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Size: 99
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Custom
Size: 99
No deck tags
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Commander

Qty: 1 Price: $1.29
Surgeon General Commander
Whenever you augment, enchant, or mutate a creature you control, draw a card.
: Add
,
,
,
, or
.
Legendary Creature - Bat Wombat Chameleon
Surgeon General Commander (und) 72

Commander

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Abuse

Qty: 7 Price: $14.34
Baron Von Count
Baron Von Count enters with a doom counter on "5."
Whenever you cast a spell with the indicated numeral in its mana cost, text box, power, or toughness, move the doom counter one numeral to the left.
When the doom counter moves from "1," destroy target player and put that doom counter on "5."
Legendary Creature - Human Villain
Baron Von Count (ulst) 43
Bureaucracy
Pursuant to subsection 3.1(4) of Richard's Rules of Order, at the beginning of the upkeep of each participant in this game of the Magic: The Gathering® trading card game (hereafter known as "PLAYER"), that PLAYER performs all actions in the sequence of previously added actions (hereafter known as "ACTION QUEUE"), in the order those actions were added, then adds another action to the end of the ACTION QUEUE. All actions must be simple physical or verbal actions that a player can perform while sitting in a chair, without jeopardizing the health and security of said PLAYER.
When any PLAYER does not perform all the prescribed actions in the correct order, sacrifice this enchantment and said PLAYER discards their complement of cards in hand (hereafter known as "HAND").
Enchantment
Bureaucracy (ugl) 14
Censorship
As this enchantment enters, choose a word.
Whenever a player says the chosen word, this enchantment deals 2 damage to that player.
Enchantment
Censorship (ugl) 15
Clocknapper
When this creature enters, choose beginning phase, first main phase, combat phase, postcombat main phase, or ending phase. Steal that phase from target player during their next turn. (That phase occurs as though it's your turn instead.)
Creature - Human Spy
Clocknapper (ulst) 14
Common Courtesy
Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.
When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice this enchantment.
Enchantment
Common Courtesy (und) 22
Farewell to Arms
As this enchantment enters, choose a hand attached to an opponent's arm.
When the chosen hand isn't behind its owner's back, sacrifice this enchantment. If you do, that player discards their hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers wouldn't let us do it the other way.)
Enchantment
Farewell to Arms (unh) 56★
Gleemax
You choose all targets for all spells and abilities.
Legendary Artifact
Gleemax (unh) 121

Abuse

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Anthem

Qty: 1 Price: $0.35
Emcee
Whenever another creature enters, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.
Creature - Human Rogue
Emcee (und) 3

Anthem

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Artifact

Qty: 1 Price: $15.99
Rod of Spanking
,
: This artifact deals 1 damage to target player. Then untap this artifact unless that player says "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"
Artifact
Rod of Spanking (unh) 127

Artifact

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Creature

Qty: 1 Price: $0.79
Border Guardian
Whenever you cast a silver-bordered spell, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.
Whenever you cast a black-bordered spell, this creature can't be blocked this turn.
Whenever you cast a white-bordered spell, this creature gains double strike until end of turn.
Creature Artifact - Knight
Border Guardian (ust) 140

