capital offense

target creature gets -x/-x until end of turn, where x is the number of times a capital letter appears in its rules text. (ignore reminder text and flavor text.)

Mother of Goons

Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, sacrifice Mother of Goons unless you insult that creature.

Blast from the Past

Madness {R}, cycling {1}{R}, kicker {2}{R}, flashback {3}{R}, buyback {4}{R}
Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to any target. If this spell was kicked, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token.

Baron Von Count

Baron Von Count enters with a doom counter on "5."
Whenever you cast a spell with the indicated numeral in its mana cost, text box, power, or toughness, move the doom counter one numeral to the left.
When the doom counter moves from "1," destroy target player and put that doom counter on "5."

It That Gets Left Hanging

When It That Gets Left Hanging enters, ask a person outside the game to high-five you. If they won't, It That Gets Left Hanging gains haste until end of turn.

Red-Hot Hottie

Whenever Red-Hot Hottie deals damage to a creature, put a third-degree-burn counter on that creature. It gains "At the beginning of each end step, sacrifice this creature unless you scream 'Aaah!' at the top of your lungs."

Ruinous Path

Destroy target creature or planeswalker.
Awaken 4—{5}{B}{B} (If you cast this spell for {5}{B}{B}, also put four +1/+1 counters on target land you control and it becomes a 0/0 Elemental creature with haste. It's still a land.)

Languish

All creatures get -4/-4 until end of turn.

Lightning Greaves

Equipped creature has haste and shroud. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities.)
Equip {0}

Infernal Grasp

Destroy target creature. You lose 2 life.

Staff of Compleation

{T}, Pay 1 life: Destroy target permanent you own.
{T}, Pay 2 life: Add one mana of any color.
{T}, Pay 3 life: Proliferate.
{T}, Pay 4 life: Draw a card.
{5}: Untap Staff of Compleation.

Jaya Ballard, Task Mage

{R}, {T}, Discard a card: Destroy target blue permanent.
{1}{R}, {T}, Discard a card: Jaya Ballard, Task Mage deals 3 damage to any target. A creature dealt damage this way can't be regenerated this turn.
{5}{R}{R}, {T}, Discard a card: Jaya Ballard deals 6 damage to each creature and each player.

Goblin Tutor

Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
2 — A card named Goblin Tutor
3 — An enchantment
4 — An artifact
5 — A creature
6 — An instant or sorcery

Wayfarer's Bauble

{2}, {T}, Sacrifice Wayfarer's Bauble: Search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.

Eye to Eye

You and target creature's controller have a staring contest. If you win, destroy that creature.

Strategy, Schmategy

Roll a six-sided die. Strategy, Schmategy has the indicated effect.
1 — Do nothing.
2 — Destroy all artifacts.
3 — Destroy all lands.
4 — Strategy, Schmategy deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.
5 — Each player discards their hand and draws seven cards.
6 — Repeat this process two more times.

Swiftfoot Boots

Equipped creature has hexproof and haste. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control.)
Equip {1}

Hazmat Suit (Used)

Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+1 and has menace.
Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches enchanted creature, that player loses 2 life.

Kill! Destroy!

Destroy target nonblack creature.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "kill" or "destroy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Kill! Destroy! from your graveyard to your hand.

Pointy Finger of Doom

{3}, {T}: Spin Pointy Finger of Doom in the middle of the table so that it rotates completely at least once, then destroy the closest permanent the finger points to.

Entirely Normal Armchair

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.
{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.

Ignacio of Myra's Marvels

As Ignacio of Myra's Marvels enters, choose armor, blood, book, bottle, fang, fire, scroll, spear, sword, or water.
Whenever you cast a spell with the chosen object in its art, create two Treasure tokens.
Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

Underdome

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.

One-Clown Band

{2}{R}: Target Robot gets +2/+0 until end of turn.

Non-Human Cannonball

When Non-Human Cannonball dies, roll a six-sided die. If the result is 4 or less, Non-Human Cannonball deals that much damage to you.

Gray Merchant of Alphabet

When Gray Merchant of Alphabet enters, choose a letter. For each creature you control that has the chosen letter in its name, you gain 1 life and each opponent loses 1 life.

Talisman of Indulgence

{T}: Add {C}.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}. Talisman of Indulgence deals 1 damage to you.

Inhumaniac

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or 4, put a +1/+1 counter on Inhumaniac. On a 5 or higher, put two +1/+1 counters on it. On a 1, remove all +1/+1 counters from Inhumaniac.

Silumgar Assassin

Creatures with power greater than Silumgar Assassin's power can't block it.
Megamorph {2}{B} (You may cast this card face down as a 2/2 creature for {3}. Turn it face up any time for its megamorph cost and put a +1/+1 counter on it.)
When Silumgar Assassin is turned face up, destroy target creature with power 3 or less an opponent controls.

Zulaport Enforcer

Level up {4} ({4}: Put a level counter on this. Level up only as a sorcery.)
LEVEL 1-2
3/3
LEVEL 3+
5/5
Zulaport Enforcer can't be blocked except by black creatures.

Ancestral Statue

When Ancestral Statue enters, return a nonland permanent you control to its owner's hand.

Lava Zombie

When Lava Zombie enters, return a black or red creature you control to its owner's hand.
{2}: Lava Zombie gets +1/+0 until end of turn.

Vandalblast

Destroy target artifact you don't control.
Overload {4}{R} (You may cast this spell for its overload cost. If you do, change "target" in its text to "each.")

Staff of Domination

{1}: Untap Staff of Domination.
{2}, {T}: You gain 1 life.
{3}, {T}: Untap target creature.
{4}, {T}: Tap target creature.
{5}, {T}: Draw a card.

