Funny

Destructive Urge

Enchant creature
Whenever enchanted creature deals combat damage to a player, that player sacrifices a land of their choice.

Pyretic Ritual

Don't Have

Red Elemental Blast

Choose one —
• Counter target blue spell.
• Destroy target blue permanent.

Maybe

Alexios, Deimos of Kosmos

Trample
Alexios, Deimos of Kosmos attacks each combat if able, can't be sacrificed, and can't attack its owner.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player gains control of Alexios, untaps it, and puts a +1/+1 counter on it. It gains haste until end of turn.

Weathered Runestone

Nonland permanent cards in graveyards and libraries can't enter the battlefield.
Players can't cast spells from graveyards or libraries.

Goblin Engineer

When Goblin Engineer enters, you may search your library for an artifact card, put it into your graveyard, then shuffle.
{R}, {T}, Sacrifice an artifact: Return target artifact card with mana value 3 or less from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Have

Rite of Flame

Add {R}{R}, then add {R} for each card named Rite of Flame in each graveyard.

Sticky Fingers

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature has menace and "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, create a Treasure token." (It can't be blocked except by two or more creatures. The token is an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")
When enchanted creature dies, draw a card.

Howling Mine

At the beginning of each player's draw step, if Howling Mine is untapped, that player draws an additional card.

Cliffhaven Kitesail

When Cliffhaven Kitesail enters, attach it to target creature you control.
Equipped creature has flying.
Equip {2} ({2}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Winter Orb

As long as Winter Orb is untapped, players can't untap more than one land during their untap steps.

Scrawling Crawler

At the beginning of your upkeep, each player draws a card.
Whenever an opponent draws a card, that player loses 1 life.

Rug of Smothering

Flying
Whenever a player casts a spell, they lose 1 life for each spell they've cast this turn.

Vexing Bauble

Whenever a player casts a spell, if no mana was spent to cast it, counter that spell.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice Vexing Bauble: Draw a card.

Umezawa's Jitte

Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage, put two charge counters on Umezawa's Jitte.
Remove a charge counter from Umezawa's Jitte: Choose one —
• Equipped creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn.
• Target creature gets -1/-1 until end of turn.
• You gain 2 life.
Equip {2}

Smoke

Players can't untap more than one creature during their untap steps.

Blood Moon

Abrade

Choose one —
• Abrade deals 3 damage to target creature.
• Destroy target artifact.

Lodestone Golem

Nonartifact spells cost {1} more to cast.

Damping Sphere

If a land is tapped for two or more mana, it produces {C} instead of any other type and amount.
Each spell a player casts costs {1} more to cast for each other spell that player has cast this turn.

Rogue's Passage

{T}: Add {C}.
{4}, {T}: Target creature can't be blocked this turn.

Infiltration Lens

Whenever equipped creature becomes blocked by a creature, you may draw two cards.
Equip {1}

Brotherhood's End

Choose one —
• Brotherhood's End deals 3 damage to each creature and each planeswalker.
• Destroy all artifacts with mana value 3 or less.

Fellwar Stone

{T}: Add one mana of any color that a land an opponent controls could produce.

Grafdigger's Cage

Creature cards in graveyards and libraries can't enter the battlefield.
Players can't cast spells from graveyards or libraries.

Price of Glory

Whenever a player taps a land for mana, if it's not that player's turn, destroy that land.

Tenza, Godo's Maul

Equipped creature gets +1/+1. As long as it's legendary, it gets an additional +2/+2. As long as it's red, it has trample.
Equip {1} ({1}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Orb of Dreams

Swiftfoot Boots

Equipped creature has hexproof and haste. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control. It can attack and {T} no matter when it came under your control.)
Equip {1} ({1}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Shattering Spree

Replicate {R} (When you cast this spell, copy it for each time you paid its replicate cost. You may choose new targets for the copies.)
Destroy target artifact.

Mountain

Arcane Signet

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Simian Spirit Guide

Exile Simian Spirit Guide from your hand: Add {R}.

Goblin Welder

{T}: Choose target artifact a player controls and target artifact card in that player's graveyard. If both targets are still legal as this ability resolves, that player simultaneously sacrifices the artifact and returns the artifact card to the battlefield.

Welding Jar

Sacrifice Welding Jar: Regenerate target artifact.

Winter Moon

Players can't untap more than one nonbasic land during their untap steps.

Strength-Testing Hammer

Whenever equipped creature attacks, roll a six-sided die. That creature gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the result. Then if it has the greatest power or is tied for greatest power among creatures on the battlefield, draw a card.
Equip {3}

Scavenger Grounds

{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}, Sacrifice a Desert: Exile all graveyards.