Creature

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Draw

Qty: 10 Price: $11.91
Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle
As this artifact enters, you and an opponent each secretly choose Whack or Doodle. Then those choices are revealed. If the choices match, this artifact has that ability. Otherwise, it has Buzz.
• Whack —
: Target player loses 2 life.
• Doodle —
: You gain 3 life.
• Buzz —
,
: Draw a card.
Artifact
Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle (ust) 141
Everythingamajig
,
: Draw a card. Activate only if you have no cards in hand.
,
: You gain 10 life.
,
, Sacrifice this artifact: You may put a silver-bordered or acorn permanent card from your hand onto the battlefield.
Artifact
Everythingamajig (ust) 147b
Ineffable Blessing
As this enchantment enters, choose Flavorful or Bland.
• Flavorful — Whenever a creature you control with flavor text enters, draw a card.
• Bland — Whenever a creature you control without flavor text enters, draw a card.
Enchantment
Ineffable Blessing (ust) 113a
Mine, Mine, Mine!
When this enchantment enters, each player puts their library into their hand.
Players have no maximum hand size and don't lose the game for drawing from an empty library.
Each player can't cast more than one spell each turn.
When this enchantment leaves the battlefield, each player shuffles their hand and graveyard into their library.
Enchantment
Mine, Mine, Mine! (ugl) 65
My First Tome
,
: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and they guessed wrong, you draw a card.
Artifact - Book
My First Tome (unh) 125★
Opening Ceremony
Add
. You may open a sealed Magic booster pack. Until end of turn, you may cast spells from among the cards in that booster pack.
Sorcery
Opening Ceremony (unf) 118
Spelling Bee
Flying, deathtouch
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, that player looks at the top card of your library and chooses a word on that card. You spell that word. If you spell it correctly, draw a card. Otherwise, scry 1.
Creature - Insect Alien
Spelling Bee (unf) 155
Split Screen
When this artifact enters, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it.
Play with your libraries' top cards revealed.
When this artifact leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.
Artifact
Split Screen (ust) 158
Spy Eye
Flying
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card from that player's library.
Creature - Spy Eye
Spy Eye (ust) 46
Summon the Pack
Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put all creature cards revealed this way onto the battlefield under your control. They're Zombies in addition to their other types. (Remove those cards from your deck before beginning a new game.)
Sorcery
Summon the Pack (ust) 74

Draw

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Evasion

Qty: 1 Price: $0.35
Hurloon Wrangler
Denimwalk (This creature can't be blocked as long as defending player is wearing denim.)
Creature - Minotaur
Hurloon Wrangler (ugl) 46

Evasion

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Land

Qty: 37 Price: $440.52
Blood Crypt
(
: Add
or
.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.
Land - Swamp Mountain
Blood Crypt (unf) 279
Breeding Pool
(
: Add
or
.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.
Land - Island Forest
Breeding Pool (unf) 286
Forest
(
: Add
.)
Basic Land - Forest
Forest (unf) 239
Godless Shrine
(
: Add
or
.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.
Land - Plains Swamp
Godless Shrine (unf) 282
Hallowed Fountain
(
: Add
or
.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.
Land - Plains Island
Hallowed Fountain (unf) 277
Island
(
: Add
.)
Basic Land - Island
Island (fdn) 274
Mountain
(
: Add
.)
Basic Land - Mountain
Mountain (tla) 285
Nearby Planet
Rangeling (This card is every land type, including Plains, Island, Swamp, Mountain, Forest, Desert, Gate, Lair, Locus, and all those Urza's ones.)
This land enters tapped.
When this land enters, sacrifice it unless you pay
.
Land
Nearby Planet (unf) 198
Overgrown Tomb
(
: Add
or
.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.
Land - Swamp Forest
Overgrown Tomb (unf) 284
Plains
(
: Add
.)
Basic Land - Plains
Plains (tle) 297
Sacred Foundry
(
: Add
or
.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.
Land - Plains Mountain
Sacred Foundry (unf) 285
Steam Vents
(
: Add
or
.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.
Land - Island Mountain
Steam Vents (unf) 283
Stomping Ground
(
: Add
or
.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.
Land - Mountain Forest
Stomping Ground (unf) 280
Swamp
(
: Add
.)
Basic Land - Swamp
Swamp (tla) 284
Temple Garden
(
: Add
or
.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.
Land - Plains Forest
Temple Garden (unf) 281
The Big Top
: Add one mana of any color that appears on your top. (A top is an outerwear garment worn on the upper body.)
Land
The Big Top (unf) 197
Watery Grave
(
: Add
or
.)
As this land enters, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters tapped.
Land - Island Swamp
Watery Grave (unf) 278