Chandra, Torch of Defiance

+1: Exile the top card of your library. You may cast that card. If you don't, Chandra, Torch of Defiance deals 2 damage to each opponent.
+1: Add {R}{R}.
−3: Chandra, Torch of Defiance deals 4 damage to target creature.
−7: You get an emblem with "Whenever you cast a spell, this emblem deals 5 damage to any target."

Sol Ring

Rakdos Signet

Null Champion

Level up {3} ({3}: Put a level counter on this. Level up only as a sorcery.)
LEVEL 1-3
4/2
LEVEL 4+
7/3
{B}: Regenerate Null Champion.

Guul Draz Assassin

Level up {1}{B} ({1}{B}: Put a level counter on this. Level up only as a sorcery.)
LEVEL 2-3
2/2
{B}, {T}: Target creature gets -2/-2 until end of turn.
LEVEL 4+
4/4
{B}, {T}: Target creature gets -4/-4 until end of turn.

Fellwar Stone

{T}: Add one mana of any color that a land an opponent controls could produce.

Slayer's Plate

Equipped creature gets +4/+2.
Whenever equipped creature dies, if it was a Human, create a 1/1 white Spirit creature token with flying.
Equip {3}

Rising Miasma

All creatures get -2/-2 until end of turn.
Awaken 3—{5}{B}{B} (If you cast this spell for {5}{B}{B}, also put three +1/+1 counters on target land you control and it becomes a 0/0 Elemental creature with haste. It's still a land.)

Chaos Warp

The owner of target permanent shuffles it into their library, then reveals the top card of their library. If it's a permanent card, they put it onto the battlefield.

Blasphemous Act

This spell costs {1} less to cast for each creature on the battlefield.
Blasphemous Act deals 13 damage to each creature.

Ire Shaman

Menace (This creature can't be blocked except by two or more creatures.)
Megamorph {R} (You may cast this card face down as a 2/2 creature for {3}. Turn it face up any time for its megamorph cost and put a +1/+1 counter on it.)
When Ire Shaman is turned face up, exile the top card of your library. Until end of turn, you may play that card.

Murderous Rider

Lifelink
When Murderous Rider dies, put it on the bottom of its owner's library.

Swift End

Destroy target creature or planeswalker. You lose 2 life. (Then exile this card. You may cast the creature later from exile.)

Murderous Rider // Swift End

Brimstone Mage

Level up {3}{R} ({3}{R}: Put a level counter on this. Level up only as a sorcery.)
LEVEL 1-2
2/3
{T}: Brimstone Mage deals 1 damage to any target.
LEVEL 3+
2/4
{T}: Brimstone Mage deals 3 damage to any target.

Nirkana Cutthroat

Level up {2}{B} ({2}{B}: Put a level counter on this. Level up only as a sorcery.)
LEVEL 1-2
4/3
Deathtouch
LEVEL 3+
5/4
First strike, deathtouch

Ambition's Cost

You draw three cards and you lose 3 life.

Night's Whisper

Read the Bones

Scry 2, then draw two cards. You lose 2 life. (To scry 2, look at the top two cards of your library, then put any number of them on the bottom and the rest on top in any order.)

Mind Stone

{T}: Add {C}.
{1}, {T}, Sacrifice Mind Stone: Draw a card.

Phyrexian Arena

At the beginning of your upkeep, you draw a card and you lose 1 life.

Commander's Sphere

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.
Sacrifice Commander's Sphere: Draw a card.

Thought Vessel

You have no maximum hand size.
{T}: Add {C}.

Handy Dandy Clone Machine

{2}, {T}: Create a 2/2 colorless Homunculus creature token. It must be represented by a unique hand and two fingers at all times, or it ceases to exist.

Face to Face

You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that player.

Solemn Simulacrum

When Solemn Simulacrum enters, you may search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.
When Solemn Simulacrum dies, you may draw a card.

Thrill of Possibility

As an additional cost to cast this spell, discard a card.
Draw two cards.

Abrade

Choose one —
• Abrade deals 3 damage to target creature.
• Destroy target artifact.

Tibalt's Trickery

Counter target spell. Choose 1, 2, or 3 at random. Its controller mills that many cards, then exiles cards from the top of their library until they exile a nonland card with a different name than that spell. They may cast that card without paying its mana cost. Then they put the exiled cards on the bottom of their library in a random order.

Dragonskull Summit

Dragonskull Summit enters tapped unless you control a Swamp or a Mountain.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Blood Crypt

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)
As Blood Crypt enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.

Black Market Connections

At the beginning of your first main phase, choose one or more —
• Sell Contraband — Create a Treasure token. You lose 1 life.
• Buy Information — Draw a card. You lose 2 life.
• Hire a Mercenary — Create a 3/2 colorless Shapeshifter creature token with changeling. You lose 3 life. (It has every creature type.)

Faithless Looting

Draw two cards, then discard two cards.
Flashback {2}{R} (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

Command Tower

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Smoldering Marsh

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)
Smoldering Marsh enters tapped unless you control two or more basic lands.

Luxury Suite

Luxury Suite enters tapped unless you have two or more opponents.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Mountain

Sign in Blood

Target player draws two cards and loses 2 life.

Haunted Ridge

Haunted Ridge enters tapped unless you control two or more other lands.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Temple of Malice

Temple of Malice enters tapped.
When Temple of Malice enters, scry 1.
{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

Canyon Slough

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)
Canyon Slough enters tapped.
Cycling {2} ({2}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Swamp

Gray Merchant of Asphodel

When Gray Merchant of Asphodel enters, each opponent loses X life, where X is your devotion to black. You gain life equal to the life lost this way. (Each {B} in the mana costs of permanents you control counts toward your devotion to black.)

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