. If you search your library this way, shuffle. Whenever you cast a spell with cascade, put a +1/+1 counter on target artifact or creature.

Creature
The First Doctor (who) 414
Vislor Turlough

Deal with the Black Guardian — When Vislor Turlough enters, you may have an opponent gain control of it. If you do, it's goaded for as long as they control it. At the beginning of your end step, draw a card, then you lose life equal to the number of cards in your hand. Doctor's companion (You can have two commanders if the other is the Doctor.)

Creature
Vislor Turlough (who) 74

Commander

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Instant

Qty: 4 Price: $16.32
Desertion

Counter target spell. If an artifact or creature spell is countered this way, put that card onto the battlefield under your control instead of into its owner's graveyard.

Instant
Desertion (vis) 30
Inkshield

Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt to you this turn. For each 1 damage prevented this way, create a 2/1 white and black Inkling creature token with flying.

Instant
Inkshield (dsc) 221
Rite of Undoing

Delve (Each card you exile from your graveyard while casting this spell pays for {1}.) Return target nonland permanent you control and target nonland permanent you don't control to their owners' hands.

Instant
Rite of Undoing (frf) 49
This Town Ain't Big Enough

This spell costs {3} less to cast if it targets a permanent you control. Return up to two target nonland permanents to their owners' hands.

Instant
This Town Ain't Big Enough (otj) 74

Instant

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Sorcery

Qty: 10 Price: $20.02
Aminatou's Augury

Exile the top eight cards of your library. You may put a land card from among them onto the battlefield. Until end of turn, for each nonland card type, you may cast a spell of that type from among the exiled cards without paying its mana cost.

Sorcery
Aminatou's Augury (cmm) 73
Beacon of Unrest

Put target artifact or creature card from a graveyard onto the battlefield under your control. Shuffle Beacon of Unrest into its owner's library.

Sorcery
Beacon of Unrest (hop) 18
Breach the Multiverse

Each player mills ten cards. For each player, choose a creature or planeswalker card in that player's graveyard. Put those cards onto the battlefield under your control. Then each creature you control becomes a Phyrexian in addition to its other types.

Sorcery
Breach the Multiverse (mom) 94
Brilliant Ultimatum

Exile the top five cards of your library. An opponent separates those cards into two piles. You may play lands and cast spells from one of those piles. If you cast a spell this way, you cast it without paying its mana cost.

Sorcery
Brilliant Ultimatum (ala) 159
Expel the Interlopers

Choose a number between 0 and 10. Destroy all creatures with power greater than or equal to the chosen number.

Sorcery
Expel the Interlopers (woe) 381
Extract from Darkness

Each player mills two cards. Then you put a creature card from a graveyard onto the battlefield under your control.

Sorcery
Extract from Darkness (2x2) 210
Fractured Identity

Exile target nonland permanent. Each player other than its controller creates a token that's a copy of it.

Sorcery
Fractured Identity (c17) 37
Fumigate

Destroy all creatures. You gain 1 life for each creature destroyed this way.

Sorcery
Fumigate (ltc) 170
Profane Command

Choose two — • Target player loses X life. • Return target creature card with mana value X or less from your graveyard to the battlefield. • Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn. • Up to X target creatures gain fear until end of turn. (They can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or black creatures.)

Sorcery
Profane Command (scd) 99
Unburial Rites

Return target creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield. Flashback {3}{W} (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

Sorcery
Unburial Rites (afc) 111

Sorcery

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Artifact

Qty: 7 Price: $44.59
Aeon Engine

This artifact enters tapped. {T}, Exile this artifact: Reverse the game's turn order. (For example, if play had proceeded clockwise around the table, it now goes counterclockwise.)

Artifact
Aeon Engine (c19) 52
Alhammarret's Archive

If you would gain life, you gain twice that much life instead. If you would draw a card except the first one you draw in each of your draw steps, draw two cards instead.

Artifact
Alhammarret's Archive (plst) ORI-221
Norn's Annex

({W/P} can be paid with either {W} or 2 life.) Creatures can't attack you or planeswalkers you control unless their controller pays {W/P} for each of those creatures.

Artifact
Norn's Annex (cmm) 829
Parhelion II

Flying, first strike, vigilance Whenever Parhelion II attacks, create two 4/4 white Angel creature tokens with flying and vigilance that are attacking. Crew 4 (Tap any number of creatures you control with total power 4 or more: This Vehicle becomes an artifact creature until end of turn.)

Artifact
Parhelion II (war) 24
TARDIS

Flying Whenever this Vehicle attacks, if you control a Time Lord, the next spell you cast this turn has cascade and you may planeswalk. Crew 2 (Tap any number of creatures you control with total power 2 or more: This Vehicle becomes an artifact creature until end of turn.)