Land

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Meme

Qty: 19 Price: $52.44
Animate Graveyard
Enchant your graveyard
Enchanted graveyard is a creature on the battlefield with base power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It has the text boxes of all creature cards in it. It's still a graveyard.
If enchanted graveyard would leave the battlefield, instead exile this Aura.
Enchantment - Aura
Animate Graveyard (unf) 65
Animate Library
Enchant your library
Enchanted library is an artifact creature on the battlefield with power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It's still a library.
If enchanted library would leave the battlefield, exile this Aura instead.
Enchantment - Aura
Animate Library (ust) 26
Ashnod's Coupon
, Sacrifice this artifact: Target player gets you target drink. You pay any costs for the drink.
Artifact
Ashnod's Coupon (pal04) 14
Avatar of Me
This spell costs
more to cast for each ten years you've been alive.
Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½.
Avatar of Me is the color of your eyes.
Creature - Avatar
Avatar of Me (ulst) 12
Boomstacker
As this creature enters and whenever it attacks, stack two dice on top of it. (All dice must be stacked vertically, one on top of another.)
This creature gets +1/+1 for each die in its stack.
This creature attacks each combat if able.
When the stack falls, sacrifice this creature.
Creature - Goblin Artificer
Boomstacker (und) 49
Carnivorous Death-Parrot
Flying
At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice this creature unless you say its flavor text.
Creature - Bird
Carnivorous Death-Parrot (und) 19
Cheatyface
If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.
Flying
Creature - Efreet
Cheatyface (und) 20
Chivalrous Chevalier
Flying
When this creature enters, return a creature you control to its owner's hand unless you compliment an opponent.
Creature Artifact - Knight Cyborg
Chivalrous Chevalier (ust) 5
Clambassadors
Whenever this creature deals damage to a player, choose an artifact, creature, or land you control. That player gains control of that permanent.
Creature - Clamfolk
Clambassadors (ugl) 18
Dumb Ass
At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, target opponent chooses whether this creature attacks this turn.
Creature - Barbarian Donkey
Dumb Ass (unh) 75
Face to Face
You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that player.
Sorcery
Face to Face (unh) 76
Gerrymandering
Exile all lands. Give each player a number of those cards chosen at random equal to the number of those cards the player controlled. Each player returns those cards to the battlefield under their control.
Sorcery
Gerrymandering (ugl) 59
Goblin Mime
When you speak, sacrifice this creature.
Creature - Goblin Mime
Goblin Mime (unh) 78★
Goblin S.W.A.T. Team
Say "Goblin S.W.A.T. Team": Put a +1/+1 counter on this creature unless an opponent swats the table within five seconds. Activate only once each turn.
Creature - Goblin Warrior
Goblin S.W.A.T. Team (und) 52
Mesa Chicken
Stand up, Flap your arms, Cluck like a chicken: This creature gains flying until end of turn.
Creature - Bird
Mesa Chicken (ugl) 9
Psychic Network
Each player plays with the top card of their library held against their forehead, revealed to each other player.
Enchantment
Psychic Network (ugl) 26
Staying Power
"Until end of turn" and "this turn" effects don't end.
Enchantment
Staying Power (ulst) 8
Very Cryptic Command
Choose two —
• Scry 3.
• Create a 2/2 black Rogue creature token with menace.
• Add or subtract 1 or one from a number or number word on target spell or permanent until end of turn.
• Return all artifacts target player controls to their owner's hand.
Instant
Very Cryptic Command (ust) 49f
Yet Another Aether Vortex
All creatures have haste.
Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.
Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.
Enchantment
Yet Another Aether Vortex (ulst) 32

Meme

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Protection

Qty: 2 Price: $1.18
Charm School
As this enchantment enters, choose a color and balance this enchantment on your head.
Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you by sources of the chosen color.
When this enchantment falls off your head, sacrifice this enchantment.
Enchantment
Charm School (ugl) 1
Clay Pigeon
Flying
, Throw this creature into the air at least two feet above your head while seated: If you catch this creature with one hand, prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to you this turn and tap this creature. Otherwise, sacrifice it.
Creature Artifact - Bird
Clay Pigeon (ugl) 73

