Acquis SANS PIMP

Eiganjo Castle

{T}: Add {W}.
{W}, {T}: Prevent the next 2 damage that would be dealt to target legendary creature this turn.

Skullclamp

Equipped creature gets +1/-1.
Whenever equipped creature dies, draw two cards.
Equip {1}

PIMP ACQUIS

Solitude

Flash
Lifelink
When this creature enters, exile up to one other target creature. That creature's controller gains life equal to its power.
Evoke—Exile a white card from your hand.

Ocelot Pride

First strike, lifelink
Ascend (If you control ten or more permanents, you get the city's blessing for the rest of the game.)
At the beginning of your end step, if you gained life this turn, create a 1/1 white Cat creature token. Then if you have the city's blessing, for each token you control that entered this turn, create a token that's a copy of it.

Arcum's Astrolabe

({S} can be paid with one mana from a snow source.)
When this artifact enters, draw a card.
{1}, {T}: Add one mana of any color.

Aven Interrupter

Flash
Flying
When this creature enters, exile target spell. It becomes plotted. (Its owner may cast it as a sorcery on a later turn without paying its mana cost.)
Spells your opponents cast from graveyards or from exile cost {2} more to cast.

Gemstone Caverns

If this card is in your opening hand and you're not the starting player, you may begin the game with Gemstone Caverns on the battlefield with a luck counter on it. If you do, exile a card from your hand.
{T}: Add {C}. If Gemstone Caverns has a luck counter on it, instead add one mana of any color.

Ultra PIMP and foil (if able)

Tangle Wire

Fading 4 (This artifact enters with four fade counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a fade counter from it. If you can't, sacrifice it.)
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player taps an untapped artifact, creature, or land they control for each fade counter on this artifact.

Containment Priest

Flash
If a nontoken creature would enter and it wasn't cast, exile it instead.

Dust Bowl

{T}: Add {C}.
{3}, {T}, Sacrifice a land: Destroy target nonbasic land.

Guide of Souls

Whenever another creature you control enters, you gain 1 life and get {E} (an energy counter).
Whenever you attack, you may pay {E}{E}{E}. When you do, put two +1/+1 counters and a flying counter on target attacking creature. It becomes an Angel in addition to its other types.

Enlightened Tutor

Search your library for an artifact or enchantment card, reveal it, then shuffle and put that card on top.

Tectonic Edge

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice this land: Destroy target nonbasic land. Activate only if an opponent controls four or more lands.

Benevolent Bodyguard

Sacrifice this creature: Target creature you control gains protection from the color of your choice until end of turn.

Steel Seraph

Prototype {1}{W}{W} — 3/3 (You may cast this spell with different mana cost, color, and size. It keeps its abilities and types.)
Flying
At the beginning of combat on your turn, target creature you control gains your choice of flying, vigilance, or lifelink until end of turn.

March of Otherworldly Light

As an additional cost to cast this spell, you may exile any number of white cards from your hand. This spell costs {2} less to cast for each card exiled this way.
Exile target artifact, creature, or enchantment with mana value X or less.

Palace Jailer

When this creature enters, you become the monarch.
When this creature enters, exile target creature an opponent controls until an opponent becomes the monarch.

Thalia, Heretic Cathar

First strike
Creatures and nonbasic lands your opponents control enter tapped.

Path to Exile

Exile target creature. Its controller may search their library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Ephemerate

Exile target creature you control, then return it to the battlefield under its owner's control.
Rebound (If you cast this spell from your hand, exile it as it resolves. At the beginning of your next upkeep, you may cast this card from exile without paying its mana cost.)

Scavenger Grounds

{T}: Add {C}.
{2}, {T}, Sacrifice a Desert: Exile all graveyards.

Ghost Vacuum

{T}: Exile target card from a graveyard.
{6}, {T}, Sacrifice this artifact: Put each creature card exiled with this artifact onto the battlefield under your control with a flying counter on it. Each of them is a 1/1 Spirit in addition to its other types. Activate only as a sorcery.