Artifact
TARDIS (who) 187
The Magic Mirror

This spell costs {1} less to cast for each instant and sorcery card in your graveyard. You have no maximum hand size. At the beginning of your upkeep, put a knowledge counter on The Magic Mirror, then draw a card for each knowledge counter on The Magic Mirror.

Artifact
The Magic Mirror (eld) 51
Venser's Journal

You have no maximum hand size. At the beginning of your upkeep, you gain 1 life for each card in your hand.

Artifact
Venser's Journal (c21) 273

Artifact

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Land

Qty: 41 Price: $28.77
Abandoned Campground

This land enters tapped unless a player has 13 or less life. {T}: Add {W} or {U}.

Land
Abandoned Campground (dsk) 255
Adarkar Wastes

{T}: Add {C}. {T}: Add {W} or {U}. This land deals 1 damage to you.

Land
Adarkar Wastes (dsc) 258
Arcane Sanctum

This land enters tapped. {T}: Add {W}, {U}, or {B}.

Land
Arcane Sanctum (dsc) 259
Azorius Chancery

This land enters tapped. When this land enters, return a land you control to its owner's hand. {T}: Add {W}{U}.

Land
Azorius Chancery (mm2) 235
Caves of Koilos

{T}: Add {C}. {T}: Add {W} or {B}. This land deals 1 damage to you.

Land
Caves of Koilos (dsc) 268
Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Land
Command Tower (c13) 281
Contaminated Landscape

{T}: Add {C}. {T}, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a basic Plains, Island, or Swamp card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. Cycling {W}{U}{B} ({W}{U}{B}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Land
Contaminated Landscape (mh3) 218
Dimir Aqueduct

This land enters tapped. When this land enters, return a land you control to its owner's hand. {T}: Add {U}{B}.

Land
Dimir Aqueduct (dsc) 270
Drowned Catacomb

This land enters tapped unless you control an Island or a Swamp. {T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Land
Drowned Catacomb (who) 274
Exotic Orchard

{T}: Add one mana of any color that a land an opponent controls could produce.

Land
Exotic Orchard (blc) 131
Fetid Pools

({T}: Add {U} or {B}.) This land enters tapped. Cycling {2} ({2}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Land
Fetid Pools (otc) 296
Irrigated Farmland

({T}: Add {W} or {U}.) This land enters tapped. Cycling {2} ({2}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Land
Irrigated Farmland (mkc) 267
Island

({T}: Add {U}.)

Land
Island (dsk) 279
Isolated Chapel

This land enters tapped unless you control a Plains or a Swamp. {T}: Add {W} or {B}.

Land
Isolated Chapel (dom) 241
Orzhov Basilica

This land enters tapped. When this land enters, return a land you control to its owner's hand. {T}: Add {W}{B}.

Land
Orzhov Basilica (mm2) 246
Plains

({T}: Add {W}.)

Land
Plains (mh3) 310
Prairie Stream

({T}: Add {W} or {U}.) This land enters tapped unless you control two or more basic lands.

Land
Prairie Stream (cmm) 1020
Reliquary Tower

You have no maximum hand size. {T}: Add {C}.

Land
Reliquary Tower (dsc) 295
Remote Isle

This land enters tapped. {T}: Add {U}. Cycling {2} ({2}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Land
Remote Isle (dmr) 254
Swamp

({T}: Add {B}.)

Land
Swamp (mkm) 281
Temple of Deceit

This land enters tapped. When this land enters, scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom.) {T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Land
Temple of Deceit (dsc) 307
Temple of Enlightenment

This land enters tapped. When this land enters, scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom.) {T}: Add {W} or {U}.

Land
Temple of Enlightenment (thb) 246
Temple of Silence

This land enters tapped. When this land enters, scry 1. (Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom.) {T}: Add {W} or {B}.

Land
Temple of Silence (m20) 256
Terramorphic Expanse

{T}, Sacrifice this land: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Land
Terramorphic Expanse (one) 261
Underground River

{T}: Add {C}. {T}: Add {U} or {B}. This land deals 1 damage to you.

Land
Underground River (dsc) 321

Land

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Wedding Ring

Qty: 1 Price: $6.99
Wedding Ring

When this artifact enters, if it was cast, target opponent creates a token that's a copy of it. Whenever an opponent who controls an artifact named Wedding Ring draws a card during their turn, you draw a card. Whenever an opponent who controls an artifact named Wedding Ring gains life during their turn, you gain that much life.

Artifact
Wedding Ring (who) 213

Wedding Ring

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Creature

Qty: 24 Price: $67.90
Angel of the Ruins

Flying When this creature enters, exile up to two target artifacts and/or enchantments. Plainscycling {2} ({2}, Discard this card: Search your library for a Plains card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.)