Slicer, High-Speed Antagonist

Living metal (During your turn, this Vehicle is also a creature.)
First strike, haste
Whenever Slicer deals combat damage to a player, convert it at end of combat.

Slicer, Hired Muscle

More Than Meets the Eye {2}{R} (You may cast this card converted for {2}{R}.)
Double strike, haste
At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, you may have that player gain control of Slicer until end of turn. If you do, untap Slicer, goad it, and it can't be sacrificed this turn. If you don't, convert it.

Slicer, Hired Muscle // Slicer, High-Speed Antagonist

Disruptor Flute

Flash
As Disruptor Flute enters, choose a card name.
Spells with the chosen name cost {3} more to cast.
Activated abilities of sources with the chosen name can't be activated unless they're mana abilities.

Pip-Boy 3000

Whenever equipped creature attacks, choose one —
• Sort Inventory — Draw a card, then discard a card.
• Pick a Perk — Put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.
• Check Map — Untap up to two target lands.
Equip {2}

Mana Geyser

Add {R} for each tapped land your opponents control.

Planar Chaos

At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, sacrifice Planar Chaos.
Whenever a player casts a spell, that player flips a coin. If they lose the flip, counter that spell.

Phyrexian Revoker

As Phyrexian Revoker enters, choose a nonland card name.
Activated abilities of sources with the chosen name can't be activated.

Command Beacon

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}, Sacrifice Command Beacon: Put your commander into your hand from the command zone.

Kediss, Emberclaw Familiar

Whenever a commander you control deals combat damage to an opponent, it deals that much damage to each other opponent.
Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

God-Pharaoh's Statue

Spells your opponents cast cost {2} more to cast.
At the beginning of your end step, each opponent loses 1 life.

Lost Jitte

Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage, put a charge counter on Lost Jitte.
Remove a charge counter from Lost Jitte: Choose one —
• Untap target land.
• Target creature can't block this turn.
• Put a +1/+1 counter on equipped creature.
Equip {1}

Foundry Inspector

Artifact spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.

Sword of the Animist

Equipped creature gets +1/+1.
Whenever equipped creature attacks, you may search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.
Equip {2}

War Room

{T}: Add {C}.
{3}, {T}, Pay life equal to the number of colors in your commanders' color identity: Draw a card.

Brotherhood Regalia

Equipped creature has ward {2}, is an Assassin in addition to its other types, and can't be blocked.
Equip legendary creature {1}
Equip {3} ({3}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Treasure Nabber

Whenever an opponent taps an artifact for mana, gain control of that artifact until the end of your next turn.

Rogue's Gloves

Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card.
Equip {2} ({2}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Explorer's Scope

Whenever equipped creature attacks, look at the top card of your library. If it's a land card, you may put it onto the battlefield tapped.
Equip {1} ({1}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Ricochet Trap

If an opponent cast a blue spell this turn, you may pay {R} rather than pay this spell's mana cost.
Change the target of target spell with a single target.

Untimely Malfunction

Choose one —
• Destroy target artifact.
• Change the target of target spell or ability with a single target.
• One or two target creatures can't block this turn.

Cursed Totem

Activated abilities of creatures can't be activated.

Jeska, Thrice Reborn

Jeska, Thrice Reborn enters with a loyalty counter on her for each time you've cast a commander from the command zone this game.
0: Choose target creature. Until your next turn, if that creature would deal combat damage to one of your opponents, it deals triple that damage to that player instead.
−X: Jeska, Thrice Reborn deals X damage to each of up to three targets.
Jeska, Thrice Reborn can be your commander.
Partner

Cursed Mirror

{T}: Add {R}.
As Cursed Mirror enters, you may have it become a copy of any creature on the battlefield until end of turn, except it has haste.

Pithing Needle

As Pithing Needle enters, choose a card name.
Activated abilities of sources with the chosen name can't be activated unless they're mana abilities.

Spiteful Banditry

When Spiteful Banditry enters, it deals X damage to each creature.
Whenever one or more creatures your opponents control die, you create a Treasure token. This ability triggers only once each turn.

Dream-Thief's Bandana

Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, look at the top card of their library, then exile it face down. For as long as it remains exiled, you may play it, and mana of any type can be spent to cast that spell.
Equip {1}

Volcanic Fissure

As Volcanic Fissure enters, you may pay 3 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.
{T}: Add {R}.

Sundering Eruption

Destroy target land. Its controller may search their library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. Creatures without flying can't block this turn.