Swords to Plowshares

Exile target creature. Its controller gains life equal to its power.

Cathar Commando

Flash
{1}, Sacrifice this creature: Destroy target artifact or enchantment.

Winter Moon

Players can't untap more than one nonbasic land during their untap steps.

Recruiter of the Guard

When this creature enters, you may search your library for a creature card with toughness 2 or less, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Getting

Tax Collector

When this creature enters, choose one —
• Tax — Until your next turn, spells your opponents cast cost {1} more to cast.
• Arrest — Detain target creature an opponent controls. (Until your next turn, that creature can't attack or block and its activated abilities can't be activated.)

Sanctifier en-Vec

Protection from black and from red
When this creature enters, exile all cards that are black or red from all graveyards.
If a black or red permanent, spell, or card not on the battlefield would be put into a graveyard, exile it instead.

Restoration Angel

Flash
Flying
When this creature enters, you may exile target non-Angel creature you control, then return that card to the battlefield under your control.

Mana Tithe

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {1}.

Lightshield Array

At the beginning of your end step, put a +1/+1 counter on each creature that attacked this turn.
Sacrifice this enchantment: Creatures you control gain hexproof and indestructible until end of turn.

Invasion of Gobakhan

(As a Siege enters, choose an opponent to protect it. You and others can attack it. When it's defeated, exile it, then cast it transformed.)
When this Siege enters, look at target opponent's hand. You may exile a nonland card from it. For as long as that card remains exiled, its owner may play it. A spell cast this way costs {2} more to cast.

Invasion of Gobakhan // Lightshield Array

Eiganjo, Seat of the Empire

{T}: Add {W}.
Channel — {2}{W}, Discard this card: It deals 4 damage to target attacking or blocking creature. This ability costs {1} less to activate for each legendary creature you control.

Get Lost

Destroy target creature, enchantment, or planeswalker. Its controller creates two Map tokens. (They're artifacts with "{1}, {T}, Sacrifice this token: Target creature you control explores. Activate only as a sorcery.")

Lightstall Inquisitor

Vigilance
When this creature enters, each opponent exiles a card from their hand and may play that card for as long as it remains exiled. Each spell cast this way costs {1} more to cast. Each land played this way enters tapped.

Authority of the Consuls

Creatures your opponents control enter tapped.
Whenever a creature an opponent controls enters, you gain 1 life.

Phelia, Exuberant Shepherd

Flash
Whenever Phelia attacks, exile up to one other target nonland permanent. At the beginning of the next end step, return that card to the battlefield under its owner's control. If it entered under your control, put a +1/+1 counter on Phelia.

Overlord of the Mistmoors

Impending 4—{2}{W}{W} (If you cast this spell for its impending cost, it enters with four time counters and isn't a creature until the last is removed. At the beginning of your end step, remove a time counter from it.)
Whenever this permanent enters or attacks, create two 2/1 white Insect creature tokens with flying.

The Wandering Emperor

Flash
As long as The Wandering Emperor entered this turn, you may activate her loyalty abilities any time you could cast an instant.
+1: Put a +1/+1 counter on up to one target creature. It gains first strike until end of turn.
−1: Create a 2/2 white Samurai creature token with vigilance.
−2: Exile target tapped creature. You gain 2 life.

Mutavault

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}: This land becomes a 2/2 creature with all creature types until end of turn. It's still a land.

Parting Gust

Gift a tapped Fish (You may promise an opponent a gift as you cast this spell. If you do, they create a tapped 1/1 blue Fish creature token before its other effects.)
Exile target nontoken creature. If the gift wasn't promised, return that card to the battlefield under its owner's control with a +1/+1 counter on it at the beginning of the next end step.

Voice of Victory

Mobilize 2 (Whenever this creature attacks, create two tapped and attacking 1/1 red Warrior creature tokens. Sacrifice them at the beginning of the next end step.)
Your opponents can't cast spells during your turn.