Creature Artifact
Angel of the Ruins (otc) 78
Archpriest of Shadows

Backup 1 (When this creature enters, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature. If that's another creature, it gains the following abilities until end of turn.) Deathtouch Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player or battle, return target creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Creature
Archpriest of Shadows (mom) 89
Bloodgift Demon

Flying At the beginning of your upkeep, target player draws a card and loses 1 life.

Creature
Bloodgift Demon (scd) 69
Body of Knowledge

Body of Knowledge's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards in your hand. You have no maximum hand size. Whenever this creature is dealt damage, draw that many cards.

Creature
Body of Knowledge (blc) 163
Eagles of the North

Flying When this creature enters, creatures you control get +1/+0 and gain first strike until end of turn. Plainscycling {1} ({1}, Discard this card: Search your library for a Plains card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.)

Creature
Eagles of the North (ltr) 7
Jin-Gitaxias

Creature
Jin-Gitaxias // The Great Synthesis (mom) 65Jin-Gitaxias // The Great Synthesis (mom) 65
Junji, the Midnight Sky

Flying, menace When Junji dies, choose one — • Each opponent discards two cards and loses 2 life. • Put target non-Dragon creature card from a graveyard onto the battlefield under your control. You lose 2 life.

Creature
Junji, the Midnight Sky (neo) 102
Kairi, the Swirling Sky

Flying, ward {3} When Kairi dies, choose one — • Return any number of target nonland permanents with total mana value 6 or less to their owners' hands. • Mill six cards, then return up to two instant and/or sorcery cards from your graveyard to your hand.

Creature
Kairi, the Swirling Sky (neo) 60
Karmic Guide

Flying, protection from black Echo {3}{W}{W} (At the beginning of your upkeep, if this came under your control since the beginning of your last upkeep, sacrifice it unless you pay its echo cost.) When this creature enters, return target creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Creature
Karmic Guide (mh2) 263
Nezahal, Primal Tide

This spell can't be countered. You have no maximum hand size. Whenever an opponent casts a noncreature spell, draw a card. Discard three cards: Exile Nezahal. Return it to the battlefield tapped under its owner's control at the beginning of the next end step.

Creature
Nezahal, Primal Tide (rix) 45
Psychosis Crawler

Psychosis Crawler's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards in your hand. Whenever you draw a card, each opponent loses 1 life.

Creature Artifact
Psychosis Crawler (mbs) 126
Sakashima's Protege

Flash Cascade (When you cast this spell, exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card that costs less. You may cast it without paying its mana cost. Put the exiled cards on the bottom in a random order.) You may have this creature enter as a copy of any permanent that entered this turn.

Creature
Sakashima's Protege (cmr) 90
Scornful Egotist

Morph {U} (You may cast this card face down as a 2/2 creature for {3}. Turn it face up any time for its morph cost.)

Creature
Scornful Egotist (scg) 50
Seizan, Perverter of Truth

At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player loses 2 life and draws two cards.

Creature
Seizan, Perverter of Truth (j22) 463
Shriekmaw

Fear (This creature can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or black creatures.) When this creature enters, destroy target nonartifact, nonblack creature. Evoke {1}{B} (You may cast this spell for its evoke cost. If you do, it's sacrificed when it enters.)

Creature
Shriekmaw (lrw) 139
Spectral Snatcher

Ward—Discard a card. (Whenever this creature becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, counter it unless that player discards a card.) Swampcycling {2} ({2}, Discard this card: Search your library for a Swamp card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.)

Creature
Spectral Snatcher (dsk) 116
Tergrid, God of Fright

Creature
Tergrid, God of Fright // Tergrid's Lantern (khm) 112Tergrid, God of Fright // Tergrid's Lantern (khm) 112
The Council of Four

Whenever a player draws their second card during their turn, you draw a card. Whenever a player casts their second spell during their turn, you create a 2/2 white Knight creature token.

Creature
The Council of Four (clb) 271
The Watcher in the Water

The Watcher in the Water enters tapped with nine stun counters on it. (If a permanent with a stun counter would become untapped, remove one from it instead.) Whenever you draw a card during an opponent's turn, create a 1/1 blue Tentacle creature token. Whenever a Tentacle you control dies, untap up to one target Kraken and put a stun counter on up to one target nonland permanent.

Creature
The Watcher in the Water (ltr) 75
Thryx, the Sudden Storm

Flash (You may cast this spell any time you could cast an instant.) Flying Spells you cast with mana value 5 or greater cost {1} less to cast and can't be countered.

Creature
Thryx, the Sudden Storm (thb) 76
Timeless Dragon

Flying Plainscycling {2} ({2}, Discard this card: Search your library for a Plains card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.) Eternalize {2}{W}{W} ({2}{W}{W}, Exile this card from your graveyard: Create a token that's a copy of it, except it's a 4/4 black Zombie Dragon with no mana cost. Eternalize only as a sorcery.)