Sundering Eruption // Volcanic Fissure

Ruination

Urza's Saga

(As this Saga enters and after your draw step, add a lore counter. Sacrifice after III.)
I — Urza's Saga gains "{T}: Add {C}."
II — Urza's Saga gains "{2}, {T}: Create a 0/0 colorless Construct artifact creature token with 'This creature gets +1/+1 for each artifact you control.'"
III — Search your library for an artifact card with mana cost {0} or {1}, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Magus of the Moon

Gleeful Arsonist

Whenever an opponent casts a noncreature spell, Gleeful Arsonist deals damage equal to its power to that player.
Undying (When this creature dies, if it had no +1/+1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a +1/+1 counter on it.)

Vandalblast

Destroy target artifact you don't control.
Overload {4}{R} (You may cast this spell for its overload cost. If you do, change "target" in its text to "each.")

Wheel of Misfortune

Each player secretly chooses a number 0 or greater, then all players reveal those numbers simultaneously and determine the highest and lowest numbers revealed this way. Wheel of Misfortune deals damage equal to the highest number to each player who chose that number. Each player who didn't choose the lowest number discards their hand, then draws seven cards.

Sol Ring

Pyroblast

Choose one —
• Counter target spell if it's blue.
• Destroy target permanent if it's blue.

Shiny Impetus

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and is goaded. (It attacks each combat if able and attacks a player other than you if able.)
Whenever enchanted creature attacks, you create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")

Gamble

Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, discard a card at random, then shuffle.

Torpor Orb

Creatures entering don't cause abilities to trigger.

Karn's Sylex

Karn's Sylex enters tapped.
Players can't pay life to cast spells or to activate abilities that aren't mana abilities.
{X}, {T}, Exile Karn's Sylex: Destroy each nonland permanent with mana value X or less. Activate only as a sorcery.

Faithless Looting

Draw two cards, then discard two cards.
Flashback {2}{R} (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

Slobad, Goblin Tinkerer

Sacrifice an artifact: Target artifact gains indestructible until end of turn.

Desperate Ritual

Add {R}{R}{R}.
Splice onto Arcane {1}{R} (As you cast an Arcane spell, you may reveal this card from your hand and pay its splice cost. If you do, add this card's effects to that spell.)

Relic of Progenitus

{T}: Target player exiles a card from their graveyard.
{1}, Exile Relic of Progenitus: Exile all graveyards. Draw a card.

Commander's Plate

Equipped creature gets +3/+3 and has protection from each color that's not in your commander's color identity.
Equip commander {3}
Equip {5}

Static Orb

As long as Static Orb is untapped, players can't untap more than two permanents during their untap steps.

Goldvein Pick

Equipped creature gets +1/+1.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create a Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "{T}, Sacrifice this token: Add one mana of any color.")
Equip {1} ({1}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Myriad Landscape

Myriad Landscape enters tapped.
{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}, Sacrifice Myriad Landscape: Search your library for up to two basic land cards that share a land type, put them onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Beamtown Beatstick

Equipped creature gets +1/+0 and has menace. (It can't be blocked except by two or more creatures.)
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player or battle, create a Treasure token.
Equip {2} ({2}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Tibalt's Trickery

Counter target spell. Choose 1, 2, or 3 at random. Its controller mills that many cards, then exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card with a different name than that spell. They may cast that card without paying its mana cost. Then they put the exiled cards on the bottom of their library in a random order.

Rolling Earthquake

Rolling Earthquake deals X damage to each creature without horsemanship and each player.

Reckless Handling

Search your library for an artifact card, reveal it, put it into your hand, shuffle, then discard a card at random. If an artifact card was discarded this way, Reckless Handling deals 2 damage to each opponent.

Plaza of Heroes

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a legendary spell.
{T}: Add one mana of any color among legendary permanents you control.
{3}, {T}, Exile Plaza of Heroes: Target legendary creature gains hexproof and indestructible until end of turn.

Mask of Memory

Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, you may draw two cards. If you do, discard a card.
Equip {1} ({1}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Soulless Jailer

Permanent cards in graveyards can't enter the battlefield.
Players can't cast noncreature spells from graveyards or exile.

Ruby Medallion

Red spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.

Chaos Warp

The owner of target permanent shuffles it into their library, then reveals the top card of their library. If it's a permanent card, they put it onto the battlefield.

War's Toll

Whenever an opponent taps a land for mana, tap all lands that player controls.
If a creature an opponent controls attacks, all creatures that opponent controls attack if able.