Protection

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Ramp

Qty: 4 Price: $44.96
Blacker Lotus
: Tear this artifact into pieces. Add four mana of any one color. Remove the pieces from the game.
Artifact
Blacker Lotus (ugl) 70
Bronze Calendar
Spells you cast cost
less to cast.
You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.
When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice this artifact.
Artifact
Bronze Calendar (ugl) 71
Mox Lotus
: Add
.
: Add one mana of any color.
Artifact
Mox Lotus (unh) 124
Sole Performer
: Add
. Activate only once each turn. (While activating an ability, use
rather than tapping the permanent to pay for
.)
Creature - Elf Performer
Sole Performer (unf) 154

Ramp

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Removal

Qty: 10 Price: $24.34
AWOL
Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.
Instant
AWOL (und) 2
capital offense
target creature gets -x/-x until end of turn, where x is the number of times a capital letter appears in its rules text. (ignore reminder text and flavor text.)
instant
capital offense (ust) 52
Chaos Confetti
,
: Tear this artifact into pieces. Throw the pieces onto the battlefield from a distance of at least five feet. Destroy each permanent that a piece touches. Remove the pieces from the game.
Artifact
Chaos Confetti (ugl) 72
Deal Damage
Deal Damage deals 4 damage to any target.
Gotcha — If an opponent says "deal" or "damage," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Deal Damage from your graveyard to your hand.
Instant
Deal Damage (unh) 74
Duh
Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)
Instant
Duh (unh) 52
Entirely Normal Armchair
During your turn, if this card is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.
: Return this artifact to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see this artifact.
, Sacrifice this artifact: Destroy target attacking creature.
Artifact
Entirely Normal Armchair (und) 77
Eye to Eye
You and target creature's controller have a staring contest. If you win, destroy that creature.
Instant
Eye to Eye (unh) 54
Five-Finger Discount
Put target nonland permanent into your hand. You may spend mana as though it were mana of any color the next time you cast that card.
Sorcery
Five-Finger Discount (ust) 33
GO TO JAIL
When this enchantment enters, exile target creature an opponent controls until this enchantment leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of the upkeep of the exiled card's owner, that player rolls two six-sided dice. If they roll doubles, sacrifice this enchantment.
Enchantment
GO TO JAIL (und) 6
Number Crunch
Return target permanent to its owner's hand.
Gotcha — If an opponent says a number, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return this card from your graveyard to your hand.
Instant
Number Crunch (unh) 42

Removal

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Tokens

Qty: 2 Price: $21.34
Chicken Egg
At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 6, sacrifice this creature and create a 4/4 red Giant Bird creature token.
Creature - Egg
Chicken Egg (ugl) 41
Thopter Pie Network
At the beginning of your upkeep, if you're eating, create a 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature token with flying. Use food to represent the token.
Whenever a creature token you control dies, if it's represented by food, eat it.
Enchantment
Thopter Pie Network (hho) 16

Tokens

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Tutor

Qty: 3 Price: $8.47
Booster Tutor
Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of them into your hand. (Remove that card from your deck before beginning a new game.)
Instant
Booster Tutor (und) 33
Do-It-Yourself Seraph
Flying
Whenever this creature attacks, you may search your library for an artifact card, exile it, then shuffle.
This creature has the text box of each card exiled with this creature in addition to its own.
Creature Artifact - Angel Cyborg
Do-It-Yourself Seraph (ulst) 2
Standard Procedure
, Reveal Standard Procedure from your hand: Choose an instant or sorcery card with mana value 3 or less currently legal in the Standard format. Standard Procedure becomes that card until end of turn.
Instant
Standard Procedure (unf) 1

Tutor

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Deck Info

Deck stats

10 pips - 8 cards
15 mana - 12 cards
27 pips - 15 cards
24 mana - 21 cards
11 pips - 8 cards
15 mana - 12 cards
14 pips - 11 cards
16 mana - 13 cards
8 pips - 6 cards
15 mana - 12 cards
0 pips - 0 cards
1 mana - 1 card
Card NameQtyOdds
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