Creature
Timeless Dragon (mh2) 388
Troll of Khazad-dûm

This creature can't be blocked except by three or more creatures. Swampcycling {1} ({1}, Discard this card: Search your library for a Swamp card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.)

Creature
Troll of Khazad-dûm (ltr) 111
Wandering Archaic

Creature
Wandering Archaic // Explore the Vastlands (stx) 6Wandering Archaic // Explore the Vastlands (stx) 6
Witch Engine

Swampwalk (This creature can't be blocked as long as defending player controls a Swamp.) {T}: Add {B}{B}{B}{B}. Target opponent gains control of this creature. (Activate only as an instant.)

Creature
Witch Engine (plst) USG-169

Creature

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Placeholders

Qty: 2 Price: $0.98
Enigma Sphinx

Flying When this creature is put into your graveyard from the battlefield, put it into your library third from the top. Cascade (When you cast this spell, exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card that costs less. You may cast it without paying its mana cost. Put the exiled cards on the bottom in a random order.)

Creature Artifact
Enigma Sphinx (c18) 178
Sunscorch Regent

Flying Whenever an opponent casts a spell, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature and you gain 1 life.

Creature
Sunscorch Regent (blc) 158

Placeholders

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Enchantment

Qty: 7 Price: $65.49
Behold the Unspeakable

Enchantment
Behold the Unspeakable // Vision of the Unspeakable (neo) 48Behold the Unspeakable // Vision of the Unspeakable (neo) 48
Debtors' Knell

({W/B} can be paid with either {W} or {B}.) At the beginning of your upkeep, put target creature card from a graveyard onto the battlefield under your control.

Enchantment
Debtors' Knell (c21) 215
Hive Mind

Whenever a player casts an instant or sorcery spell, each other player copies that spell. Each of those players may choose new targets for their copy.

Enchantment
Hive Mind (sld) 822
Life Insurance

Extort (Whenever you cast a spell, you may pay {W/B}. If you do, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain that much life.) Whenever a nontoken creature dies, you lose 1 life and create a Treasure token.

Enchantment
Life Insurance (ncc) 74
Mind's Dilation

Whenever an opponent casts their first spell each turn, that player exiles the top card of their library. If it's a nonland card, you may cast it without paying its mana cost.

Enchantment
Mind's Dilation (sld) 1180
Omniscience

You may cast spells from your hand without paying their mana costs.

Enchantment
Omniscience (wot) 70
Price of Knowledge

Players have no maximum hand size. At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, this enchantment deals damage to that player equal to the number of cards in that player's hand.

Enchantment
Price of Knowledge (c13) 89

Enchantment

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Planeswalker

Qty: 2 Price: $9.98
Ob Nixilis Reignited

+1: You draw a card and you lose 1 life. −3: Destroy target creature. −8: Target opponent gets an emblem with "Whenever a player draws a card, you lose 2 life."

Planeswalker
Ob Nixilis Reignited (scd) 96
Teferi, Temporal Pilgrim

Whenever you draw a card, put a loyalty counter on Teferi. 0: Draw a card. −2: Create a 2/2 blue Spirit creature token with vigilance and "Whenever you draw a card, put a +1/+1 counter on this token." −12: Target opponent chooses a permanent they control and returns it to its owner's hand. Then they shuffle each nonland permanent they control into its owner's library.

Planeswalker
Teferi, Temporal Pilgrim (bro) 66

Planeswalker

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Maybeboard

Qty: 3 Price: $2.97
Choked Estuary

As this land enters, you may reveal an Island or Swamp card from your hand. If you don't, this land enters tapped. {T}: Add {U} or {B}.

Land
Choked Estuary (mkc) 254
Gilded Lotus

{T}: Add three mana of any one color.

Artifact
Gilded Lotus (blc) 271
Ormos, Archive Keeper

Flying If you would draw a card while your library has no cards in it, instead put five +1/+1 counters on Ormos. {1}{U}{U}, Discard three cards with different names: Draw five cards.

Creature
Ormos, Archive Keeper (plst) JMP-13

Maybeboard

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Deck Info

Deck stats

30 pips - 18 cards
22 mana - 22 cards
42 pips - 24 cards
20 mana - 20 cards
36 pips - 22 cards
21 mana - 18 cards
0 pips - 0 cards
0 mana - 2 cards
0 pips - 0 cards
0 mana - 2 cards
0 pips - 0 cards
5 mana - 5 cards
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Description

{"ops":[{"insert":"Hi this is my gay shipping commander deck :3 It is very silly and fun :3:3:3\n"}]}
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