Esper Sentinel

Whenever an opponent casts their first noncreature spell each turn, draw a card unless that player pays {X}, where X is this creature's power.

Parallax Wave

Fading 5 (This enchantment enters with five fade counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a fade counter from it. If you can't, sacrifice it.)
Remove a fade counter from this enchantment: Exile target creature.
When this enchantment leaves the battlefield, each player returns to the battlefield all cards they own exiled with it.

Skrelv, Defector Mite

Toxic 1 (Players dealt combat damage by this creature also get a poison counter.)
Skrelv can't block.
{W/P}, {T}: Choose a color. Another target creature you control gains toxic 1 and hexproof from that color until end of turn. It can't be blocked by creatures of that color this turn. ({W/P} can be paid with either {W} or 2 life.)

On Thin Ice

Enchant snow land you control
When this Aura enters, exile target creature an opponent controls until this Aura leaves the battlefield.

Portable Hole

When this artifact enters, exile target nonland permanent an opponent controls with mana value 2 or less until this artifact leaves the battlefield.

Flickerwisp

Flying
When this creature enters, exile another target permanent. Return that card to the battlefield under its owner's control at the beginning of the next end step.

Glimmer Lens

For Mirrodin! (When this Equipment enters, create a 2/2 red Rebel creature token, then attach this to it.)
Whenever equipped creature and at least one other creature attack, draw a card.
Equip {1}{W}

Urza's Saga

(As this Saga enters and after your draw step, add a lore counter. Sacrifice after III.)
I — This Saga gains "{T}: Add {C}."
II — This Saga gains "{2}, {T}: Create a 0/0 colorless Construct artifact creature token with 'This token gets +1/+1 for each artifact you control.'"
III — Search your library for an artifact card with mana cost {0} or {1}, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Crystal Vein

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}, Sacrifice this land: Add {C}{C}.

Thalia, Guardian of Thraben

First strike
Noncreature spells cost {1} more to cast.

Toby, Beastie Befriender

When Toby enters, create a 4/4 white Beast creature token with "This token can't attack or block alone."
As long as you control four or more creature tokens, creature tokens you control have flying.

Giver of Runes

{T}: Another target creature you control gains protection from colorless or from the color of your choice until end of turn.

Seam Rip

When this enchantment enters, exile target nonland permanent an opponent controls with mana value 2 or less until this enchantment leaves the battlefield.

Pre-War Formalwear

When this Equipment enters, return target creature card with mana value 3 or less from your graveyard to the battlefield and attach this Equipment to it.
Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has vigilance.
Equip {3}

Blade Splicer

When this creature enters, create a 3/3 colorless Phyrexian Golem artifact creature token.
Golems you control have first strike.

Elite Spellbinder

Flying
When this creature enters, look at target opponent's hand. You may exile a nonland card from it. For as long as that card remains exiled, its owner may play it. A spell cast this way costs {2} more to cast.

Ossification

Enchant basic land you control
When this Aura enters, exile target creature or planeswalker an opponent controls until this Aura leaves the battlefield.

Armageddon

Mother of Runes

{T}: Target creature you control gains protection from the color of your choice until end of turn.

Frostwalk Bastion

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}{S}: Until end of turn, this land becomes a 2/3 Construct artifact creature. It's still a land. ({S} can be paid with one mana from a snow source.)
Whenever this land deals combat damage to a creature, tap that creature and it doesn't untap during its controller's next untap step.

Razorgrass Field

As this land enters, you may pay 3 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.
{T}: Add {W}.

Razorgrass Ambush

Razorgrass Ambush deals 3 damage to target attacking or blocking creature.

Razorgrass Ambush // Razorgrass Field

Ranger-Captain of Eos

When this creature enters, you may search your library for a creature card with mana value 1 or less, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
Sacrifice this creature: Your opponents can't cast noncreature spells this turn.

Drannith Magistrate

Your opponents can't cast spells from anywhere other than their hands.

Rishadan Port

City of Traitors

When you play another land, sacrifice this land.
{T}: Add {C}{C}.

Static Prison

When this enchantment enters, exile target nonland permanent an opponent controls until this enchantment leaves the battlefield. You get {E}{E} (two energy counters).
At the beginning of your first main phase, sacrifice this enchantment unless you pay {E}.

Cataclysm

Each player chooses from among the permanents they control an artifact, a creature, an enchantment, and a land, then sacrifices the rest.

Ravages of War

Seasoned Dungeoneer

When this creature enters, you take the initiative.
Whenever you attack, target attacking Cleric, Rogue, Warrior, or Wizard gains protection from creatures until end of turn. It explores. (Reveal the top card of your library. Put that card into your hand if it's a land. Otherwise, put a +1/+1 counter on the creature, then put the card back or put it into your graveyard.)

White Orchid Phantom

Flying, first strike
When this creature enters, destroy up to one target nonbasic land. Its controller may search their library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Mishra's Factory

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}: This land becomes a 2/2 Assembly-Worker artifact creature until end of turn. It's still a land.
{T}: Target Assembly-Worker creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn.

Flagstones of Trokair

{T}: Add {W}.
When Flagstones of Trokair is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, you may search your library for a Plains card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Shadowspear

Equipped creature gets +1/+1 and has trample and lifelink.
{1}: Permanents your opponents control lose hexproof and indestructible until end of turn.
Equip {2}

Command Beacon

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}, Sacrifice this land: Put your commander into your hand from the command zone.

Reverent Mantra

You may exile a white card from your hand rather than pay this spell's mana cost.
Choose a color. All creatures gain protection from the chosen color until end of turn.

Witch-Blessed Meadow

Witch Enchanter

When this creature enters, destroy target artifact or enchantment an opponent controls.

Witch Enchanter // Witch-Blessed Meadow

Enduring Innocence

Lifelink
Whenever one or more other creatures you control with power 2 or less enter, draw a card. This ability triggers only once each turn.
When Enduring Innocence dies, if it was a creature, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control. It's an enchantment. (It's not a creature.)

Reprieve

Return target spell to its owner's hand.
Draw a card.

Skyclave Apparition

When this creature enters, exile up to one target nonland, nontoken permanent you don't control with mana value 4 or less.
When this creature leaves the battlefield, the exiled card's owner creates an X/X blue Illusion creature token, where X is the mana value of the exiled card.

Staff of the Storyteller

When this artifact enters, create a 1/1 white Spirit creature token with flying.
Whenever you create one or more creature tokens, put a story counter on this artifact.
{W}, {T}, Remove a story counter from this artifact: Draw a card.

Starfield Shepherd

Flying
When this creature enters, search your library for a basic Plains card or a creature card with mana value 1 or less, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
Warp {1}{W} (You may cast this card from your hand for its warp cost. Exile this creature at the beginning of the next end step, then you may cast it from exile on a later turn.)

Swift Reconfiguration

Flash
Enchant creature or Vehicle
Enchanted permanent is a Vehicle artifact with crew 5 and it loses all other card types. (It's not a creature unless it's crewed.)

Cloud, Midgar Mercenary

When Cloud enters, search your library for an Equipment card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
As long as Cloud is equipped, if an ability of Cloud or an Equipment attached to it triggers, that ability triggers an additional time.

Snow-Covered Plains

Umezawa's Jitte

Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage, put two charge counters on Umezawa's Jitte.
Remove a charge counter from Umezawa's Jitte: Choose one —
• Equipped creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn.
• Target creature gets -1/-1 until end of turn.
• You gain 2 life.
Equip {2}

Ranger of Eos

When this creature enters, you may search your library for up to two creature cards with mana value 1 or less, reveal them, put them into your hand, then shuffle.

Talon Gates of Madara

When this land enters, up to one target creature phases out.
{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}: Add one mana of any color.
{4}: Put this card from your hand onto the battlefield.